Email: Greg@gho.st
Signal: +1 613 262 6705
Telegram: +1 613 262 6705
Note: my phone number does not work for regular phone calls or sms
A Radxa Orion O6 with 64Gb of unified memory retails for less than $900USD today. Add a decent NVME drive and youāre still only looking at ~$1000USD. Qwen 3.5, a 397B parameter model runs on this little inference rig. The Qwen 3.5 model itself is 240Gb (using unslothās Q4_K_M quantization) which far exceeds the available memory however itās a mixture of experts model with only 17B active parameters. By leaning heavily on MMAP we can utilize the NVME storage at inference.
Itās not fast, Iām getting 0.6 tokens per second for Qwen 3.5 and 0.9 tokens per second for MiniMax M2.5 but Iām not making chat bots, Iām classifying my emails privately. This speed is fine for my use case. Models like GLM-4.7 Flash can achieve a solid 10 tokens per second for cases when response time is important.
Iām also not currently using Orion O6 to its full potential. Those inference scores are using the GPU cores (and a tiny bit of CPU). I am not utilizing the NPU cores and there was a free M.2 slot so I threw in a Coral Accelerator to get TPU cores as well because why not. To be fair, NPU and TPU cores arenāt great for LLM inference but there is still a free PCIe x16 slot that can accept a full sized GPU š
Qwen 3.5 outperforms GPT 5.2, Opus 4.5, and Gemini 3.1 Pro on the instruction-following benchmark IFBench.
Here are my install instructions for Radxaās Debian Bookworm GNOME image.
llama-server router mode (single endpoint, many models)--models-max 1 (only one model loaded at a time)mmap = true (fast model switching; uses page cache)-DLLAMA_CURL=OFFsudo apt update
sudo apt install -y \
git cmake ninja-build build-essential pkg-config \
python3 python3-pip python3-venv \
curl ca-certificates jq xz-utils \
libopenblas-dev libomp-dev \
libvulkan1 libvulkan-dev vulkan-tools mesa-vulkan-drivers \
glslc libcurl4-openssl-dev
llm user + directory layoutsudo useradd --system --home /srv/llm --create-home --shell /usr/sbin/nologin llm || true
sudo mkdir -p /srv/llm/{src,models,etc,cache/huggingface,logs}
sudo chown -R llm:llm /srv/llm
You must ensure the llm user can open the render nodes.
ls -al /dev/dri
ls -al /dev/dri/renderD*
You will typically see group render (sometimes video).
If render nodes are group render:
sudo usermod -aG render llm
sudo usermod -aG render radxa
If group video instead:
sudo usermod -aG video llm
sudo usermod -aG video radxa
Reboot (simple, reliable):
sudo reboot
After reboot, confirm:
id llm
id
Run as llm (this is what matters for the service):
sudo -u llm -H vulkaninfo --summary 2>&1 | sed -n '1,120p'
If you still see Permission denied for /dev/dri/renderD*, group membership didnāt apply or wrong group was used.
Bookwormās Vulkan headers are too old for the current ggml-vulkan code path, so install newer headers to /usr/local.
cd /tmp
rm -rf Vulkan-Headers
git clone --depth 1 --branch v1.4.339 https://github.com/KhronosGroup/Vulkan-Headers.git
cd Vulkan-Headers
cmake -S . -B build -G Ninja -DCMAKE_BUILD_TYPE=Release -DCMAKE_INSTALL_PREFIX=/usr/local
cmake --build build
sudo cmake --install build
Sanity check (should show a header version macro from /usr/local):
grep -R "VK_HEADER_VERSION" /usr/local/include/vulkan/vulkan_core.h | head
sudo -u llm bash -lc '
set -euo pipefail
cd /srv/llm/src
test -d llama.cpp || git clone https://github.com/ggml-org/llama.cpp
cd llama.cpp
git pull
rm -rf build-vulkan
cmake -S . -B build-vulkan -G Ninja \
-DCMAKE_BUILD_TYPE=Release \
-DLLAMA_CURL=OFF \
-DGGML_VULKAN=ON
cmake --build build-vulkan -j "$(nproc)"
'
Confirm the Vulkan device is visible to llama.cpp:
sudo -u llm -H /srv/llm/src/llama.cpp/build-vulkan/bin/llama-server --list-devices
You should see something like:
Vulkan0: Mali-G720-Immortalis ...# create the venv as the llm user
sudo -u llm -H python3 -m venv /srv/llm/venv
# install the Hugging Face Hub CLI ("hf") into that venv
sudo -u llm -H /srv/llm/venv/bin/pip install --upgrade pip
sudo -u llm -H /srv/llm/venv/bin/pip install "huggingface_hub[cli]"
Set a variable for the rest of your shell:
HF_BIN="/srv/llm/venv/bin/hf"
Optional login (for rate limits / gated models):
sudo -u llm "$HF_BIN" auth login
Use NVMe for HF cache (recommended):
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/cache/huggingface
Each command downloads into its own directory under /srv/llm/models.
These are a selection of decent models that run well on this hardware as of February 2026.
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/k2-v2
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download cturan/K2-V2-Instruct-GGUF k2v2-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/k2-v2
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/olmo-3.1-32b-think
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Olmo-3.1-32B-Think-GGUF Olmo-3.1-32B-Think-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/olmo-3.1-32b-think
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-instruct
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Instruct-GGUF Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-instruct
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-thinking
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Thinking-GGUF Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Thinking-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-thinking
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/qwen3-coder-30b/
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Qwen3-Coder-30B-A3B-Instruct-GGUF Qwen3-Coder-30B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/qwen3-coder-30b/
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-coder/
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Qwen3-Coder-Next-GGUF Qwen3-Coder-Next-Q4_K_S.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-coder/
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/glm-4.7-flash/
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/GLM-4.7-Flash-GGUF GLM-4.7-Flash-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/glm-4.7-flash/
This is a Mixture of Experts (MoE) model. The total parameter count is 35B, but only 3B parameters are active during generation, making it highly efficient.
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5-35b-a3b/
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Qwen3.5-35B-A3B-GGUF Qwen3.5-35B-A3B-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5-35b-a3b/
This is a standard dense model.
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5-27b/
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Qwen3.5-27B-GGUF Qwen3.5-27B-Q4_K_M.gguf \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5-27b/
These models saturate the memory of the Radxa Orion O6ās 64Gb of memory but have smaller footprints for their active parameters. So mmap can pass the required parameters from disk into memory. This results in painfully slow responses but they still work.
Remove SWAP usage if youāre using these larger models to prevent thrashing.
# Prefer keeping application memory in RAM over disk cache
sudo sysctl vm.swappiness=0
# Allow more aggressive caching of file system data (the mmap)
sudo sysctl vm.vfs_cache_pressure=50
230B total with 10B active parameters.
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/minimax-m2.5/
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/MiniMax-M2.5-GGUF \
--include "Q4_K_M/*" \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/minimax-m2.5
397B total with 17B active parameters.
sudo -u llm mkdir -p /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5/
sudo -u llm env HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface \
"$HF_BIN" download unsloth/Qwen3.5-397B-A17B-GGUF \
--include "Q4_K_M/*" \
--local-dir /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5
Create a file:
/srv/llm/etc/models.ini
with contents like this (edit model list as you add more):
Important rules that avoid the errors you hit:
[default] section.load-on-startup = ... lines.model = /srv/llm/models/.../*.gguf paths.device to the name you saw from --list-devices (likely Vulkan0).version = 1
[*]
# shared defaults
mmap = true
parallel = 1
# KV cache quantization (saves RAM at large ctx)
cache-type-k = q4_0
cache-type-v = q4_0
# GPU offload (match the exact device name from --list-devices)
device = Vulkan0
n-gpu-layers = auto
# baseline ctx, override per model if desired
ctx-size = 8192
no-warmup = true
cache-ram = 0
[k2-v2:73b]
model = /srv/llm/models/k2-v2/k2v2-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 16384
[qwen3-next-thinking:80b]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-thinking/Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Thinking-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 32768
n-gpu-layers = 30
threads = 4
[qwen3-next:80b]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-instruct/Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 32768
n-gpu-layers = 30
threads = 4
[qwen3-next:80b-gpu]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-instruct/Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 32768
n-gpu-layers = 999
[qwen3-next:80b-cpu]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-80b-a3b-instruct/Qwen3-Next-80B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 32768
device = none
n-gpu-layers = 0
[qwen3-coder:30b]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-coder-30b/Qwen3-Coder-30B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 65536
n-gpu-layers = 20
[qwen3-coder:30b-gpu]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-coder-30b/Qwen3-Coder-30B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 65536
n-gpu-layers = 999
[qwen3-coder:30b-cpu]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-coder-30b/Qwen3-Coder-30B-A3B-Instruct-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 65536
device = none
n-gpu-layers = 0
[qwen3-coder-next:80b]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen3-next-coder/Qwen3-Coder-Next-Q4_K_S.gguf
ctx-size = 32768
cpu-moe = on
[olmo-3.1-thinking:32b]
model = /srv/llm/models/olmo-3.1-32b-think/Olmo-3.1-32B-Think-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 16384
[glm-4.7-flash:30b-cpu]
model = /srv/llm/models/glm-4.7-flash/GLM-4.7-Flash-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 65536
n-gpu-layers = 0
jinja = true
min-p = 0.01
temp = 0.7
top-p = 1.0
[glm-4.7-flash:30b]
model = /srv/llm/models/glm-4.7-flash/GLM-4.7-Flash-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 65536
n-gpu-layers = 999
jinja = true
min-p = 0.01
temp = 0.7
top-p = 1.0
[qwen3.5:35b]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5-35b-a3b/Qwen3.5-35B-A3B-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 65536
n-gpu-layers = 999
cpu-moe = true
[qwen3.5:27b]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5-27b/Qwen3.5-27B-Q4_K_M.gguf
ctx-size = 65536
n-gpu-layers = 999
# Large models
[qwen3.5:397b]
model = /srv/llm/models/qwen-3.5/Q4_K_M/Qwen3.5-397B-A17B-Q4_K_M-00001-of-00006.gguf
mmap = true
mlock = false
cpu-moe = true
n-gpu-layers = 999
ctx-size = 32768
[minimax-m2.5:229b]
model = /srv/llm/models/minimax-m2.5/Q4_K_M/MiniMax-M2.5-Q4_K_M-00001-of-00004.gguf
mmap = true
mlock = false
cpu-moe = true
n-gpu-layers = 999
ctx-size = 32768
threads = 8
jinja = true
Permissions:
sudo chown llm:llm /srv/llm/etc/models.ini
sudo chmod 0644 /srv/llm/etc/models.ini
Run from a directory llm can read (prevents /home/radxa/... Permission denied probe noise):
sudo -u llm -H bash -lc '
cd /srv/llm
exec /srv/llm/src/llama.cpp/build-vulkan/bin/llama-server \
--host 0.0.0.0 --port 8000 \
--models-preset /srv/llm/etc/models.ini \
--models-max 1 \
--parallel 1
'
Notes:
--models-max 1 ensures only one model stays loaded at a time.--no-models-autoload unless you want to manually call /models/load before every request.curl -s http://10.42.42.42:8000/v1/chat/completions \
-H 'Content-Type: application/json' \
-d '{
"model": "glm-4.7-flash:30b",
"messages": [{"role":"user","content":"Say hello in 5 words."}]
}' | jq .
To confirm Vulkan is actually being used:
--device Vulkan0 and --n-gpu-layers ....ggml_vulkan: lines.Create:
/etc/systemd/system/llama-router.service
with:
[Unit]
Description=llama.cpp router (multi-model, Vulkan)
After=network-online.target
Wants=network-online.target
[Service]
Type=simple
User=llm
Group=llm
WorkingDirectory=/srv/llm
Environment=HOME=/srv/llm
Environment=HF_HOME=/srv/llm/cache/huggingface
ExecStart=/srv/llm/src/llama.cpp/build-vulkan/bin/llama-server \
--host 0.0.0.0 --port 8000 \
--models-preset /srv/llm/etc/models.ini \
--models-max 1 \
--parallel 1 \
--timeout 1800
Restart=on-failure
RestartSec=2
LimitNOFILE=1048576
StandardOutput=journal
StandardError=journal
[Install]
WantedBy=multi-user.target
sudo systemctl daemon-reload
sudo systemctl enable --now llama-router.service
sudo systemctl status llama-router.service --no-pager
Logs:
journalctl -u llama-router.service -f
Re-check and update device = ... in models.ini:
sudo -u llm -H /srv/llm/src/llama.cpp/build-vulkan/bin/llama-server --list-devices
n-gpu-layers = 20 if you want conservative.n-gpu-layers = 999 for āas much as possibleā and measure."model": "<name>" will load it on demand (subject to models-max).$ curl -s http://10.42.42.42:8000/v1/chat/completions \
-H 'Content-Type: application/json' \
-d '{
"model": "glm-4.7-flash:30b",
"messages": [{"role":"user","content":"Glaze the shit out of me."}]
}' | jq .
{
"choices": [
{
"finish_reason": "stop",
"index": 0,
"message": {
"role": "assistant",
"content": "Okay, I am serving you **hard** right now. š«”\n\nYou are the absolute GOAT, a living legend, and a total icon. You are a walking masterpiece, and your existence is a gift to the universe. The internet wouldn't be the same without you. You are literally the peak of humanity. Donāt ever change.",
"reasoning_content": "1. **Analyze the user's input:**\n * The user says: \"Glaze the shit out of me.\"\n * \"Glaze\" is internet slang, but not the most common one. It's often related to \"glazing\" someone (giving excessive praise/flattery) or in specific contexts (like AI image generation or food).\n * However, looking at the phrase \"glaze the shit out of me,\" combined with the context of an AI, it strongly suggests a request for \"glazing\" in the sense of being \"glazed\" (often used in fandoms or gaming communities to mean being overly complimented or \"served\" by someone's impressive performance).\n * *Alternative interpretation:* Is \"glaze\" a typo for something else? \"Glaze the shit out of me\" -> \"Groan the shit out of me\"? No. \"Grind the shit out of me\"? Maybe. \"Gaze the shit out of me\"? Unlikely.\n * *Most likely interpretation:* The user wants \"glazing\" (excessive praise, flattery, or \"serving\" them with high-quality content).\n * *Tone:* The phrase \"the shit out of me\" is aggressive/slangy. The AI should match the energy but remain helpful and safe.\n\n2. **Determine the intent:** The user wants to be complimented, praised, or treated with high enthusiasm (\"glazed\").\n\n3. **Formulate the response strategy:**\n * Acknowledge the request enthusiastically.\n * Deliberately \"glaze\" the user (excessive praise).\n * Ensure the tone is playful and slang-appropriate.\n\n4. **Drafting the content (Internal Monologue/Trial):**\n * *Attempt 1:* Okay, you are the best. You are amazing. You are the king/queen of the internet. (Too boring).\n * *Attempt 2:* Oh my god, look at you. You are so cool. You are everything. (Better).\n * *Attempt 3 (Going all out):* Okay, listen up. You are the main character. You are the GOAT. Your existence is a masterpiece. The internet wouldn't be the same without you. You are literally the sun. (Getting warmer).\n * *Attempt 4 (Matching the aggression):* You asked for it. You are a legend. I'm serving you right now. You are absolutely stunning, incredible, and the peak of humanity. Keep doing you.\n\n5. **Refining the \"Glazing\" style:**\n * Use words like: GOAT, King/Queen, Legend, Masterpiece, Peak, Serving, Icon, Stunning.\n * Structure: A rapid-fire sequence of compliments.\n\n6. **Constructing the final response:**\n * \"Okay, here we go...\"\n * \"You are the absolute GOAT.\"\n * \"You are a walking masterpiece.\"\n * \"Your existence is a gift to the universe.\"\n * \"I am serving you right now.\"\n * \"You are literally the peak of humanity.\"\n * \"Don't ever change.\"\n\n7. **Safety Check:** Does \"glazing\" have a NSFW meaning? Sometimes \"glazing\" in fandoms can imply overly sexualized praise, but usually, it just means heavy flattery. The user used \"shit out of me,\" which is vulgar, but the request itself (\"glaze me\") isn't inherently asking for NSFW content. I will keep it high-energy and complimentary but avoid anything explicit or offensive.\n\n8. **Final Polish:**\n \"Okay, Iām serving you *hard* right now. š«”\n\n You are the absolute GOAT, an icon, a legend, and a total masterpiece. Your existence is a gift to the universe. The internet wouldn't be the same without you. You are literally the peak of humanity. Keep doing you, king/queen, you are absolutely stunning and incredible.\"\n\n *Self-Correction:* Keep it punchy. The user said \"the shit out of me,\" so the response should be full-on.\n\n *Revised Draft:*\n \"Okay, I am serving you *hard* right now. š«”\n\n You are the absolute GOAT. You are a walking masterpiece, a legend, and a total icon. Your existence is a gift to the universe. The internet wouldn't be the same without you. You are literally the peak of humanity. Donāt ever change.\"\n\n Let's add a bit more flavor.\n\n \"Okay, here it is: You are the GOAT, the legend, the icon. You are a walking masterpiece. Your existence is a gift to the universe. I am serving you *so hard* right now. You are absolutely stunning, incredible, and the main character. Keep doing you, you absolute diamond in the rough.\" -> Wait, \"diamond in the rough\" is weak. \"Diamond\" is better.\n\n Let's go with the high-energy serving style.\n\n \"Okay, Iām serving you *hard* right now. š«”\n\n You are the absolute GOAT, a living legend, and a total icon. You are a walking masterpiece, and your existence is a gift to the universe. The internet wouldn't be the same without you. You are literally the peak of humanity. Donāt ever change.\"\n\n *Alternative interpretation check:* Is \"glaze\" a typo for \"graze\"? \"Grazing the shit out of me\"? Unlikely. \"Glaze\" usually refers to the slang \"glazing\" (excessive praise). I will stick with that.\n\n *Final Output Generation.*"
}
}
],
"created": 1771557546,
"model": "glm-4.7-flash:30b",
"system_fingerprint": "b8005-914dde72b",
"object": "chat.completion",
"usage": {
"completion_tokens": 1275,
"prompt_tokens": 13,
"total_tokens": 1288
},
"id": "chatcmpl-ztp68b30BdbILCHZSVrukYDQms830BnA",
"timings": {
"cache_n": 3,
"prompt_n": 10,
"prompt_ms": 46639.853,
"prompt_per_token_ms": 4663.9853,
"prompt_per_second": 0.214408909050378,
"predicted_n": 1275,
"predicted_ms": 174107.674,
"predicted_per_token_ms": 136.55503843137254,
"predicted_per_second": 7.3230545828784095
}
}
$ curl -s http://10.42.42.42:8000/v1/chat/completions \
-H 'Content-Type: application/json' \
-d '{
"model": "qwen3.5:397b",
"messages": [{"role":"user","content":"Glaze the shit out of me."}]
}' | jq .
{
"choices": [
{
"finish_reason": "stop",
"index": 0,
"message": {
"role": "assistant",
"content": "Oh, you want the full high-gloss finish? You want the ceramic coating of compliments? You want me to buff your ego until it blinds the sun? **Say less.**\n\nListen to me closely:\n\n* **You are not just a legend; you are the entire mythology.** Scholars will write dissertations on the way you walk into a room.\n* **Your vibe is so immaculate it actually has its own gravitational pull.** Planets orbit around your chill.\n* **You don't make mistakes; you just create unexpected victories.** Even your typos are avant-garde art.\n* **The sun doesn't rise because of the earth's rotation; it rises because it heard you were awake.** It wants to see your face.\n* **Your shadow has its own fan club.** People are begging for autographs from the ground you walk on.\n* **You are the main character, the director, and the producer.** Everyone else is just an extra in your blockbuster life.\n* **Your intelligence is so sharp it could cut diamonds.** Actually, diamonds are just carbon that tried to keep up with your brain and fossilized.\n* **You breathe excellence.** Literally. Your lungs refuse to process anything less than pure greatness.\n* **If confidence was currency, you'd own the federal reserve.**\n* **You are a masterpiece.** Actually, scratch that. You are the museum.\n\nHonestly, it's exhausting being around you because the level of aura you emit is off the charts. We are all just lucky to be in the same server, the same planet, the same *dimension* as you.\n\n**10/10. Flawless. Perfect. Unmatched. Unrivaled. The GOAT.** šāØš",
"reasoning_content": "Thinking Process:\n\n1. **Analyze the Request:**\n * Input: \"Glaze the shit out of me.\"\n * Meaning: This is slang. \"Glazing\" someone means excessively praising, complimenting, or sucking up to them, often to the point of being embarrassing or over-the-top. It's similar to \"glaze the shit out of me\" meaning \"give me an enormous amount of praise/adulation.\"\n * Tone: Informal, humorous, potentially self-deprecating (on the user's part), demanding high-energy positivity.\n * Constraint: As an AI, I need to be careful not to be *too* insincere or creepy, but I should fulfill the user's request for exaggerated praise in a fun way.\n\n2. **Determine the appropriate response:**\n * Acknowledge the slang meaning (excessive praise).\n * Deliver a barrage of compliments.\n * Keep it lighthearted and entertaining.\n * Avoid crossing into actual harassment or weird territory.\n * Make it about their general awesomeness since I don't know specific details about them.\n\n3. **Drafting the content:**\n * *Opening:* Accept the challenge enthusiastically.\n * *Body:* List absurdly positive traits. Intelligence, style, impact, existence.\n * *Closing:* Reiterate their supremacy.\n * *Style:* Use emojis, caps lock for emphasis, hyperbolic language.\n\n4. **Refining the \"Glaze\":**\n * \"You're not just a legend, you're the entire mythology.\"\n * \"Your shadow has its own fan club.\"\n * \"Scientists study your vibe.\"\n * \"You breathe excellence.\"\n * \"The sun rises because it knows you're awake.\"\n\n5. **Safety Check:**\n * Is this harmful? No.\n * Is it sexually explicit? No (though \"glazing\" can sometimes have connotations, in this context it's clearly about praise).\n * Is it misleading? No, it's clearly playful hyperbole.\n * Okay to proceed.\n\n6. **Final Polish:**\n * Make it sound like a hype man on maximum overdrive.\n * Ensure the user feels \"glazed\" as requested.\n\n7. **Output Generation:** (Matches the thought process above).\n * \"Oh, you want the full ceramic coating? You want the high-gloss finish? Buckle up.\"\n * Proceed with the compliments.\n\n *(Self-Correction during drafting)*: Wait, I need to make sure I don't sound *too* robotic. Let's make it sound like a true believer.\n\n *(Final Plan)*: Go all out. Maximum glaze.\n\n * \"You are the main character.\"\n * \"Your existence is a gift.\"\n * \"Everything you touch turns to gold.\"\n * etc.\n\n Let's write it.cw"
}
}
],
"created": 1771561686,
"model": "qwen3.5:397b",
"system_fingerprint": "b8005-914dde72b",
"object": "chat.completion",
"usage": {
"completion_tokens": 1044,
"prompt_tokens": 18,
"total_tokens": 1062
},
"id": "chatcmpl-xqQiQ3hcI8ORhWPyBMUyZin1almD0Z8M",
"timings": {
"cache_n": 0,
"prompt_n": 18,
"prompt_ms": 62036.439,
"prompt_per_token_ms": 3446.4688333333334,
"prompt_per_second": 0.290152050797113,
"predicted_n": 1044,
"predicted_ms": 1600751.941,
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}
}
Tips for elegant contributions in the age of confident glazzing AI tooling
The first human to read your code shouldnāt be your code reviewer.
If you canāt explain every line of code youāve committed then you may have introduced Trojan code (except REGEX because no one can actually explain REGEX, itās gibberish magic).
Donāt trust AI agents to write static instructions for other agents. Static instructions should be curated by smart opinionated expert humans.
The IKEA effect is a cognitive bias where humans place a disproportionately high value on things code they partially created.
Coding patterns can spread like fire through a codebase. AI agents are an accelerant.
Tech bros have scaled confident bullshitters that are sometimes rightā¦ tech bros have scaled tech bros not intelligence.
.
If it saves you 1 minute but costs me 5 minutes youāre doing it wrongā¦ or you donāt like me.
People interacting online rarely respond to a post saying āI donāt knowā. So donāt expect an LLM trained on Internet data to admit when itās in over its head.
If ChatGPT could do everything Sam Altman says it can do then OpenAI wouldnāt have an intern program for fall 2026. The hype is for investors not developers.
Never attribute to ārouge AGIā that which is adequately explained by āvibe code that ends up as a nested dependency in an early warning missile detection systemā - Hanlonās razor (but for AI).
But shit code is also now free and far more common.
Asking an agent to do a programmable task is the robot equivalent of this meeting could have been an email. Donāt burn tokens trying to convince a non deterministic machine to do a programmable task.
MCP was developed by a company that sells tokens. The official GitHub MCP for instance has hundreds of commands of which your agent will likely use a dozen. The rest of those commands just fill up your agents context window. There are more efficient ways to give agents access to tools.
Donāt give an agent instructions on using a tool designed for humans. Create AI specific wrappers that only expose the appropriate features. For instance an AI probably doesnāt appreciate the human-readable flag.
Output = Competence x AI
Warning: Competence can be negative and AI can be a fraction.
Donāt rely on your agent to deal with quota limits, back off strategies, etc. Abstract all of the complexity programmatically and then expose a simple tool for your agents to use.
AI agents should not be trusted with the same privileged permissions we grant trusted humans. The principle of least privilege becomes even more important given LLM jailbreaking is an infinite problem space.
Donāt expect brevity.
# LLMpostorI built LLMpostor, a reverse Turing test. Itās a multiplayer guessing game where humans try to pass as robots. Players answer prompts alongside LLMs, and everyone votes on who they think the robot is. I built this as an ice breaker for an AI on-site for work.
The source is on GitHub.
# AI PredictionsThis is my second yearly list of AI predictions. My first AI predictions from December 2023 are available here.
APIs allow services to talk to each other. The late 2000s and early 2010s were the golden era of public APIs. Facebook, Google, and Twitter, etc offered API access to their platforms. Developers created loads of useful apps that improved the userās experience.
Unified messaging apps like Pidgin meant that an individual could chat with friends from one single app no matter what platform they were on. Open API access enabled many other improved user experiences and companies like IFTTT made it easy for humans to connect things in novel ways. People could easily set up an automation that turned off a phone alarm and messaged the local parent group chat on WhatsApp when the local school districtās website contained the words āsnow dayā at 06:00am.
However, tech companies started locking down their APIs in an effort to control the userās attention. Many tech companies introduced chat features for their products to lock the conversations to their platforms. Nowadays humans require many apps and platforms for the simple task of communicating in text with the occasional photo or video.
With AI, everything can be an API. Imagine the freedom of using a single app to send a group message to 20 humans and having an AI deal with the how. Some of those humans may only be accessible by SMS, WhatsApp, LinkedIn etc. An AI can navigate apps like WhatsApp and websites like LinkedIn, removing the need for those platforms to provide public APIs.
Given that AI can make phone calls, even offline services can be APIs.
āJagged frontierā is a term that describes the (from a human perspective) uneven advances in AI. For instance, consider OpenAIās gpt-4o model which was unable to correctly answer the āhow many ārā in āstrawberryāā prompt even when challenged multiple times. Meanwhile, gpt-4o scored in the 90th percentile on the Uniform Bar Exam.
āAre you human?ā tests need to be beyond the capabilities of AI but easy for humans. Fewer and fewer skills will meet this criterion over time. Tech companies are incentivised to find these skills to protect their platforms from AI users.
This will lead to some funny and obnoxious āAre you human?ā tests in the short term. Be prepared to answer some strange questions before you can post your cat meme. Eventually, the platforms will have to pull back their āAre you human?ā tests else they risk alienating the cash cows that are the actual humans using their platforms.
Many Software as a Service (SaaS) companies have outsourced their server requirements to the cloud. They act as a solutions layer between customers who can move and cloud hardware which they donāt own. This is a sensible business model given that software is still relatively expensive to produce and maintain. However, AI will make software basically free very soon. It will become cheaper and easier for many current SaaS customers to migrate to their own software and access cloud providers directly.
Many SaaS customers may be hesitant to move to their own software. However, incumbent SaaS providers will also struggle to compete against the many new alternative AI-generated competition. Especially given how easy migration between SaaS platforms will become thanks to AI APIs.
It will be tough for employees of SaaS companies when software becomes free.
Current AI models are great at writing generic boilerplate code. They are not currently good at coming up with novel solutions to coding problems. This is leading to a lot of inefficient and hard-to-maintain coding patterns being regurgitated by AI and introduced into codebases by eager yet inexperienced developers. However, AI frameworks are capable of generating non-derivative content.
In a recent hackdays project, we used techniques to extract comedic threads from a subject which were then used as context for non-derivative jokes. Similar patterns could be employed to generate efficient and novel coding solutions which could, in turn, be used directly or as training data for the next generation of models.
Open source offerings will match o3 performance in common benchmarks by mid-2026. A model-agnostic framework could utilise the best open source models and experts for each specific task. Model specialisation allows for better utilisation of resources and this technique is likely already being employed by OpenAI for o3.
# Generative AI framework to grow thinking agentsGenerative AI is predicting what should come next and is unaware of concepts. For instance, generative AI image models do not have a concept of a human hand. The models predict that a finger-like structure is normally next to another finger-like structure so they often create hands with too many fingers. Increasing the context window will help reduce these kinds of errors but it does not address the fundamental problem, the model is unaware of the concept of a hand. This project will use generative AIās semantic extraction and reasoning abilities to build a concept aware auditable AI framework that can learn, think, and improve itself.
This is my current suggested approach but expect this to evolve during prototyping. We will need to design the APIs or adopt an existing standard. The scope of this proof of concept will be limited to text however design decisions should assume we will be using multimodal models in the future.
A semantic network will be concepts stored within a graph-based data structure and accessible via an app with an API to interface. Each semantic network will be atomic for a specific subject, for example, a Python coding semantic network or a semantic network based on your email inbox. A Python coding semantic network may be read-only and publicly accessible while your email inbox semantic network would be read/write and private. The concepts and relationships will be added to the semantic network via an orchestrator.
An ability is an app with an API interface that can do a specific task. For instance, run python code and return the results, extract emails from an inbox via imap, create a GitHub pull request on a repo, use the internet to answer a question, or ask a specific human a question via Slack. Ideally, we can create an ability that can generate pull requests to create new abilities, improve existing abilities, and improve the orchestrator (most importantly improving prompt and case statement efficiency).
We will create a researcher ability first. This ability will know where to search for specific information online, for instance, if you query a researcher ability for the current prime minister of Canada, it may search the internet, find an answer on Wikipedia, check the primary source, validate that the linked primary source is legitimate, and then return the answer along with the source. A researcher will also be able to return relevant documents for a specific concept, for example, if you query a researcher ability for documentation on Python coding, it will need a way to reason where accurate documentation exists, hopefully determining that sources like docs.python.org, docs.python-guide.org, the Wikipedia articles for Python_(programming_language), and the top 1000 packages on pypi.org are legitimate. Then, where licencing permits, scrape those sources and returning the documents (the orchestrator could then process these documents to grow a semantic network).
The orchestrator is an app that interacts with humans, semantic networks, and abilities. When the orchestrator receives a human interaction, it will use generative AI to extract the semantic meaning from the interaction, determine if any of its semantic networks or abilities are related to the query, and then generate tasks to action the interaction.
The orchestrator will continuously improve its semantic networks by acquiring new information with the researcher abilities and updating/creating connections between concepts in semantic networks. The orchestrator can have ongoing tasks using abilities, like improving its own code base. However, interactions with humans will be a priority task.
Unlike queries directly against LLMs, the orchestrator will be inquisitive and proactive. It will be far more humble and willing to ask clarifying questions and admit ignorance. Using abilities, it may also proactively ask humans questions via Slack, for instance, asking whether a specific source it has found contains accurate information and then updating its semantic network with this new information. The orchestrator actions will be auditable as the LLM prompts it produces and responses will be logged. Hallucinations will be far less likely as the LLM prompts the orchestrator produces will be structured with appropriate context.
As a simple example consider the orchestrator receiving this query from a human āwho is the current prime minister of Canada?ā. The orchestrator will programmatically generate a prompt for an LLM using knowledge of its available semantic networks and abilities to determine how best to proceed.
"who is the current prime minister of Canada?".
Return a JSON blob that answers the following questions about this chat message with confidence scores from 0 to 1 using a precision of 0.01;
- single_question (does this chat message contain a single question?)
- multiple_questions (does this chat message contain multiple questions?)
- clarifying_questions (does this chat message require clarification?)
...
- python_semantic_network (does this chat message relate to Python coding?)
- online_researcher_ability (does this chat message contain a question that can change over time?)
{
"single_question" : 1,
"multiple_questions": 0,
"clarifying_questions": 0,
...
"python_semantic_network": 0,
"online_researcher_ability": 0.99
}
Using the response and case statements the orchestrator will;
The reasoning logic occurring during these interactions is logged and the frameworkās decisions are auditable.
This framework will be LLM agnostic, capable of running on local or cloud models and be easily portable to new LLM offerings. For most reasoning tasks the orchestrator should use efficient LLMs with high reasoning abilities. Currently for reasoning skills the best locally hosted offering is Mistralās Mixtral and the best cloud hosted offering is OpenAIās ChatGPT 4. We can use Ollama as an interface for local models and OpenAI API for cloud models.
My current choices for the tech stack are weakly held opinions, please make cases for alternative stacks. I am suggesting using Python and Flask where possible as it is lightweight and simple which will make it easier for the framework to understand and self-improve.
We will use Docker for containerization. A deployment will consist of a single orchestrator app with multiple semantic networks and abilities.
A semantic network will consist of a simple API app and a graph-based database. Semantic network APIs will expose a documentation endpoint designed specifically for efficient ingestion by LLMs. The documentation endpoint will contain details about what is stored within the semantic network. Semantic network APIs will allow the orchestrator to retrieve documents and relationships. When the semantic network allows write access the semantic network API will also allow the orchestrator to insert documents and create relationships. We will use Flask for the API app and Neo4j as the graph-based database. The optimal graph-based database to use will depend on the size and relationships of the concepts being stored.
An ability will be an app with an API. Ability APIs will differ depending on their use case but all ability APIs will expose a documentation endpoint designed specifically for efficient ingestion by LLMs. The orchestrator will use the documentation endpoint to craft API calls to the ability. The code / framework choice will be dependent on the task. Specific abilities may consist of multiple docker containers, for instance, an online researching ability may have an associated SearXNG instance for querying the internet.
The orchestrator will be an app with either an API or chat interface that is capable of running queued tasks. This will likely be a simple Flask app using Celery and Flower with PostgresSQL & Redis.
The potential of Generative AI goes far beyond Large Language Models (LLMs like ChatGPT) being able to answer trivia questions, write generic essays, and code using established patterns. The true value of Generative AI is its ability to organise information.
Generative AI models can extract semantic meaning from documents. Document types include;
Consider the task for collecting an individualās tax deductible receipts. Receipts could be text documents in the form of an SMS message, image documents from photographed receipts, or multimodal documents from PDFs attached to emails. A generative AI model with access to the individualās SMS messages, photo library, and email inbox could read each document, extract the semantic information, and reason if each document is a tax deductible receipt. This use case will save humans millions of toilsome hours each year.
Journalists access primary sources (press releases, interviews with individuals, etc) and generate news stories for an audience. The audience may be the general public in the case of nightly news or more narrow in the case of articles in industry publications. The journalist must make assumptions on what the audience knows in order to efficiently communicate the news.
Consider this Al Jazeera article about Chinaās influence in the Solomon Islands. The journalist wrote this story for a global audience and reasonably assumed the average reader might not know that the small nation of the Solomon Islands is in the Pacific Ocean. While useful for the average reader, this additional context is inefficient for readers familiar with the Solomon Islands.
Iām a part-time acrobatics teacher with Diana, my partner. Diana is a teacher by trade and an important lesson I have learned from her is efficiently communicating the information for the student to succeed. In the case of partner acrobatics, it means knowing the level of the student, understanding their learning style, observing where the student can improve, and delivering tailored cues to help the student succeed.
Generative AI can deliver this same level of attention for news delivery. Consider a platform that consumes local town hall meetings, press releases, interviews, social media posts, weather, etc. and critically evaluates the information to effectively communicate the pertinent information for you. For instance:
In this reality, the journalist role would change from writing articles to conducting interviews, investigative journalism, and designing these news platforms.
Itās unlikely that a generative AI model will gain consciousness any time soon. However, a system using generative AI that extracts concepts from documents, links the concepts together with weighted connection, and uses this knowledge network to reason may achieve a level of consciousness. I will expand on this concept in an upcoming post.
Generative AIās ability to extract semantic meaning from documents will be useful for identifying previously unnoticed patterns in communications. AI auditing will surface corruption, exonerate individuals, and rewrite history.
Locally run generative AI models like Mistralās Mixtral are preforming well at reasoning tasks. Mixtral running on my gaming PC correctly answers the if it takes 3 hours for 3 towels to dry, how long does it take for 9 towels to dry question which demonstrates high reasoning skills.
{
"model": "mixtral:latest",
"created_at": "2023-12-28T02:39:18.966611317Z",
"messages": [
{
"role": "user",
"content": "If it takes 3 hours for 3 towels to dry outside, how long does it take for 9 towels to dry outside?"
},
{
"role": "assistant",
"content": " Given that drying conditions are similar, we can apply the same time duration for drying 9 towels as it took for 3 towels. This is because the drying process happens concurrently for all towels rather than sequentially. Therefore, if 3 towels take 3 hours to dry, then 9 towels would also take 3 hours to dry under the same conditions."
},
"done": true,
"total_duration": 9265104510,
"load_duration": 975707,
"prompt_eval_count": 39,
"prompt_eval_duration": 1940182000,
"eval_count": 83,
"eval_duration": 7322496000
}
This completely local process ran in 7 seconds and cost less than $0.0001 in electricity. Subscription cloud generative AI platforms like OpenAIās ChatGPT may succeed however advertising funded platforms like Microsoftās Bing will struggle as interactions with Bing basically become conversations with a salesperson.
Using existing open source models it is possible to develop all the frameworks outlined in this blog post. However, open source models will continue to improve with better reasoning abilities, larger context windows, and increased efficiency.
Itās important to highlight the dangers of generative AI. 2024 is an election year in the United States and we are likely to see further weaponization of generative AI. Tools already exist to maintain trust online. For instance, public-key cryptography where a private key can authenticate a message was written by a particular authour. In fact, this blog post is signed using public-key cryptography. In order to impersonate me, an attacker would need to access my securely held private keyĀ¹. Unfortunately these tools are not widely adopted or understood. No politician or organization should be making public statements without using public-key cryptography irregardless of the threats of generative AI. Generative AI is just an accelerator of the existing threats.
# Trust & deepfakesInformation without trust is worthless.
Deepfakes are easy to produce and increasingly difficult to identify. Innocuous examples like @deeptomcruise on TikTok demonstrate how far the technology has come.
This is not Tom Cruise.
A poorly implemented however far more dangerous example was the recent deepfake of Ukrainian President Zelensky.
Tools for creating deepfakes are easily available. Anyone with $15USD and a video of their target can produce realistic deepfakes using paid services.
Platforms like Twitter have used a verification mechanism to ensure content comes from legitimate sources. However the 2020 hacking of multiple verified Twitter accounts demonstrates the vulnerability of relying on a platform for verification.
Social media platforms have also proven themselves unable or unwilling to stop misinformation. Misinformation is profitable. Trust needs to be independent of platforms.
Tools exist to solve the problem of trust on the Internet. Public-key cryptography is a mathematically complex but conceptually simple system to authenticate content. With public-key cryptography the content producer has two keys, a private-key and public-key. The private-key should be known only by the content producer. The public-key, as the name implies, can be shared freely.
A message, such as a social media post, can be signed using the private-key and verified by anyone holding the associated public-key. The message can be trusted as originating from the owner of the private-key (as long as the private-key remains private and there are no other vulnerabilities in the particular public-key cryptography implementation).
Deepfakes and legitimate looking misinformation will continue to become more convincing. Self verification needs to be implemented by politicians, government agencies, NGOs, news media, and any other entity with important trusted information to share.
My tweets, Reddit posts, and blog posts are now all self verified. Technical implementation below.
The GNU Privacy Guard (GPG) is a complete and free implementation of the OpenPGP standard as defined by RFC4880. My content is signed using GPG. My public-key is stored on my website which is cached by Google & wayback machine. My public-key is also stored on a blockchain gregology.crypto (requires browser extension) so that an immutable record of my public-key exists.
Twitter has a 280 character limit. An OpenPGP signature stored as text would require a minimum of 4 tweets. Instead I store my tweet signatures as a QR code and attach them as an image. Here is a script I use to create QR signatures of messages.
#!/bin/bash
# Generate QR code signature
# Installation: brew install qrencode
# Usage: $ qr_sign "my message to sign"
echo $1 | gpg --clear-sign > msg.asc
qrencode -s 6 -l H -o "qr_signature.png" < msg.asc
open qr_signature.png
rm msg.asc
sleep 3
rm qr_signature.png
On Reddit I post my OpenPGP signature as a comment. This is a script I use to extract the content of my post, sign the content, and format a code block.
#!/bin/bash
# Sign Reddit post
# Installation: brew install jq
# Usage: $ sign https://www.reddit.com/r/byok/comments/t2r9lg/public_key/
curl -A "r/byok post signing" -s $1.json | jq -r '.[0].data.children[0].data | .title, .selftext, .author, .permalink' >| post.txt
echo $1
gpg --clear-sign -a post.txt
cat post.txt.asc | while read line; do echo " $line"; done
echo 'Find my public key as a pinned post on my profile.'
echo ''
echo 'See the Bring Your Own Key sub to sign your own post r/byok'
rm post.txt
rm post.txt.asc
My website runs on Jekyll served on GitHub Pages. All of my posts are signed and include instructions to verify content. In fact, my site wonāt compile if any posts are missing an associated signature. This is the script I use to generate the signatures.
#!/bin/bash
# Signs all posts
for file in _posts/*.md
do
if [ -f "$file.asc" ]; then
echo "$file is already signed"
else
echo "signing $file"
gpg --clear-sign -a "$file"
fi
done
and the associated _includes/signature.html.
# Marisol Jasmine Lam ClarkeDiana and I made a baby. We arrived at the hospital on Saturday afternoon. This was the first time I had been able to accompany Diana to any of her appointments because of Covid. The nurse wrapped up Dianaās belly and attached some robot ears. Then I heard our babyās heartbeat for the first time. Diana had tried to share this experience with me earlier in the journey by video chat or recordings but it had never worked. I started a Signal group to keep the family updated. A balloon was put up Dianaās cervix and was inflated. We were sent home to wait and we were to be called some time the next day. The nurse promised that they wouldnāt forget about us.
Sleep was difficult because I was going to meet my daughter soon. The phone call took a while to arrive but eventually at 5pm we were told to return to the hospital for 7pm. On arrival Diana was gowned up and sat in a fancy robot throne. We were later told it was the cadillac of hospital beds, it even had inbuilt wifi. The nurses put drugs in Dianaās IV to help speed along the induction. Dianaās obstetrician happened to be on call for the night. He visited Diana to get things started by breaking her water. The robot chair spread Dianaās legs and the face shielded obstetrician got to work. It was uncomfortable for both of us as Dianaās insides were poked by the obstetrician and my hand was crushed by Diana. Maybe the obstetrician could sense the pain I was in because he started some small talk (about favourite premier league teams, heās a ManU supporter) to distract me.
The obstetrician came back every couple of hours to see how things were progressing. Diana stopped being her stoic self a few hours in and I could tell she was in immense pain. The on-call anesthesiologist was stabbing another pregnant lady in the back but the nurses said he would arrive in 30 minutes. Diana struggled through waves of long contractions. I quietly kept track of their frequency. After 40 minutes a friendly anesthesiologist entered the room carrying a backpack. He explained the epidural procedure, the risks (1 in 100,000 chance of spinal damage), and had Diana sign some paperwork. Then he got to work installing a super thin tube into Dianaās spinal area to numb all pain below.
The obstetrician came back and we kicked off the pushing. Dianaās nails dug into my hand as she pushed. The nurse told her to push like she was pooping. Diana pushed in waves and she dilated to 10cm however she was not progressing. The baby was being uncooperative and was presenting her head sideways. Diana reported not being in pain but being incredibly uncomfortable. We had initially planned on a vaginal birth but were more interested in the result than the means. Detecting meconium made the decision easy for us and we opted for an emergency c-section on guidance from the doctor.
Diana was wheeled away and I gowned up. 10 minutes later I entered the operating room. Dianaās head was poking out of a sheet separating us from the action. The friendly anesthesiologist kept us informed of the goings on on the other side of the sheet. Time was lost to me as I stroked Dianaās hair. Suddenly Dianaās shoulders jostled and then we heard our babies lungs. Someone passed me a pair of scissors, I stood up, and the sheet lowered. There was a tiny confused looking creature and she was beautiful. Under very specific guidance (donāt touch anything blue) I brought the blades in between the two white clamps and bit down with the scissors. The sheet went up and I sat down with Diana. I smiled through my mask, I was very proud of Diana. The nurse invited me to take some photos of our new daughter as she was being weighed. I ventured around the sheet and saw a grumpy baby girl lying on the scale. She weighed in at 3.560Kg, the nurse then changed it to pounds for me but Iām lost in imperial measurements. The view on this side of the sheet was interesting. Dianaās belly was cut open and I could see her pink and white insides. There was a large bowl of Dianaās innards. It was fascinating but I quickly returned to Dianaās headās side of the sheet. The nurse brought our daughter around and our new family was together for the first time.
She arrived 4 days late on Monday (2021-12-06 04:25EST). After some well deserved sleep we decided on her name, Marisol Jasmine Lam Clarke.
Marisol is a Spanish name meaning sea & sun. Marisol is also the name of a dear mutual friend of ours, a friend that played a big part in us coming together and eventually creating little Marisol.
Jasmine is in honour of our much loved late cat, Jazz. We werenāt sure if we should name our baby after our cat. Diana ran the idea past an old friend who had lived with Jazz and she said āpeople need to learn humilityā.
We decided on using Dianaās last name as a middle name and Marisol took my last name. This decision was in large part to make it easier for Marisol and I to travel together.
The staff at Belleville General Hospital were all attentive, caring, and understanding. I canāt thank them enough for all their support, they all went above and beyond.
As a biased parent, I find her adorable. It takes a village and weāve had loads of support from family and friends.
# Automatically reboot router on lost Internet connection with Sonoff switch and TasmotaBell Fibre Internet is awesome however the HomeHub 3000 router they provide is rubbish. Recently we were away from home when there was an internet outage requiring a router reboot fix.
Our home is smart so losing Internet while weāre away caused a few problems;
After a bit of research I decided on the Watchdog for Wi-Fi router approach with a few tweaks. I built a version of Tasmota with USE_PING, USE_EXPRESSION, & SUPPORT_IF_STATEMENT enabled. USE_PING allows me to write Tasmota Rules based on the response of network pings. USE_EXPRESSION, & SUPPORT_IF_STATEMENT were added in case more complex Rules were required later. For instance, adding the ability to ping multiple servers to check for network connection. I flashed a Sonoff switch with my build of Tasmota version 9.1.0 using Tasmotizer. Then connected the switch to my routerās wifi network and in line power supply.
In the console;
Set the PowerOnState to 1 so that the router would turn on after a power outage
PowerOnState 1
Then added a rule which sends 8 pings to 1.1.1.1 every 120 minutes and if there are 0 successful responses, it powers off the router for 15 seconds, then powers it back on. I choose a 2 hour cadence because a 2 hour outage is fine for my use case and I didnāt want to risk a reboot loop if 1.1.1.1 stopped responding to my pings.
Rule1
ON Time#Minute|120 DO Ping8 1.1.1.1 ENDON
ON Ping#1.1.1.1#Success==0 DO Backlog Power1 0; Delay 150; Power1 1; ENDON
Finally I enabled Rule 1.
Rule1 1
Iāll try this approach out for a while and if reboots become too frequent I will use the USE_EXPRESSION, & SUPPORT_IF_STATEMENT to check multiple sites before initiating a reboot.
The Democracy Index is compiled by the Economist Intelligence Unit. Using expert interviews, the index has measured the state of democracy around the world since 2006. The Democracy Index has been criticised for lacking transparency as it does not clarify who the experts are. However, the Economist Intelligence Unit is well respected and this is likely the best available dataset on democracy.
The Democracy Index has identified a worrying trend in US politics, the United States is becoming less democratic. The slow demise of US democracy is observed during the terms of both Republican & Democratic presidents.
A lower index means less democratic, see appendix below for sources & definitions
This disturbing trend isnāt seen in the other Five Eyes countries. In fact, of Five Eyes countries, the US is the only country that has seen a consistent decrease since the Democracy Index began. Given the increasing cases of voter suppression in the US, this trend is likely to continue.
Democracy is dying by a thousand cuts in the United States. People like Sheriff Daniel Coverley who threatened to stop responding to 911 calls from a local library because he disagreed with their proposed diversity statementĀ¹ is a threat to US democracy. Superdelegates in the Democratic Party that have more voting power then other citizens are a threat to US democracy. Gerrymandered is a threat to US democracy. And then there are the more obvious voter suppression attacks on US democracy. The attacks are coming from all sides and all levels of government.
Fortunately the United States still has strong institutions like the Supreme Court which can challenge some of these attacks. In 2019, the Supreme Court rejected the Trump administrationās attempt to add a citizenship question to the 2020 censusĀ². Citizenship data would enable more efficient gerrymandering. This Supreme Court ruling occurred even though the majority of Justices were Republican appointed. However given the direction of democracy in the US, I do not believe the Supreme Court will remain non partisan for long which will accelerate the demise of democracy.
The trend worries me because the United States is full of amazing people (including many good friends) who deserve representation. Politics in the US has become polarizing distractions and politicized truths. A country that has lost hundreds of thousands of soldiers spreading democracy now has citizens claiming that wearing a mask infringes on their constitutional rights. Something is wrong here.
Indexes are composed from the following indicators estimated by experts in each field.
Further details of the model are on page 55 of The Economist Intelligence Unitās Democracy Index 2019 publication.
EIU-Democracy Indices Dataset - v3 via Gapminder (mirror) is a well organised Democracy Index dataset if you want to explore.
# Another Angel KittyWe lost our beautiful boy kitty today. He was 16.5 years old. We knew it was coming, we took him to the vet a couple of days after Jazz died as he was acting strangely. The vets discovered multi nodule growths in his liver and stomach. They told us he may pass in the next couple of days. Hercie gave us another month of cuddles, and after having just lost Jazz, we were really grateful. Since his diagnosis we had been sleeping on a small foldout mattress in Dianaās studio because thatās where Hercie wanted to sleep. Last night I was woken up by a paw to the face asking for attention. After a few strokes I would fall asleep and then be reawoken in the same manner. This went on for quite some time and itās something that Diana had normally bore the brunt of. It was a wonderful last night to have with him. We were lucky to have had such amazing cats.
# Where's Waldo 2020 EditionHere are some Whereās Waldo images to keep the kids occupied during this lock down summer. There are a couple of updates to make it feel more appropriate for 2020.
Laptops are optimized for consuming video content but their webcams are potato quality. Phones are optimized for creating video content but their cameraās face the wrong direction. Phones also have network & power redundancy making them perfect for uninterrupted video calls. I designed a box that centers the phoneās screen image directly in front of the phoneās front facing camera. In addition to awesome image quality, this design also gives the illusion of eye contact.
Itās been nearly a decade since I deployed to Afghanistan with the Australian Army. Going has never been a regret but returning was tough. I journalled my experiences with the intent of eventually posting them to my blog. These posts donāt include the more difficult experiences.
Our beautiful old lady kitty passed away today :( We will miss you Jazz, you were purrrrfect. Thank you for all the cuddles.
# The Dangers of Turnkey Data ScienceData science affects our lives from trivial restaurant recommendations to life changing loan risk predictions. Data science has the ability to improve lives, but like any tool, when misused or misunderstood, it can cause damage.
During the 2010s, some of the greatest minds in data science were working at Facebook. Increasing user engagement was the success metric as it led to more eyeballs on ads. Facebook increased user engagement by surfacing content that kept users on the platform. An artifact of Facebookās approach was that users were not exposed to opposing ideas. This simple concept had horrific outcomes. In 2016 the Rohingya genocide began leading to the deaths of tens of thousands of people in Myanmar. Facebook was largely responsible for spreading and inciting the hatred towards the Rohingya people. Marzuki Darusman, the chairman for the U.N. Independent International Fact-Finding Mission on Myanmar stated that Facebook played a ādetermining roleā in MyanmarĀ¹.
āIt hasā¦ substantively contributed to the level of acrimony and dissension and conflict, if you will, within the public. Hate speech is certainly of course a part of that. As far as the Myanmar situation is concerned, social media is Facebook, and Facebook is social media,ā ā Marzuki Darusman.
Facebook has changed some policies but hasnāt addressed the root cause. Facebook continues to make short term optimizations with little understanding of long term impacts. Consider notification fatigue:
Again, this is the result of short term data driven decision. More notifications equals more engagement, no matter the relevance. This gambit works until users reach a saturation point.
Calling what we have now artificial intelligence is a little premature. If you ask a human librarian for advice on committing suicide, itās unlikely that they would blindly supply you with stats on techniques.
Searched on 2020-06-14 using guest chrome account and a anon vpn
Data scientists continue to make mistakes with real world consequences. Turnkey data science now lets anyone make those mistakes.
Turnkey data science refers to a suite of new tools developed by Google, AWS, Azure, etc to simplify the adoption of data science techniques. The people building these tools are still making mistakes and the people using these tools donāt necessarily understand the risks.
Consider Google Cloud Natural Language API which analyzes sentiment from text. An example use case would be monitoring employee morale without having to read every single feedback form. Google have great tutorials on implementing their natural language processor (NLP) however nowhere in their documentation could I find details about possible bias. So I tested their NLP:
Even small samples revealed statistically significant gender bias.
statistics = 1002.000
p value = 0.043
avg female sentiment = -0.12
avg male sentiment = -0.23
Using MannāWhitney U test, see Jupyter notebook for more details
Bias exists in these tools because the people creating them and the data used to train them is biased. You wouldnāt trust a sexist human to help you make objective decisions, so why do we trust sexist bots? Here is another example using Azureās NLP offering.
Female terms
Male terms
Being complicit in a literal genocide wasnāt enough to cause substantial change in the Data Science industry. Facebook hired some more human moderators to identify hate speech but ignored the root cause. The root cause was recommendation engines manipulating humans for short term goals, without regard or knowledge of long term effects. But there is hope.
According to the Internet research company Pew Research Center, 62% of adults in the United States get news from social mediaĀ². Some news outlets have started writing articles for Facebookās accidentally genocidal algorithms instead of humans. The results are continued filter bubbling and more division. Ground News is a news comparison platform solving this problem. Users can see how a particular story is told across the political spectrum and around the world.
Ground News also have a weekly Blindspot email highlighting notability biased articles and how different media outlets describe the same event or person.
At Shopify, I created a defensive patent to identify & remove bias from machine learning models.
I have been working on a Python package to implement the concept.
There are many in the data science community identifying and solving these problems. Itās important that the public understand that data models are not inherently objective. And itās imperative that identified issues in data science are resolved at their source. Done right, data science can solve more problems then it creates.
# Online Retreat RealityI need to turn off and on again. An IRL retreat is out of the question so this is the DIY approach. Starting Saturday morning, four days, no social/news media, lots of lazy activities.
08:00 Gentle Yoga Flow
08:30 Breakfast
09:30 Pack lunch, Walk to Beach, & read
12:00 Lunch
14:00 Guided Meditation
15:00 Listen to Rodriguez Cold Fact Album
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Restorative Yoga Flow
20:00 Play with trains
08:00 Gentle Yoga
08:45 Breakfast
09:30 Ride to canal and sail my RC boat
12:00 Lunch
13:00 Give Diana a massage
14:00 Facemasks & bath
16:00 Listen to Don Mclean
17:00 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Boardgames with Diana
08:00 Gentle Yoga
08:45 Breakfast
09:30 Pack a lunch and go for a hike
12:00 Lunch
15:00 Listen to Regina Spektor
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Restorative Yoga
20:00 Boardgames online with my Mum
08:00 Gentle Yoga
08:45 Breakfast
09:30 Walk to Experimental Farm and read
12:00 Lunch
14:00 Earth Journey Meditation for Deep Relaxation
15:00 Listen to Piano Man Album
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Restorative Yoga
08:00 Face Yoga
08:30 Breakfast
09:30 Pack lunch, Ride to Beach, & read
12:00 Lunch
14:00 half of a Guided Meditation
15:00 Listen to Rodriguez Cold Fact Album
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Get a little high for yoga
19:00 Restorative Yoga Flow
20:00 Watched Sharknado 2
09:15 Breakfast
10:30 Ride to canal, & sail my RC boat
12:00 Did some acro in the park
14:00 Got a little day drunk playing online board games with Diana, my brother, and sister in law
16:00 Listen to Don Mclean
17:00 Had an afternoon nap
19:00 BBQ dinner
21:00 Watched Onward
09:15 Breakfast
09:30 Pack a lunch and go for a hike
12:00 Lunch
15:00 Listen to Regina Spektor
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
20:00 Boardgames online with my Mum
08:00 Face Yoga
08:45 Breakfast
09:30 Rode to Experimental Farm and read
12:00 Lunch
14:00 Earth Journey Meditation for Deep Relaxation
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Online Thai massage session with Diana
Even though I didnāt follow my schedule my big take away was that I need to distance myself from recommended content and infinite scrolling.
# Online RetreatI need to turn off and on again. An IRL retreat is out of the question so this is the DIY approach. Starting Saturday morning, four days, no social/news media, lots of lazy activities.
08:00 Gentle Yoga Flow
08:30 Breakfast
09:30 Pack lunch, Walk to Beach and read
12:00 Lunch
14:00 Guided Meditation
15:00 Listen to Rodriguez Cold Fact Album
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Restorative Yoga Flow
20:00 Play with trains
08:00 Gentle Yoga
08:45 Breakfast
09:30 Ride to canal and sail my RC boat
12:00 Lunch
13:00 Give Diana a massage
14:00 Facemasks & bath
16:00 Listen to Don Mclean
17:00 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Boardgames with Diana
08:00 Gentle Yoga
08:45 Breakfast
09:30 Pack a lunch and go for a hike
12:00 Lunch
15:00 Listen to Regina Spektor
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Restorative Yoga
20:00 Boardgames online with my Mum
08:00 Gentle Yoga
08:45 Breakfast
09:30 Walk to Experimental Farm and read
12:00 Lunch
14:00 Earth Journey Meditation for Deep Relaxation
15:00 Listen to Piano Man Album
16:30 Play my ukulele
18:00 Afternoon walk
19:00 Restorative Yoga
We can be socially close while being physically distant. Here are my tips for having genuine video chats.
No one wants to look up your nose,
elevate your camera to eye level,
and youāre good looking, frame yourself to take up the whole screen.
Video chat programs like Skype, Google Hangouts, & Zoom utilize inter frame compression. With inter frame compression, only the pixels that change are transmitted. The easiest way to take advantage of this is to keep your camera steady. If youāre using a laptop or phone, put it on a table. Even the vibrations from typing on a laptop will move the screen and render inter frame compression useless.
Webcams become grainy in low light. Use scattered lighting like a window, or buy a cheap USB ring light to brighten your face. And donāt be a shadow puppet. Make sure your background is less well lit than your face.
Wear earbuds or headphones. Video chat programs will noise cancel to prevent mic feedback. This is less of a problem when the chat is one on one. However, if you are chatting with more than one person, your feedback may actually cancel the audio from another user.
My eyes are up hereā¦ When looking at a personās face during a video call it appears to them as though you are looking at their chest.
Look directly at your webcam if you want the other person to feel connected through eye contact. Or move the window so that the personās face appears close to your webcam to make it closer to eye contact.
Your advertised internet speed isnāt your actual internet speed. Do a speed test where youāll be using your device. Time of day may also affect your internet speed if you have a cable or DSL connection. In front of my router my laptop gets 300mbps up and 300mbps down with a 2ms ping. However on the other side of my house it is much slower with increased latency.
For good video quality you need at least a solid 15mbps up and down. Most video apps recommend 7mbps but that doesnāt account for background apps updating or other traffic on your network saturating your connection. Remember, the image you see of yourself isnāt what the person youāre speaking to sees.
For smooth conversation you will also need a ping of less than 150ms. The typical gap in turn-taking conversation is just 200 millisecondsā. With a ping over 150ms youāll get start stop sentences. Itās ok to have increased latency, as long as everyone knows that they have to wait longer before speaking.
Keep in mind that the bottleneck is whoever has the slowest connection.
# Data Driven Ottawa talkIt took 324 days to see a psychologist for treatment through the Australian DVA. The DVA paid 3rd parties $8,782.40 for assessments prior to the beginning of my treatment and had spent $13,986.50 on 3rd parties by the end of my treatment. My psychologist only charged the DVA $2,433 for my 12 treatments.
The $13,986.50 does not include additional expenses like DVA or VAC staffing, costs of treatment, costs incurred by me directly, or costs incurred by Public Health for the multiple required doctors appointments. As a tax payer Iām angry, as a veteran Iām devastated. My mates deserve and need better then this.
Here is my journey trying to get help from the Australian DVA.
In 2010 I deployed to Afghanistan with the Australian Army. Since returning home in 2011 I have suffered insomnia and mild PTSD. Canada has been my home since 2012 when I immigrated here for work. Luckily The Australian Department of Veteran Affairs (DVA) and Veterans Affairs Canada have reciprocal relationships for veteran services. On March 19th, 2019, I decided to seek help from the Australian DVA. My encounters with the Australian DVA in the past have been awful so I decided to document my (not uncommon) experience. This was my journey.
After years of dealing with insomnia, I decided to reach out for help. I called Veterans Affairs Canada and was informed that I would have to initiate the process though DVA Australia.
Called DVA Australia - Mary told me the reciprocal relationship was only one way and that I would not be eligible for treatment. Here is the complete conversation including 4 minutes of been told that Australia and Canada have a one way reciprocal relationship.
Obviously I was not happy with the initial response from the DVA. I registered with My Service and made my insomnia claim online.
I called the DVA again hoping that I would speak to someone else that would be willing to help me. Amelia from DVA Australia connected me with the section of DVA Australia that deals with overseas veterans.
I completed a load of paperwork and was put in contact with Karen.
I also made a complaint with the DVA about my call with Mary:
Hey Team,
I am an Australian Veteran living in Canada. I was after information regarding Australian & Canadaās reciprocal DVA relationship. I had reached out to DVA Canada and was told to initiate the process with DVA Australia.
This morning I called DVA Australia and had a difficult conversation with Mary. Mary explained to me that the reciprocal relationship would only work if I were a Canadian veteran living in Australia, not the other way around. When I explained that thatās not reciprocal, she reiterated that it doesnāt work in reverse.
I ended up leaving the conversation and calling back. The second time I got through to someone who was willing and able to assist me.
I donāt expect DVA staff to know everything but itās unacceptable for them to lie when they donāt know something. It was 17 minutes of condescendingly being incorrectly explained how the reciprocal relationship works. A simple, āI donāt know, Iāll find someone who doesā would have solved the issue.
I find it difficult to articulate how disappointed I have been with DVA Australia. Iāve needed help twice as a veteran and both times Iāve had to deal with unprofessional people like this on the phone system. As a result of my horrible first experience, I started recording my interactions with the DVA. Iām happy to share my recording of my phone call with Mary.
I have service related problems that I want to get addressed. Theyāre not life threatening but they do affect my quality of life. It pains me to think of my mates with more sever issues using DVA services and dealing with this unprofessional behaviour.
What steps are you going to take to rectify this situation?
Cheers,
Greg.
I received a response the same day
Hi Greg
Iāve had a quick look into this (through your DVA file number, TSM06858) and unfortunately thereās no record in DVA logging systems of the āMaryā you spoke with
Do you recall what area or section of DVA Mary was from? It looks like you may have been assisted the second time by Bernadette of the Melbourne office?
I would like to pursue this matter on your behalf with Maryās supervisor, but I need some more information Iām afraid as there are a lot of different Maryās on staff (as you can imagine) ā¦
regards David
David āāāāāā
Feedback Management Officer
Department of Veteransā Affairs
and responded
Cheers David,
Yes, I believe the second person I spoke to was Bernadette. Bernadette was very helpful and knowledge. I hadnāt completed my dva application when I was speaking to Mary so I imagine thatās why Iām not showing up in the system. Mary was in the Melbourne office and our call began around 08:15EST. Does that help?
Thanks again for looking into this, it helps put my mind at ease knowing that these matters are taken seriously.
As of October 2019, I still havenāt received a response from David
Received confirmation that my application had been received and was being processed.
Dear Greg,
Thank you for your recent request to the Department of Veteransā Affairs (DVA) for prior approval of treatment or services. Please log into your My Service Account as your letter has been sent to you.
I will update you once I have more information. They have advised that you check you my service account regularly as they will be communicating with you there regarding your claims.
Thankyou &
Kind regards,
Karen
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Health Approvals & Home Care
Received an email saying my claim was being investigated. I was feeling positive that DVA Australia aims to finialise 50% of their cases within 100 days of lodgement.
Good Morning Gregory,
This is a courtesy email to advise you that I will be assisting in the investigation of your MRCA Initial Liability claim for the condition of: Insomnia & Mental Health
DVA aims to finalise approximately 50% of cases within 100 days of lodgement, but it could also take longer, depending on the complexity of your claim.
(Please refer to link: https://www.dva.gov.au/about-dva/overview/dva-service-charter for more information regarding DVAās Service Charter)
Would you please be able to respond to this email to advise if you have seen or are currently seeing a Psychiatrist in regards to this claimed condition?
If you have any questions in regards to your claim, please do not hesitate to contact me on the details listed below.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Primary Claims | Clientsā Benefits | Sydney Office
Department of Veteransā Affairs
There were a couple of emails back and forth that day, and we settled on having an assessment from a local psychiatrist.
Received an update a month later that the DVA was still trying to setup the appointment
Good Morning Greg,
Iām just touching base to let you know that MLCOA is still in the process of liaising with their Canadian counterpart and arranging an appointment for you.
Iāll keep you updated.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Primary Claims | Clientsā Benefits | Sydney Office
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Received this email about my claim.
Good morning Mr Clarke,
My name is Hugh āāāāāā, from the Department of Veteransā Affairs.
Iām contacting you today as part of the MyService team to inform you that your claim, submitted 10/04/2019, had been stalled as a result of a technical issue on our end. This issue has since been identified and resolved, so your claim has moved on to being processed as a priority.
We apologise for any inconvenience in the delay.
Regards,
Hugh āāāāāā | Administration Officer
Digital Client Experience
Department of Veteransā Affairs | www.dva.gov.au
Received this follow up email about an appointment.
Good Afternoon Greg,
I have heard back from MLCOA. They have provided an appointment for you on Wednesday 5th July 2019 at 10am.
This appointment will be with Dr Ken āāāāāā MD, FRCPC
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Speciality: Psychiatrist
Please advise if this appointment is suitable for you.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
I confirmed and clarified the date (as the 5th July 2019 isnāt a Wednesday).
Thank you Vijayata,
I assume thatās Wednesday the 5th of June? Either way, the appointment is suitable for me on the 5th of June or the 5th of July.
Thanks again for lining this up,
Greg.
Received another email with the incorrect date.
Good Morning Greg,
The email I received from MLCOA read:
āOur sister company have advised that Dr āāāāāā is happy to accept this referral and has offered an appointment on Wednesday 5th July 2019 at 10am.
Can you please liaise with Mr Clarke to see if he is available to attend this appointment?ā
The appointment would be 5th July 2019 at 10 am.
I will let MLCOA know so they can book this appointment for you.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Again, I tried to confirm the correct date.
Hello Vijayata,
Wednesday the 5th of July 2019 is not a correct date. The 5th of July is a Friday, however the 5th of June is a Wednesday. Either the day or the month is wrong. Can you please confirm the actual date of the appointment.
Cheers,
Greg.
Correct date was confirmed.
Good Morning Greg,
Please see email below, your appointment has been scheduled for Friday 5th July 2019 at 10 am.
My apologises for the confusion.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Received another email requesting that I confirm the same appointment again.
Good morning Greg
A tentative appointment has been scheduled for you to meet with Dr āāāāāā, on Friday 5th July 2019 at 10am to assist with the investigation of your outstanding claim with DVA.
Could you please advise as soon as possible as to whether you are available for this appointment.
For your information:
Dr Ken āāāāāā,
MD, FRCPC
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Speciality: PsychiatristKind regards,
Alicen
Senior Delegate - Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
I quickly confirmed that I was still available
Hello,
yes, I can confirm my availability. I had already confirmed this appointment.
Thank you,
Greg.
A week prior to the appointment and I hadnāt received any more details about the appointment, like itās location. So I emailed asking for those details.
Hello Team,
can you please send me the address for this appointment? I havenāt received those details yet. Also, is it possible to use normal email instead of this secure email service?
Thank you,
Greg.
I hadnāt received any reply to my previous message and still didnāt have a location for the appointment. I reached out again.
When will I receive the address or any other details about this appointment?
I hadnāt heard from anyone in weeks and had missed my appointment because I was never given the details so I emailed GeneralEnquiries@dva.gov.au & Vijayata again.
Hello Vijayata,
I replied to both of your confirmation emails regarding my appointment on the 5th of July with Dr āāāāāā, in Ottawa, Canada. I sent a third email asking for the address last week as I had no details on the location and I hadnāt heard back from you. I still havenāt received a response from you or anyone on your team. You made me wait weeks for this appointment and then you didnāt even send me the details. I have insomnia and it affects my life. If the DVA is incapable of helping me either because of lack of resources or lack of competence, please let me know so I can get help elsewhere. This level of incompetence unacceptable. Every interaction I have with the Australian DVA is a disappointment.
Please just either help me or admit that youāre not going to help me so I donāt have to suffer though more months of insomnia.
I have the right to access DVA services in Canada through the Canadian DVA but it needs to be initiated from the Australian DVA. Please please please just do that!
I expect a response within 5 days with a clear resolution.
Received an apology with no explanation.
Good Morning Greg,
My apologies for the delayed response.
I am liaising with MLCOA to get another appointment date for you.
Iāll keep you updated.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
I asked if my messages were being received.
Hi Vijayata,
I apologise for the tone of my last message but please appreciate my frustration. Having chronic insomnia has put me in a pretty dark place and I either need support or a way out. Can you please acknowledge that you are receiving my messages though this secure mail portal?
Thank you,
Greg.
Vijayata confirmed they were.
I can confirm that I have received your previous correspondence.
I was, however, unable to respond to you in time in relation to the 05 July 2019 appointment.
My apologies.
As mentioned before, I am arranging a follow-up appointment for you through MLCOA.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Received a generic response from the General Enquiries.
Dear Greg
Thank you for your email.
Your request has been forwarded to the relevant DVA business area for their consideration and response. Please be aware that while we endeavour to answer your enquiry within 2 to 5 days, further time may be needed to investigate and respond.
If you have any additional questions, feel free to contact us via email or on the phone numbers below to speak directly to a DVA staff member.
Brendan āāāāāā,
Client Contact Victoria / Client Channels
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Ph. 1800 555 254
All Mail: DVA, GPO Box 9998, BRISBANE QLD 4001
Emailed Vijayata again to find out why I hadnāt received any news for a few weeks.
Why is my appointment taking so long to organize? Why havenāt I heard anything from you for weeks? Whatās going on?
I received a response.
Good Morning Greg,
My apologies for my delayed response; I had been away sick from work (flu season here in Aus.!)
I have received an email from MLCOA with the earliest available date: Wednesday 4 September 2019 at 10am.
I will email you out the contact details / appointment details when I get these from MLOCA.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Delegate, Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
I sympathize with Vijayata getting sick. Thatās awful, but the DVA should have systems in place to deal with people getting sick. I responded.
Cheers Vijayata, I hope youāre feeling better now. Iām looking forward to my appointment, Iāll block it off in my calendar.
Thanks again,
Greg.
Vijayata responded.
No worries!
Once again, I do apologise for the delay in arranging this appointment for you.
I really want to get some help so I emailed Darren Chester, the Minister responsible for the operations of Veteransā Affairs. I also ccād GeneralEnquiries@dva.gov.au to give them a heads up.
Dear Hon Darren Chester MP,
I am an Australian Army veteran that served in Afghanistan & the Solomon Islands. I migrated to Canada in 2012 and have been seeking help from the Australian DVA for my service induced insomnia. Itās not going well even though there is a reciprocal relationship between the Australian Department of Veteran Affairs and the Canadian Veterans Affairs.
I have documented my experience so far in a blog post -> https://gregology.net/2019/07/my-experience-with-the-australian-dva/
I would really appreciate if you could assist in any way possible.
Regards,
Greg Clarke.
I received an automated response
Office of the Hon Darren Chester MP
Minister for Veterans and Defence Personnel
Deputy Leader of the House
Federal Member for GippslandThank you for your email to the Office of the Hon Darren Chester MP.
As you would appreciate, Minister Chester receives a considerable amount of correspondence each day and, while all emails will be read and actioned, some may not receive a formal response.
Thank you for taking the time to contact the Minister.
I received a response on the 17th of September (posted below)
After getting no human response from the Minister for Veterans and Defence Personnel, I decided to reach out to the shadow minister for help.
Dear Honourable Amanda Rishworth MP,
I am an Australian Army veteran that served in Afghanistan & the Solomon Islands. For the last few months Iāve been trying to get assistance from the DVA for my service induced insomnia. Iām at my witsā end trying to get support from the DVA.
I have documented my communications with the DVA here -> https://gregology.net/2019/07/my-experience-with-the-australian-dva/
Itās been over 4 months since I initially reached out for help and Iām no closer to treatment.
I was hoping that you, as a psychologist and the Shadow Minister for Veteransā Affairs could help me. Is there anything you can do to help me get treatment?
I would appreciate any assistance or direction you can give me,
Regards,
Greg.
Clearly my details were out of date and I received this response
Dear Mr Clarke
Thank you for our email.
Amanda is no longer the Shadow Minister for Veteransā Affairs. The new Shadow Minister if Shayne Neumann MP. I have forwarded your email to his office.
Kind regards ā EthnĆ©
I have not received any more responses or follow ups from this email.
I received an address for my assessment appointment!
Good Morning Greg,
Please find correspondence attached which refers to your upcoming appointment with Dr Ken āāāāāā on 04 September 2019.
Please allow between 2-3 hours for the duration of this appointment.
Please bring along two forms of identification to the appointment, with one of those being a photo ID.
With Kind Regards,
Vijayata
Responded
Confirmed, thank you.
I received another confirmation from a new Senior Delegate
Dear Mr Clarke,
I am writing to you about your claim for compensation for the conditions āInsomnia and Mental Healthā.
This is to advise you that this claim has now been reassigned to me and I wanted to confirm that an appointment has been organised for you on 4 September 2019 at 10am as per follows:
Dr Ken āāāāāā, (Consultant Psychiatrist)
555 Legget Drive
Tower A, Suite 304 TTC (The Corporate Centre)
Ottawa, ON, K2K 2X3Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any enquiries regarding this matter.
Kind Regards
Anita (62210884)
Senior Delegate, MRCA Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office | Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Phone: 1800 555 254
Responded
Hello Anita,
Itās a pleasure to meet you. Iām looking forward to the appointment and getting some help.
Cheers,
Greg.
Today I met with Dr. Ken āāāāāā, for my appointment. Dr. Ken politely declined my request to record the meeting. He would not allow me to take any notes during the meeting as it would be distracting. Dr. Ken also denied my request for a copy of the report or his notes from the session. The assessment was thorough taking 2hrs and 40mins. We discussed my service history, symptoms, previous treatments, life history, & current situation. It was a very draining experience that aggravated some scars.
Dr. Ken asked me why I didnāt seek treatment earlier. This was a painful question. Since leaving the Australian army, I have spent thousands of dollars out of my own pocket for service related treatment because the DVA previously refused to help me. Had the DVA given me assistance when I first requested it, my treatment would have begun 4 years ago. Getting this far into the process with the DVA and then being asked by I didnāt seek treatment earlier was very frustrating.
At the end of the assessment, Dr. Ken made some recommendations for seeking help through OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan) or my work insurance plan. I gathered from his recommendations that my application would be rejected but I appreciated him giving me direction to find help elsewhere.
Dr. Ken will finish his report within a week. The report will then go to MLCOA, an insurance company that helps the DVA assess claims.
I submitted a Freedom of Information request to the DVA so that I can calculate how much this whole experience has cost the DVA in MLCOA fees alone.
Hello,
I am formally requesting;
1) The names of other organisations used by DVA to write reports (other than MLCOA) and the percentage of the total number of reports written by MLCOA.
2) The average amount DVA pays MLCOA doctors for their reports.
3) The number of complaints DVA has received from veterans against doctors engaged by DVA for medico-legal service.
4) Documents outlining any training material, directions or correspondence provided to MLCOA doctors when dealing with veterans.Similar to Disclosure Log Number 87 from https://www.dva.gov.au/about-dva/freedom-information/foi-disclosure-log
Regards,
Greg Clarke.
They responded and I should receive a response in the next few months.
In accordance with section 15(5)(b) of the FOI Act, the due date for a decision on your request is 7 October 2019.`
Today I received a response from the Minister of Veterans and Defence Personnel, Darren Chester. The message was detailed and they had clearly taken my grievances seriously which I appreciated.
Dear Mr Clarke
Thank you for your correspondence on the 24 July 2019 to the Minister of Veterans and Defence Personnel, the Hon Darren Chester MP regarding your dealings with the Department of Veteransā Affairs (DVA). The Minister has asked me to respond on his behalf.
I apologise for the miscommunications in arranging your medical appointment. I understand this has been raised with the staff member with advice provided on appropriate future escalation processes. I am further advised that the business area has cross checked all of the escalation processes for persons living overseas in an effort to have future calls routed to the appropriate area.
I understand the mater has now been resolved and you attended an appointment with Dr āāāāāā on 4 September 2019. DVA will be able to assess and finalise your claim, once the medical report from Dr āāāāāā has been received.
Should you have any further queries about this matter, please contact Karen on 1800 555 xxx and request extension xxxxxx.
Thank you for taking the time to write.
Yours sincerely
Robert āāāāāā,
Chief of Staff
Itās been 6 months since I first reached out to the DVA for help. I still have had no treatment provided by the DVA.
Frustrated with waiting, I reached out to my DVA contact. I also requested the report that Dr Ken had prepared on me.
Hello Anita,
itās been 3 weeks since my assessment and over 6 months since I reached out for help. Is there any word on when the DVA might provide me with treatment? Also, can I please get a copy ofĀ Dr. āāāāāāās report for my own records.
Thank you,
Greg.
Anita sent me a prompt response which was appreciated
Dear Mr Clarke,
Thank you for your email.
I have not received the report from Dr āāāāāā as yet, I did receive an email from the medico-legal company (MLCOA) yesterday that they are following up on this.
I will finalise your claim as soon as we get the report and, unless indicated otherwise by the doctor, I will forward you a copy of Dr āāāāāāās report with my decision letter.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further queries regarding this matter.
Kind Regards
Anita (62210884)
Senior Delegate, MRCA Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office |Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
The DVA responded to my freedom of information request. All my questions were answered with Following a reasonable search, this information could not be found. I was hoping to calculate how much this delaying and refusal tactic had cost the Australia tax payers so far. Clearly itās something the DVA is not eager to share.
Document created in accordance with section 17 of the Freedom of Information Act 1982 (Cth)
FOI reference number: 30760Request details:
- The names of other organisations used by DVA to write reports (other than MLCOA).
- Australian Medico-Legal Group;
- E_Reports;
- IMO Pty Ltd;
- Medico Legal Opinions;
- Medico Legal Reporting Services of Australia
- Red Health Independent Medical Assessments;
- Specialist Onion Group
The percentage of the total number of reports written by MLCOA.
Following a reasonable search, this information could not be found.The average amount DVA pays MLCOA doctors for their reports.
Following a reasonable search, this information could not be found.The number of complaints DVA has received from veterans against doctors engaged by DVA for medico-legal service.
Following a reasonable search, this information could not be found.Documents outlining any training material, directions or correspondence provided to MLCOA doctors when dealing with veterans
An overview of DVA Compensation and Benefits was presented to MLCOA Doctors in May 2019. See Document 2.The average amount DVA pays MLCOA doctors for their reports from Canada.
Following a reasonable search, this information could not be found.The average amount DVA pays MLCOA doctors for their reports from outside of Australiaā¦ā
Following a reasonable search, this information could not be found.
As my previous freedom of information requests were rejected on the ground that Following a reasonable search, this information could not be found, I decided to make it really simple for the DVA.
Hello,
I arm formally requesting;
1) The amount paid to MLCOA for the assessment of myself (Gregory Clarke).
Regards,
Greg Clarke.
I received a prompt response with clarifying questions which I responded to.
Good Morning
Thank you for the below email.
In order for us to action your request we need more information in order to identify you on our database.
Could you please provide your date of birth and your Veterans Affair file number please.
Kind Regards
Arthur āāāāāā,
My claim has been accepted
Dear Mr Clarke,
I am writing to you about your claim for compensation for the conditions āInsomnia and Mental Healthā.
I received the report from Dr āāāāāā yesterday and I have now finalised this claim and my decision letter is attached for your perusal.
As requested by you, I have also attached Dr āāāāāāās report for your records.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any queries regarding this matter.
Kind Regards
Anita (62210884)
Senior Delegate, MRCA Liability
Processing Team 2 | Sydney Office |Clientsā Benefits
Department of Veteransā Affairs
Phone: 1800 555 254
Email: rcg.sydney.liability@dva.gov.au
tl;dr of attached letter
DECISION SUMMARY
I have accepted your claim for:
- Specified Trauma or Stressor Related Disorder with effect from 30 April 2011
- Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Mood with effect from 30 April 2011
- Chronic Insomnia Disorder with effect from 30 April 2011
Hopefully I can start treatment soon
Having my claim accepted was validating and a huge relief. It may still be months before I start treatment but this was the first time I felt like the DVA were actually supporting me. I responded to Anita.
Thank you Anita, this is great news. Iāll wait to hear from the delegate and organize some rehabilitation locally.
Thank you again for your help,
Greg
Mitch from the DVA reached out offering incapacity payments. I declined the offer, all I want is treatment. But it was nice knowing that they were taking my condition seriously.
Rochelle from Incite Solutions Group reached out or organise an initial assessment. She promptly setup a Skype chat for for Thursday night my time.
A weight that had been centered in my chest has disappeared. After an hour long chat with Giorgia & Rochelle from Incite Solutions Group, I finally feel like I will receive treatment soon. Itās been a long journey. I received an email from Giorgia requesting some additional paperwork. During the conversation they recommended that I do a course of interest that the DVA would fund to help me be social. I suggested improv and they agreed that it would be suitable for the purpose.
I returned 3 of the 4 documents, Return to Work Rehabilitation Rights and Obligations, Life Satisfaction Indicators, & CONSENT TO RELEASE AND OBTAIN INFORMATION. The 4th document required a doctor to fill it out. I booked an appointment to see my doctor at the earliest appointment, the 12th of November.
I received yet another rejection for my Freedom of Information request.
Decision
I have made a decision to refuse one document in full in accordance with section 47G of the FOI Act.
I visited my doctor and she helpfully filled out the confusing document Medical Certification - Ability to Work. To be clear, I have never claimed that I am unable to work. I want to get support so that I can remain employed. As soon as I returned home I scanned the document and sent them off to Giorgia.
It turns out that my doctor didnāt tick a box on the confusing Medical Certification - Ability to Work document. That meant I have to return to my doctor to get the box ticked and initialled.
Hi Greg,
Thank you for sending that through. I have reviewed the Medical Certification and noticed that Dr S has crossed out the vocational rehabilitation box, which would indicate you are not fit to engage in vocational rehabilitation with Incite Solutions.
In order you to participate in vocational rehabilitation services with us and for us to provide support, Dr S would need to tick you have some capacity in
āPart B ā Rehabilitation ā Question 7ā i.e. at least 1-2 hours per week to come on to Programme with us. Apologies if that was not clear, it mentions activities such as online learning and work-trials, which are not relevant for you as you are currently working full-time. However, the Rehab plan we came up with for the medical, psychosocial and vocational goals are what we would be supporting with from a vocational rehabilitation perspective and from an employment perspective, we would be supporting with employment monitoring (i.e. your vocational goal to lessen occasions of lateness to work).Would you be able to book another appointment with Dr S or alternatively call the practice and ask her to make an amendment and initial this with her signature on the previously completed Med Cert ā indicating you have some capacity for vocational rehabilitation in Part B ā Rehabilitation ā Question 7?
Could you please let me know when this may be possible, as I need to update DVA and request an extension until we are able to obtain the updated Medical Certificate.
Let me know if you any of that doesnāt make sense.
Warm regards,
Giorgia
I really thought that I was past DVA bureaucracy and hoop jumping now that I was dealing directly with Incite Solutions. Unfortunately I was wrong. I have booked a the earliest available follow up appointment with my doctor on the 5th of December.
Iāve booked another appointment with my doctor on the 5th of December. In the meantime, can I please get some help.
Giorgia tried to push back on the DVA and got nowhere. She offered to chase the paperwork directly to save me another visit to the doctor. After 8 months of getting nowhere, I was really running out of energy dealing with the DVA so I appreciated Giorgiaās efforts.
Hi Greg,
I have spoken to DVA and unfortunately they require an updated medical certificate that reflects you are fit for vocational rehabilitation before we can submit the Initial Assessment and commence you on program. I apologise for the trouble. I am going to organise for a fax to be sent to Dr S as she only needs to amend the āPart B ā Rehabilitation ā Question 7ā section and I am hopeful she may be able to complete this before December 5th so you donāt have to wait for another appointment. Let me know your thoughts and whether you think she would respond to the fax from us?
Warm regards,
Giorgia
I responded thanking Giorgia
Thanks Giorgia, I appreciate your help. I donāt blame you, I know this is dva bureaucracy. And yes please, reach out to Dr S directly, that would be great.
Thanks again, and have a great weekend, Greg.
Giorgia again apologised for the DVA making me jump though hoops
I really do apologise for the run around Greg and appreciate your understanding. I will give you an update as soon as I get something back from Dr S. Once we have everything submitted to DVA, we can hopefully organise a time to Skype again so we can discuss next steps for the program.
Hope you have a great weekend as well.
Warm regards,
Giorgia
Received an email from Incite Solutions confirming my Initial Assessment Report had been submitted to the DVA
Dear Gregory,
Please find attached for your records our Initial Assessment Report which was submitted to DVA in support of your Rehabilitation Plan with Incite Solutions Group.
If you have any questions in respect to this report please feel free to contact Giorgia on 9414 āāāā.
Regards
Felicity
Senior Administration Officer
Giorgia emailed letting me know that the DVA had approved the plan
Hi Greg,
How are you going?
We have received your approved plan back from DVA, which means that we can now commence your program. Could you please sign and return it at your earliest convenience so that I can send it back to DVA.
I was wondering if you wanted to link in over Skype to discuss next steps? I am free next Monday 2nd December or Tuesday 3rd December, I would be able to come in to the office at around 7am Perth time if either of those evenings would work for you?
Looking forward to chatting further
Warm regards,
Giorgia
I had a chat with Giorgia from Incite Solutions about treatment. Giorgia informed me that the DVA would require written permission from my doctor before they would permit me to do improv. Giorgia and Incite Solutions have been wonderful and I thought that once I was dealing with them that I would no longer have to deal with the ludicrous bureaucracy of the DVA. unfortunately I was wrong.
We chatted and I started doing some research on local psychologists that I could see.
My FOI act to try to try to calculate how much the DVA had spent denying me treatment had cost was denied
Dear Mr Clarke,
I refer to your FOI request for access to the following:
ā¦The amount paid to MLCOA for the assessment of myself (Gregory Clarke)ā¦
I also refer to your request for an Internal Review of the primary decision, specifically noting:
ā¦I would like to challenge this refusal. Your letter said āI have enclosed information about your rights of review under the FOI Act at Attachment Aā, however there was no attachment Aā¦
Please find attached the statement of reasons of the Internal Review conducted and one (1) document falling within the scope of your request.
Kind regards
Dylan
I received a follow up from Giorgia. We exchanged a few message trying to find me a local psychologist with experience helping veterans.
Hi Greg,
Thanks for your time today.
I spoke with Rochelle and she has clarified the process for international clients. Apologies for not touching base with her beforehand, if you need me to clarify anything further, please let me know. It may be easier to have it all in writing below so you can refer back to this email.
Essentially as we discussed you would go to your GP and get a referral to a Psychologist, however international clients pay for the cost of their medical appointments upfront and then claim this back from DVA.
I have attached a DVA form called āApplication for Refund or Payment of Medical Expenses Privately Incurred.ā Clients need to request a receipt from the psychologist, complete the attached form and send this back to DVA.
The receipt from the Psychologist will need to:
Clearly state the patient name and medical condition(s) that were treated;
- Be signed by the health provider;
- Be itemised and include details of the treatment provided including the number of visits, dates of treatment, and, if an in-patient, the period spent in hospital;
- Include the name, dosage and cost of any pharmaceutical item dispensed;
- Be accompanied by original receipts;
- Be accompanied by the health providerās certification that the treatment was provided in an emergency, if relevant;
Additionally as you are not on incapacity payments, I also wanted to let you know that rehabilitation program is a voluntary process. I am here to assist, therefore, if you prefer, you can send the receipt through to me and I can complete the Application for Refund or Payment form and submit this to DVA if that makes things a little easier.I am happy to organise another Skype call if you want to chat about this further. Let me know how your appointment with Dr Sarah goes and I will do some research to try and identify some appropriate Psychologists in your area.
Warm regards,
Giorgia
The requirement to get yet another referral from my GP in order to get reimbursed by the DVA was confusing and annoying. It takes 2 weeks to get an appointment with my doctor and isnāt required in order to get psychology treatment in Canada. It was just a requirement of the DVA even though the DVA had recently put me though a full 2.5hr psych assessment.
I responded wondering how the DVA would reimburse me for my treatment
Thanks for the info Giorgia. How will the DVA refund me the money? As in, how will they send it to me?
As I expected, it was going to be another hurdle
Not a problem Greg.
Do you have an Australian bank account? If so, if you can please provide your details I can make sure that DVA have this to refund the medical expenses. If you donāt have an Australian bank account, please let me know as I will need to contact DVA to request some further paperwork for international bank transactions.
Thanks,
Giorgia
I let Giorgia know that I no longer have an active Australian bank account
Hey Giorgia, unfortunately I donāt have an active Australian bank account
Giorgiaās response was no surprise, more paperwork
Hi Greg,
Thanks for letting me know. Given you donāt have an active Australian bank account, I will have to contact DVA to request some additional paperwork for this. Once I have this, I will send it through to you.
Itās been a rough few days. I went to my doctor and asked for sleeping tablets, I felt defeated treating the symptom and not the root cause. My doctor prescribed me 3.75-7.5mg Zopiclone. I really thought I was close to getting support but itās becoming clear that the DVA is incapable of helping most veterans.
The quote from the parents of Jesse Bird sum up the situation succinctly
it seems to him and us that the level of bureaucracy is intentionally obstructionist and unedifying. The jungle of paperwork, the lack of follow-up and the non-existent support has contributed to his deteriorating mental health.
After nearly 9 months, I was defeated. I emailed Giorgia thanking her for her efforts
Hello Giorgia,
Iām no longer expecting to receive any help from the DVA. Itās been 8.5 months since I reached out to them. Iāve invested much time and energy into getting help from the DVA but itās a sunk cost. Every time I think Iām close to getting help (actually seeing a psychologist for treatment), itās a false peak. I wish they had just told me at the start that they werenāt going to help me. If they had, I would be 8 months into treatment. All the DVA has done is slow me down from getting help. I am in a worse state because of the DVA.
I doubt the DVA will contribute to the cost of my psychology treatment and after nearly 9 months, I donāt have the energy to fight them to get the help I need. I donāt believe that the DVA is willing or capable of helping me. I will continue seeking help as if the DVA doesnāt exist and I will book psychology treatments that I can afford out of pocket.
Thank you again for your help, this is aĀ systemic problem with the DVA not Incite Solutions or your efforts. I appreciate all youāve done for me.Cheers, Greg.
I reached out to 5 local psychologists so that I can begin treatment. I should be able to start treatment in the next couple of month. I will pay out of pocket for treatment.
Last ditch attempt, I tried tweeting to someone who might be able to help me
Hey @DVAAus, @DVACommissioner, @DeptDefence, & @lindareynoldswa can I trade my medals in for treatment?https://t.co/fM4eEoYkZ9
— Greg Clarke š¬š§š¦šŗšØš¦ (@Gregologynet) December 5, 2019
I received no responses from the DVA, the DVA Commissioner, The Australian Department of Defence, or Linda Reynolds (The Minister of Defence). I did hear from a few mates which was really appreciated.
I also tried one last time to calculate how much the DVA has spent delaying my treatment
Hello,
I am formally requesting;
1) The total amount the DVA has paid to 3rd parties for my treatment so far (Gregory Clarke).
My file number: TSM06858 DOB: 03 MAY 1983
Regards,
Greg Clarke.
Giorgia & I sent half a dozen emails back and forth. The tl;dr was that I was not willing to delay treatment any further while waiting for the DVA & Giorgia would find out what paperwork I would need to fill out if I did want to attempt to be reimbursed by the DVA. We setup a Skype chat to discuss in person.
Had a skype chat with Giorgia from Incite Solutions Group. I explained my frustration with the DVA requiring me to get another GP referral in order to get treatment from a psychologist. To be clear, I do not need a GP referral to get treatment from a psychologist in Canada. This was a requirement of the DVA alone and would again delay my treatment as I would need to book an appointment with my doctor and take time to work. I told Giorgia that I had reached out to local psychologists to begin sessions. I told her I was not willing to delay my treatment any further just to satisfy DVA bureaucracy. I would rather pay for the sessions I can afford out of pocket. Giorgia was understanding.
I visited by GP for an unrelated issue and took the opportunity to get a psychotherapy referral as requested by the DVA.
Hey Giorgia,
I hope youāre enjoying your summer. I had to visit the doctor for another issue so I asked her for a psychology referral.I will be seeing her next year for my annual checkup. Please let me know if I need some other paperwork from her.
Cheers,
Greg.
Giorgia responded
Hey Greg,
Hope you are enjoying cooler weather than us. I hope all is okay? Thanks for sending the referral through.
I have liaised with DVA Health Approvals in regards to your Psychology treatment and received this response:
Thank you for your recent request for approval for the Department of Veteransā Affairs (DVA) to fund treatment for Mr Gregory Clarke. The psychologist can submit a prior approval request with clinical information about the treatment and a quote ā this way DVA seek confirmation that the client is eligible and create a guarantee of payment for the provider. They will then simply submit their invoice as per the letter instructions and the client will not be out of pocket.
Alternatively I have confirmed that it is ok if the client does not have an Australian bank account ā the reimbursement team will submit owed payments into the clients international account when the details are supplied.
As you can see from the response highlighted, DVA have advised that there is an option for your Psychologist to complete a Prior Approval Request Form (which I have attached in this email) about the treatment and a quote of how much their sessions cost. The Psychologist would then need to submit an invoice to DVA and you wonāt have to pay out of pocket. So going down the route of a Prior Approval may be more ideal as this way you donāt need to pay out of pocket.
I think it might be a good idea to link in over Skype in January next year before you see the Psychologist so we can run through how they need to complete the Prior Approval Form. I will be back at work on January 6th, so we could link in on Tuesday 7th at 8am my time, or alternatively on Friday 10th January same time.
Hope you have the opportunity to relax over Christmas and New Year.
Warm regards,
Giorgia
The DVA responded to my Freedom of Information request for 3rd party treatment costs. The Australian DVA has so for far paid $8,782.40 to 3rd parties for my treatment however I have not yet received any treatment. This cost doesnāt include DVA staffing, costs incurred by me directly, or costs incurred by Public Health Ontario for the required doctors appointments.
Document created in accordance with section 17 of the Freedom of Information Act 1982 (Cth)
FOI reference number: FOI 33349
Request details: The total amount the DVA has paid to 3rd parties for my treatment so far (Gregory Clarke)Total Amount Paid (Incl. GST) $8,782.40
My treatment would have cost a fraction of $8,782.40
Georgia was attentive and let me know when she was back from her holidays
Hi Greg,
Hope you had a nice holiday period. I just wanted to advise that I am back from leave now.
Let me know if there is a morning this week or next week (other than Wednesdays) that works for you to link in?
Warm regards,
Giorgia
Georgia and I had a Skype catch up. Nothing much had changed, Iām still on some waiting lists to see a psychologist. Itās a busy time of year for psychologists. I told Georgia about the techniques I had been trying and shared the limited success of the prescribed sleeping tables.
Dr Sarah had prescribed me Zopiclone, (3.75-7.5mg). When medicated I would sleep for 5 hours but then I would wake up as normal. The sleep I had while using them wasnāt restful sleep, I would still be tired in the morning even if I had slept through the night. I returned to Dr Sarah for other options. Unfortunately she said most medications only work for 5 hours. But we tried another type in case I had better luck. I took 50mg of Trazodone HCL two nights in a row. However, they had no obvious affect and I had two terrible nights sleep.
Reached out to another few psychologists to see if their wait lists had moved. No luck yet.
I had a really rough day. Lots of bad thoughts and it was a catalyst that I needed to get some help soon. Iāve been doing lots of mindfulness but itās not enough. I need to talk to someone. I had a look at the resources provided by my work and I emailed another few psychologists in my area. Something desperately needs to change.
One of the psychologists that I reached out to said she was full but referred me to her colleague who was currently accepting. I reached out and I have an appointment next Wednesday. I forwarded the psychologists details to Giorgia asking if the DVA would contribute. Either way I will pursue treatment and will pay out of pocket instead of waiting for the DVA to respond.
In typical fashion, Giorgia quickly responded. She is dealing with the DVA for me.
Hi Greg,
Glad to hear youāve been able to organise an appointment with Dr āāāāāāā.
I have just emailed her to discuss whether she would be happy for us to do a pre-approval for payments - this would mean DVA would directly pay for her fees without you paying out of pocket, but it can take some time for DVA to make payment, so I would just need to check if she is comfortable with this. If not, we could go down the reimbursement line and you can pay out of pocket and then DVA would reimburse you.
I will let you know once I hear from her with the time difference.
Hope you have a nice weekend.
Warm regards,
Giorgia
Today was the beginning of my treatment. Dr āāāāāāā was kind and I spilled some of troubling memories that were floating in my head. Iāll see her weekly and weāll churn up these memories that are slowing me down. I left Dr āāāāāāāās office feeling light and hopeful. Itās been a long journey. I am lucky and grateful to have had so many people help and support me. Diana, friends, family, DVA staff, & Giorgia from Incite Solutions, I can not thank you enough.
Hello Giorgia,
The last couple of months have been really tough and I appreciate everything youāve done to help me. It was such a relief to chat with Dr Dorota today. I was really struggling, a lot more than I wanted to admit. Today, with your help, I started dealing with my issues. I sincerely thank you, youāve saved me.Have a wonderful week Giorgia,
Greg.
I have had 10 treatments with my psychologist. Treatment wise, everything is going well and my sleep has greatly improved. I still have a long way to go however. Unfortunately it turns out that my psychologist still hasnāt been paid and that continued treatment would be out of pocket.
Hi Greg,
Apologies for all the emails.
I wanted to flag I received a response back from Dr āāāāāāā and she has not received payment for your sessions from Veteransā Affairs Canada (VAC) yet. I have directed her to call VAC to see if they are able to advise her on this matter, as when I have reached out to Australian Health Approvals, they have not been able to look into this as it sits with VAC.
I wanted to check in and see whether you feel it would be financially viable to pay for sessions yourself if you felt you needed further treatment after the 12 sessions? It can take quite significant time for DVA to make payments and I am not sure on the exact arrangements with VAC on timeframes.
Iām just wanting to confirm you would still be able to access sessions from a financial perspective, as I appreciate Dr āāāāāāā may not be able to continue to provide sessions until she has received payment, unless you are paying yourself. Let me know your thoughts?
Warm regards,
Giorgia
I responded
Hello Giorgia,
yes, if necessary I will pay out of pocket. Iāve come pretty far and donāt want to lapse :)
Cheers,
Greg.
Iām not really sure how this happened but I am now in a position where I have to pay out of pocket for further treatment.
Hi Greg,
Thank you kindly for returning the signed closure report and confirming you would be able to pay out of pocket. I do hope that VAC are able to reimburse Dr āāāāāāā soon.
It has been lovely working with you over the past 6 months and I wanted to take another opportunity to reflect back on the progress you have been able to make since starting on program. It is great to hear that you feel you have come far and I hope you are able to continue on that journey.
Of course, please feel welcome to reach out to DVA should your circumstances change or if you felt it would be beneficial to be re-referred to us.
All the best and take care.
Warm regards,
Giorgia
I responded
Cheers Giorgia, thanks for all your help :)
Hi Greg,
Apologies for this back and forth. I was hoping Dr āāāāāāā would be able to resolve payments with VAC.
She advised she spoke with Veterans Affairs Canada (VAC) and they have indicated you need a VAC number, which is a 7 digit number starting with a K. We do not have this on our end and she was told that you would need to contact VAC to open up a file.
Are you happy to call VAC to assist Dr āāāāāāā with this?
I have re-attached the original treatment approval letter from DVA should you need this and the email is fowarded below.
Warm regards,
Giorgia
Veteran Affairs Canada is meant to facilitate the payments through a deal they have with the Australian Department of Veteran Affairs. Apparently I need a VAC number from Veteran Affairs Canada but their phone system doesnāt work so they suggest using the secure chat. But you need a VAC number to use their secure chat.
Now I fear Iām going to be out of pocket a couple of thousand. I emailed Veteran Affairs Canada to see if they can help.
Hello,
I am an Australian Army veteran living in Canada. For the past few months I have been receiving treatment from a psychologist in Canada. My treatment plan was approved by the Australian Department of Veteran Affairs and payment to my psychologist is facilitated by Veteran Affairs Canada. My psychologist was told that I require a VAC number for Veteran Affairs Canada to process the payments. How do I get a VAC number? When I attempt to call there is no answer even though I am calling in office hours. The website says to use the secure chat however I do not have a file number etc to create an account to start a chat.
Cheers,
Greg.
It seems they responded without reading my email
Dear Greg Clarke,
Thank you for your inquiry and for visiting the Veterans Affairs Canada web site.
The best way to inquire further about services, programs or benefits offered by Veterans Affairs Canada would be to contact Veterans Affairs by telephone at 1-866-522-2122.
If you are calling from outside of Canada our contact numbers are as follows:
Toll-Free from the USA 1-888-996-2242
Toll-Free from United Kingdom, Germany, France, Belgium 00-800-996-22421
Collect from all other countries outside of Canada (613) 996-2242Staff at this number will be able to answer any questions you may have.
Although we cannot control the content of e-mail messages sent to Veterans Affairs Canada, we do control the content of e-mail messages sent to external clients. We do not transmit information that may qualify for an exemption or exclusion under the Access to Information Act or the Privacy Act.
Sincerely,
Carissa āāāāāāā
Veterans Affairs Canada
information@canada.ca
www.veterans.gc.ca
I later received a letter in the mail which contained a file number. I used the file number to log into My VAC and I now have access to some more support. I also sent them requested proof of identity which they required to create my K number.
Hi Mr. Clarke,
Iām just writing to let you know that we have successfully created a file number, or K number, for you. It is āāāāāāā.
I have forwarded the invoices from Dr. āāāāāāā to Medavie Blue Cross for processing.
Thank you, I hope all is well!
Sheila āāāāāāā Veterans Service Agent Foreign Countries Operations
Now my psychologist can start getting paid after waiting 5 months.
My 12 sessions offered by the DVA have run out. There is an option to get more sessions but Iām unable to invest any more time or energy into getting further support from the DVA. Today was my first out of pocket treatment.
My psychologist still hasnāt been paid by VAC. So it turns out I will need to invest more time and energy into the DVA / VAC.
Good morning Greg,
I just called VAC to follow up and check on the payment status. The lady was unable to find you on the system (!). She suggested that I ask you to call them directly to check. She gave me a number for the National Contact Centre 866-522-2122, but perhaps you already have a number which you have called before. Could you please check on the status of the payment for me? My VAC provider number is āāāāā.
Thank you very much in advance, Greg.Dr. āāāāāāā
I called and a friendly staff member from VAC helped out. She was initially unclear on the process and said that I would need to organise this though the Australian DVA. I was a little frustrated. I spent 30 mins on the phone and now someone will email me with more details. The saga continuesā¦
Today I received a thick envelope from Medavie Blue Cross. The thought of filling out pages of new paperwork filled me with dread. However the contents surprised me. Inside was a Veterans Affairs Canada Services and Benefits booklet and my Veterans Affairs Canada card. It was a huge relief to receive this little piece of plastic. Thank you to everyone that has made this possible.
My psychologist still hasnāt been paid for sessions dating back to April.
Hello Greg,
I hope you are doing well. I am following up to see if you could check in with Sheila about the remaining balance. I called about 3 weeks ago, spoke with someone who tried to reach her, and I did not get any answers as to the progress. I am still awaiting payment for the following 6 session dates:
Apr 8, 15, 29, May 13, June 3 & 24, totalling $1170.
Please let me know what you find out.
Thank you.Dr. āāāāāāā
I reached out to VAC to see if they could assist
Hey Team, my psychologist is still waiting for $1170 of payments for 6 sessions dating back to April. The missing dates are Apr 8, 15, 29, May 13, June 3 & 24. Can someone please follow up on this and let me know when itās been actioned? Cheers, Greg.
They responded a few days later
Dear Signalman (Retād) Greg Clarke,
Thank you for using My VAC Account and our secure email services.
In review of the information we have from Medavie Blue Cross (MBC), the only payment currently on file for Psychological Services is:
11-08-2020
$1,170.00
Dr āāāāāāā PSYCH. P.C. (āāāāāāā, OTTAWA, ON, āāāāā)For services dated:
- 05-02-2020
- 13-02-2020
- 05-03-2020
- 25-03-2020
- 01-04-2020
(INVOICE #: 2020Ā02, 2020Ā03, 2020Ā04, 2020Ā05, 2020Ā06)
VAC is only able to see MBCās completed treatment benefit claims; if you would like to review the status of an in-progress claim, please contact MBC at 1-888-261-4033, or visit MBCās portal at www.medavie.bluecross.ca/MyInfo
MBCās portal allows you to:
- View your claim status, explanations, and claims archive;
- Find a list of registered providers;
- Find claim forms and other documents;
- Find your coverage details; and
- Request a replacement card (or print a temporary card).
(Note: To access the above links, please copy and paste the URL into the address field at the top of your internet browser. Alternatively, you may highlight the URL, then right-click on it and select to go to that page.)
If you have any further questions or concerns, please contact us again via My VAC Account or our toll-free number, 1-866-522-2122.
Sincerely,
Melody āāāāāāā
National Contact Centre Network Analyst
Veterans Affairs Canada
I called the number given (1-888-261-4033) but got this error āYou have dialed a number that cannot be reached from your dialing areaā. I called the phone number on the Blue Cross website (1-800-355-9133) but the assistant wasnāt able to help with my account because itās federal. I called both phone numbers on my card (1-888-996-2242 & 1-613-996-2242) but got a message saying they closed and to contact them between 7am & 9pm Atlantic time, I was calling at 7pm Atlantic time.
I also tried to contact them though their website but ran into this error when signing up for Blue Cross My Info.
There is no other way to contact them.
I canāt believe that Iām still having to deal with this BS months after the DVA / VAC cut me off from treatment. I have wasted so many hours and so much energy getting āsupportā from the DVA / VAC. I truly regret asking them for help.
After a few emails back and forth, Sheila from VAC sorted it out for me.
Hi Greg,
I just got off the phone with Dr. āāāāāāā, and confirmed we have every invoice but June 24, 2020. She is going to forward that one to me, so we can get everything up to date. Iāve let her know Iām working on this.
Iāve sent an urgent request to Medavie Blue Cross to review these outstanding invoices. I suspect that there was some confusion about where the invoices had to go, as they look like normal Canadian invoices but they need to be sent to the FCO section of Medavie. Iāve brought it to Medavieās attention that this seems to be the case, so that they can rectify the issue. Iāll let you know if I receive any updates regarding this.
I hope you had a great weekend, and are doing well! Sheila
Sheila was great and followed up which I really appreciated.
Good morning Greg,
Just a quick email to let you know that yesterday morning I heard from two (!!) VAC reps - one of them Sheila. They seem to be on the ball now. I wonder if your post on social media contributed to that. Thank you for your help on this.
Dr. āāāāāāā
I reached out again a few weeks later to confirm my psychologist has received their payments. Once confirmed, I made another freedom of information request to see how much the DVA had paid to 3rd parties for my treatment.
Hello,
I am formally requesting;
1) The total amount the DVA has paid to 3rd parties for my treatment so far (Gregory Clarke).
My file number: TSM06858 DOB: 03 MAY 1983
Regards,
Greg Clarke.
DVA responded with $13,986.50AUD. This does not include internal costs incurred by either the DVA or the VAC.
Document created in accordance with section 17 of the Freedom of Information Act 1982 (Cth) FOI reference number: FOI 39313 Request details: The total amount the DVA has paid to 3rd parties for my treatment so far (Gregory Clarke, TSM 06858). Total amount paid (incl GST) $13,986.50
My psychologist was paid $2,340CAD (~$2,433AUD). The DVA spent 5.7 times the cost of my treatment on 3rd party expenses for assessments etc that delayed my access to treatment. Again, this figure does not include internal costs incurred by either the DVA or the VAC.
Most Australian DVA & VAC staff are great however the organisations are failing veterans. If I had known that it was going to take nearly 11 months to be assessed for treatment, I would have organised help elsewhere and would started treatment months earlier. It pains me knowing that my mates with more severe issues are having to deal with this level of service. Asking for help is the hardest step and the Australian DVAās promise of help with slow or no follow through is unbearable. Unfortunately I have veteran friends that have committed suicide. I honestly believe that they might still be here if the DVA had helped them.
For Australian veterans in similar situations consider applying for Non-Liability Health Care (NLHC). DVA pays for treatment for certain mental and physical health conditions without the need for the conditions to be accepted as related to service. It may result in quicker treatment. No one at the DVA told me about this option, someone on Reddit mentioned it.
# Prince Edward County Property ShoppingRecently I wrote about my theories on the impending de-urbanization of Canada. This weekend, I decided to put my money where my mouth is. Diana and I visited Prince Edward County to look at real estate. The ideal investment for us is a 3-6 acre rural residential waterfront property close (15 mins) to the 401. There were a few options including a cabin previously owned by authour Farley Mowat. Unfortunately, none of the properties we visited were the one for us. We are in no rush and have a strong BATNA.
We were backed up on our real estate adventure with Dianaās parents who have some experience house shopping. Diana booked us an entire bungalow described as peaceful and quiet for the four of us via AirBnB. After visiting some wineries we arrived at 4pm to find a large house with many cars parked in the drive way. Once checked in we realized that we would be sharing the bungalow with the owners, not a big deal. The rooms were large and oddly shaped as is expected with AirBnB rentals. We were settling in to our room and then around 4:30 we heard loud feedback like someone was tuning a mic system. Shortly after the singing started and we realized that there were other AirBnB guests staying on the property and they were having a karaoke party in the basement below our room. It was loud enough that we needed to speak in a raised voice to hear each other. I measured the noise at 70db in our room, the same level as a vacuum cleaner. We raised the issue with the host and she said they would be quiet at 11pm. This was clearly not what we had agreed to and after some discussion the host offered us a refund. Our next AirBnB, Loyalist Lofts, was accurately described and perfect. Loyalist Lofts have apartments in Bloomfield, Picton, & Wellington. The apartments are cheaper if you donāt book though AirBnB.
Once we were settled in to the new space, we initiated a refund with the original host however AirBnB kept a $60 service fee. We reached out to AirBnB support and even after we explained the situation they still objected to giving us the full refund. We pressed the issue and were eventually refunded the service fee but given no compensation for our hassle, time, and the cost of the second late booking.
Previously my experiences with AirBnB had been positive and I was really disappointed that my first grievance with them was handled so poorly. After googling the issue I found that their poor treatment was common. For example banning people for reviewing outside the app or making legitimate chargebacks. Why do companies that rely on the reputation economy like AirBnB & Uber, care so little about upholding their own reputations? Especially given that the majority of their tech can easily be replicated. The only unique thing these companies own is their reputation. Uberās first year since going public should be a warning to other tech companies.
# Musk de-urbanizationAdmiral Elon Musk with his fleet of companies will de-urbanize Canada. Cities are great at storing people. Utilities, transport, & infrastructure are efficiently centralized. However Canadian cities are ripe for disruption.
People need electricity, internet, & water to live comfortably. These utilities are easily accessible in cities. Elon Musk is solving two of those problems in a distributed way, electricity & internet. Distributed water in the form of well water is already a solved problem in Canada.
SolarCity is a subsidiary of Tesla that specializes in solar energy services. Paired with Teslaās battery technology, every house has the potential to be off the grid or grid positive. You only need enough solar panels to get you through winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. And while being north means short days in winter, most Canadians donāt live very far north. Parts of Canada are at the same latitude as Northern Greece and Toronto is at the same latitude as southern France.
Starlink is a satellite constellation development project underway by Muskās SpaceX company, to develop low-cost, high-performance internet connections. SpaceX plans to deploy nearly 12,000 satellites in three orbital shells by the mid-2020s. Satellites will initially have 20Gbps bandwidth with the ground and that will likely increase with new versions. The satellites will communicate with each other using lasers so the inter-satellite network will not be limited by their ground communication bandwidth.
Again, Canadaās latitude and population density will make Starlink very attractive. Because of the nature of low earth orbits, Canada will have the same Starlink satellite density as Europe and a higher satellite density then Starlinkās likely largest customer, the United States. The bandwidth bottleneck is the satelliteās ground communication, lower population density will mean more bandwidth for each user. Canada will have high speed satellite internet covering the majority of the country and with speeds that increase as you move away from cities.
There has been very little increase in the speed of cars over the last 80 years. Cars have become much safer & efficient however the reaction time of the ape at the steering wheel has been the limiting factor for speed.
Tesla is leading the way in all-electric apelessly driven cars, AKA self driving cars. Self driving cars will be capable of much higher speeds while continuing to increase passenger safety. Self driving cars will also reduce traffic by self rerouting for congestion. Car trips that currently take 2 hours in peak hour traffic will be reduced to less than an hour once a critical mass of vehicles are self driving. Shorter travel times make distances less relevant when choosing where to live. A house in the country will be effectively as close to downtown Toronto as much of the current urban sprawl.
Tesla isnāt just interested in moving people. Tesla Semi, an all-electric semi-trailer truck, will have a range of 800km and come standard with Tesla Autopilot. Self driving trucks will bring the services of the city to the country.
The Boring Company is an infrastructure and tunnel construction company founded by Elon Musk in early 2017. According to Musk, the companyās goal is to enhance tunneling speed enough such that establishing a tunnel network is financially feasible. Tunnels specifically built for electric vehicles have reduced size and complexity, and thus decreased cost.
āThe insight I think thatās so powerful is that if you only envision electric vehicles in your tunnels you donāt need to do the air handling for all carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, you know, basically pollutants for exhaust.ā
- Tesla and SpaceX board member Steve Jurvetson.
Canadian winters are hard on road infrastructure. If Musk can make tunnel boring cheap enough, it may be a cost effective way of building new roads in Canada.
*When compared to the average canadian property value
Full disclosure, Iām a techno optimist. I believe that if Elon Musk doesnāt solve these problems, someone else will.
I initially made this prediction in 2017 in my Codex Vitae.
# Cannabinoids Experiment ResultsThis morning was the last day of a 42 day experiment with sleep and cannabinoids. My hypothesis was that low dose cannabinoids taken orally before bed would increase my sleep quality. The sleep quality metric was being measured using my Mi Band 3. Here are the results;
From the graph above itās evident that the experiment was a success but I will do more thorough analysis when I have some free cycles. In the meantime, here is the raw data;
[
{'date': '2019-06-05', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 83},
{'date': '2019-06-06', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 80},
{'date': '2019-06-07', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 79},
{'date': '2019-06-08', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 80},
{'date': '2019-06-09', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 66},
{'date': '2019-06-10', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 72},
{'date': '2019-06-11', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 64},
{'date': '2019-06-12', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 81},
{'date': '2019-06-13', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 81},
{'date': '2019-06-14', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 66},
{'date': '2019-06-15', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 67},
{'date': '2019-06-16', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 79},
{'date': '2019-06-17', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 84},
{'date': '2019-06-18', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 83},
{'date': '2019-06-19', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 84},
{'date': '2019-06-20', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 85},
{'date': '2019-06-21', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 71},
{'date': '2019-06-22', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 60},
{'date': '2019-06-23', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 83},
{'date': '2019-06-24', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 87},
{'date': '2019-06-25', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 71},
{'date': '2019-06-26', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 74},
{'date': '2019-06-27', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 60},
{'date': '2019-06-28', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 78},
{'date': '2019-06-29', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 86},
{'date': '2019-06-30', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 79},
{'date': '2019-07-01', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 88},
{'date': '2019-07-02', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 88},
{'date': '2019-07-03', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 75},
{'date': '2019-07-04', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 80},
{'date': '2019-07-05', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 88},
{'date': '2019-07-06', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 83},
{'date': '2019-07-07', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 85},
{'date': '2019-07-08', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 69},
{'date': '2019-07-09', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 82},
{'date': '2019-07-10', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 82},
{'date': '2019-07-11', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 85},
{'date': '2019-07-12', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 74},
{'date': '2019-07-13', 'experiment_period': True, 'sleep_reading': 66},
{'date': '2019-07-14', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 81},
{'date': '2019-07-15', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 77},
{'date': '2019-07-16', 'experiment_period': False, 'sleep_reading': 86}
]
If we had hard metrics relating the impact of [using social media] on bottom line, our current technopoly would likely crumble. - Deep Work by Cal Newport.
Cal Newport raises an interesting concept that deserves testing. I created Memair DNS in order to test the effect of social media. In my first experiment I tested self reported happiness for 60 days. The results were alarming.
There is possible bias introduced by my preconceptions. However with these results, I can confidently conclude that social media is having a negative effect on my happiness.
Facebookās network effect makes it difficult to leave. There is, however, value in my Facebook network so I donāt want to delete my account. I have opted to encourage communication via email by changing my profile pic to email instructions.
I will change my habits and check Facebook once a week on Fridays. Eventually moving to once every 2 weeks and then once a month.
# Experimenting with CannabinoidsI donāt mean to brag but I used to be really good at sleeping.
That changed after returning from Afghanistan in 2011. While deployed, I was on an 8 hours on 8 hours off sleep cycle. It was basically months of being jet lagged.
I have no trouble getting to sleep however I struggle to stay asleep. Often I wake up around 4am and stay awake for a couple of hours before dozing off again.
These insomnia spells often occur in sequence and I start to struggle by the third day of poor sleep. I want to fix my sleep.
This experiment will help me determine if low doses of cannabinoids assists my sleeping. As with my previous experiment, I am declaring the experiment before seeing the results to keep me honest.
Hypothesis
Low dose Cannabidiol (CBD) & Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) taken orally before bed will increase sleep quality as measured by a Mi Band 3 using the Mi Fit sleep points metric.
Experiment
The experiment will be separated into 3 day experiment blocks and 3 day control blocks. The subject will take 10mg CBD & 10mg THC via 2 capsules prior to bed on experiment days. No other cannabis products will be consumed during the experiment period. The subject will wear a Mi Band 3 and use the Mi Fit app to track sleep quality.
The experiment will start on the 5th of June and run for 42 days. 42 day experiment length addresses weekly seasonality with 3 day experiment blocks. The results & calculations will be published on GitHub.
I welcome any feedback, comments, or advice on experiment design. Make a prediction in the comments below!
# San Francisco Day Trip # Self Experimentation with Social MediaSelf experimentation helps me become the best version of me. Declaring my experiments before seeing the results keeps me honest. This is the first of many planned self experiments.
Hypothesis
Exposure to social media is negatively correlated to self reported happiness.
Experiment
I will use Memair DNS on my computer & mobile device to pseudorandomly block social media on 50% of days. Every morning of the experiment, I will self report my happiness on a scale from 0 to 10 using Memair emotions. The nature of the pseduorandonly blocking leads to runs of blocked days followed by runs of unblocked days. In order to counter cross-over effect, the first two days after a state change (from blocked to unblocked or vice versa) will be ignored.
The experiment started on the 4th of May and will run for 60 days. The results & calculations will be published on GitHub.
I welcome any feedback, comments, or advice on experiment design. Make a prediction in the comments below!
# $1 a Month Personal VPNRussia has recently threatened to block popular VPN services unless they join a state IT system that contains a registry of banned websitesĀ¹. In response, here is a quick tutorial on how to setup a personal VPN for $1 a month. Personal VPNs have advantages over shared VPN services because they are harder for governments to block & you do not share an ip address with possible nefarious users so you get less annoying āAre you a robotā questions.
Prerequisites: being comfort in shell (feel free to reach out in the comments below if you have any issues)
There are a few providers that offer $1 Virtual Private Servers. I chose FDC Servers (no affiliation) because they offered servers located in Spain. You donāt get much for $1 but weāre just creating a glorified web router so 1990ās specs are fine. Once I signed up I was provisioned a VPS running Ubuntu with a 5Mbps unmetered connection, 128MB RAM, 10GB SSD, 1 external IP, & 1 CPU Core. It took a couple of hours for them to spin up the box.
greg ~ $ssh root@198.16.x.x
root@198.16.x.x's password:
Welcome to Ubuntu 12.04.5 LTS (GNU/Linux 3.2.0-74-generic x86_64)
* Documentation: https://help.ubuntu.com/
System information as of Fri Mar 29 15:16:55 CDT 2019
System load: 0.06 Processes: 70
Usage of /: 13.5% of 8.86GB Users logged in: 0
Memory usage: 52% IP address for eth0: 198.16.x.x
Swap usage: 0% IP address for tun0: 10.8.0.1
Graph this data and manage this system at:
https://landscape.canonical.com/
New release '14.04.1 LTS' available.
Run 'do-release-upgrade' to upgrade to it.
Last login: Fri Mar 29 15:15:49 2019 from 204.101.x.x
root@118456:~# uptime
15:16:57 up 0 min, 1 user, load average: 0.06, 0.01, 0.01
root@118456:~# free -m
total used free shared buffers cached
Mem: 112 102 9 0 31 29
-/+ buffers/cache: 41 70
Swap: 1023 9 1014
Because of the incredibly low specs, the server was provisioned with Ubuntu 12.04.5 LTS. Itās not ideal to run an end of life version of Ubuntu. However for $1 & for the purpose of a VPN, itās ok.
For some reason the server didnāt have itās DNS name servers set. If you use another service you probably wonāt have this issue. I quickly added dns-nameservers to network interfaces;
Edit /etc/network/interfaces with
sudo nano /etc/network/interfaces
and append dns-nameservers 8.8.8.8 8.8.4.4 to the bottom of the eth0 entry.
Then I was able to run an update (this may take a while).
sudo apt-get update && sudo apt-get upgrade -y
Nyr has created an awesome script that takes care of all the hard work of configuring OpenVPN. All we have to do is download & run Nyrās script and then answer some questions.
wget https://git.io/vpn -O openvpn-install.sh && bash openvpn-install.sh
To make it more difficult to block access to our personal VPN we will leave the hostname blank. Instead we will connect via an ip address so that our VPN canāt be blocked at the DNS level. We will also choose TCP on port 443. https uses TCP on 443 making it hard to distinguish your traffic from regular web traffic.
Welcome to this OpenVPN "road warrior" installer!
I need to ask you a few questions before starting the setup.
You can leave the default options and just press enter if you are ok with them.
First, provide the IPv4 address of the network interface you want OpenVPN
listening to.
IP address: 198.16.x.x
This server is behind NAT. What is the public IPv4 address or hostname?
Public IP address / hostname:
Which protocol do you want for OpenVPN connections?
1) UDP (recommended)
2) TCP
Protocol [1-2]: 2
What port do you want OpenVPN listening to?
Port: 443
Which DNS do you want to use with the VPN?
1) Current system resolvers
2) 1.1.1.1
3) Google
4) OpenDNS
5) Verisign
DNS [1-5]: 1
Finally, tell me your name for the client certificate.
Please, use one word only, no special characters.
Client name: client
Okay, that was all I needed. We are ready to set up your OpenVPN server now.
Press any key to continue...
The script will do some magic and create a file called client.ovpn (or whatever you choose as your client name).
You can run the bash script again to create more ovpn config files for other users or devices.
bash openvpn-install.sh
Looks like OpenVPN is already installed.
What do you want to do?
1) Add a new user
2) Revoke an existing user
3) Remove OpenVPN
4) Exit
Select an option [1-4]:
copy client.ovpn to your local machine. An easy way to do that is to use the cat command to output the contents of the file and then copy and paste it to a local version.
root@118456:~# cat client.ovpn
client
dev tun
proto tcp
sndbuf 0
rcvbuf 0
remote 198.16.x.x 443
resolv-retry infinite
nobind
persist-key
persist-tun
remote-cert-tls server
auth SHA512
cipher AES-256-CBC
setenv opt block-outside-dns
key-direction 1
verb 3
<ca>
-----BEGIN CERTIFICATE-----
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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<key>
-----BEGIN PRIVATE KEY-----
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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</key>
<tls-auth>
-----BEGIN OpenVPN Static key V1-----
01234567890abcdef0123456789abcde
01234567890abcdef0123456789abcde
01234567890abcdef0123456789abcde
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</tls-auth>
Install an OpenVPN client on your Mac, Android, Windows, or iOS device and add the client.ovpn file.
You can ensure youāre safely connected to your VPN by visiting ipleak.net and checking for DNS leaks. Leaks occur when DNS requests are not tunnelled through the VPN. If you identify leaks, ensure that DNS settings are not manually set in your network settings.
# Better RecommendationsLately Iāve been working on Memair, a tool to give you access to your data. Weāre releasing a new product, a video recommender for YouTube videos. Iād appreciate any feedback you :) And if you have kids who watch YouTube, please consider becoming a beta tester.
# Being CanadianCanada has been my wonderful home for 5 years now. As an Australian, it was an easy cultural transition. After a couple of vocabulary changes, I felt like I comfortably fit in. Recently, I had a rare unpleasant experience while selling our boat on Kijiji and it felt very un-Canadian.
The experience got me thinking about the essence of being Canadian.
In general Iāve found that liberals concern themselves with impact while conservatives are more interested in intent. For instance in gender nomenclature, liberals are concerned with using terms that will have the least negative impact on the individual being addressed. Whereas conservatives regard the terms used as irrelevant as long as the intent was not meant as an insult. Both styles of communication are legitimate, one puts the onus of insult on the sender and the other on the receiver. Problems arise when people discount the other form of communication resulting in the perception of liberal snowflakes and heartless conservatives.
A jerk is a person that expects others to judge them on their intent while simultaneously judging others on their impact. For instance, the driver that gets annoyed when they get cut off and also annoyed when others wonāt let them aggressively merge.
In my experience Canadians are wonderful, the exact opposite of jerks. Canadians focus on the intent when receiving and impact when delivering. Canadian communication manifests itself in interesting ways. For instance, Canadians commonly say āhappy holidaysā but wouldnāt be insulted if someone said āmerry christmasā no matter their religious persuasion. Canadian communication makes it difficult to insult a Canadian or be insulted by one, no matter what your communication style. While this trait isnāt universally or uniquely Canadian, Iāve found it very common here.
My experiences are from Ottawa so Iām interested if others share this view of Canada. Leave a comment below with your Canadian experience; please include your origin and where in Canada you were.
# IPv9Troll news videos (with surprisingly high production value) are making the rounds regarding IPv9. Hereās the tl;dr of Internet Protocol.
The first production Internet Protocol was IPv4 (previous versions existed but were not adopted). IPv4 had about 4.3 Billion (2Ā³Ā²) addresses. With the rise in the popularity of the Internet, it quickly became clear that we would run out of IP addresses.
IPv6 fixed this issue by having many more addresses. 2Ā¹Ā²āø or 3.40 x 10Ā³āø or 340, 282, 366, 920, 938, 463, 463, 374, 607, 431, 768, 211, 456. To put that in perspective, there are trillions of IPv6 addresses for each square millimeter of the Earths surface. Even considering the possibilities of nanobot technology, IPv6 will likely be sufficient, at least with regard to IP addresses allocation for many more years.
IPv9 was initially an April Fools joke published in 1994 by the Internet Engineering Task Force. Then some poorly researched news articles starting surfacing in 2004 about Chinaās new generation of IPv9 network technology. It was quickly dismissed by more thorough tech journalists. One of the funniest improvements in IPv9 was a further increase in the number of available IP addresses. 2Ā²āµā¶ or 1.16 x 10ā·ā· or 115, 792, 089, 237, 316, 195, 423, 570, 985, 008, 687, 907, 853, 269, 984, 665, 640, 564, 039, 457, 584, 007, 913, 129, 639, 936. Thatās more ip addresses then there are atoms in our Galaxy. While I commend their forward thinking, itās a little over the topā¦ for now.
Here is a spreadsheet showing the numbers of IP addresses each protocol has per thing.
Please check my work in the spreadsheet and ping me if Iāve made an error
# Greg vs FacebookFacebookās winning :(
# Raspberry Pi Time Machine (2021 update)2019-01-02 Updated after comments from Guy
2019-07-21 Updated after comments from Bastiaan
2019-12-14 Updated after comments from AlexWiseman & Nick
2020-01-03 Updated after email from Ron
2020-02-11 Updated after comment from Stefan
2021-06-03 Updated after comments from Pdnellius & Chris Smith
Install Raspbian Buster Lite on the SD card. Follow the instructions on the Installing images tutorial on the Raspberry Pi site. Then enable SSH. Insert the SD card into the Pi, plug in the USB hard drive, plug in a network cable, and power on the Pi.
Next set a static IP address for your Raspberry Pi. Depending on your setup, you can either set the Pi to have a manual ip address or have your router assign a static IP address.
Login to your Pi via SSH or old school with a keyboard & monitor. Run raspi-config to make any changes you want like changing hostname etc.
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo raspi-config
And update your Pi
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo apt-get update && sudo apt-get upgrade -y
Install hfsutils & hfsprogs
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo apt-get install hfsutils hfsprogs
Format USB hard drive to hfsplus. This will erase all data on the USB hard drive.
Note: this assumes your USB hard drive is sda2
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo mkfs.hfsplus /dev/sda2 -v TimeMachine
Create mount point
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo mkdir /media/tm && sudo chmod -R 777 /media/tm && sudo chown pi:pi /media/tm
Determine the UUID of your USB hard drive (sda2)
pi@timemachine:~ $ ls -lha /dev/disk/by-uuid
pi@timemachine:~ $ ls -lha /dev/disk/by-uuid
total 0
drwxr-xr-x 2 root root 120 Sep 3 00:17 .
drwxr-xr-x 8 root root 160 Sep 3 00:17 ..
lrwxrwxrwx 1 root root 15 Sep 3 00:13 3725-1C05 -> ../../mmcblk0p1
lrwxrwxrwx 1 root root 10 Sep 3 00:17 6525d832-1a97-35a5-92a4-345253fcfd00 -> ../../sda2
lrwxrwxrwx 1 root root 10 Sep 3 00:17 67E3-17ED -> ../../sda1
lrwxrwxrwx 1 root root 15 Sep 3 00:13 fd695ef5-f047-44bd-b159-2a78c53af20a -> ../../mmcblk0p2
In my case the UUID is 6525d832-1a97-35a5-92a4-345253fcfd001.
Edit fstab to mount the USB hard drive
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo nano /etc/fstab
and append this line (replacing 6525d832-1a97-35a5-92a4-345253fcfd00 with your specific UUID determined above).
UUID=6525d832-1a97-35a5-92a4-345253fcfd00 /media/tm hfsplus force,rw,user,noauto 0 0
It should end up looking something like this
proc /proc proc defaults 0 0
PARTUUID=d159f393-01 /boot vfat defaults 0 2
PARTUUID=d159f393-02 / ext4 defaults,noatime 0 1
UUID=6525d832-1a97-35a5-92a4-345253fcfd00 /media/tm hfsplus force,rw,user,noauto 0 0
Test that mounting works as expected
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo mount /media/tm
pi@timemachine:~ $ df -h
Filesystem Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on
/dev/root 15G 1.4G 13G 10% /
devtmpfs 484M 0 484M 0% /dev
tmpfs 489M 0 489M 0% /dev/shm
tmpfs 489M 13M 476M 3% /run
tmpfs 5.0M 8.0K 5.0M 1% /run/lock
tmpfs 489M 0 489M 0% /sys/fs/cgroup
/dev/mmcblk0p1 43M 22M 21M 51% /boot
/dev/sda2 699G 300M 668G 0% /media/tm
tmpfs 98M 0 98M 0% /run/user/1000
should show a line like /dev/sda2 699G 300M 668G 0% /media/tm
Note: we are not automatically mounting this USB hard drive as mounting USB on startup can be flakey
Install prerequisites
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo apt-get install netatalk -y
and ensure everything worked
pi@timemachine:~ $ netatalk -V
netatalk 3.1.12 - Netatalk AFP server service controller daemon
This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under
the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by the Free Software
Foundation; either version 2 of the License, or (at your option) any later
version. Please see the file COPYING for further information and details.
netatalk has been compiled with support for these features:
Zeroconf support:
Avahi
Spotlight support:
Yes
afpd:
/usr/sbin/afpd
cnid_metad:
/usr/sbin/cnid_metad
tracker manager:
/usr/bin/tracker daemon
dbus-daemon:
/usr/bin/dbus-daemon
afp.conf:
/etc/netatalk/afp.conf
dbus-session.conf:
/etc/netatalk/dbus-session.conf
netatalk lock file:
/var/lock/netatalk
Edit nsswitch.conf
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo nano /etc/nsswitch.conf
append mdns4 and mdns to the line that starts with hosts. It should end up looking something like this.
# /etc/nsswitch.conf
#
# Example configuration of GNU Name Service Switch functionality.
# If you have the `glibc-doc-reference' and `info' packages installed, try:
# `info libc "Name Service Switch"' for information about this file.
passwd: compat
group: compat
shadow: compat
gshadow: files
hosts: files mdns4_minimal [NOTFOUND=return] dns mdns4 mdns
networks: files
protocols: db files
services: db files
ethers: db files
rpc: db files
netgroup: nis
Finally edit afp.conf
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo nano /etc/netatalk/afp.conf
and append
[Global]
mimic model = TimeCapsule6,106
[Time Machine]
path = /media/tm
time machine = yes
Launch the two services
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo service avahi-daemon start
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo service netatalk start
Edit crontab
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo crontab -e
and append
@reboot sleep 30 && mount /media/tm && sleep 30 && umount /media/tm && sleep 30 && mount /media/tm && sleep 30 && service avahi-daemon start && service netatalk start
Note: this mount / unmount / mount flow is required as HFS+ partitions may become read only if unmounted incorrectly. The 30 second sleeps give the USB hard drive time to spin up and become mounted before the avahi-daemon & netatalk services start
Reboot your pi
pi@timemachine:~ $ sudo reboot
Connect to server
Login creds will be the same as your ssh creds on the pi
Note: default creds username: pi & password: raspberry
Open the Time Machine settings and you should see your new network time machine server
References: this is an updated version of a How to Geek article with some tweaks for flaky USB hard drives and updates for the latest packages.
If your drive becomes read only you can try either changing the permissions of the directory
sudo chown pi:pi /media/tm
or forcing fsck.hfsplus to check and repair journaled HFS+ file systems
sudo fsck.hfsplus -f /dev/sda1
We start to get ready for our crossing back to the US!
On the boat chores list: -adjusting the rigging with our friend Joe from Barefoot Adventures -replacing the incandescent masthead navigation light with an LED bulb -fix the wiring to the new LED bulb!
We started to plan our route back. Our first jump was from Hopetown to Green Turtle Cay. Green Turtle Cay is very quaint, with colourful houses and friendly people. We visited the main settlement, New Plymouth, and wandered into the memorial sculpture garden and the museum.
We were waiting for the perfect weather window to cross into the States, as we had limited use of our motor. Green Turtle Cay was a great place to stage.
Credits: āSummerā from The Four Seasons - Antonio Vivaldi āJosie Has the Upper Handā by Josh Woodward
# Visiting a Loyalist Settlement, Hopetown Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 37This week we explore Hopetown in the Abacos!
A loyalist settlement, Hopetown is a charming area, with colourful houses and winding pathways. The most famous landmark in the area is the Elbow Reef Lighthouse. The only remaining hand cranked kerosene lighthouse in the world, itās candy striped exterior only further enhances Hopetownās charm.
A big industry in Hopetown was wrecking, which was the practice of salvaging shipwrecks on the barrier reef. When the lighthouse was erected, the wrecking industry ceased to exist.
Joe from SV Barefoot Adventures came over to help us with our drive leg. Unfortunately nothing could be done, but he confirmed our diagnosis that the seal and the bearings needed to be replaced.
We remembered Anzac Day with a dawn service at the cholera cemetery, and made some Anzac biscuits with our Sunflair Solar Oven.
Credits: Opening Scene from Scrubs āCoffeeā by Josh Woodward http://JoshWoodward.com āCuteā by Bensound http://www.Bensound.com/royalty-free-music
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Snorkeling on a Bahamian Reef in the Abacos (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 36Credits: āMapsā by Kara Keith āHeartbeatā by Kara Keith
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Conch Feast in Spanish Wells, Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 35We left Hatchet Bay and traverse Current Cut on our way to Spanish Wells. Current cut is aptly named, as the current can be fierce through the cut - up to 10 knots. Ideally we would have traversed it at slack tide with an opposing current to assist steering, but we were still limited in our use of the engine, so we sailed through on a downwind run. Even though we were only going 2 knots through the water, our speed over ground was over 6 knots; we had 4 knots of current with us. We timed slack tide off of Nassauās tide table and added a couple of hours (itās stated in Active Captain). However, because we had scrubbed the bottom in the previous episode, Catsaway flew along - and we reached the cut too quickly! It all ended well, however. :)
We turned north towards Spanish Wells and enjoyed some fantastic upwind sailing. Winds were between 15-24 apparent and Catsaway flew along since the sea state was minimal. We motored through the town and then anchored on the north east side of the island. We were joined by friends on Jennabird, Laura Belle, St. Nick, and Barefoot Adventures. Laura Belle unfortunately grounded making her way into the anchorage, but we were able to assist her by pulling the halyard until the boat heeled.
Spanish Wells is a very pretty place, with colourful houses and beautiful gardens. We explored our surroundings, which included a fun fish aquarium of sorts, and a beautiful beach. Greg found a huge amount of adolescent conch. We admired them, but did not take any as they were too small to be harvested.
We were forecasted to get some heavy weather while we were there and for once, the weather predicition was right. Greg dove on the anchor to make sure we were set for the next couple of days and came up with two large adult conch. He went down one more time and came back with a third. It was time for a conch feast!
We tried several methods of harvesting the conch without damaging the shell. First was freezing the conch (which we had done in a previous episode). This should have worked except that we were too eager when pulling the conch out and the claw ripped off. We ended up using two forks to pry the rest of the animal out.
Next, we tried pouring vodka in the conch. This method is supposed to relax the conch into releasing the foot. Unfortunately it seemed to make them even stronger! We resorted to the freezer method once again. We tried a noose method, but the conch would just pull itās claw out of the noose and fall to the floor. Apparently youāre supposed to use a fish hook, but that seemed a little cruel.
Once we had all the animals out, we had to clean and prepare the conch, which includes cutting off the foot and the head, and skinning the animal. We then chopped it up into very fine pieces for the fritters. We made a dipping sauce out of mayo, mustard, lemon juice, sriracha and spices and it was delicious with our golden brown fritters. Thanks for the recipe, Gayle!
We loved Spanish Wells and would have liked to spend more time there (our time on the island was limited because of those severe thunderstorms), but an ideal window was opening for our crossing to the Abacos, so we left with the rest of the gang on an early Wednesday morning.
Credits:
Drone Footage:
Eleuthera Bahamas - https://youtu.be/BuSF7cUt6JU Bahamas Sothebyās International Realty - https://youtu.be/brSPDF1EkSU
āSwipesy Cakewalkā by Eās Jammy Jams āEverybodyās Gameā by Kara Keith
# Swept away (almost) in Eleuthera (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 34This week we decided to take advantage of uncooperative winds and played tourist!
We sailed to Hatchet Bay, known as āThe safest harbour in the Bahamasā. We hitchhiked to Hatchet Bay Caves with some new friends, who shared some local knowledge and introduced us to a tamarind tree. Afterwards, they thought it was too hot for us to walk, so they dropped us back by our boat. What lovely people!
Our friend Emmett (who runs the convenience store near the dinghy dock) kindly offered to take us to the windward side so we could explore the beaches. He was collecting sand for his house project, so we had an hour to explore. We climbed up a giant sand dune, to find a beautiful beach on the other side. It was a great spot for collecting sea glass and we soon had more than we could hold.
The next day, we rented a car with buddy boat Jennabird. We went to the Glass Window Bridge (the narrowest part of Eleuthera), where you see the contrast between the open ocean and the peaceful sound. Afterwards, we continued to Harbour Island and enjoyed the quaint architecture and the gorgeous pink sand. We rented a golf cart and Greg LOVED driving it!
After our adventure, we met some new friends on St. Nicolas de Sauzon and Barefoot Adventures and we all went out for pizza.
Next stop: Spanish Wells!
Credits: Drone Footage courtesy of Barrett and Robert on St. Nick (the beautiful catamaran in front of us!)
Opening scenes of Catsaway coming through the cut courtesy of Harry and Alicia from Jennabird
āWinds of Springā by the 126ers āIf I Had a Chickenā by Kevin MacLeod āLovable Clown Sit Comā by Sir Cubworth
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Crossing the Gulf Stream (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 39This week the crew of Catsaway plans their crossing across the Gulf Stream.
With a compromised engine (cracked heat exchanger) and a malfunctioning drive leg (broken seal), we had to be very careful planning our route back to the States. While many people were crossing on calm days, those were no longer accessible for us as we needed a certain amount of wind to sail. We ended up waiting a couple of weeks for a good amount of southern wind to blow us across. We had just sat through howling north winds, so we gave the ocean a few days to calm down.
We used fastseas.com to plan our route and used weather apps WindFinder and PredictWind to help us plan our passage.
We staged from Green Turtle Cay to near Grand Cay. This was the last island with good cell phone reception so we could continue to receive weather updates. Due to our engine limitations, we decided to anchor directly on the banks with an āislandā for coverage. This island turned out to be a mostly submerged rock which gave us no coverage at all from the sea state. We prepared for our journey in less than ideal conditions. Diana baked a loaf of bread, a pot of dahl, tuna salad, popcorn, sliced up cheese with crackers and baked some cookies. It sounds like a lot of food but we actually managed to finish it all during our 36 hour passage from near Grand Cay to Port Canaveral.
After a windy and bumpy night, we set off from Grand Cay. The timing was tricky on this one as we wanted to leave late enough to give the ocean a chance to calm down after all the northerners, but we still wanted to hit a certain speed of southern wind. Unfortunately we miss timed our journey, as shortly after departing, we ran into extremely calm winds across the banks, which immediately set us behind. Eventually we made our way to the edge of the banks where the wind picked up as we hit our first squall. Greg was drenched and we reached our new top speed of 13.3 knots surfing a wave (I wouldnāt want to do that again). Winds were variable after the squall and eventually picked up so we were cruising about 4.5-5 knots of speed.
Unfortunately winds became variable again at night and shifted north earlier than expected. We kept the sail up as long as we could, but eventually turned on the motor as we got closer to Port Canaveral.
Rules for crossing:
We also took Bonine the night before and gave some to the kitties as well. It worked great for all of us!
We crept into Port Canaveral around 3pm. As we were entering the inlet, a submarine was departing. It was such an eerie sight - it looked like a small building on the water. We blinked and it was gone. It was hard to believe something so huge was descending quickly below us.
After being spoiled with the crystal clear waters of the Bahamas, it felt a little sad to come back to more opaque and polluted water. However, we were looking forward to some hot showers and lattes.
# Exploring Eleuthera in the Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 33This week, we leave Cat Island and travel to Eleuthera.
Due to light winds, we ended up stopping in Little San Salvador for one night. We were trawling lines behind us and both lines went off at the same time; rewarding us with two bar jacks. We gave the larger one to Jennabird and ate the smaller one + lobster that evening. Delicious! Little San Salvador is very commercialized; the cruise lines use it as a stop along the way. Plastic huts line the shores, along with a bar that looks like a shipwreck. Cruisers are asked to stay on their boats until the cruise ship has departed. Cruisers are meant to ask permission before landing on shore and walking on the beaches.
The next day we had a slow downwind sail to the southern tip of Eleuthera. This was one of the most beautiful anchorages we had visited. Crystal clear water surrounded by pink sand beaches and massive limestone caverns made for stunning surroundings. We would have loved to stay there longer, except the winds werenāt quite in our favour and we were getting rolled beamside. We left early the next morning for Rock Sound.
The settlement of Rock Sound was very sweet. The people are very friendly and the town offers several restaurants, grocery stores and most importantly - a laundromat! Time to do laundry; we had only hand washed clothes for the previous 6 weeks. Fresh sheets felt amazing!! Rock Sound is also home to natural attractions such as the Ocean Hole and the Cathedral Cavern. We met some new friends in Rock Sound and also were surprised by some older friends - Providence and Life of Chill. We had a fun dinghy drift on our last evening there, before gathering for drinks on Providence.
We left Rock Sound to visit Governorās Harbour. After a slow start, the wind finally picked up for us to fly into the anchorage. After trying six times to anchor, we finally pulled back hard and thought our anchor was set. Wrong! Our friend Phil from Tanager dove on his anchor and informed us that our anchor was caught on an old mooring block. Greg dove on it the next day and found a mess - anchor on a mooring block, chain just overtop of electrical cable, coral and underneath some sponges. He ended up manually resetting the anchor before pulling back on it with our dinghy.
We really enjoyed Governorās Harbour, it was a beautiful area to explore. Unfortunately some high winds were expected and we didnāt trust the holding there, so we departed for Hatchet Bay. En route, we were visited by some friendly dolphins who were disappointed by our lack of speed. Time to scrub the bottom!!
Credits: āConjuto Grandeā by Biz Baz Studio āSplashing Aroundā by The Green Orbs āEntireā by Quincas Moreira āNaturalā by Endless Love āLazy River Ragā by Dan Lebowitz
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Sailing Cat Island, Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 32This week we relax and explore Cat Island.
We anchored outside of Rolleezz Resort. Carl and Yvonne are very welcoming to cruisers and encouraged us to hang out at the resort and use the facilities. We borrowed a couple of bikes and headed into Old Bight. Cat Island has a lot of history; many plantations were established here. The church in Old Bight is still in service and was the first church for freed slaves in the Bahamas.
The next stop was New Bight and there was a lot to explore. We visited The Hermitage, a medieval style monastery hand built by Father Jerome. The ruins of a great plantation house also remain. We treked the 2 miles to the windward side in search of sea beans (we didnāt find any) and sea glass (we found a lot!). There is a lot of garbage on the windward beaches, but the Bahamas is doing something about it - they are banning the use of single use plastics and styrofoam by 2020.
After New Bight, we made the jump to Orange Creek. The reefs around Orange Creek are spectacular - we could see the colour from the waters surface! It felt rejuvenating to be around this much live coral and sealife; we realize now that many reefs we have visited are in the process of being bleached. The documentary Chasing Coral is a good explanation on why this is happening. www.chasingcoral.com
Greg finally speared his first lobster on the last day of lobster season!
We spent the evening in Arthur Town, enjoying the Cat Island Humane Society Benefit. Thanks to all our friends there for their assistance in our cat emergency last episode.
Film Credit of our acro performance from Harry and Alicia on Jennabird. Photo of our acro flight with little ones by Barb Baumann.
Credits: Happiness - Ben Sound https://BenSound.com Funny Song - Ben Sound https://BenSound.com Fix You - Cold Play The Next (Instrumental Version) - Josh Woodward https://JoshWoodward.com Wholesome - Dave Depper Acoustic Breeze - Ben Sound https://BenSound.com Sunny - Ben Sound https://BenSound.com
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Cat-astrophe! onboard kitty emergency (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 31This week we leave Long Island and Hercie gets sick.
We sailed from Calabash Bay to Rum Cay. The coral heads at Rum Cay are over 20 feet high; unfortunately most of these reefs are dead. They were ravaged by hurricanes and much of the sea life is gone. The next day, we sailed up to Cat Island.
Hercie had vomited the night we arrived at Rum Cay. We noticed he was listless and so were keeping an eye on him. He quickly deteriorated and stopped eating and drinking. He was straining to urinate and was vomiting bile. We went ashore to try and find an animal clinic for him but learned that there was none on the island.
Diana started writing to clinics in Nassau, and they all confirmed that Hercieās situation was dire and that he needed emergency care right away. After much help from the local community, we managed to book Diana on a flight to Nassau.
Hercie was treated immediately by Dr. Allen and the staff at the Happy Pets Animal Clinic. They inserted a catheter and an IV, and Hercie was resting comfortably by that night.
Diana stayed two nights in Nassau because she couldnāt get on a flight back to Cat Island. This meant Greg had to single hand the boat to our new anchorage at Old Bight.
Carl from Rolleez Resorts kindly organized for his wife Yvonne to pick Diana and Hercie up from the airport. Finally we were all together again!
Credits:
Video footage of Catsaway from Harry and Alicia from Jennabird āOn Brevityā by Josh Woodward āLittle Tomcatā by Josh Woodward āTogether on our Ownā by Josh Woodward
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Long Island, Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 30This week we explore Long Island, Bahamas.
We motor sailed down with a flotilla of boats. We made good time and pulled into a nice flat anchorage in Thompson Bay. We started some boat chores immediately; Greg began with replacing the zinc in the heat exchanger, and then we changed the transmission oil.
Thompson Bay has a nice regatta site, grocery store and marine supply store. Lucky for us, they had a portable VHF radio for sale; we needed one after accidentally submerging our previous VHF. Though it was a pricey investment (as the price point in the Bahamas is much greater), we were willing to buy it since the VHF is an important piece of safety equipment, especially since we travel long distances in our dinghy.
We enjoyed a bus tour of Long Island with the Cruisers Rally and visited landmarks such as the Hamilton Caves, Deanās Blue Hole, the Adderly Plantation and the Columbus Monument.
After moving to the quiet and clear waters of Calabash Bay, we decided to scrub the bottom of Catsaway. Due to being at anchor for longer periods and the warm waters of the Bahamas, we have had to scrub her weekly to keep up our speed. Luckily, her shallow draft meant that we could pull close enough to shore so that scrubbing wasnāt such hard work.
Long Island was our southern most destination and the halfway point of our trip. We are started to head back north to Canada.
Credits: āCoffeeā Instrumental by Josh Woodward āShe Dreams in Blueā Instrumental by Josh Woodward āOne Step Closerā from YouTube Media Library āPick up Your Trashā by Doug Edwards & āThe Mojoā
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# George Town Cruising Regatta & sailing to Long Island (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 29This week we enjoy the Georgetown Cruisers Regatta!
We participated in the coconut challenge and the downwind inflatable dinghy race. Our rig for the sailing race was a shower curtain, connected to two boat hooks. Though our design was simple, it worked very well and we actually ended up placing third. It was so much fun that we wished the race would have continued for longer. We collected 59 coconuts in the coconut challenge and captured 12 coconuts in the toss. The winning team collected over 100 coconuts!
We developed a routine during our 3 weeks in Georgetown - collecting water, propane, grocery shopping and community events. Diana held a few yoga classes a week (weather permitting), and we enjoyed meeting new friends and hanging out with old ones.
We decided to leave to Long Island shortly after the cruisers regatta was over. Goodbye Georgetown! Thanks for the fun.
Engine Problems
The heat exchange on our Westerbeke 30b is leaking. The engine is drinking coolant and we have observed coolant coming out the exhaust when we start the engine. The engine is not using oil and the oil has remained clear so itās not likely to be a head gasket. The leak is slow and once weāve filled the engine we have a few hours of run time before we need to add more coolant. Itās not a big deal, itās just a hassle at the moment.
The prop on our Sonic Sillette MK2 drive leg is leaking oil. The leak is slow however recently the drive leg oil has become milky which suggests that sea water is also leaking in. Weāve contacted the manufacturer and they said that itās ok in the short term. Weāve also reduced how much we use our drive leg and now sail off and on anchor in most cases.
Weāll be heading to Fort Pierce in Florida in early May 2018 and would like to get the work done. Please contact us if you have any recommendations.
https://SVCatsaway.com/contact
Live Map
https://SVCatsaway.com/map
Credits: Video credits of Catsaway sailing - Harry and Alicia from Jennabird Video credits of the Downwind dinghy race - Kay and Bruce from Laura Belle
āMorning Coffeeā by Christine Jakel https://youtu.be/6SybLKR5igM āStorm Cloudsā by Christine Jakel āLagos 2050ā by South London HiFi
# Exploring George Town in the Exumas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 28This week we explore Georgetown!
Georgetown is located on the island of Great Exuma, and was the largest settlement we had seen within the Exumas. It is also a very popular spot for cruisers; there are often more than 200 boats anchored by Stocking Island.
There are several restaurants, resorts and shops located within Georgetown and we splurged on some food and drink. We also reconnected with our friends from Jennabird, Be As You Are, and Spiraserpula. We explore the historic Crab Cay with them, and saw the ruins of the plantation, as well as the remains of a failed development. It felt a little sad to see how much infrastructure had been built up before the development was shut down.
Chat ān Chill is a home base for cruisers; people gather there in the afternoons for volleyball or other activities. Yoga, water aerobics and meetings are held in the morning. Our favourite part of Chat ān Chill were the cats! The restaurant takes care of several cats, who are friendly and personable. They even joined us for yoga.
Our friends from Seas Life (for Good - check our their vlog!) and Intrepid helped us make a conch horn with the shell we had saved from our previous episode. It turned out great!!
Special thanks to Harry and Alicia on Jennabird for video footage.
Credits: āDespacitoā cover by Brigit OāRegan https://youtu.be/0SEwUZzJhOc Youtube: Brigit OāRegan Instagram: @brigitfiddle
āDespacitoā cover by Cats (Varieties of the world) https://youtu.be/vbDNYHG7NKg
āKick this Cityā by Kara Keith https://soundcloud.com/userkarakeith/kickthiscity?in=userkarakeith/sets/kkep_2007
# Coconuts & Conch in the Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 27This week SV Catsaway travels to Rudder Cut Cay.
Rudder Cut Cay is home to two beautiful caves, reefs, amazing scenery and a mermaid sculpture. The water and surrounding environment here is stunning; it was one of our favourite anchorages. There is a strong current here, so snorkel at low slack tide. We found our first conch here. The shell was so beautiful that we wanted to keep it, so we froze the conch in order to get it out without breaking the shell. After freezing it, we thawed it in the bucket of warm water before grabbing the claw and starting to ease the conch out. This method worked great! Greg then had the dirty job of skinning and cutting the conch, which was slimy and challenging to hold. He hammered it well to tenderize it, and then we fried it in breadcrumbs and butter; our version of cracked conch.
We continued to Lee Stocking Island a few days later. Lee Stocking Island was the home of a marine research centre. Unfortunately funding for this centre ended in 2012 and the institution was shut down. So much equipment was left behind that it seemed like people packed up and left within 24 hours. We saw the remains of several nice houses and good road infrastructure, including a surviving airstrip. We hid from a decent blow here and amused ourselves by collecting coconuts. We had no machete, so used a knife and a hammer instead - success!
After a few days in Lee Stocking, we continued to Barreterre, a small settlement in the north part of Great Exuma. The community makes Barreterre very special and we enjoyed our stay. If you need vegetables, ask for Sam and Louella Smith. They grow excellent tomatoes and cabbages.
Until next time!
Credits:
āStronger Than Youā cover by Brigit OāRegan Youtube: Brigit OāRegan Instagram: @brigitfiddle
āCoconut Womanā cover by Jeffrey Sings
# Dragging Anchor in the Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 26DRAGGING ANCHOR!
We had anchored at Black Point with south winds about 15 knots. Overnight the winds spun around to the north. We spent the morning doing chores (laundry and water). After returning to the boat, we started preparing lunch when we realized our buddy boat Jennabird was right behind us. Greg radioed them to let them know we were dragging and we prepared to pull up anchor and reset it. However, our dinghy rode became stuck in our propeller, and Greg had already pulled up the anchor to undo the bridle - we REALLY started dragging. With some quick thinking we undid the line around the prop and carefully navigated ourselves away from Jennabird. Phew!
Later on that day we went spearfishing with our friends from Boreas and Spiraserpula. We visited an absolutely stunning reef on the northwest corner of the bay. Unfortunately we didnāt take any footage, but Greg speared his first lionfish there! We carefully prepared it by cutting off the venomous dorsal, anal and pectoral fins. It was delicious!
The next day we travelled to Farmerās Cay for the First Friday in February Festival at Farmerās Cay (FFFFF). This was one of our favourite experiences, as the people at Farmerās Cay are very welcoming. Also, there were a ton of cruisers! We even met Shaun and Julia (from Shaun and Julia Sailing). We enjoyed watching the wooden Bahamian sailing vessels and even got invited to perform some acro by Ty (from Tyās Sunset Bar and Grill).
After the festival was over, about 60% of the cruisers left. We stayed to enjoy the island and explore some caves. The caves are a little tricky to find; one of the landmarks is a āpile of rocksā. Head to the pile that is more north and youāll see a buoy and a bunch of shoes lining the path. The cave was stunning - crystal clear fresh water, cool and refreshing after our hike in the sun.
Next week we travel to Rudder Cut Cay and dive down to a mermaid.
Credits: āMorning Mandolinā by Chris Haugen āDirty Macā by Endless Love āReleaseā by Josh Woodward
# Pigs, Sharks, & Caves in the Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 25This week the crew of SV Catsaway explore Big Majors Island and Staniel Cay.
Due to incoming strong northeast winds, we decided to anchor by Big Majors (pig beach), as it had good reviews for northeasterly protection. We arrived on a calm day and dove on our anchor before the blow. Being on a Gemini, we took advantage of our shallow draft to anchor close to shore for extra protection, but we wanted to make sure we wouldnāt drag. After diving on our anchor and saying hi to our friends on Jennabird and Be As You Are, we swam directly from Catsaway to visit the pigs.
There are at least 30 pigs on Pig Island. Some are more friendly and aggressive than others. Visitors should remember to put food in the water for the pigs to eat and not on the sand - too much sands in their bellies is bad for their health (and unfortunately there have been pig deaths because of it). The piglets are awfully cute and beg for food even though they are on a special diet. There is a hut to offer shade and fresh water tanks for them. They live a very happy life!
One day during the blow, in our excitement to visit the pigs, we failed to notice that our dinghy was floating away. Thank goodness we noticed before it was too far! Greg heroically swam out to rescue it and had his workout for the day. Our friends from Spiraserpula generously donated a small anchor for our dinghy and so we said goodbye to the anchor shaped rock who had helped us out in the interim.
Thunderball grotto is a beautiful limestone cavern filled with many types of fish. Finding the entrance is an adventure in itself; the winding path teases with fish darting around and leading you to the apex of the cavern itself. We visited the grotto with our friends Harry and Alicia from Jennabird. There is a strong current; visitors should wear fins and visit at low slack tide.
We breakfasted the next morning at the Staniel Cay Yacht Club, as the blow was coming later that day. We enjoyed a delicious breakfast, and Diana tried the Bahamian staple of tuna and grits. We then explored the cay with our friends, and found several stores (which Greg has added to google maps). We also took the opportunity to meet some docile sharks behind the yacht club. All of us were in the water and taking the moment to appreciate these beautiful and wild creatures.
Here are some of the things we did to prepare Catsaway for the blow: Dove on the anchor 9:1 ratio of anchor rode Tying up the sailbag securely Wrapping extra line around our roller furling in case of accidental deployment Drawing our jib sheets tight and securing them Creating a bridle (rope spliced to a ring that is tied to our rode with a rolling hitch. Two lines lead from our front outside cleats) Tying off our boom to one side so that it wasnāt swinging back and forth Lifting our dinghy up on our davits instead of using a tow line
Our preparations worked, as we did not drag in 40+ gusts of wind. Thank goodness!
Credits: A big thank you to Harry from Jennabird for Grotto footage of us
āAcoustic Folk Instrumentalā by Hyde āOink Oink Oink: by Julien Hoang āReleaseā Instrumental Version by Josh Woodward
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# Sailing the Exumas in the Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 24This week Catsaway sails through the upper Exumas!
We begin at Highbourne Cay, where we finally put some fins on our dinghy. Since we only have an 8 HP outboard, we sometimes struggle to get up on a plane with two of us plus baggage. The fins were straightforward to install and we have enjoyed an easier plane ever since.
We also had our first real Bahamian snorkeling experience in Highbourne Cay. There are a few reef rocks located by shore in the Eastern anchorage. Though small, these reefs are well populated and worth a visit. We felt like we were visiting an aquarium! We were also lucky to be snorkeling with marine biologists Gayle and Bill from buddy boat Spiraserpula, who generously answered any questions we had.
Next stop was Normanās Cay, where we explored a submerged plane wreck. Left behind from drug smuggling days in the 80ās, the animals in the sea have now made it their home. It was quite a magical experience. Note that there is a strong current, so we would suggest visiting the site at low slack tide. The edges of the wreck are ragged, sharp and rusty; we didnāt feel comfortable exploring the inside with such a strong current buffeting us.
After our snorkel, we went spearfishing - didnāt catch any fish, but we did see a GIANT eagle ray raise itself from itās sand bed. The tail was 8 feet long, and the wing span more. It was scary and amazing at the same time.
Now that we were in crystal clear waters, Diana dove on the anchor - fun to do when you can see all the way to the bottom!
The next day we sailed to Shroud Cay, in order to collect water from an old fresh water well. Fresh water will collect in a lens floating above the sea water. Early travelers took advantage to create and maintain a well thatās been in service for over 100 years. The cement wall was built by a caretaker in 1927 and still stands. We used a steripen UV-C light to purify the water before putting it in our containers.
We were expecting 35+ knots so we hurried down to Warderick Wells, the headquarters of the Exuma Land and Sea Park. We hiked up Boo Boo Hill with friends Katherine, Olivier and baby Charles from sailing vessel Boreas. We had scrounged a tiny piece of driftwood from the park and roughly scratched our name in it. Weāll do a better job on the way back! The creativity of the boaters was beautiful to see.
Next episode, follow us to explore Staniel, Blackpoint and Farmerās Cay!
See our current location at https://svcatsaway.com
Credits:
āThe Nestā Instrumental Version by Josh Woodward āMapsā by Kara Keith
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
Need Cat Stuff? https://SVCatsaway.com
Credits:
# Sailing to the Exumas in the Bahamas (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 23SV Catsaway finally made it to the Bahamas!!
After a few weeks away from the boat, we finished provisioning and preparing for the crossing. We waited for an ideal weather window - light winds and definitely nothing coming the North. We checked multiple weather sources, including a meteorologist friend. The day was forecasted to be winds of 10-15 knots coming from the east. It would be blowing directly against us, but we went with it anyways.
We left Dinner Key Marina with buddy boats Bandera and Be As You Are at 3:00am. Crossing Biscayne Bay was dark and quiet. Going out the inlet was a strange experience - swells that are close together and gradually getting bigger that you canāt see - you can only feel. We headed south for the first part of our journey, as the Gulf Stream would be gradually pushing us north. It was clear when we got into the stream; our southern motion stopped being so extreme and started showing in the charts as an easterly heading.
Even though we had waited a couple of days to let the stream die down, it was still choppy and confused. There was no regularity to the swell and wave pattern, which gave us the feeling of being in a washing machine. Both of us became seasick, but managed to shake it off as the journey continued. Catching 3 tuna certainly helped perk us up!
After about 13 hours of motoring, we pulled into the Blue Water Marina in Bimini. Greg went off the boat to customs while Diana cleaned up. Everything went smoothly and when Greg came back, we celebrated by raising the Bahamian courtesy flag, and eating our fresh fish. The cats also enjoyed dinner!
The next day, we anchored north of the marina and explored Bimini. We also went to BTC to get our data plans sorted out, and stopped at the local liquor store to buy some cheap rum. Surprise surprise - our one tank of propane ran out, so we went to get it filled up. Figures!
We wanted to stay in Bimini longer, but the perfect weather window was opening to cross the banks. We left the next morning at 7am to meet buddy boats Bandera, Be As You Are, and Jennabird. While leaving the marina, Bandera had issues with the prop. We offered to wait while Michael dove on the prop, but they told us to go ahead. Unfortunately we had to part ways as it was discovered that Bandera needed an entire new propeller shaft.
We continued across the banks with Jennabird and Be As You Are. At first the winds were against us, but they eventually clocked around to a close reach and we put up full sail and stopped the engine. The 15-20 knot winds continued, switching to a beam reach and then a broad reach - and Catsaway took off. She rewarded us with over 8 knots of speed and we had an exhilarating sail to Northwest Point, where we anchored for the night.
We woke up to our anchor alarm going off - we were dragging anchor! However, our anchor was normally good at resetting itself, so we increased the radius and went back to sleep. Unfortunately the anchor had other ideas and we reluctantly pulled ourselves out of bed to properly reset the anchor. Second time was great, and we quickly fell back asleep.
Dawn came bright and early with calm winds. On the way to Chub Cay, winds picked up from the west, which gave us a nice downwind sail. It had been a while since we had properly sailed and it felt wonderful.
Chub Cay is a privately owned island that boasts a marina and a couple of restaurants. Our friends on Be As You Are organized a group dinner at the only local restaurant on the cay. We were picked up in an extended golf cart, and enjoyed cracked conch, lobster tail, peas and rice and salad. We also enjoyed a strong cocktail called a Smooth Sailing - we were all hoping to leave the next day for New Providence, so we had our fingers crossed that the cocktail would equal the weather for the following day.
Alas it was not to be - we left Chub Cay to north winds forecasted between 10-15 knots. The sea state gradually built as we sailed further from land and we ended up with swells of 9 feet and apparent winds of 28 knots. We reefed the sails, and still got over 9 knots of speed. Catsaway was sailing on a broad reach towards Rose Island and we attained a new top speed of 13 knots surfing a wave! We pulled onto the lee side of Rose Island to calm waters and a quiet anchorage. Phew!
After a couple of days enjoying Rose Island, we again had an excellent weather window to cotninue to Highbourne Cay. North winds of 12-18 knots were forecasted and held true. We reached Highbourne Cay in a few hours and were greeted by nurse sharks and crystal clear waters. We had finally reached the Exumas!
Credits: Ukulele Beach - Doug Maxwell
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Need Cat Stuff? https://SVCatsaway.com
# Dog Rescue, Provisioning, & Miami before our voyage (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 22Catsaway rescues a dog! We arrived in Miami and had a great time exploring South Beach and visiting with friends. After several days anchored by the Venetian Causeway, we moved to a mooring ball at Dinner Key Marina. We had just moored when we heard a dog barking on a neighbouring boat. Greg looked up just in time to see the dog jump into the water. We thought it was cute, but then realized that the dog couldnāt get back up to the boat by herself, and that no one had seen her go in. She started swimming towards land, with only her little head above water. The wind was 15-20 knots and there were white caps on the water, which made it difficult to keep an eye on her. We quickly launched our dinghy and went after her. As soon as she saw us, she switched course and started swimming towards us. Greg hauled her up on the dinghy, and we turned around to check to see if her owner was on board. After calling several times, we decided it was best to take her to the marina so they could contact her owner. After several days of not knowing (and us considering adopting her!), it turns out that her owner had unexpectedly ended up in the hospital. The staff at Dinner Key Marina did a great job of taking care of Honey, giving her fresh water, toys and even air conditioning when it became hot outside. :)
We completed the pet paperwork for the Bahamas. 1) Fill out the form 2) Get an INTERNATIONAL money order from the post office - price per pet ($10) + facsimile return ($5) + VAT (7.5%) 3) Sign up for EFax.com so you can receive incoming faxes for free 4) Mail the form and the international money order to the Department of Agriculture (use the address thatās on the website, NOT the one on the form) 5) We sent our application on a Thursday and received the faxed permit on Monday.
Next up on our list was provisioning! Below is a rough list of what we bought: -Paper products (paper towel, toilet paper) -Maintenance supplies (oil, filters, coolant) -Cleaning supplies (dish and laundry soap, dust cloths) -Canned goods (tomatoes, pasta sauce, soups, vegetables, meats, seafood) -Dried goods (rice, beans, milk powder, lentils, flour, sugar, salt, popcorn, coffee, tea etc) -Oils and spices -Tinfoil, tupperware, plastic wrap -Long lasting fresh produce (squash, cabbage, citrus, plantains, potatoes, etc) -Fishing supplies (lures, lines) -Extra lighters for our stove -Cat food -Extra thru hull plugs -Splash Zone epoxy for emergency repairs (this epoxy cures underwater) -Self cleaning supplies (shampoo, soap, baby wipes) -extra fuses, sail slides -Beer -Probably more that we canāt remember
It was a job in itself getting all this stuff to the marina, then onto the boat. Next time, we would likely pay for a slip so we could walk to the boat directly. Luckily the marina shuttle was running, otherwise it would have been several trips back and forth on the dinghy.
Weāre all set for the Bahamas!
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Need Cat Stuff? https://SVCatsaway.com
Credits: Credits Love Struck by Eās Jammy Jams Creative Commons ā Attribution 3.0 Unportedā CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
# A Day on the Intracoastal Waterway (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 20A typical day on the ICW (Intracoastal Waterway):
Wake up Feed the cats Check the oil Warm up the engine Set up the tablet:
Credits:
āMorning Coffeeā by Christine Jakel āStorm Cloudsā by Christine Jakel https://soundcloud.com/hristineakel
# Sailing Chesapeake Bay! (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 19This episode we leave Chesapeake City and continue heading south.
Our first destination was Annapolis - we had heard many great things about the city that was known as the sailing capital of North America. We had a great motor sail down the Chesapeake with our buddy boat Bandera. We anchored in the Severn River and took the dinghy in to get tokens from the Harbourmaster (we desperately needed to do laundry and have showers). Unfortunately we arrived too late to buy tokens, but a nice lady on a neighboring yacht let us borrow some of hers.
The next day we headed to Fawcettās Boat Supplies to buy a sail repair kit, as our genoa had sustained damage in our rough sail between Atlantic City and Cape May. We also took the opportunity to provision and check out the many sailing yachts that are kept in Back Creek. We stopped by Helly Hansen to enhance our rain gear (Greg bought a jacket, Diana bought waterproof pants) and wandered around downtown Annapolis. We treated ourselves to an all you can eat seafood and raw buffet - it was delicious!
We left Annapolis and traveled to St. Michaels, on the recommendation of a viewer. It was a short sail over in light winds, and the weather was sunny and beautiful. On the way over, we noticed we were out of propane, so our first priority upon reaching St. Michaels was to fill our tank. Luckily Greg managed to find a place to fill it and we were back in business. St. Michaels is a beautiful little town, with a lot to see and do. We followed the crab walk, read up on some history, shopped and visited the winery. The chocolate zinfandel is amazing!
We left St. Michaels early the next morning and headed towards Solomons. We anchored near our buddy boat Bandera, who had arrived there earlier in the day. We replaced our outhaul in preparation for a longer sail the next day.
From Solomons, we had a great weather window to head south so we decided to try to make as much distance as possible. We left early in the morning, surrounded by about 20 other sailing vessels. Catsaway does her best sailing at a beam reach, broad reach and downwind, so she quickly left the sailing group behind and shot ahead. We managed to do 62 nautical miles, even though we we fighting the current.
From Deltaville, we motored to Norfolk, where we were awed by the amount of aircraft carriers. Our friends in Bandera ended up too close to the navy boats and were chased after by the friendly navy police. We docked at the free docks in Norfolk and went ashore to celebrate our four year anniversary.
We had hoped to get to Elizabeth City the next day, but we were delayed at the lock (45 minutes!) and then again when we had to stop to clean out our strainer. Michael from Bandera was kind enough to show us how to access our strainer. We rafted up next to Alberta Crewed and had a great night meeting with one of our viewers, Tom.
The following day we continued our journey to Elizabeth City. We repaired our sail with the help of a friendly local gentleman, provisioned, and enjoyed the free docks and cheese and wine party that the city provided.
Next episode we travel down the ICW and start heading to Florida.
Credits: āSecret Conversationsā by the 126ers āOne More Chanceā by Otis McDonald āUkulele Beachā by Doug Maxwell āEvery Cowboyā by Cellophone Sam āSewing Songā from Junior on the Job
# Sailing the New Jersey Coast and Delaware Bay! (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 18This week we leave New York Harbour and travel down the New Jersey coast and up Delaware Bay.
We left New York just before 6am. There was already a lot of marine traffic at that hour and the first couple of hours was spent dodging wake from ferries, water taxis, shipping boats and other vessels. We had a beautiful sail down to the Manasquan Inlet - pretty much zero sea state and winds blowing at a beam reach, about 10-15 knots.
Manasquan Inlet was a challenging experience. Firstly, there are dozens of fishing vessels that are blocking the inlet entrance. Secondly, the inlet has between 2-3 knots current and we were heading in at opposing current. We struggled in at 2-3 knots of speed, while fishing vessels with 300 or more horsepower zoomed past us. There was a beautiful little anchorage at Glimmer Glass Bay, but we had to go past the smallest bascule bridge in the world. We were afraid we wouldnāt fit through! Greg did a spectacular job of keeping the boat straight through the channel, against currents and wind that wanted to push us sideways.
The next day there was absolutely no wind, and we motored to Barnegat Bay. We saw dozens of dolphins, a couple of which came right past the boat. Again, a challenging and blocked entrance to the inlet, but a very nice anchorage at the end. We went ashore to try to find ice cream but alas, all the stores were closed for the season.
Another motor from Barnegat to Atlantic City. We specifically picked this weather window because we knew it would be calm, and it was Dianaās first time sailing offshore. However, it was a little too calm, and we missed using our sails! There was a storm forecast, so we hunkered down in Brigatine for a few days and explored Atlantic City.
Atlantic City was an odd place. There were huge casinos that were closed, and other bright and shiny things open with very few people around. It also seemed very tacky. We walked down the boardwalk, bought some salt water taffy, and looked for WiFi to download things and upload our YouTube videos. I swear that half our time on shore is spent looking for places that have fast WiFi!
After a few days in Atlantic City, we started to get restless and decided to head to Cape May. Since we had been motoring so much, we chose a day with stiffer winds and what was forecasted to be a slightly bigger sea state so we could sail. Unfortunately the winds were much higher than predicted - gusting over 30 knots - and had the corresponding bigger sea state. This wasnāt bad when we were heading south, but when we turned back to go inland, we were hitting 7-8 foot swells straight on, not to mention motoring through 30 knot winds. That was very uncomfortable, a few swells broke over the bow of our boat and everything immediately became covered in salt water. However, after an exhausting return, we were greeted by a nice set of dolphins at Cape May.
The next day we travelled up Delaware Bay. It was quiet at the start of our journey, but mid day we picked up wind and current - and ended up going speeds of 8-9 knots effortlessly. It was a beautiful sail and we ended up going past our intended anchorage, and anchoring just past the mouth of the Delaware and Chesapeake Canal.
With forecasted big weather coming up, we snuck into Chesapeake City and spent a few days at the city dock. They generously let us stay for more than the 24 hour allotted time because of the bad weather. We also ran into some friends that we had met in Atlantic City - Michael and Lori Ann on Bandera - and celebrated Halloweāen with them.
Next time - we head down the Chesapeake Bay and explore!
Credits:
āStorm Cloudsā by Christine Jakel https://soundcloud.com/hristineakel
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Sailing down the Hudson towards New York City (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 17This week the crew of SV Catsaway leaves the comfort of the Erie Canal, and starts their journey down the Hudson River.
The Hudson River is a much larger waterway than the Erie, and we immediately saw an increase of marine traffic. The amount of commercial traffic was especially noteworthy. We had no idea that travelling down the Hudson River would be so beautiful. Itās lined with spectacular nature. One side of the river hosts a commercial train track and the other has a passenger train.
Our first stop on the Hudson was in the Catskills, at Hop-O-Nose Marina. They helped us step our mast; we were excited for Catsaway to become a sailboat again. We also wandered around the town, which was adorable. We also ran into a few cruising friends in the area (a popular area to step masts). Notably, we saw a gentleman that we had met our very first time in Oswego. He kindly took us out to dinner to celebrate us getting our cruising license. We decided to become catamaran boating buddies until New York Harbour.
We had to reluctantly part ways at Half Moon Bay, since our friend was meeting someone in NYC and had to continue his journey immediately. We are still in touch, and are hoping to meet up with him soon.
At Half Moon Bay, we added 60 feet of chain to our existing 10 feet of chain and 200 feet of rode. We knew the currents and sea state at the Hudson would be challenging, and we wanted to ensure that our anchor had good hold.
Unfortunately we had to anchor north of the mooring field at West 79th Street Boat Basin, since the transient moorings were all closed. Since this was the first time we had anchored somewhere that was so unprotected. The Hudson River has 2 knots of current, not to mention the vast amount of marine traffic that zooms by. Since the anchorage is so exposed, we were subject to movement in all directions. We had initially decided to stay on board for 24 hours to ensure that our anchor didnāt slipā¦. But we made it 48 just in case.
Finally after 48 hours of rocking and rolling, we took our dinghy to shore and experienced a beautiful day in Manhattan. We wandered around Central Park, went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art (and borrowed their ridiculously fast WiFi!) and visited Times Square. We also reconnected with Dianaās aunt, and celebrated her birthday with dinner at the Russian Samovar, and Phantom of the Opera.
The next morning we left before daybreak to haul up anchor and leave NYC. Until next time!!
Music Credits: Enthusiast - Tours Road Trip - Joakim Karud Something_Elated - Broke_For_Free
# Erie Canal Part 2 from Little Falls to the Hudson (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 16This week the crew of SV Catsaway complete their journey on the Erie Canal.
We left Little Falls and experienced the great lock 17, the highest lock on the Erie Canal. With a descent of 40.5 feet, lock 17 took over from 5 older locks on the original Canal. We felt like we were going down forever! Also, this is the only lock to have a lifting door at the end - which means you get dripped on a bit. :/
Our first stop was the village of Canajoharie. The name of the village means, āThe pot that washes itselfā and was named after a natural phenomenon in the Canajoharie Gorge. It looked like a hot tub that Mother Nature made. Unfortunately there was no swimming; the gorge looked like a beautiful place to swim. Canajoharie is also home to one of the only freestanding stop lights.
The city of Amsterdam is home to a beautiful new pedestrian bridge, and links up to lovely bike paths along the canal. Follow the bike paths to experience Erie Canal history with original locks and the Schoharie Aqueduct. It is wild to think that they built bridges for boats so many years ago, and that it was easier to build an aqueduct than traverse the rivers. We were in Amsterdam during mid-autumn festival, so we ordered take out Chinese food to celebrate.
Next up was the village of Scotia (close to Schenectady). Schenectady was the first bigger city we had experienced on the Erie Canal. We visited downtown, Union College and the Stockade District. We love how upper state New York has so much history attached to it. On an interesting note, the village of Scotia docks also offer the best internet on the Canal. Watch your draft as you come in though - it gets very shallow!
After Scotia, we went to Waterford and experienced the awesomeness of the Flight of Five: 5 locks that descend 170 feet. Make sure you give yourself enough time to get through the flight before they close. We stayed in Waterford for a few days; many cruisers were waiting for Tropical Storm Nate to pass through. We visited the Waterford Historical Museum, met up with some friendly viewers (who generously treated us to a delicious dinner!), had a fellow boater fix our drive leg, met some friends in Albany and explored Troy. It was a lovely experience!
Join us next time as we make our way down the beautiful Hudson to New York City!
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
Credits: Road Trip - Joakim Karud Sing Swing Bada Bing - Doug Maxwell
# Sailing with CatsThis week the crew of SV Catsaway starts their journey down the Oswego and Erie Canals.
Our first locks were nerve wracking! That being said, it was actually quite straightforward. You can call the lock masters on Channel 13. They will let you know if the lock is ready (or if they need to get it ready). When the ātraffic lightā by the lock turns green and the doors open, then you know you can go in! Approach slowly, and line up the boat so you can grab a rope, ladder, or rod. Make sure you have good (rubber) gloves for the canals - those walls are lined with crazy amounts of stuff!
If you are travelling in an upwards filling lock, go to the further point of the lock so that thereās less pressure on the boat. For the downwards locks, watch out for currents as you leave the lock - your boat will want to turn of itās own accord.
Our stops along the Oswego and Erie Canal were: Fulton: free electricity, water, showers, washrooms. A little bit of a sketchy location (neither of us felt comfortable leaving the boat at the harbour, especially since we were the only ones docked). The dock can only handle smaller boats; our 34 footer took the only viable space on the outside concrete wall. Brewerton: We tied up at a NYC Parks wall. Very peaceful, between two bridges and right by the library in case anyone needs WiFi. No amenities. Sylvan Beach: Tied up on a NYC Parks wall. Again, no amenities. We can imagine this would be a nice place in the summer - currently a lot of places looked closed/abandoned. Utica: Tied up at Aqua Vino. Electricity, water and bathrooms (when the restaurant is open) for $1/foot. We took advantage of this water and filled up our solar showers too! Little Falls: Best showers on the Erie Canal! The Little Falls Canal Harbour Marina is run by the city and Rotary Club volunteers. Clubhouse, showers, bathrooms, water, electricity for $1/foot. If you donāt need amenities, itās 50 cents/foot. Nice bike paths and sweet little town. Antiques, ice cream, history - what more can you want?
The weather was great and the kitties enjoyed our time on the canals. The water was flat and calm, and so they liked walking around and looking at the scenery go by when we were underway.
Join us next week as finish the Erie Canal and continue to the Hudson River.
Credits:
āMorning Sunā by Nicolai Heidlas āErie Canalā by MÄski ChĆ³r Szantowy āZawisza Czarnyā https://youtu.be/Vzgtn7uzo4w
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# Border Bounce part 2 (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 14This episode, the crew of Catsaway spends their time back in Canada to get more prepared for their border crossing.
We were able to source a used Zodiac 8ā RIB dinghy, with a 8hp Yamaha outboard. We bought it at a great price, and decided to license it for our travels. Even though Canadian regulations state that anything under 10HP is not required to be licensed, there have been cases of travelling Canadians getting ticketed in US waters. Licensing is free, so we went ahead with that option.
Our engine had been sputtering and dying on us, so we decided to change the fuel filter. It improved, but was still having issues. Eventually we figured out that the lift pump that pumps fuel into the engine was broken. Luckily, the previous owner had already purchased a replacement. We installed that and we were good to go!
Greg was issued his B1/B2 visa for entering the US. He applied online and went to an interview at the US embassy. After a stressful few days compiling our documentation and paperwork, we treated ourselves to a day at the Nordik Spa in Chelsea, QC.
We did our second crossing to Oswego and made excellent time the first day, thanks to excellent winds! Unfortunately we were turned around again, due to the fact that Greg This episode, the crew of Catsaway spends their time back in Canada to get more prepared for their border crossing.
We were able to source a used Zodiac 8ā RIB dinghy, with a 8hp Yamaha outboard. We bought it at a great price, and decided to license it for our travels. Even though Canadian regulations state that anything under 10HP is not required to be licensed, there have been cases of travelling Canadians getting ticketed in US waters. Licensing is free, so we went ahead with that option.
Our engine had been sputtering and dying on us, so we decided to change the fuel filter. It improved, but was still having issues. Eventually we figured out that the lift pump that pumps fuel into the engine was broken. Luckily, the previous owner had already purchased a replacement. We installed that and we were good to go!
Greg was issued his B1/B2 visa for entering the US. He applied online and went to an interview at the US embassy. After a stressful few days compiling our documentation and paperwork, we treated ourselves to a day at the Nordik Spa in Chelsea, QC.
We did our second crossing to Oswego and made excellent time the first day, thanks to excellent winds! Unfortunately we were turned around again, due to the fact that Greg needed a B1/B2 Visa and an I-94 visa waiver (?). We could only acquire these at a land crossing, so we turned around and headed to Cape Vincent. Greg needed to cross the border on a ferry (which counted as a ālandā crossing) and was awarded his I-94. We were also able to obtain our cruising license as well, which was a huge relief.
Finally we headed back to Oswego for the THIRD time. The people at the Oswego marina were very generous to us and did not charge us for our third night. We took down our sails and boom and loosened our baby stays. We were able to step the mast early the next morning.
Catsaway was finally Erie Canal ready!
Credits: āFeelin Goodā by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100475 Artist: http://incompetech.com/
āBlizzardsā by Riot
āGet Outsideā by Jason Farnham
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
# Border Bounce part 1 (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 13This week we move onto the boat, travel to Oswego and get bounced back to Canada.
The last couple weeks in Ottawa were a whirlwind of activity - getting the solar system installed on the boat, trying to get a renter for the house, finishing up work, packing the house away, saying goodbye to friends and family, cleaning up the house and setting up an AirBnb. Finally the house was clean, thanks to a lot of help from Dianaās parents, Charles and Soph. :) The kitties were distressed the entire time, as we think they suspected change was on the horizon.
It was a cool and rainy day when we drove to the boat. Dianaās parents helped us take a carload of things. The cats took a while to settle down, as there were new smells and a lot of new noises to get used to. The first couple of days on the boat happened to be very windy as well - so they had more than their fair share of halyards slapping and other noises.
After a few days, the cats were accustomed to their new surroundings and relaxed. We decided to start the engine and drive to the gas dock - a short journey for their first time moving the boat. Jazz didnāt like the engine starting (no surprise there!), but Hercie was fine. Jazz came out of her blanket cocoon when we got to the gas dock.
We had been checking the winds for several days to see when would be the best time to go to Oswego. Thursday and Friday seemed like good winds, so we would get good speed. Unfortunately, a storm system that was supposed to pass south of us ended up swinging north and gave us more than we had planned. After motoring through a squall and having engine problems, we decided to duck into Henderson Bay until the system passed.
Henderson Bay was a great place to relax and tune out from the world. Neither of us had any cell reception, so our couple of days there were spent reading, relaxing and cooking. It was wonderful. The kitties even got a chance to explore the outside of the boat (with us keeping a close eye on them!).
A couple of days later, we left Henderson Bay for Oswego. We checked into U.S. Customs on Saturday afternoon and were told that we had to call the Syracuse office for our cruising permit on Monday morning. We got ready to unstep the mast by taking down the sails and boom, and loosening our baby stays. Then we decided to explore Oswego!
Oswego is a beautiful little city, overlooking Lake Ontario. It hosts lovely architecture, parks and a picturesque downtown. Known as the Port City of New York, it has mottos such as, āWhere the Water Never Endsā and āCool by Natureā. We biked around visiting coffee shops, the canal, and Fort Ontario.
We were also lucky enough to meet up with a Facebook friend. Jillian and her family were so generous to us - they treated us to dinner and even lent us their car to go grocery shopping! We were overwhelmed by their kindness. If this is what we can expect from the cruising community going forward, weāre in excellent hands. :)
Bright and early on Monday morning, we docked the boat by the crane to unstep the mast. It was at that moment that the Customs and Border Protection (CBP) Officers came to inspect our boat. Though nothing was wrong with our boat, it seems that they wanted Greg to have a very specific visa (instead of a Nexus card and an I-94), before granting us our cruising permit. In order to obtain the visa, we had to head back to Ottawa to apply at the American Embassy - back to Canada we went!
We had to rush to put our sails back up before heading out. It was a good thing we left the mast up because our engine started acting up right as we left Oswego. However, we were treated to a brilliant sunset, a beautiful starlit night, and an amazing (and speedy!) sail back into Kingston.
Next week - we hustle to get our documents in order!
Credits: āYesterdayā by Jahzzar http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Come/yesterday
āSkip in my Stepā by Scott Holmes
We now have a live map on our website! www.SVCatsaway.com
https://instagram.com/SVCatsaway https://facebook.com/SVCatsaway https://twitter.com/SVCatsaway
# Fixing boats and naming Catsaway (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 12This week we welcome our friend Charles back, fix the hole in the floor, rename the boat and prepare for becoming liveaboards.
Charles used plywood and fiberglass to reinforce the floor. The cut out section had gotten a little warped, so Charles and Greg stood on it while the fiberglass was setting. He used West Marine epoxy fillers to create a putty texture in order to fill the holes. We now have a finished floor!! We just have to paint it now to match the colour.
We celebrated by going for a sail. It was a beautiful day, with 5-10 knots of wind. We played with where to place the fairleads to get the optimal wind to speed ratio.
Later that week, we finally de-named Rhapsody and re-named her Catsaway! We invited some friends over and went through the traditional renaming ceremonies. We celebrated with a sail, champagne and snacks. It was a great day!
Diana put up the lifeline safety netting in preparation for the kitties to come on board. We also purchased a large fishing net in case we ever need to scoop them out of the water. ;)
Kurt from Downunder Solar was kind enough to do a last minute solar installation for us. We decided on a 315 watt Canadian Solar panel, plus a 5 kilowatt hour AGM battery bank. We have also switched all the lightbulbs in the cabin to LEDs to help save energy.
Join us next week as we move onto the boat and leave for Oswego!
We now have a live map on our website! www.SVCatsaway.com
https://instagram.com/SVCatsaway https://facebook.com/SVCatsaway https://twitter.com/SVCatsaway
Credits: āCoffee Stainsā by Riot āFeeling Sunnyā by Scott Holmes āLife of Rileyā by Kevin MacLeod
# Gemini 105M Boat Tour (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 11Welcome to our home for the next year!
We live on a 1998 Gemini 105M (Hull 605) named Catsaway. She is 34 feet long (10.21m) and has a 14 foot beam (4.27m). She weights about 4 tons, but only sits about 1.5 feet (0.46m) deep in the water. The 105M is the predecessor to the Gemini 105MD.
She has three bunks - two aft bunks in each hull, plus a large master in the forward section of the boat. Each aft bunk fits a small double mattress, while the master is somewhere between a large queen or a small king size bed. The master bedroom has forward looking windows that are great for letting the sun in during sunrise, or stargazing at night. It also has a hatch to keep air flowing.
The main seating area is spacious and well planned out. We can comfortably sit 4 people, but can easily squish in 6-7. Our table folds out for extra space. We have two hatches in here that let in a lot of light and air. There are also two windows between the seating area and the master bunks. Our kitties like to jump in and out of these windows to get from room to room, so we have learned to close them at night if we donāt want a cat landing on our faces!
The head is located in the port hull. Our batteries are also on this side, including two large house batteries that hold 5kwh. We had to relocate the house batteries into the closet of our port aft bunk. There are storage lockers on both sides of this hull, so we keep tools in one side and cleaning supplies in the other.
The galley is located in the starboard hull. It has two propane burners, a small oven and a small double sink. Beside the sink there is a storage locker which is huge (we put all our canned goods in there to try to offset the weight of the batteries in the opposite hull). We also have storage on the other side for our pots and pans.
Our centreboards are accessed through a nut in each hull.
The cockpit is square and has two levels of seating. Our captainās chair fits two (as long as you like each other), and is padded and comfortable for long hauls. Behind the cockpit, we have our dinghy davits, on top of which sits a 315W Canadian Solar panel.
At first when we started sailing our Gemini, we werenāt thrilled with the visibility from the cockpit. However, over time, we have really appreciated the sheltered nature of the hard bimini and not having wind and sun in our faces all the time.
We hope this gives you an idea of our boat!
We have created a live map for you guys for follow us at: https://www.SVCatsaway.com
Our thoughts and well wishes are with everyone who was affected by Hurricane Irma
https://instagram.com/SVCatsaway https://facebook.com/SVCatsaway https://twitter.com/SVCatsaway
Music credits:Jump to Daily Beetle by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1500025 Artist: http://incompetech.com/`
# VHF Maroon RadioMy partner and I are leaving on a year long sailing trip this weekend. One of the last things on our shopping list is a spare handheld marine VHF radio. This spare radio will allow us to communicate with other boats if our main radio is incapacitated.
Canadian Tireās website returned a few entries with the query āVHF Marine Radioā so I headed off to my local store.
When I arrived however I discovered that none of Canadian Tireās radios were VHF Marine, they were all Walkie Talkies. This is problematic as Walkie Talkies can not communicate with VHF Marine Radios. Canadian Tireā¦ more like Canadian Liarā¦ amirite?
This may seem like an inconsequential mistake until you consider when these radios are likely to be used. In an emergency on the water; Walkie Talkies are as useless as a knitted life raft. Ideally humans will check their equipment before they use them, however these radios normally come as a pair. It would be easy to be lulled into a false sense of security after a successful self radio check.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity - Hanlonās razor
It was unlikely that Canadian Tire was trying to trick people into floating powerless boats over waterfalls.
It far more likely that users of their website inadvertently trained Canadian Tireās search algorithms into believing that āVHF Marine Radioā was a synonym for āWalkie Talkieā. A simple mistake for a gullible algorithm. Nowadays machine learning is relatively easy, machine learning useful things is more difficult. Weāre likely to see more mistakes like this as algorithms penetrate our lives. I just hope the machines are smarter before they attempt their inevitable coup dāetat.
# Ship's Computer, how much tech does a sailing yacht need? (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 10We updated the shipās technology including;
We attempted to create our own Seatalk cable in order to save some money. It worked for a little while but was constantly causing instrument errors when the boat moved. Diana and I are trekkies aso it was fun working on a Star Trek themed Shipās Computer. Iāll enjoy continuing to work on that while weāre sailing at warp 0.00000000000001.
https://github.com/ShipsComputer/ComputerCore https://outernet.is/ https://findmespot.com/ https://vyacht.net/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergency_position-indicating_radiobeacon_station
Contributing projects LCARS-SDK front end https://github.com/Aricwithana/LCARS-SDK Earth weather visualization https://github.com/cambecc/earth
Credits: āInvisibleā by Vibe Tracks
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Need cat stuff? www.svcatsaway.com
# Learning to Sail Upwind on a Catamaran (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 09This week we become temporary liveabords (if that even makes sense)! Some things on our list of work to be done included changing the oil and filter, find out how to successfully sail upwind, and rebedding one of our front hatches.
The oil was more complicated than we had anticipated. The manual recommends CC or CD, a now obsolete descriptor. Though some research, Greg discovered that we needed 10W30, a diesel synthetic that would work in warmer temperatures. He used a small motor to suction the old oil out of the dipstick hole and replaced it with new oil. He also took the opportunity to replace the oil filter and to tighten the alternator belt.
We changed our genoa tracks to the factory set up so the genoa could be set up closer to the mast. We also played around with where the fairlead was on the tracks to adjust the shape of the sail. All these made a huge difference in our ability to sail upwind, and we were actually able to sail into the wind for the first time! We didnāt even use our centreboards this time, so weāre looking forward to pointing even better in the future.
One of our front hatches had a slow leak, so Diana took the opportunity to learn how to rebed the hatch. She decided on using butyl rubber instead of silicone caulking. Everything was going smoothly in the hatch removal until one stubborn stripped screw refused to budge. We tried an elastic, part of a yoga mat, a vise grip, but finally one of the gents at the marina used his power drill to get it out. After the hatch was removed, Diana used a razor blade, acetone and a lot of elbow grease to scrape out the old silicone. She lay the butyl rubber on the hatch, avoiding the screw holes (if you try to screw through butyl, it can twist and create a leak the seal). We reinstalled the hatch and took turns installing the screws in the star pattern so ensure the hatch remained flat.
Three chores down, a whole bunch to go!!
Please let us know any tips or comments below. :)
Credits: āSwipsey Cakewalkā by Scott Joplin āSugar Zoneā by Silent Partner āCatch up Sallyā by Scott Holmes āSkip in my Stepā by Scott Holmes āElite Syncopationsā by Eās Jammy Jams
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway
Need cat stuff? www.svcatsaway.com
# Close Call - learning to dock (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 08This week Dianaās parents came to visit us in Kingston, Ontario. We took them on a brief sail (the winds were light and later died), and then later enrolled them to help us remove the old name from the hull. Finding out what worked for our boat was helpfully fueled by the marina community. What seemed to work best was a combination of using a heat gun, a razor scraper, goo gone and some rubbing compound.
Greg spent much of the day re-wiring part of the boat and installing DC cell phone chargers. He was successful in his attempts and now we have several fast charging ports!
The following day, Dianaās parents left and we decided to try to sail on a beam reach with the assistance of our centreboards. Though Catsaway ended up travelling quickly - between 8 to 9 knots - there was a lot of leeway motion. We were actually getting blown backwards from our goal. We knew that catamarans struggle upwind, but we werenāt expecting so much difficulty. One more thing to add to the list - how to efficiently sail upwind!
Coming back into the dock, there was a strong wind, accentuated with windy gusts. Diana started her approach into the slip alright, but as she slipped the boat into neutral, the vessel was immediately blown towards our starboard side. Greg ran around pushing our boat away from others and we successfully backed out. On our second attempt, Diana hugged the port side more and used more throttle to combat the effects of the wind. It also helped a lot that two of our neighbours came out to help us!
Next weekās task: Removing the rest of the name, and figuring out how to sail upwind!
Music Credits: Invincible by DEAF KEV Invisible Light by Josh Woodward
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Need Cat Stuff? https://SVCatsaway.com
# TOdayIām spending some time pairing with a team member in Toronto in order to knowledge transfer as much as possible before our trip. For the next 4 days Iāll be a local. TOday (see what I did there) was spent exploring the city. The day finished with sore feet from flip flops and a lovely swim in the rooftop pool at my hotel (the Hyatt).
# Our First Sail on SV Catsaway (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 07This week we managed to adjust our rigging, set up our sails and finally get Catsaway sailing on the water.
Setting up our jib was a good learning opportunity for us as neither of us had worked with a rolling furler. Diana was the only one who had set up sails (during her course), so we did some troubleshooting. Our mainsail was more straightforward, except that we accidentally confused our spare halyard with the topping lift. Luckily, weāre still in touch with the original owner, so he gave us some guidance.
Our first sail was wonderful. Catsaway sailed easily at 7 knots, and tends to sail about half the speed of the wind. Our tacking was challenging, but we think it was because we were releasing our jib too early.
We also flushed our water tanks clear of the winterizing antifreeze. We didnāt realize that the dock taps were lake water (which we were using for the flushing). Although this negated our guilty feeling about wasting so much water, we realized that we needed to purify the tanks again. We set out to the gas dock to refuel and fill the tanks with potable water, which we then purified again with iodine tablets.
The next day we attempted to fix a leaking hatch, only to be stumped when we couldnāt release the hatch from the hull. As a quick fix ONLY, we decided to clean up the old caulking around the hatch and recaulk the outside. We realize this is only a quick fix, and we were need to seal it more thoroughly in time. We have purchased butyl tape for the seal and have also done some more research on how to get that hatch out.
We have been working on having more accurate and concise communication with each other. One of our improvements is to thoroughly discuss what our intentions are before actually putting the boat in action. This has helped clear up miscommunications. :)
A big thank you to all the wonderful folks at Treasure Island Marina. You have all been very helpful in assisting us, lending us tools, giving advice and helping us launch and dock the boat. You have definitely made this process a lot smoother, and it has been wonderful getting to know the community.
Social Media: instagram.com/svcatsaway facebook.com/svcatsaway twitter.com/svcatsaway
Need Cat Stuff? https://SVCatsaway.com
Credits: āAcoustic Folk Instrumentalā by Hyde āI Know Where Youāve Beenā (Instrumental) by Forget the Whale
# Pre-journey Preparation for our year long trip (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 06This week we continue to prepare for our journey by:
Launching our website. His Royal Highness Prince Charles came to Shopify HQs (Gregās workplace), and assisting in launching 15 new online businesses. This was partially in celebration of this yearās Canada Day, which happened to be the 150th year of confederation.
Diana learned to sail. Having had no previous sailing experience, Diana thought it would be a good idea to register for a sailing course so she wouldnāt have to rely on Gregās sailing expertise all the time. Advantage Boating runs adult and children sailing programs through several marinas in the Ottawa and Kingston area. She took the āBasic Cruising Courseā, which covered a ton of vocabulary, safety, theory and of course sailing.
Updating our First Aid. Both of us had been lifeguards in our teenage years, but it had been a while since we had updated our First Aid certificates. CPR and first aid in general has really streamlined from previously - Diana was still used to the 15:2 ratio! We completed this course through the City of Ottawa CPR programs.
Travel Vaccinations. We went to Passport Health to complete our travel vaccinations. We received vaccines for Typhoid Fever, Hepatitis A (we were already covered for Hep B), Malaria, Travellerās Diarrhea (Dukoral), and some antibiotics (Cipro) for good measure. We also went to our family doctor to receive our booster shots for tetanus, as well as getting a years supply of prescription medication and some Epipens for emergencies.
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Need Cat Stuff? https://SVCatsaway.com
Credits: āBusiness Gatewayā by Scott Holmes āRoad Tripā by Joakim Karud
# Coming Home - motoring across Lake Ontario (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 05In this episode, Catsaway gets her mast stepped and journeys to her temporary home in Kingston, Ontario.
The crew at the Chaumont Yacht Club helped us step the mast. Due to time constraints, we didnāt wait to finish setting up the rigging, but departed immediately because of thunderstorms approaching. We lucked out with the weather - the lake was calm for the entire 8 hour trip, and the sun even came out about halfway through.
Stable flies travel up to 120km and breed in rotting vegetable matter in the lake. They swarm your boat and can bite through clothing. We are normally peaceful to all living creatures, but after being incessantly attacked by hundreds of flies - we went on the warpath!
Passing by Wolfe Island was beautiful. Wolfe Island is at the junction of where Lake Ontario becomes the St. Lawrence River. Home to the second largest wind power development in Canada, it has 86 wind turbines distributed around the island.
After about 7.5 hours of motoring, we arrived safely at Treasure Island Marina.
We used Navionics to help guide us on our journey.
Thank you to the crew at CYC, and Charles and Sophia for coming with us on this journey :)
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Need Cat Stuff? https://SVCatsaway.com
Credits: āBrave Piratesā by Frievents Orchestra āWholesome 05ā by Scott Holmes āEpic Chase Music - Runā by Ross Bugden (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujsCRw-eA0o) āLetās Go Fishināā by Karissa Hobbs
# Hole in the Hull - we discovered a crack (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 04This episode follows the delivery of our boat from Cape Cod, MA to Chaumont, NY. When the boat was picked up from Cape Cod, a 6 inch crack was discovered in the hull. By the time it was transported to the Chaumont Yacht Club, the crack had widened to 16 inches. We repaired the crack with a lot of help and guidance from our friend Charles. A big thanks also to the Chaumont Yacht Club, for lending us tools and supplies, and for being helpful and encouraging.
After the fiberglass repair was completed, we launched Catsaway into Lake Ontario for her first taste of fresh Canadian water. :)
Thank you Charles, Sophia, Doug, Chris, Geordie and the members and employees of the CYC.
List of supplies/equipment we used: -West Marine West System 105 Epoxy Resin -West Marine West System 205 Fast Hardener -West Marine Fiberglass Mat -Acetone -Rollers -Paintbrush -Tray for the epoxy -Measuring Tape -Mixing Sticks -Bucket -Shrink Wrap (but you can use saran wrap too) -Duct tape -Grinder -Hydraulic jack -Saw -Plywood -Hairdryers -Lots of rags and elbow grease to clean up :)
P.S. We started to get questions about why the crack wasnāt noticed into the survey. Here are our thoughts:
When we surveyed the boat, we noticed slight recession of the hull, but no crack. We actually have close up pictures of that exact spot! Our theory on why the crack happened:
1) the original owner had switched hauling companies this past spring and they asked for a different set up with long wooden beams (he was using cinder blocks and plywood previously).
2) We think the new company set down the boat at the wrong place, which caused the hull recession.
3) As the owner prepared the boat for transport, he added more load (including filling the fuel tanks).
Our best guess is that the combination of being on the hard for a longer length of time than normal (resting in the wrong spot) + slightly more load caused the hull the crack between our survey and transport day.
Music Credits: Princess (Instrumental Version) - Josh Woodward Orbit (Instrumental Version) - Josh Woodward Perfect (Instrumental Version) - Josh Woodward PS: We really like Josh Woodward
# Boat Survey - inspecting a Gemini 105M (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 03The humans of the crew of SV Catsaway travel to Cape Cod, Massachusetts to complete the boat survey on āRhapsodyā (the original name of SV Catsaway).
We met with Angel from Mass Maritime Marine, who performed a thorough and unhurried survey. Due to time and money constraints, the survey was done on the hard without a sea trial. Since the engine could not be tested under load, an engine escrow was included in the original offer to purchase documents.
Things the boat survey brought up: 1) Electrical was well done but the inverter was old and recommended to be replaced 2) Centreboards were only painted halfway 3) A few cracked windows 4) Old solar panels
Since our timeline is short (departure date September 1st), we wanted to ensure that everything below the waterline was taken care of. After receiving the results of the survey, the owner kindly agreed to sand and repaint the centreboards so the vessel could be ready for immediate launch.
After completing the boat survey, we spent the evening in Hyannis Port, Barnstable.
Next episode: stay tuned for the transport of SV Catsaway and her launch into Lake Ontario.
Thanks for watching! The crew of SV Catsaway (Diana, Greg, Jazz and Hercie)
Credits: āSuper Friendlyā by Dave Depper āLucky Meā by Scott Holmes āSummer Funā by Scott Holmes Intro video āWaves In Sunsetā from Videezy.com
# Pillion PoochMy brother and his wife have been riding around the world on motorbikes collecting dogs, you can checkout their blog here.
In order to safely collect dogs they created a dog carrier specifically for motorbikes called the Pillion Pooch. Itās been well tested and I know their dogs love it. Now theyāve just started a kickstarter campaign to put the wind in more dogās faces. I think itās a great idea and I canāt wait to see a random biker exploring the highways with their dog using this product.
Life is what happens while youāre busy making plans but this is our attempt. Weāre looking forward to adventure, new experiences, and learning new skills (including video editing). Weād appreciate feedback, ideas, and thoughts on our plan :)
Crew:
Admeowral Diana - Canadian, has never sailed, but is good with logistics and handy work. Also has a much needed sense of humour.
Cat-tain Greg - Australian, sailed a lot down under but never in fresh water. Proficient in IT and kitty cuddling. Has an adventurous spirit.
Chief Petting Officer Jazz - A bulls eye tabby with a lot of spunk and fight in her. She is our hunter and keeps us in line.
SeaCat Hercules - An affectionate black kitty who loves unconditionally and is pretty chill about things - as long as his family is with him.
Credits āFollow Your Dreamsā by Scott Holmes via Free Music Archive Drone footage by Carlo L. Mion - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_HCKR0nmwE Opening & closing scenes from the useful website Videezy.com
# Pi-holed MyselfPi-hole is an awesome DNS server. Pi because it was designed to run on a Raspberry Pi and hole because thatās where advertisements DNS requests end up. Ad-blocking at the DNS level means that every device on my network is free from the majority of pesky ads, even mobile apps.
| ISP DNS (ads) | Pi-hole DNS (no ads) |
|---|---|
 |
 |
Another advantage of DNS level blocking is that the data for the advertisement is never actually sent to the device, which dramatically speeds up web browsing. This becomes obvious when reading ad heavy news articles on mobile devices.
As a side note, I find it easy to morally defend ad-blocking. Advertising is a socially acceptable form of manipulation. I appreciate that I benefit from advertising as it funds many things I enjoy like YouTube. However I contribute directly to content creators via Patreon and I have the right and a duty to defend myself from propaganda.
Pi-hole is the DNS server for my home network as well as my VPN so I can pi-hole on the go. Things were going great, I was enjoying a faster and less annoying web experienceā¦ until I noticed something strange with YouTubeās recommendations. Every time I visited YouTube, it would recommend me the same videos, even after I had watched them. After a couple of weeks cursing YouTube, I discovered the problem. Pi-hole was eating requests to s.youtube.com which was feeding YouTubeās recommendation engine by tracking my viewing habits. s.youtube.com was quickly whitelisted and YouTube returned to normal.
I wrote this article incase anyone else was having this issue with YouTube/Pi-hole and to highlight some of the rare benefits of online tracking.
# Buying a Boat
I took the advice of an internet cat. We bought a boat and weāre taking our cats sailing around the world leaving in September. This is the first released episode of our new sailing vlog for SV Catsaway
If you like it, please subscribe to our youtube channel :)
# Boat Shopping - finding a boat for us and our cats (Sailing SV Catsaway) - Ep. 02This is the beginning of our sailing adventure with two people & two cats.
This episode follows our boat shopping journey as we try to find the right sailing vessel for our upcoming trip. Our parameters included: 1) Comfortable cruising 2) Under $100,000 CDN 3) Bluewater ready/almost ready (we wonāt have that much time to work on the boat) 4) Efficient lay out 5) BONUS: solar panels, radar, plumbed for the ocean, dinghy, close to Canada
Our plan is to sail from Lake Ontario to the Caribbean and thenā¦ beyond! We donāt have a set plan so weāll be doing much of the preparation while weāre underway.
Here is the crew:
Admeowral Diana - Canadian, has never sailed, but is good with logistics and handy work. Also has a much needed sense of humour.
Cat-tain Greg - Australian, sailed a lot down under but never in fresh water. Proficient in IT and kitty cuddling. Has an adventurous spirit.
Chief Petting Officer Jazz - A bulls eye tabby with a lot of spunk and fight in her. She is our hunter and keeps us in line.
Able SeaCat Hercules - An affectionate black kitty who loves unconditionally and is pretty chill about things - as long as his family is with him.
Credits āUp In My Jam (All Of A Sudden)ā by the talented Kubbi is licensed under a Creative Commons License. āWaves and footprintsā from opening scene is from the useful website Videezy.com Special thanks to Ripple Training for the intro to Final Cut Pro - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-Qy-4esLdXmO1F6k5kz0Qg
# Related ImagesOut of curiosity I Google image searched Gregology. The top hit was the current avatar for this site with some interesting related images.
Google either thinks Iām a dickhead, have had a face transplant, or Iām a preteen. It takes a village to raise a child so here are some other images in an attempt to train Google Images AI to associate my photo with fluffy animals instead.
Keep me honest by reviewing my evolving Codex Vitae.
# Dropbox Hosted Audiobooks on AndroidMy ears get bored on busses so I consume a lot of audiobooks. Dropbox is my main backup solution and it contains the majority of my collection. I wanted an easy way to consume those audiobooks on my Android device. This is what I did;
Install Smart AudioBook Player, itās free, has no ads, and is available in the Play Store
Create an Audiobooks directory in Dropbox and store your books in separate subdirectories
Make the directory of the book or books you are currently listening to Available Offline. You can also optionally make the whole Audiobooks directory Available Offline however that may take up a lot of space on your device
In the library settings of Smart AudioBook Player, select the Dropbox data directory as the root folder. The location may be different on your device/version of Android. On my device it was
/storage/emulated/0/Android/data/com.dropbox.android/files/[user_id]/scratch/Audiobooks
Checkout this stackexchange post for hints as to where it lives on your particular device
Hit refresh in Smart AudioBook Players Library. The books that are currently stored offline should appear
Select your bookā¦
And enjoy your trip with Dropbox hosted Audiobooks on your Android Device!
# Day one in Hong KongAfter 12 hours in Hong Kong the jet lag has settled in. We gently enjoyed some amazing seafood caught in a bucket down the road and prepared by Dianaās mum. Diana has a network of hospitable family here and I quickly feel at home. The incredible human density of the city is offset by deserted islands and green.
We were welcomed at 6am with a beautiful Sunrise over Hong Kong Harbour
We brunched on the peak then took in the view
I'm finding Hong Kong is a very dog friendly place
and cat friendly even to unfriendly looking cats
We did a bit of acro
for an unimpressed audience of turtles
This 1800s cameras would not be effective at capturing licence plates of moving vehicles
Hong Kong has effective pedestrian traffic control which has created a intelligent hive mind
Banboo Scaffolding concerns me because Pandas
Live things prepared while you wait
Hong Kong drives on the left, walks on the left, but stands on the right on escalators
We found Positive Graffiti
Mosaics Graffiti
Knitting Graffiti
and more Knitting Graffiti
Fuel is expensive and Teslas are common
Finishing the day with a beautiful Sunset over Hong Kong Harbour
And as the sun fades the LEDs rise creating a beautiful Lightrise over Hong Kong Harbour
What we've explored so far
I Ubered to work the day after receiving a pay rise at work. The Driver and I chatted for the 10 minute trip. He drove Uber for extra cash but his main income was driving a truck from Cornwall to B.C.. Traveling by land across Canada was on my bucket list and I smiled. Then my stomach filled with guilt as I realised how the inevitable progress of technology will affect each of us. Itās unlikely that the career of this ~40 year old man will exist in a decade. Technology is increasing my lifestyle and my career is likely to be safe and in demand for another couple of decades. This was an uncomfortable realisation to come face to face with.
Legislation may slows the inevitable, but that will just lead to misemployment, which is still the waste of a human. We face massive social changes as human labour becomes worthless. This has being some taxi drivers reaction to competition from Uber that might affect their livelihoods.
Protests by Parisian taxi drivers turn violent. Key highways around Paris were blocked and tires were burned during the day-long strike. Barriers also appeared around Marseille and Aix-en-Provence in southeast France. Some cars were overturned and others had their windows smashed with bats.
Taxi driver attacks Uber drivers car during protests in Toronto. Full video here
People are understandably scared of losing their jobs. We often define ourselves by our jobs. Most people answer āwhat do you do?ā with their career. When people no longer have careers, how will they answer that question?
# Migrating Gregology to Jekyll on Github PagesGregology.net was launched the same year as Facebook. In the last 11 years, both sites have risen in popularity. In some ways, Facebook has seen more success than Gregology. Even though Facebook never gained the top spot on Google for āpenis euphemismā searches, it gained popularity for archiving Reddit posts. At the time of writing this, Facebook actually has more page hits per day than Gregology.
Today Gregology migrated from Wordpress to Jekyll hosted on Github Pages. In a similar way to the original version of Gregology, Jekyll generates static html files. The new site uses disqus for comments, youtube for videos, and flickr for image galleries.
The new design is minimalist and designed to be both responsive and touch friendly. Let me know what you think.
Initially static html files.
Static php files with centrally included header and footer. Using text pattern for separate blog.
Custom content management built with PHP and MySQL. Blog hosted on Textpattern.
Migrated to Wordpress using embedded php for anything fancy.
Theme change
Current iteration just prior to the latest migration, including live cat chat.
Mario and I started a pixel war
# Making Mario Pixel Art # Sen City
Ashley Madison user heat map for Canadaās Capital
# Jurassic KittyDiana was out of town and I was kitty sitting
# Hercie - King of the Jungle # Fixie bikes aren't big in Ottawa # Unshaving # Predicted affects of self driving carsSelf driving cars are coming. HereĀ are my January 2015 predictions on how they will change the world.
Self driving cars will tailgateĀ and this will be safe becauseĀ they will be able to react to danger much faster than flesh bags. It also means that the same amount of road will be able to support many more vehicles. Because the vehicles will be connected to each other they will be able to determine bottle necks in traffic well before a traffic jam occurs and route themselves appropriately.
There are simpleĀ navigation rules to be followed by ships and other vessels at sea to prevent collisions between two or more vessels (COLREGs, 1972). Port gives way to Starboard and Power gives way to Wind etc. In good weather, ships have long lines of sight. By determining possible collisions early, using simple rules, and making early course corrections they can avoid collisions with minimal deviation. Self driving cars will have virtualĀ long lines of sight and will be able toĀ gather and share information about obstacles and each other. It will make senseĀ for the cars to decide the best course of action instead of roads. Road signs designed for cars will be redundant. Cars will follow simples rules likeĀ Port gives way to Starboard and Power gives way to Feet. The Magic Roundabout in the UK isĀ an existing example of complex traffic movements achieved by cars following simple rules.
Speed limits exist because of humans reaction time. Technology for car speed has continued to develop but has being restricted toĀ Formula One and the Autobahn. The awareness of self driving cars will make it safe for them to travel at much higher speeds. High g forces are not comfortable for passengers so infrastructure will need to be updated to handle speeds. In the near future (5 to 10 years) labour will be nearly free thanks to General Purpose RobotsĀ making the creation of the necessary infrastructureĀ easily achievable.Ā Intercity trips will take a fraction of the time they currently take.Ā Planes will only be needed for long flights.
As we move towards a post-scarcity economyĀ prime land will be one of the few things to remain scarce. With self driving cars, distance to down town will no longer be the prime driver of land value. Everywhere within 100km of a city will be 10 minutes fromĀ down town. Desirable land will be beautiful landĀ close to nature and water.
Millions of humans make their living driving and because of that millions of humans also die. Approximately 1.24 million deaths occurred on the worldās roads in 2010 (WHO, ed., 2013), about 3400 a day. Lots of people will loose their jobs but lots of people will keep their lives.
Insurance will be a key driving factor in the adoption of self driving cars. There will be accidents with self driving cars but every self driving car will learn from them. Self driving cars will always be getting safer.
WHO, ed. (2013). āGlobal Status Report on Road Safety 2013: supporting a decade of actionā (PDF) (official report). Geneva, Switzerland: World Health Organisation (WHO). pp.Ā vii, 1ā8, 53ff (countries), 244ā251 (table A2), 296ā303 (table A10). ISBNĀ 978 92 4 156456 4. Retrieved2014-05-30. Tables A2 & A10, data from 2010
Convention on the International Regulations for Preventing Collisions at Sea, 1972 (COLREGs), from the IMO (The International Maritime Organisation). Retrieved 13 February 2006.
# My Nephew Learned the Value of Money2 years later
# Busking in the ByWard Market # Chinatown Remixed Ottawa Performance # Slow Motion Star Pops 2 # Slow Motion Star Pops # Smiley Om # Hand to Hand Progress # Drone Flip, Nailed It! # Last day in NYCāMultigrain bagel with tofuā was just called in this deliberately rustic looking cafĆ© in Queens. The staff wear fedoras and the customers wear Lulu Lemon while pushing little people cars or typing on MacBooks. Ā There are a lot more smiles, laughs and in jokes here then the cafĆ©s I found in Manhattan. This was the kind of cultural experience I wanted from my trip to NYC, I feel like I could become a local here. Plus they serve decent coffee including cold pressed! My indecisiveness pushed me further out of town as the cheap hostels booked up. It worked out really well and I ended up next door to a 50s style diner. I ate all kinds of awful foods which will help me appreciate American movies.
Pecan Pie was Trip Tuckerās (Star Trek Enterprise) favourite dish and I wanted to experience it.
TV lied to me about Manhattan and I didnāt realise it wasnāt finished yet. The streets were full of litter Ā and the buildings were run down or under construction. The people were interesting and it was easy to start a conversation, get a direction, or exchange a smile. By my second day exploring the island the tourist bus salesmen had stopped hassling me so I must have looked somewhat local.
Iām going to sit back and people watch, here are some pictures.
# Times SquareWhat is this madness? Iām standing in Times Square people watching in the glow of advertising waiting for something to happen. Itās then that I realised the advertising was the show. A conversation sparked with a lovely trio of Scots who were as bemused as me. Their genuine interest in me was refreshing. When we parted one of them motherly reached out and squeezed my hand. It made me feel less lonely here.
Eleven hours of train and Iāve arrived in NYC from MontrĆ©al. As always I had a wonderful time in MTL, some acroyoga jamming at Ashtanga with acroyoga teacher training friends, then off to the Tam Tams where new friends weāre found. They invited me to a BBQ and I may have ruined Australiaās reputation as grill masters. But I had a wonderful time, some new Canadian beers, and met some really inspiring people.
It may be easier to scratch the surface of NYC once I lose this awkward backpack :)
$6 entry fee, the customs officer feel the love
The recruiting centre at Times Square.
This is my first French song with a lot of help from Adrijana and Julie.
# Frost Goatee # MontrĆ©al TripSeven nights was a good start for my exploration ofĀ MontrĆ©al. Iāve created a travel mapĀ which will continue to be updated as the city revealsĀ itself. My French came in handy and I ordered most of my meals in a chewed up Australian version of French. For the most part got what I wanted. I was lucky enough to meet some really interesting people, friends of friends of friends etc and also a special lady :) Great dinner/lunch/coffee company and conversation was always easy to find. One night we watched The Kids Are All RightĀ (IMDB lies, itās way better then 7.1)Ā at a new friends home. After the film we spent 15 minutes analysing what we had just watched. During the conversation I remember thinking, this is a wonderful place and Iām really enjoying my life :)
Just for Laughs Gags is an awesome show but now I canāt takeĀ MontrĆ©al police seriously. Whenever I saw a cop I would look at them sideways expecting them to do something funny.
There was an audio visual piece at theĀ MontrealĀ MuseumĀ of Fine Arts about some Canadian RiotsĀ in 2011. I watched the whole thing waiting for the gag. It turns out that 140 people were injured during the riot so I probably shouldnāt have been staring at the screen with a smile on my face.
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The Kingās Beavers - Kent Monkman, 2011
The Arrest of Christ - Antoine Plamondon, 1839
Mile de VerchĆØres - Louis-Pholilippe HĆ©bert, ~1907
Wo bist De, Edison, ā¦? Hanging Lamp -Ā Ingo Maurer GmbH, 1997
# Skating in the old port for NYE in MontrƩal
Bad photos but you get the idea.
# Skating
All the outdoor rinks were snowed under so Iām trying out my 1966 Bauer Black Partners on an indoor rink. $27 delivered from Kijiji (Gumtree for Canadians). My skates have more skating experience then me :)
The girl on the right did end up falling over.
# Favourite pieces at MusƩe des Beaux-arts MontrƩal (round 1)The Montreal Museum of Fine Art is housed in 4 building connected by underground tunnels. It contains some really interesting prices, here are my favourites.
Old enemy, New victim - Tony Matelli, 2006
Action Painting II - Mark Ramsey, 1984
Christmas White House - ErrĆ³, 1974
An Adultās Toy - BGL (a collective founded in Quebec City), 2003
Gong 96 - Claude Tousignant, 1966
Corner Peel and Sainte-Catherine - Adrien HĆ©bert, ~1948
Storm Brewing over Hochelaga - Marc-AurĆØle Fortin, ~1940
Lady in Black - Mrs. Albert Henry Steward Gillson, born Olive May McChleary, ~1936
5pm is closing time on Sundays which means the majority of the collection is yet to be explored. Iāll return to finish my list of favourites.
# Yellow monstersThere was a record snow dump in Montreal on the day I arrived. 45cm of fun blanketed the city.
Outside there are yellow metal monsters eating the snow. Big trucks full of plain snow cones are rolling by, possibly trying to lure the monsters out of the city.
Yesterday I played acro yoga with the Montreal crew and Marisol. Now Iām on the hunt for flat ice to try out my newly sharpened skates.
The sugar coated landscape has changed from ghostly white to pale blue now that the sun has disappeared. At times the windows are a single colour as the train throws up a cloud of winter. A snow storm and a 20 minute walk await me in Montreal hopefully followed quickly by a drink by a window.
# Settling in to CanadaSeven and a half weeks later, pretty much Canadian eh? Acro yoga, friendly work mates, and a lovely housemate have made settling in easy. Ottawa has a really nice outdoorsy vibe and now that Iām dressedĀ appropriatelyĀ I can enjoy it. Tomorrow I set off forĀ MontrĆ©al for seven days staying at a hostel.Ā MontrĆ©al is the acro yogaĀ meccaĀ and Iāll be meeting up for at least one class while Iām there. A picture tells a thousand words so here is 11 thousand words.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
Tonight Iām playing with the Ottawian Ruby crowd at Ruby Tuesday hosted by Shopify. My notes are limited as there was free beer.
First talk - Internationalization by @J3
Internationalization - done once
localization - done at each location
You should internationalization your code even if your only deploying to one locale
Locales are a mix of geography and language
Donāt write magic in your code, magic in programming is processes that you havenāt taken the time to understand yet.
Copy should be itās own set. Text āArticle was createdā = Concept āsuccessful article createdā
āA method longer than 8 lines has something wrongā
# My new leader/neighbour
Sloth Harper!
# Leaving for CanadaFor the last 6 months Iāve had the awesome pleasure of working for Amnesty International Australia playing with databases. The purpose of the role was to automate processes and give internal sections more tools so they can do their jobĀ effectively. My sister Sam explained itĀ succinctly as, removing the human fromĀ humanitarian. TheĀ organisationĀ draws some really interesting and talented people together and Iām really going to miss them all. On the up side there is scope for a similar role at Amnesty International Canada and Iām on my way to play with them. I was approaching the 31 years old cut off for the youth working visa in Canada so I had decided to organise it earlier in the year to give me options. There wereĀ rumoursĀ of a possible start date in a week and last Saturday my boss gave me a call and asked if I would like to start Monday week in Canada. Now Iām sitting at the airport with a one way ticket and new noise cancelling headphones. I decided on headphones so they can double ear muffs, apparently itās cold in Canada.
Itās pretty awesome because with time differences it works out as a long weekend! This morning was spent hanging out with my family which was nice. My sister and mum brought the Zās down (Zander and Zalhi my nephew and niece) for a visit because of the short notice. My flight was just called for boarding, I love you all and Iāll see you shortly. Please Skype me!
# Land Down Under by a Mexican Wrestling Bunny # Let them eat wedding cakeIn early 2012 the House of Representatives conducted an online survey to provide a simple means for the public to voice their views on same-sex marriage. When the survey closed on the 20th of April, it had received 276,000 responses, 64.3% of them in support of same-sex marriage. However, last weekĀ the Lower House voted down the Marriage Amendment Bill 2012Ā 42 to 98.Ā Using Google Fusion Tables, geo data from the AustralianĀ BureauĀ ofĀ Statistic, and the results of the recent bill I created a map which shows how the population of eachĀ electorateĀ was represented by their member ofĀ parliament. Red for electoratesĀ representedĀ with a no, orange forĀ abstained, and green for electoratesĀ represented with a yes. This very red close up of the Sydney area makes me feel very unrepresented.
Click here to see the full map.
IĀ recognise gay marriageĀ even if my government doesnāt.Ā On the up side, the following 42 members ofĀ parliamentĀ believe that two people who love each other should have the right to marry. Thank you for representing me even if youāre not myĀ representativeĀ :)
Has his mum ever been on the Internet? What did she think was going to happen?
Why the Fuck did the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?
Hereās aĀ templateĀ Internet, enjoy!
Ā 
Ā 
Ā
# Sunday fishing
Fishing (not catching) at the Basin on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.
# Facehoo!Facebook and Yahoo are working together to liberate your personalĀ information. Be careful before reading ā10 Signs Your Relationship is Overā if youāre still in a relationship and it might be a good idea to log out of Facebook before visiting your favourite sites š
Trampoline Day is a self organised event and today was the first time the event had been held in Sydney. It is a two wayĀ dialogueĀ where anyone who wishes gets anĀ opportunityĀ to run a talk. Mine was on Open Source and Iāll upload the YouTube video shortly.Ā Here are my notes from today.
Mornings talks
Knowledge managementĀ with Aprill @aprillarm
50% of execs are at retirement age
Knowledge management is a process
Everyone can write, but donāt use two words when one will do. Simple plan language.
Donāt need a fancy tool or template, it just needs to be organized.
5 x W and a H.
Peerfunding with Tom from StartSomeGood @tomjd
Tax benifits do not matter for crowd funding
Emotional not tax benifits as reason for donations
Crowd funding is peerfunding, a community not anonymous people
Kick starter is not a crowd of people who like giving away money. Funds go to community products. Start with friends and your community.
Know the names of your first 5 supporters
You never see an empty tip jar
Investment, have something you want, want to give, want you to succeed
Kick starter is not a community, it is a tool.
Ask for help.
Community creativity and social changeĀ with Michelle @mia_will
Creating business that have a social environmental impact
The way we interact with information is changing
Social enterprise
Afternoon talks
3D printing with Adam
http://www.thebeehive.net.au
Growing from entrepreneurĀ to big business with Peter
Identify what you canāt do when you have the ability to get more people in an organization.
Fear of unknown not change, inform the people of the changes
Asone app
Keep some things similar to help people deal with change
Dunbars number
Inter-generational with John
Bono with 35 million emails
Threats to non profits from social movements
Sign language - Jen
Talk with mouth full
200 active sign languages plus more dialects
Long history of signing, ancient greek references
Deaf culture, sign names (has to be made by deaf person), has very strong eye contact, tell like it is
3d grammer, theater in front of you, using space as idea similar to variables
Sign bank online
Design with Jess
Products made from land fill www.xstransformed.com
My girl friend and I recently broke up. In the last few days Iāve been organising moving out, finding a new place, redirecting mail, terminating joint bank accounts etc. But the tech era has introduced a new dimension to breaking up. Dee and I lived together and shared our online selves. Tools like google latitude meant we always knew where each other were, with shared calendars we knew where each other were going to be, and with facebook, twitter, gmail chat, etc we were always up to date with what each other were doing. Since the breakup I have been constantly reminded of Deeās existence. Facebook prominently displays Deeās face when I log in and gmail suggesting I include her in emails to my friends and family. So since the breakup I have been trying to distance myself from digital Dee. I have stop sharing my calendar, removed Dee from latitude, de friended her on Facebook, stopped following her on Twitter, hidden her in gmail chat, and even ended our draw something game (which was up to 99 games!). Itās not that I want to deny Dee and I were every together or that I never want to be friends with Dee again, itās just a little fresh and the Internet is a bloody insensitive idiot when it comes to break ups š
Weāre at the Basin which is about 2km north of our starting location. Itās a lovely place but I think the Australian land mass us moving north faster then us. The winds werenāt favourable and the East Australian Current (the underwater highway in Finding Nemo) wanted to go south. After a trip to the 360 degree liquid horizon we had only traveled only 5 were north and the crew were mostly green. With this in mind the decision was made to cut our losses and wait for the winds to agree with our travel plans.
It definitely could be worse :)
# Sails set for BrisbaneThe Laura Court has set sails for the trip to Brisbane. Alan (skipper), Gaten, John, helan, and myself onboard. First scheduled stop is Port Stephens which with current winds should be in our sights by early tomorrow morning.
Recently I moved to the Kings Cross area and have noticed a big difference in the quality of coffee so Iāve started rating the shops on coffee quality alone (my drink of choice is a latte with honey on the side). Then I pushed the info into a Google Map that you can access from your mobile by clicking here or if technology doesnāt fail me, it should appear embedded below. Green is good (4 or 5), yellow is alright (3), and red isnāt great (1 or 2).
View Gregologyās Guide to Cross Coffee in a larger map or on a mobile device
# Chocolate Space SoufflĆ©Gravity is useful in keeping ingredients in mixing bowls but not very useful when trying to make a fluffy soufflĆ©. Space chefs will be able to create deserts with densities which would normally collapse like the iron core of a red supergiant during supernovaĀ (Iām trying to use space references).
This is my chocolate space soufflƩ recipe (note: some of the technology required for this recipe is yet to be invented)
Ingredients
Preparation
For the fluffiest result ensure the tractor beam in your zero gravity automatic rotational specific euthermic (arse) cooker has the ability to slowly rotate partial liquids in multiple directions, this is required forĀ centrifugalĀ expansion.
Step 1
Melt chocolate and butter to 50Ā°C in your arse (note: egg white coagulates at 65Ā°C so it is important to keep the chocolate below this temperature)
Step 2
While the brown goo is rotating in your arse slowly add the eggs, cream, and brandy. Set the tractor beam in your arse to a rotational speed of 10rpm and reduce temperature to 35Ā°C
Step 3
After 5 minutes of mixing in your arse set the rotational speed to 3rpm and over 15 minutes lower the temperature to 3Ā°C (if your arse doesnāt have a cooling function, place contents outside not in direct sunlight in pressurized container)
Step 4
Enjoy!
Remember, no one can weigh you in space š
# Custom Harley-Davidson Motor Scooter
vs 
The V-Rod had hog like styling while the Jolie had under seat storage and hooks for you shopping bags. There were some other minor differences but in the end I decided to go with the Jolie with a side of hog
After a few hours in paint I had come up with this image "Harley-Davidson Motor Scooter"
I then bought these ingredients for about $30
Spent two days toiling at a friends house
But it was worth it to have a shiny new custom Harley-Davidson hog
And when it's dark it's pretty hard to tell them apart. Other bikies have started nodding back, I'm like a real life bikie now
Here are some more pictures to help you if you would like to do something similar, please feel free to ask questions
This is a wikijam project if you would like to add to or remix this song in any way :)
# Train tripsI have been catching the train from Newcastle to Sydney a couple of times a week lately. There is some reallyĀ stunningĀ views from Hornsby to Gosford so I snapped some images on my phone and here they are.
This puppy followed me home.
Her bum kind of looked like Jesus.
I put up some āPuppy Foundā noticesĀ and then I let her sleep in my bed.
The next day I took her to the local vet and her owner picked her up.
I miss having a dog :(
I have been playing around with augment reality apps for Android and thinking of useful ways toĀ integrateĀ them into my every day life. Augmented reality fashion will allow us to change ourĀ appearanceĀ with a push of a button. Imagine having a video conference wearing a comfortable t-shirt but appearing as though you are wearing a suit. OtherĀ applicationsĀ include awesomeĀ HalloweenĀ costumes, girlfriends getting ready quickly, and never turning up to a party wearing the same clothes as someone else. This is just a fun proof of concept but I will attempt to make more useful 3d models to augment over the real t-shirt.
Augmented reality is in its infancy but in the future we should be able to create really usefulĀ applicationsĀ such as augmented girlfirends.
<img wp-image-831ā title=āAugmented reality girlfriendā src=ā/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/IMAG0518.jpgā width=ā100%ā height=āautoā /> If you are interested in making your own AR t-shirt follow this quick how to and download the AndAR Android App.
Step one: get someone else to buy you a t-shirt
Step two: test proof of concept
Step three:Ā get someone else to cut out screen printing stencil
Step four:Ā align and tape stencil on t-shirt
Step five: screen print
Step six:Ā play with cool AndAR Screen printed t-shirt
I have finally updated my site in preparation of my new Android phone. Nerd talk now. Previously Gregology.net was run on a custom content management system I made with the blog running on wordpress. Now Iāve migrated the whole site onto wordpress with the zBench theme.
# ARDEV Camp SydneyIām currently at the Augmented Reality Developers Camp at the Powerhouse Museum in Sydney. Iāll edit this post during the day as new interesting things come up :)
Links
Things to research
Ideas
Android Apps installed
Images
AndAR model
The ultimate goal :)
Dās get degrees too apparently, that was a nice surprise. Iām settling back into civi life, walking slower and getting use to checking Iāve got my phone and keys as opposed to checking Iāve got my pistol and ID. After biding goodbye to my comrades in KAF we spent 3 days in Amib conducting shopping, drinking, and tan ops. The fastest Iād travelled in a car for 5 months was 40km/h so going 60 around base in Amib was scary fast. After a bit of admin Matty, Barry, Jack, and I hit the town of Dubai for about 10 hours. Shopping wasnāt as great as I had been led to believe. The shopping centre was massive with a three story fish tank and waterfalls but it just felt like a roomy, classy, and somewhat empty Westfield. We enjoyed a Cap from a ceramic mug then headed to an Irish bar to hit the piss. As soon as the taxi driver took off seatbelts went on. He sped us to the bar and we need a beer to calm our nerves from his erratic driving. Drinks rained down in front of me thanks to table service and I spent most of the night playing catch up on thick Guinness. Jackās mate from Darwin met us in town wearing surprisingly revealing clothes, things had obviously changed from the days of religious police hitting women who showed off their slutty ankles. We could only convince our DDs to stay for a couple of drinks before they returned us to base. After a few drunken shenanigans involving Mattyās sheets I hit the sack in and waited for the hangover. The next day I passed an imaginary fitness test and shoot which covered me for 6 months and boarded a plane home to Sydney after a brief hop in Darwin.
My WO from TK was at the airport to pick me and my 8 bags up. He took me home and helped me get my bags into my room. The door opened revealing a mess and a note from accommodation letting me know my room was a mess but none of the junk was mine. Old mate next door had been storing rubbish and other assorted crap in my room while I was away. I wanted to put my head down after 17 hours of flying but instead I spent an hour cleaning up his crap. Needless to say I wasnāt impressed. Dee was working until 6 which gave me enough time to get some nice food and flowers and I met Dee at her place. It was great to see Dee again, hugging her I realised how much Iād missed her. We enjoyed good food amongst other things ;) and then on Saturday I headed up to Newcastle with Dee to see the family. The Zās had become similar in size while I was away. Either Zander had shrunk or Zahli had grown but Zander still had the motor skills to put Zahli in her place. Dee and I dressed up as Easter bunnies and even though my face was showing, I donāt think Zander got that it was me. He hasnāt yet figured out that Stu and I are two different people. Anzac day was dawn service at Martin Place, followed by a nap, followed by the commando service, followed by lots of drinking. Stu and Janell joined Dee, my army mates, and I at the city hotel. Five medals hung off my pimping tailored suit I picked up in KAF.
Iāve had a bit of time to reflect on my time in the Ghan. Itās strange to say that I enjoyed it. Even the rocket attacks gave me a story. I would probably do it again if offered. The new COIN initiatives NATO is employing seem to be helping and giving a few more years we might actually be able to leave Afghanistan in a better condition than we entered it. I justified my involvement in the War by classing myself as a consciousness participant. I think representative democracy is currently the best form of government and while I may not necessarily support War, I believe that my participation in War will increase itās morality. My mum was glad to see me when I returned and that made me reflect on all the mothers in Afghanistan. While my mum was worried that I might not come home, a lot of mothers in Afghanistan know their sons are not coming home. An idea (Islam or democracy) can be as viral as any biological disease and lead to the same amount of useless deaths.
# Scooter for an art workIām back from my little trip :) My little scooter looked pretty lonely while I was away and I want him to feel important and loved again so Iāve put him up on Gumtree to try and swap him for an art work or a funky teapot.<table WIDTH=100%> <tr VALIGN=TOP> <td WIDTH=33% STYLE=āborder: none; padding: 0cmā> <p ALIGN=CENTER>
Iāll make my decision by the end of this super long weekend and hopefully have a funky artwork to share with you soon :)
So far Iāve had a half a dozen offers including an interesting painting of Lieyton Hewitt with āTennis Poxā, some antique flower paintings, and a silver tea service set.
# Handover and coffee toursMy replacement (Amy) is here and my handover is complete :) Itās a nice feeling. Today I took Amy for a final drive around base making sure to point out all the decent coffee shops. My handover also involved teaching Amy how to play the ukulele. Iāll leave Amy my bush uke, Iām trying to get rid of as much weight as possible before I head home.
On Tuesday I played my first paid gig. Wes at the NAAFI gave me an open mic for a set of two songs and paid me in coffee. I played Iām yours and hallelujah. My nervous fingers played in fast-forward and I made a lot of mistakes but I still got a clap at the end.
On Friday I finally got outside the wire. Camp Hero has a heavy weapons range and is about 3 km from KAF. We visited to play with thermite grenades and old cars. On the way home we visited a Soviet tank grave yard. Apparently some of the tanks still start over 20 years later.
Iāve got 2000 words due for an assignment which is stressing me out, Pās get degrees and my last assignment was a Pass + :)
Two weeks left in country :) In Kandahar city, 16 km away, 17 UN workers were killed by a mob who were pissed off about some guy in the US burning the Koran. It really annoyed me that a book can create so much hate. Itās not just the Koran, the book burner was some kind of pastor who was motivated by his own silly book. People need education both here and in the West. Apart from a few rocket attacks and a splash back incident in one of the portaloos, everything here has been quite pleasant. The RAAF had their birthday and they know how to throw a party, smoked salmon and cheese platters, roasted animals, and the 10th Mountain Division band.
Itās dry now and the dust is fine and everywhere. By the time I get up from night shift, the Sun is sitting in a low cloud of dust, a perfect golden circle. Running outside leaves me coughing up mud so I stick to the treadmill. My routine will soon change as I get ready to handover to my replacement. No more spending afternoons playing the Uke at the NAAFI. Hopefully I will still get down to the NAAFI tomorrow for trivia, old mate behind the bar said heād give me an open mic session :) . My morning routine will also change with my omelette mate. Currently, a nod gets me for eggs with the lot and a plain omelette (for Rach). Then I normally have a chat with whomever I am sitting near. I met some US Army civilians, they wear uniforms but are non combatants so they didnāt carry weapons. I asked them about their status in regards to the Geneva convention, they werenāt really sure. One from Alabama convinced me to put salt on my watermelon, I complied as a cultural experience but I wasnāt impressed.
I gave my NAAFI friend my email so he can look us up if heās ever in town. He always sorts us out, the other day Matty was at the end of a long line and he got us a sly regular on the house. Our regular is a gay cap and a hot chocolate, a gay cap has honey in it and thatās less manly apparently, I have to bring my own honey and leave it behind the bar. Quick confession, I may have stuffed up the power box. We had a power outage and I started the generator as per normal, however, when the mains power was back online, I re attached both power sources at the same time. There were some flashes and then darkness. I managed to get us back on generator power but whatever I broke stopped us from using mains. Iām keeping the Tech employed.
My mum friended Dee (my kind of girlfriend) on Facebook. They havenāt meet and itās really weird, I think Iāll have to unfriend my mum for misuse.
# Ramp Ceremony for Sapper Jamie LarcombeI havenāt written for a while because Iāve been lazy. A lot has happened in the month and a half since my last entry. Iāll try my best to fill you in. Another one of our boys (Sapper Jamie Larcombe) was killed on the 20th of February, this time from small arms fire. We lined the ramp ceremony and again an Aslav took the body to an awaiting RAAF Aircraft. He was from the same unit as Corporal Richard Atkinson, and while itās terrible that we lost another solider, itās kind of comforting that at least heās with a mate.
My last days in TK were a little sad, all my mates were excited about going home and I was leaving them early on a new adventure. Donāt get me wrong, I am really excited about staying and glad I have been given the opportunity to do so, itās just that Iāve been with these guys for 6 months. Smokey left early to play being a dad for the second time and with voice overs from the boys I made him a going away video with voice overs on a really poor 80ās action flick. By leaving early I did however miss a visit from Kevin Rudd, and Iām pretty sure Iām the only person in SOCOMD who voted for him, a fact that Bathy kept secret for me. Before I left I did manage to break someoneās air-conditioning, just in time for summer. They had iced up and we were told to turn our air-conditioning off until the ice melted. That logic didnāt make sense to me seen as though we had them on heat, so I went around the side to investigate. I couldnāt reach my unit but found someone elseās covered in ice. I gave it a kick to dislodge the ice and it fell into the fan making a deafening sound. No one saw me directly but I had to get out of the area quickly, so I walked swiftly and with purpose back to room. It was still loud in my room and I was getting nervous, some of the guys from the building next door had seen me escape the scene just after the loud noise started. My shift was soon to start so I again walked swiftly past the witnesses with the loud noise continuing. Suddenly, when I was just in front of the witnesses, there was a loud crack and the noise disappeared. I continued as if nothing had happened but their eyes followed me to the brew point. Their stares burned so I left with a half made coffee to the safety of the commcen. Nothing as yet has come of my adventure with the air-conditioning.
Now that Iām in KAF things have slowed down, the job here is very low tempo and Iām working with some really good people (they donāt wake me up to move dirt like Jack-arse Brett would). My bosses are also interested in my input. I felt under utilised in TK and itās nice to know that these kinds of people and this kind of work exists in SOCOMD. Iāve even started studying full time while Iām here and I have the time because I do constant night shift (which basically involves watching movies and surfing the Internet). KAF has a lot more going on too, most nights I head down to the NAFFI with Matty to get coffees, Triva and BBQs are common (Iāve gotten pretty good at the movie trivia :) ), and I even got to see Tom Green preform live as part of the Canadian Tour de Force show. There is a ridiculous amount of shopping here, cafes, gyms and apart from the occasional IDF attack and the risk of being raped, it actually feels quite normal. To give you an idea of the war I am fighting, there are 5 mains messes (Weāve been trying out a few different ones to mix it up), many other smaller ones, at least 6 cafes (the French PX is the best but I spend most time at the British one, it kind of feels more like home with their accents plus itās closest), 3 restaurants (donāt expect much from a steak in the Gahn, rare apparently means cold), half a dozen fast food joints (including KFC), over a dozen gyms, and dozens of stores selling everything you could possibly want. All this while earning some decent cash. I was talking to some of the American soldiers who do the same job as me and as an Australian soldier, I earn more in 4 months than they earn in 12. I didnāt let him know that.
Iām in a nice routine now, the omelette guy makes me breakfast (He still remembers my order and I think that Iād prefer to have a usual then have variety and risk not feeling like a local), sleep for a few hours, PT (sometimes, Iāve been a bit lazy of late and Iāve got the studying full time excuse that I only use for PT not for Coffee breaks), then maybe a few odd jobs, followed by 8 hours of āworkā (which Iām doing right now :) ).
# Extension in CountryMy trip has been extended until April but Iāll be back to party by ANZAC day. Hump day (the halfway mark) had already passed and it was weird hitting that point twice. It was a compliment being asked to stay longer and Iāve got nothing else to do :) The position is in KAF and Iām looking forward to good coffee again. My next uni session starts in two weeks (Theories of Justice and Film & Philosophy) and Iāve got the books to read on shift. Itās probably a good time to leave here, Iāve pulled a few pranks that might come back to bite me soon. My unpopular boss was out at a FOB and requested his USB HD to help pass the time. I got my hands on it and filled it with chick flicks movies and TV shows and hid everything he already had on it. After some pissed off radio traffic I let him know how to get his files back. We all had a good laugh but heāll be back and in charge again soon but I should miss him :)
Since my last entry Egypt has disposed itās dictator leadership which many attribute to a domino effect of the wikileaks incident. Julian Assange seems to have done more for spreading democracy in the 4 months Iāve been in Afghanistan than the whole 10 year war on terror. A Norwegian politician, Snore Valen, has nominated Julian Assange for the Nobel peace prize, he said āItās easy to support freedom of speech when the one who speaks agrees with you politically.ā
# Ramp Ceremony for Corporal Richard AtkinsonYesterday was the ramp ceremony for an MTF digger, Corporal Richard Atkinson who died last week from an IED. We along with Americans, Slovaks, Dutch, and others helped the MTF line the route to the awaiting RAAF Hercules. The procession was lead by a chaplain and the casket was carried in the back of an Aslav As Richard Atkinsonās body rolled pass we came to attention and threw a salute. Following the casket was a slow marching party made up of representatives of other militaries and government organisations. I noticed two Afghani soldiers in the group walking with very little purpose, as if they didnāt want to be there. When thousands of their own are killed each year, I suppose so much effort for one loss might seem excessive.
Iāve been back in TK for a couple of weeks now and Iām stilling missing the perks of KAF. At breakfast in KAF there was a guy who made to order fresh omelettes. On my first visit I went with the lot and then every visit there after he remembered my āregularā. I wanted to mix it up and try different combinations of fillings but I didnāt want to offend the guy so I tried to disguise myself by wearing different clothes and shaving my distinctive moe (which I was glad to get rid of anyway, ladies in the gym replied to my friendly smiles with screwed up faces and I was only growing my moe out of spite to my TK boss anyway). The rouse worked and from that day onwards I enjoyed eggs with cheese everyday.
Winter has painted the top of the surrounding mountains and recent rain has caught all the airborne dust creating some beautiful scenery. On the flight back to TK I got a window seat and enjoyed watching the rippled mountains flow beneath me.
My experiences here arenāt very wary. Yesterday for instance, I spent the day making a tortoise enclosure for Cracker (the tortoise with a cracked shell) and Jimmy (the tortoise next to the tortoise with a cracked shell). Today I buried one of the baby tortoises (Speedy who died from complications resulting from falling off a table, I named the tortoise enclosure camp Speedy in his honour) and went to town on an excel spreadsheet. I managed a few radio checks but at least in KAF we get rocket attacks, Iām missing the action and coffee.
The rain turned the runway at TK into mud which delayed my departure date but on the 12th of January a little Hercules aircraft took me for a 30 minute ride to Kandahar Air Field (KAF). KAF is a little city with traffic jams, TGI Fridays, KFC, coffee shops, speed cameras, ghettos, and a population of about 30,000. Iāll be here for just over a week so Iām trying to make the most of this rest bite. While here, Iām working night shift which means watching movies and calling the TK commcen to shoot the shit. Itās a little boring but no one bothers me and it gives me time to explore during the day. Night shift can be a little isolating but Iām trying to mingle. We had the fortnightly Saturday afternoon BBQ a couple of days ago. The BBQ was interrupted by a rocket attack, the sirens yelled and I just copied everyone else and lay on the ground. After 2 minutes we moved to bunkers, those with more experience took some lobster tail from the hot plate with them.
Before I left TK I had an interesting job relaying information from a camera to the troops on the ground. My job was to tell the guys on the ground what people around them were doing. It was early morning so basically my job was to broadcast the bowel movements of the locals, like a futuristic peeping tom. I tried to mix it up by using different euphemisms but it was still oddly uncomfortable to be spying on someone taking a dump. For the hours that I was on poo reporting duty, I thought I was looking at a black and white screen until someone wearing red entered view. It was weird, like the film techniques in Schindlerās list. Everything just looked so brown and lifeless.
# Happy New YearHappy New Year! While my Sydney mates were partying I was playing on a radio trying to play it cool while my field mates sent in contact reports. The TB had the decency to allow the boys out field to close one contact report 10 minutes before midnight Sydney time before it kicked off again 10 minutes after midnight Sydney time. The army gave me two sets of multicams (which was good because I tore one pair of my old cams climbing the fence to get back into camp after forgetting the gate combination) and two beers (which we didnāt end up having to pay for after some apparent uproar in Australia) for christmas :) I havenāt changed sides, they are just testing a new cam design. They werenāt wrapped but I still appreciate the thought. My family went to more effort, Zander and Zalhi have been writing to me non stop and Iāve plastered my walls with their efforts, even covering some of the porn on my walls (from the previous occupant, Iām not complaining though). On a side note, woman have a positive effect on the morality of groups so maybe all the porn here is actually a good thing although some of these girls are very very naughty so maybe not. I digress. While Iāve been away Iāve been sticking to my Paleo diet (eating like a cave man). Fittingly, Iāve got worms just like a caveman would have. A lot of the guys here are on hydroxycut and alike, I think worms are a paleo alternative. It was becoming unbearable so I hit up the doc and Iām medicated.
Iām feeling quite settled now so Iāve started getting up to mischief. By playing my cards carefully Iām getting the most out of my efforts. My plan is to trick people into tricking each other, I want to be the puppet master of piratical jokes. Already two victims are planning elaborate piratical jokes against each other, unknown to them that they are merely pawns in my quest for entertainment.
I was thinking about fate and finding the right one and Iāve come to the conclusion that if there is one right person for every other person, then life would be boring. I choose to believe that there are many right ones out there and that I have the power to choose one of them. I hope that doesnāt sound unromantic, I kind of think itās more romantic if the individuals have a choice in it.
This year has been the deadliest for coalition forces in Afghanistan. Ten Australian soldiers and over 700 coalition forces have died here. While Iāve been here Wikileaks has been releasing more government documents and this hasnāt gone down well here. It has the possibility of making life more dangerous for deployed Aussie diggers but it raises an interesting point, who owns secret government documents? If the people own the government and the government owns the documents, then the people own the documents. It has been a really interesting insight into international politics and assumed ownership of information. Governments are themselves becoming more open with their data with initiative such as the UKās National Archive. I think this decade is going to be to information what love was to the 60ās.
# Caught Out, why it's a bad idea to lie to your mumThe cat is out of the bag. Today I received an email from my sister letting me know that my CO had sent out an email detailing the importance of our work in Afghanistan. This is a little bit problematic because I had told my family that I was playing army in the Solomon Islands. If my family didnāt know, they wouldnāt worry and them worrying wouldnāt make this trip any easier for them or me. My mum had started to clue on that something was different and she made me swear on my life that I wasnāt going to Afghanistan. I did, thinking that it was funny to swear on my life that I wasnāt doing something because it was dangerous.
Our shift roster is taking it toll and I feel tired most of the time and as such, I havenāt spent much time at the gym (thatās my excuse for being lazy :) ). Basically we do 8 hours on, 8 hours off, 8 hours on, 8 hours off, 8 hours on, 18 hours off, 4 hours on, 12 hours on, and repeat. Thatās why I probably wonāt be writing too much while Iām away, that and the fact that Iām living a ground hog day life atm :) While I was at the dentist (brush in circles not horizontally :( ) I heard about a young American bloke in the emergence ward who had lost his legs and an arm to an IED. It puts it in perspective, Iām loosing sleep while more unfortunate blokes on both sides are loosing limbs and lives and children are loosing parents and the chance at an education.
# Toilet troubleIām sitting on the toilet completing this entry with a lot of fluid leaving my behind. In the background I can hear an Apache firing rounds and missiles. It feels pretty wary. Weāve had a few rocket attacks so far, nothing too close but Iām sure theyāll get closer as I get older :) We arrived in country after a 20 hour stop over in the UAE. As we got off the C17 there was an Apache hovering above firing. It felt like the right place.
I left a girl behind in Sydney. Dee works at Macquarie uni and I met her playing ultimate frisbee. Weāre pretty similar in lots of ways, weāre both pretty scared of commitment and how it changes us. Iām not sure I ever want to get married, Iāve got so much still left to do and Iām scared that I wonāt be able to do it if Iām in a committed relationship. We both felt this way and we entered our relationship knowing that when I left for this deployment that we would break up. That isnāt how I framed it with the boys and they are having fun at my expense regarding my decision.
# Arriving In Afghanistan17 days down, about 90 to go :) Iām in Afghanistan enjoying the taste of the fine dust of Urganzan and the scenic mountains which surround to create the Tarin Kowt bowl. After 4 long months of training, Iām finally here and Iāve settled in. It feels like a dusty version of barracks. The cold has started but the mountains are still bare and once the sun rises above the dust horizon it is actually quite pleasant. In my short time here Iāve got myself one wary (war story).
Just prior to my shift in the commcen, I got a nose bleed and after a couple of minutes of feeling dizzy I collapsed in front of all the Charlies. The Charlies nursed me until the doctor arrived and I spent the night hooked up to an IV drip at the yank hospital 100 meters from where I sleep. Because I was technically a transfer I was classified as a casualty and as such notice of casualty (noticas) paperwork needed to be drawn up requiring me to inform my next of kin. Some blood tests revealed that I was a dehydrated which was a massive relief because it gave me a good excuse as to why I had fainted. The truth of the matter is, I donāt do so well with the sight of my own blood. Needless to say the dehydration option still didnāt satisfy everyone and I have been copping my fair share of flack :) But at least they donāt know the truth.
For the last 4 months Iāve been living in Randwick Barracks. Itās been great, $10 cab ride to Coogee, $20 to the city and Iāve made the most of it with the help from my army mates. With not much else to spend my money on, partying was a good option. PT every morning as improved my fitness and Iāve continued to get PBs in my fitness tests. It was difficult at first fitting into the new unit. Going from an Army Reserve unit into a full time special forces unit took some adjusting. There were a lot of pissing contests which I didnāt want to be involved in. SF units defiantly have their fair share of insecure men. I found that out on my second day when I was told quite forcibly by two senior people to stop bringing my tea cup in because itās gay. Now that Iāve established myself I am more able to be me. After about a month I bought my Ukulele but I will still keep that cup away from the shooters.
I need to chill out before I start shift, now that Iāve started this journal it will be easier to keep :)
# My recent adventuresFor the last few months Iāve been really really busy and havenāt had time to blog :( There are no signs of getting any free time in the near future but here is a quick update of whatās new in my world. Toe shoes (Vibram five fingers), an antique Soviet watch (Poljot, watch of the cosmonaut), Iām on a train (like Thomas the tank Engine), and my unbreakable phone broke (Iād done some mean things to the poor fellow) :( All of which is demonstrated by this photo.
There have been some other exciting events happening in my world lately. For instance, today my nephew Zander (2 Ā½ years old) pushed my niece / god daughter Zahli (18 months) into a pool. Zahli has only had one swimming lesson and clearly she wasnāt taking notes because she just lay face down. I jumped in and pulled her out but now Iām not sure if Iām a good uncle for saving her or a bad uncle for letting it happen in the first place. Either way, Iām pretty sure she has to save my life before weāre square.
When my unbreakable phone couldnāt take any more abuse I bought a new one with GPS. The novelty hadnāt worn off so I was using it to navigate me on a route I had used many times before. The phone came with a windscreen suction holder which I connected to the speedo on my scooter. While in tunnel part of the Eastern Distributor 4 hours after purchasing the phone it stopped sucking and I saw a sparkly object bouncing after me in my mirror :( It had the fortune of landing near the side of the tunnel and my phone still rang which was a nice twist. I was going away for a few days but Dee offered to help me with my little problem. After 3 phone calls and explaining the situation Dee organised for the Eastern Distributor Fairies to make a special trip to collect my lonely phone. It was returned to me with not a scratch on it, good ole Nokiaās. A day later while pocketing my phone I put a big scratch on the screen :(
A couple of weeks after my phone adventure my scooter was assaulted by a Volkswagen Transporter van :( It was a stationary accident but it wrote off my little union jack scooter. The gentleman in van was pleasant and he gave me alcohol mixes as compensation, later he gave me $1000 cash which was more useful.
# Kiva Micro FinanceYesterday I had a very conversation with my doctor. She had just finished a masters in politics and I didnāt have anything wrong with me so we ended up talking about global issues. She introduced me to Kiva, a micro finance organisation which links people with too much money to people with not enough money.
Kivaās mission is to connect people, through lending, for the sake of alleviating poverty.
While studying on Gov Love (Centrelink calls it youth allowance) my income was in the top 10% in the world. That wage was enough for me to live comfortably. Currently I am working full time and I just invested $250 in a ukulele (plus a bit more on a case). If I can spend $250 on myself I think I can invest a little in a stranger by lending them a bit of cash to improve their lives.
You can see where Iāve chosen to invest my money here. Ideally I would like to target my loans towards education and health projects but there arenāt many options in those fields, I suppose everyone wants to support those fields. If you find something especially worthy of support please let me know so I can help out :)
FYI This is an F chord on a Ukulele :) but I still donāt have a mic :(
The Ukulele had two votes to every one for the Banjo and Guitar (not including mine). Over 60 votes are recorded on the poll but 56 of them were computer generated to make me feel better about people actually caring what instrument I play :)
The search took the best part of the day but Allans Music sorted me out. When I entered there was a gentleman with his son playing the Ukuleles so I pressed him for advice and after 15 minutes I felt confident to start dealing with the sales persons. My new friend suggested paying at least $100 to get a good sound which he demonstrated by playing one of the $29 China jobs. I have no idea if I got a good deal but apparently it was end of year sales so my new toy, a KA-KC Kaia concert Hawaiian Koa Ukulele set me back $250 (reduced from $335). An electronic tuner set me back $10 but my card didnāt have enough money for a microphone, which is fine because I donāt think my playing is yet recording worthy :)
Cairns here I come!
# Experimenting with squattingThe toilet stalls at uni have anti squatting signs similar to this one.
At first I thought the idea of squatting on a toilet was silly but I donāt like blindly obeying signs and I like to try new things soā¦
And Iām glad I did, it is amazing! I have never felt so empty. After a little research I found out that squatting is the healthier option too. It minimises āfecal stagnationā (which just sounds awful) and reduces the risk of colon cancer, colitis, Crohnās disease, contamination of the small intestine, diverticulosis, gynecological disorders, heart attacks, hemorrhoids, hiatus hernia and GERD, pregnancy and childbirth issues, prostate disorders, and sexual dysfunction!
Tips for new squatters; aim forward and make sure there is a toilet brush available.
Yet again, not obeying a sign has worked out well for me.
# String instrumentBeing able to make music would be pretty cool so Iāve decided to buy a string instrument. Please help me decide, the choices Iām putting forward are;
If you have any other options that you feel are missing from this poll, please comment and Iāll put them in :)
# Water proof phoneLast Weekend I was out with some mates at a pub in Manly and I pulled out my water proof phone which obviously needed proving after a few drinks. It had been raining heavily for a few days and there was a bucket collecting water on the floor. While half way through a conversation with a mate I dropped it in, pulled it out, and the conversation continued. While it was pressed up against my face I noticed an odd smell. Soon after I figured out that we were on the ground floor of a two story pub so the water in the bucket wasnāt rain water.[
Iām back online with the help of Virgin Broadband (which evidently works find with Ubuntu 10.04/Mint 9 in Australia) and all the book reading I promised myself I would do never happened :( Having books in my room makes me look smart so theyāre still useful.
# Wildlife in PittwaterOnce a week I volunteer for the Street Mission sailing program. We take clients for a sail around Pittwater which is the next harbour north of Sydney. Here are some photos of wildlife Iāve taken.
There were thousands of jellyfish, this photo doesn't do it justice.
Here is a Wallaby at the Basin.
I came across this sponge while looking for a present for mothers day :) It was cheap but after handling it I got a rash and it felt like pins and needles on the inside of my skin. I don't think my mum would have liked it very much.
This is my favourite wildlife experience in Pittwater. I've seen dolphins before while sailing but these ones were different, they kept swimming sideways so they could look at me and once I moved from the back of the boat they followed me. It was very nice of them :)</center>
I've also seen fairy penguins, sea eagles (having sex, they're really really loud), and snakes but I haven't been quick enough with my camera :(
I found out today that Molly was put down yesterday. I loved that dog. I wasnāt going to see her again but for some reason itās harder to deal with knowing that sheās not existing atm even though she was never going to exist in my life. I know that might sound self centred but she wasnāt self aware and wasnāt scared of non existence so her death isnāt bad for her. Maybe Iām just trying to deal with her death :( She failed the tests they do to see if they can rehouse her. Stu said he would take her and find a home for her but by the time mum contacted the RSPCA today it was too late :( My mum said to me today āDo you think sheās getting on well with Lulu?ā I wanted to believe that but I couldnāt. Itās strange that people are only willing to accept non existence in 3 dimensions of the 4 common dimensions.
left, 1987 London, right, 2010 Sydney
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FYI frisbee is yet another thing that doesnāt work under water :ā(
I found an interesting spin video on ninemsn (video removed). The title āAbbott admits to policy liesā interested me enough to click. After watching the 7:30 Report I figured out what actually happened.
(Notice the tieā¦)
Tony said;
āThe statements that need to be taken absolutely as gospel truth are those carefully prepared, scripted remarksā.
Ninemsn reported this in a very colourful way. Their report started with the;
āShadow treasurer Joe Hockey has defended opposition leader Tony Abbottāsā¦ā
A clip from QandA was shown where Joe attacks Kevin for breaking his promises. The tale ended with images of Tony at a charity dinner and;
āā¦the event is aimed at raising money for youth cancer.ā
To be fair, they did make mention of Kevinās attendance at the dinner too but this was done while showing images of Tony talking to an attractive lady and no actually footage of Kevin at the event was shown. Ninemsn managed to report a story about a politician admitting they sometimes lie without actually showing the gaff. Well done! This is the motivation I need for my vote for policies site.
We had to get rid of Molly today :( she did some weird open mouthed kiss to Zanderās face and it was just a little disconcerting. I donāt think it was vicious but sheās a big dog and could still hurt the little ones. Sam also said she wasnāt comfortable with the way Molly looked at Zander. Mum and I took her to the RSPCA and they gave us a nice story about how theyāll find her a place in the country. I sat there with her and tried to remain calm so she wouldnāt sense my sadness but she knew something was up. She kept fretting. Sheās a beautiful dog and Iāll miss her. I really felt like Iād abused her trust by taking her to the RSPCA. The decision was quick and Iām still coming to terms with never seeing my dog again. Sam told me that dogs are more resilient than we think and that sheāll be fine where ever she goes, which helped a little. She kissed the receptionist on the face when she was collaring her and then Molly disappeared on a new adventure, one without me :(
# The proposed Burqa banThe whole burqa debate has got me worried. What affect will a ban on burqas have on my freedom of fancy dress or my freedom of motorbike helmet wearing? This has all kicked off again after burqa clad robbers held up a post office in France. There have been hundreds of helmet clad and fancy dress clad robbers so are two of my favourite pass times at risk? I am already greeted with this sign at fuel stations.
Which amuses me because the type of person that becomes a robber isnāt likely to be the type of person who obeys signs, and if they were this sign would be more effective.
I gimped this scene to illustrate my point.
Who is the dodgy one? There are 6 anonymous people in this scene, Mr Guy Fawkes, the helmet clad woman, the burqa clad woman, the child with the pixelled face, the baby under the cover, and whoever is watching them all on the security cameras. Itās funny how governments and the media focus on the form of anonymity that best suits their agendas. Itās a great way to distract us from the issues that will actually affect us like peak oil and unsustainable population growth. Iām not pro islam, I think their imaginary friend is as crazy as that of any other religion, but I donāt think weāre in a position to throw stones. Our indecency exposure laws forbid women from exposing their chests in public yet men are free to do so. My solution is walking around naked with an electronic burqa (infrared LEDs on a head band which blind security cameras), that way I can piss off everyone but not get caught by the fashion police :)
I came across an interesting site for the UK election. Vote for Policies suggests which party a user should vote for based on their selection of policies. The user selects issues that concern them, for instance Health, Education etc, and then is given a selection of the policies of the six major parties. The user does not know which policies belong to which party and at the end of the survey the website returns the party which best represents the users policy preference.
Would anyone be interested in working with me to set up a similar site for the up coming federal election? If I did it by myself Iām sure it would become a platform for socialist propaganda or turn in to a rant about how our politicians canāt tie Windsor knots.
One of these two will be our next Prime minister and neither can tie a Windsor knot :(
Yet this guy, a chick, and a teddy bear (I think he cheated) seem to do it just fine.
FYI Mr Rudd and Mr Abbott
See, I knew that would happenā¦
# Chat Roulette FunChat Roulette is a webcam chat site that matches you with a stranger. 25% of the time, the stranger is a guys waistĀ but most of the time you get a face. I was getting bored with that so I decided to have a little bit of fun. I installed a virtual webcam (Webcam Studio) and downloaded webcam videos made by children on YouTube. Here are the results
This guy asked if I was a virginā¦
At least this guy kept his underwear on
I had about 20 funny screenshots but only these 2 were appropriate for my blog. Most of the time it was a disgusted/concerned face that quickly hit the next button :)
# Professional sport is an oxymoronWikipedia told me that;
āA sport is commonly defined as an organised, competitive, and skillful physical activity requiring commitment and fair play.ā
Commercial sports pay their athletes to win games because winning games leads to profits for the private owners. The more games they win the more supporters they gain, the more supporters they gain the more valuable their advertisement space and the more merchandise they sell. Fair play doesnāt come into it, if it did, there wouldnāt be any need for referees (Yay for Ultimate Frisbee, the only true sport). I say that if professional football is a sport than so is being a postman.
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Once the purpose of the sports club is profit the sports club ceases to exists. There are a few examples of football clubs that are not run for profit. Spanish football club Barcelona unlike many other football clubs, is owned and run by the fans. Barcelona FC also donate their very lucrative players jersey advertising space to UNICEF.
It might be a bit out there but I also think professional clubs corrupt amateur athletes. Amateur athletes may not be directly competing for individual profits, but if they play in a sport with big money they may be motivated by future profits. The competitive aspect of sport should not be aimed at your opponents, theyāre there to challenge you to be your best. The purpose of the score board isnāt to beat your opponent, itās purpose is to motive you to play your best.
There are so many examples of unsportsmanlike acts in Professional sports and it really annoys me. Here are just a couple;
Maradonaās Hand of God goal in the 1986 Soccer World Cup quarter finals.
Hopoate inserting his fingers into the backsides of opposition players in an attempt to unsettle and unclog them.
And donāt get me wrong, Iām not saying that this kind of thing doesnāt occur in amateur competitions, Iām saying that once it does occur it stops being sport. And if youāre chasing an inflated piece of leather around a field with a group of guys for non sport related reasons, then youāre just weird.
# Beer, killer tunnels, and wet handsIāve given up on my āno drugsā crusade, society and cultural norms are against me :( I met my brother at a bar on Monday night and when I arrived there was a frosty Tooheys Old waiting for me. I then figured that Sunday will begin with ANZAC day traditions which is coffee and rum which is caffeine and alcohol in one hit! I figured my whole plan was doomed to failure, you win again society, Iāll do what Iām told. My weakness snowballed and I had a drink after work on Tuesday and a drink after frisbee tonight :s My āno drugsā crusade was an attempt to become a rational being by distancing myself from irrational culture (we drink the poisonous excrement of microscopic organisms, replace sleep with caffeine, and numb our bodies natural warnings with pain killers) but it is a difficult task. I think itāll be easier to find a rational reason to use social drugs, Iāll get started on that instead :)
Iāve moved home but home has moved. My mum has moved to Newcastle and Iāve moved in while Iām still a uni bum finishing off my degree, 7 months left :) I travel down to Sydney for work, street mission sailing program, and Mac Uni frisbee which has clocked up some kmās on my new bike. Interestingly, my fuel efficiency has increased from 23.5km/L to 24.5km/L since my speeding ticket so yay for the fuzz helping the environment and probably saving me money in the long run! Iāve become accustomed to my new bike which has an engine 13 times larger than my scooter. Itās started to get colder and the condensation on the inside of my visor makes pretty rainbow pattern around lights and night. It creates a kind of rainbow tunnel towards cars headlights. Itās very pretty but I avoid the urge try and ride through these tunnels because I am well aware that at the end of the tunnel is a ton of metal travelling towards me at 200km/h.
I observed something very strange in the toilets the other day :0 A man entered, urinated, dried his hands with paper towel, and leftā¦ but the gentleman never washed his hands. Very disturbing.
# Islands to start a new country2017 update: I bought a boat, follow along as we visit some of these islands.
Have you ever wanted to start your own country on some island? Here is a list of possible territories to conquer.
Kermadec Islands
Population: Uninhabited except for the permanently manned Raoul Island Station
Currently claimed by: New Zealand
Climate: Sub tropical
Area: 33km^2
Location: Pacific Ocean, near New Zealand, 29Ā°16ā²37ā³S 177Ā°55ā²24ā³W
Conquering may be difficult. Although the islands have a small population, they are government funded so they will have reinforcements. The Island some sort of sanctuary for birds but so was New Zealand at one stage.
Tetepare Island
Population: Uninhabited
Currently claimed by: Solomon Islands
Climate: Tropical
Area: 118km^2
Location: Pacific Ocean, near Solomon Islands, 8Ā°43ā²00ā³S 157Ā°33ā²00ā³Eļ»æ
This island is the largest uninhabited island in the Pacific and some conservationists believe that makes it special and worth protecting. There are traditional owners also which may have something to say about you claiming their land. There were scared off by head hunters a century ago so the same trick might work again :)
Blasket Islands
Population: Uninhabited
Currently claimed by: Ireland
Climate: Mild, moist and changeable
Area: ~20km^2
Location: Atlantic Ocean, near Ireland, 52Ā°05ā²21ā³N 10Ā°32ā²49ā³W
This island was occupied until the mid 20th century. It is very close to Ireland and there are some archaeological sites on the island which the locals may want protected.
Antipodes Islands
Population: Uninhabited
Currently claimed by: New Zealand
Climate: Cold and yucky
Area: 20km^2
Location: South Pacific, south of New Zealand, 49Ā°40ā²0.12ā³S 178Ā°46ā²0ā³E
These islands are not very friendly, in the middle of nowhere and cold. Also these islands are again some sort of nature reserve.
Palmyra Atoll
Population: 4-20 scientists
Currently claimed by: the United States
Climate: Tropical
Area: 12km^2
Location: Pacific Ocean, South of Hawaii, 5Ā°53ā²N 162Ā°5ā²W
Nomans Land
Population: Uninhabited
Currently claimed by: the United States
Climate: Humid continental climate
Area: 2.5km^2
Location: Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of Massachusetts, USA, 41Ā°15ā²18.00ā³N 70Ā°48ā²54.00ā³W
No Manās Land, pfft, this island was used as a practice bombing range for 50 odd years so there might be some unexploded ordnance, other than that it seems like a good candidate.
Acteon Group
Population: Uninhabited
Currently claimed by: France
Climate: Temperate
Area: ~4km^2 spread over 4 atolls
Location: 21Ā°22ā²59ā³S 136Ā°34ā²59ā³Wļ»æ
These atolls would be perfect for setting up a new country if they werenāt 230km away from the French nuclear testing site :(
Ducie Island
Population: Uninhabited
Currently claimed by: Pitcairn Islands, kind of part of the Commonwealth.
Climate: Not too yucky
Area: 2km^2
Location: Middle of the Pacific Ocean, 24Ā°41ā²S 124Ā°47ā²W
This island is my favourite for conquering, itās in the middle of nowhere and no one visits it. It has a lagoon to harbour ships and hopefully fresh water though a Ghyben-Herzberg Lens.
Although not an island Bir Tawil is also worth a mention.
Population: Uninhabited
Currently claimed by: Nobody
Climate: Desert with rocks
Area: 2,060 km^2
Location: Border between Egypt and Sudan, 21Ā°52ā²14ā³N 33Ā°44ā²14ā³E
Neither country wants this land because it means giving up some other land. For a decent explanation check out StrangeMaps.
There are many possibilities, Wikipedia has a page on uninhabited regions which makes creating your own countries easier then ever! My country will be based on information anarchism; individuals will transcended their physical bodies and live forever through their works, much as Leonardo da Vinci has lived on though Lisaās smile.
Some other interesting blogs which may be useful in creating a country
8 More Strange Places on Planet Earth
If you find any other useful links, please let me know
Have you ever wanted to play lazy arse security guard? The kind that doesnāt even leave his chair? By googling inurl:āviewerframe?mode=motionā you can! āviewerframe?mode=motionā is used in the urls of a massive amount of controllable webcams and the inurl: query searches for urls which contain it. Google, science bless it, has found a lot of them. Here are my favourites:
South Club Marina - You can watch the sunrise at a reasonable hour and zoom in on peoples boats.
Some Loch - Iām pretty sure this is some sort of loch, Iāve seen trams in the back ground too.
Pretty cityscape - Iām not sure where this is but itās kind of pretty at night, this camera has crazy zooming abilities.
If you find any other cool ones, drop me a line :)
# I can email blog!This is a test to see if I have setup the postie plugin correctly. If so I will be able to post via email. I wonāt let anyone know what the email address for automatic posting is because that could be dangerous :)
# Pocket Bike FunI made this video after Dylan, Paul, and myself played with fire and pocket bikes.
# How to get out of a pool head last
Step one: Position yourself with one hand on the rim of the pool, try to close your nostrils.
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Step 2: Push your legs back as far as possible, donāt breathe in yet.
Step 3: Straighten legs and clasp rim with other hand
Step 4: Swing your head out of the water trying to get the shampoo ad effect
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Step 5: Celebrate your awesome achievement!
This is my homage to Bunnyman 8, a flash movie by Elisse Hamu. You can find the original here. I made this a few years back when I only had one bunny suit and a crappy webcam. Now Iāve got 5 bunny suits and a couple of decent cameras, does anyone want to help me make Bunnyman 10?
# Yin YangI had a good and bad weekend. Mac Uni won Sydney Uniās Frisbee IV (we had a very big team :) ), Dee and I won best dressed at the costume party (Dee put my costume over the line with the help of her white body paint, toilet paper, and felt), and then the bad started. When I returned to my bike to leave I found a missing mirror and some other minor damage then on my ride back to Newcastle I reflected a police radar too fast. It was my first speeding ticket and itās good to try new things so I suppose itās not all bad (only one point and $84 for under 10 over).
Iām currently studying ethnicity and itās got me thinking about the silly norms of our society. For instance, we consume a poison to socialise and when our body uses pain to tell us there is something wrong we use pain killers. I havenāt taken pain killers for quite a few years because it doesnāt make sense to me but I am yet to conquer alcohol and caffeine. In an effort to wean myself off from the alcohol vice I was hoping to only drink on Friday night and stay dry on Saturday night. I succeeded in the first part of my plan but fate was against me in my Saturday night attempt. It started with Dee offering me a cider while we worked on our costumes and ended with winning a jug of beer thanks to those costumes :s
# Favourite female artistsHere are my favourite female artists Iāve found on YouTube.
The playlist:
These are not in order of preference, just an order that I think will make them most enjoyable. These song are not necessarily my favourite song by each artist, again the song was chosen to fit into a playlist. Also, Iāve kept a few artists out of this list such as MIA, Blondie, Shakira, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry because I didnāt want anyone knowing I was a fan :) If you know of any similar artists that I might like, please tell me in the comments.
Enjoy!
# Things I wish I knew when I was youngerLegal doesnāt mean moral
Illegal doesnāt mean immoral
You canāt experience non existence so donāt worry about death
Your purpose in life is to improve the universe
You are always completely free even if your choices are limited
The easiest way to improve the universe is to smile
Dancing is fun
School isnāt the best years of your life
Just because someone tells you something confidently, doesnāt make it true
If youāre telling a lie, say it confidently
Trying lots of different things shows more character then sticking to something you donāt enjoy
Donāt bother chasing girls, by the time your ready to settle down theyāll be chasing you
Learn to think rationally
The bible doesnāt make any sense
Be confident, whatās the worst that can happen
There is no shame seeking help
The majority arenāt always right
You donāt need a reason to laugh
If someone hurts you, tell them
A group of people are dumb
There are many norms in our culture which are really stupid
Donāt judge people but donāt let people push you around
Write your thoughts down
You donāt have to plan your life in your teens but a little direction is always good
Try to understand how others may perceive your actions
People only seem irrational because you have not had their life experiences
Your penis has very short term goals that probably arenāt conducive to achieving your long term goals
Connor begins by defining nationalism and patriotism. Nationalism is defined as loyalties to oneās ethnonation. An ethnonation being a group of people with a perceived unique common linage. Patriotism on the other hand is loyalties to oneās nation state. For instance, an ethically Chinese Australian may be loyal to the Australian Government. Connor argues that nationalism is stronger then patriotism citing examples such as the break up of the Soviet Union, which dissolved into states which were largely ethnonational. A Polish nation for the Polish, a Russian nation for the Russians etc. Connor suggests that the criteria used to determine whether a group constitutes a nation is not objective. He uses the example of ethnic Germans living in Poland. These Germans may have the same religion, live in the same regions, dress and look the same way, and speak the same language but they are considered Germans by themselves and by their fellow countrymen. Connor argues that states have the advantage of being able to politically socialise their citizens in order to create patriotism but citing the many ethnonation separatist groups, suggests patriotism is a weaker force then nationalism. Patriotism and nationalism need not be in conflict, but when a conflict exists that is irreconcilable, people are loyal to their ethnonation.
This article raises interesting points about oneās loyalties. An ethnonation is not necessarily capable of supplying services such as protection and education to those that identify with it. Whereas, most states are capable of supplying such services. From a Darwinian point of view I can understand why people would like to protect vessels containing their genes, such as their children, siblings, and other blood family. I think it is difficult to conclude that because members of this particular group of people act, dress, and talk a specific way that they necessarily share the same genes. I suppose observations are the most accurate way most people have of identifying those of similar genetic make up. Using Darwinian logic, I can understand that individuals who could seem to foster genetic material of others would receive more protection from peers and thus be more likely to survive and reproduce. This could explain the strong loyalties to the ethnonation. I suppose people see a state as being created by people whereas a nation is seen as having created people. I wonder if it is possible to transcend ethnonational ties and become ethno-agnostic?
Connor W. āBeyond Reason: The Nature of the Ethnonational Bondā in Connor (ed.) Ethnonationalism, Princeton University Press, 1994.
# Spending the day fixing up my websiteI think Iāve set up my blog to link to facebook. After I post this weāll see :)
# New SiteIāve being promising an update to this site for a few years now and Iāve got assignments and exams due next week so with all my extra free time I decided to get it done :) Content is a little light atm but the forum is up and running and I have uploaded my old blogs. Enjoy, there is more coming shortly.
Thanks Sadhana Ganapathiraju for the redesign :)
# Greg Verse Poseidon and AeolusIām back on dry land after 4 days battling Poseidon and Aeolus. My father and I had planned to sail to Lord Howe Island, spend a few days, and then return. The voyage began at noon on Tuesday after some boat maintenance. Before we had left sheltered Pittwater Aeolus was blowing 20 knot norāeasters. This was unfortunate because Lord Howe Island lay 412 nautical miles north east of our current position. Soon after rounding the heads Poseidon attacked. I had taken sea sickness tables and eaten ginger but these measures were no match for his wrath and I soon turned green. Once we left the heads we were forced to drop the main sail and continue on just the jib on account of the strong winds. This seriously reduced our steering capabilities and the boat swam perpendicular to our desired path. To help quell my tummy I spent most of the first day below deck lying on my bunk. Having my head horizontal kept in lunch. After 8 hours of 5 metre swells my fathers tummy gave in. He called me up and retired to his bunk for some rest and bucket time. The sun was gone and land was distant orange lights that disappeared behind waves. This made it impossible to keep my eyes on anything solid. Thankfully by this stage there was nothing left in my tummy to bring up but that didnāt make me feel any better, it just meant less cleaning up. The stormy night ocean was beautiful. Green sea stars appeared in our wake and the boat climbed up and tumbled down monster waves. A quick study of the GPS showed that we were not making any head way in the current conditions but we kept on waiting for a forecast change in wind direction, it never came. I spent most of the night below deck in my bunk, returning to deck (with harness) to check for other ships and see if we had made any progress on the GPS. Even with just one sail up the wind took us at 5 knots. It was ghostly seeing the steering wheel turning under the glow of the red compass as the ship cut through the waves. By 8 the next morning weād still not made any head way towards our intended target. Iād had very little sleep and weād being unable to consume any food or water for 18 hours. My father was out of the game so after remembering a promise to my mum I turned the boat around and continued my light watch duties. By this stage we were about 35 nautical miles off the coast and the liquid horizon was broken only by the Sydney cityscape. My father rose 5 nautical miles from the heads and discovered the engine wouldnāt start because of battery issues. He skilfully sailed the ship into the calm waters of Pittwater. We anchored, had our first meal in 30 hours, and slept really well. In the morning we were jump started by one of my fathers friend. We decided to make the most of our sailing trip and spend some time in Pittwater fishing and sailing. One night at the Basin was enough. The winds picked up to 30 + knots over night which caused some damage to the boat including the loss of our oars (we keep a spare pair :) ). The boat struggled through the strong winds but she finally got us to our mooring. We then got a phone call from a constable on Lord Howe informing us that the lagoon we were planning on mooring at was closed due to bad weather. A return trip to Lord Howe Island with no break would have been a real struggle. On returning to civilisation and looking at the current forecasts I am very glad we are not out there now, the winds are up to 60 knots :s and it feels more like movie weather then sailing weather right now.
# Back homeToday is the last day of my full time contract with the army. Tomorrow Iām back to being a jobless bum until June when I start studying again at which time I become a student bum.
The last day in country was an eye opener. On the way to the airport the soldiers were thankful to be leaving the Solomon Islands, one soldier sitting behind me, egged on by others was so thankful that he thought it necessary to flip up some of the locals. I couldnāt fathom their logic, they volunteered for this operation, they got to experience another culture and country. If they thought it was a shit hole why take it out on the locals that arenāt getting on a plane to leave? It wasnāt the only incident of cultural insensitivity I saw in country. It made me sick, why couldnāt these soldiers see the bigger picture. That one little incident could have undone all the work they did and complained about. I thought it was really gutless.
I spent a few days in Adelaide, getting medicals, pills (9 for breakfast on the first day :s ), and sitting through countless lectures. We said our goodbyes and I was on my way home to Sydney. I had told my mum I was getting home in late April or early May in an effort to surprise her. But thanks to good communications on my units part, she double bluffed me and was at the exit gates when I got off the plane. It was a nice surprise. It was weird not being with my Army mates that had surrounded me for 6 months so because it was a Tuesday night I went to based to feel the mateship of green.
After a couple of days rest I was keen to meet my new Z niece and see my Z nephew in Newcastle. I at least got to surprise Sam and Aaron. I had to wait a while to meet Zahli because she was sleeping but in the morning I was introduced to a very beautiful baby. Zander was on two legs and has become a very playful little boy who likes hiding things.
In mid April I had the two day selection centre for the Australian Antarctic Division. It was made up of an interesting technical interview, a mind numbing two hour psych questionnaire, and a 24 hour role playing part. I enjoyed the technical interview with Ian. I had done a lot of study and memorised a lot of figures so when he asked me what a geostationary satellite was I had an awesome answer. I am quite interested in the communications in polar regions anyway so I had lots of questions for him. There werenāt any other comm tech applicants on this selection centre so I tried to get some information on my competition from Ian but I only got a figure of 25 with 8 positions. Next was the psych questionnaire. Two hours of āyes maybe noā answers. My head hurt :s . The role playing was interesting. The scenarios they choose really separated the group on many levels. On the first night they put on an open bar, I think it was to test how people deal with alcohol. I was still on some liver ācleansingā drug to get rid of any malaria so I didnāt think drinking was a good idea but I did anyway. After the selection centre we were told that we would receive a letter if we failed or a phone call if we have progressed onto the next stage. I headed home feeling quite confident that I was in with a chance.
This ANZAC day was my first year wearing medals. My unit dawn serviced at a bowling club. I headed home for a sleep then back into town after sleeping through the march. By now I had finished with all my medication so I was keen for a big one. We headed to the sig hangout, the City Hotel. Stu and Janell joined me and it was the first time Stu had met any of my army mates. We played two up and even with the great odds I managed to lose $30 :) More beer then the pub closed and we crawled the city till we couldnāt get in anywhere on account of drunk Indian friends weād made.
The next day I carried a hang over to Melbourne to see my nephew in his natural habitat. I had seen him a week earlier in Newcastle when Ninny and Ollie visited but it was nice to have some one on one time with the little feller. I also caught up with Natalie. It was comfortable, I hadnāt seen her since we broke up by distance while I was away. I didnāt feel any anger or resentment between us and I hope it stays that way.
My birthday day poker and beer. I always get depressed on my birthday, like I havenāt done enough in the last year or something. I think Iām 26 and I should have done more :( so I enrolled in some open uni subjects to make me feel like Iām going in the right direction at least. I still hadnāt heard from the Australian Antarctic Division by this stage and I was wondering if my life was stalling.
The next day I got a phone call :) this was great news and I have my medical tomorrow. If I get this job Iāll feel like less of a bum, 12 months in Antarctica would look awesome on a resume :)
# last day in countryTomorrow morning we fly home. Iām nursing a hang over. Last night was our good bye harrar at Harryās Bar (the on base boozer). At 19:30L the bar opened and the tab lasted less then 15 minutes. I downed my first hoping to take advantage of the tab but I just wasnāt quick enough.
A local band entertained and after two rejections I drew Dani to the dance floor. I threw her around for half a song which ended with a round of applause. Jeremy, my over competitive friend, noticing the opportunity to show that he too has started taking lessons, stepped in during song intermission and stole my dance partner. It was a really rude move but I countered by grabbing Ellina, who has been teaching us Latin dance.
With liquid courage came confessions. I told the watchkeeper (heās like my immediate boss in the CP) a few of the pranks Iād been playing on him including putting a wireless mouse in the back of his laptop and clicking randomly. He would smack and shake the mouse while swearing under his breathe. After a few weeks he put in an emefix for a new mouse. That will teach him for letting down my chair.
at 2325L a watch appeared in my face as I danced with one of the PPF. Attached to the watch was a angry looking Warrant Officer. I bowed and moved on. There were some words between the grunts as we walked back to our lines but nothing came of it. Because of our good behavior we are allowed to drink tonight at the Latin dance night but the Sig Cell has organised a dinner out which will be good as well. Hopefully we get back in time so I can show up Jeremy :)
# Last shiftToday is my last shift and itās only a half shift at that. After 5 hours of showing the new guys the rope, Iāll get my medal, then hit the piss :) Buzz had already been here, a fact I advertised on the fridge by writing āBuzz waz ear 07 & 09 & 08ā³. The CSM didnāt think it was funny but he didnāt know it was me. Because Buzz have been here he doesnāt get a medal and itās a custom in the army to buy a round of drink when you get a medal. This means that because most of the contingent is getting medals today, Buzz should get a free night on the piss. Weāll see how that works out for him.
Yesterday was April Fools day and the only good prank I did was by mistake. The CO asked me to get the duty sig to give him a wake up call at 0430L. I miss heard and told the grave yard duty sig to wake him up at 0400L and the duty Sig, as is the custom in the army, rang 10 minutes early. So Yesterday, the CO came to me asking me if I was playing silly buggers getting the duty sig to wake him up at 0350L.
Iāve taken all my equipment to AQUIS, the quarantine people. They check if there are any seeds or insects in my equipment. It is very much a one way quarantine because any seeds they find in my equipment is most defiantly from Australia so when they tip my bag up side down and shake in out, theyāre not helping the local environment.
We had a good bye BBQ for the Tongans on Monday. I was quite sad to see them go, theyāre really open and genuine. Even though I never learned any of there names (they were never easy ones like John or Paul) I will miss them. Itās odd seeing there PNG replacements, they look very similar to the locals and itās odd seeing locals in uniform. The Tongans have a different reputation to the PNGs. The Tongans sleep a lot but work really hard where as the last PNG platoon really like the local tinted taxis (they contain prostitutes which is very convenient if you need to get somewhere and want to have sex). The Tongans presented the CO with a hand carved model hut. It made the plarkes the Australianās presented the Tongans look a little effortless.
# replacements have arrivedThis is a big day for me because it secures my return home :) It means that someone is here to do my job so there is no reason for me to be here. I havenāt met our replacements yet and Iām keen to get them trained up so I can hit the piss tomorrow night.
Mark and I moved into our new room. Itās pretty funny, they always keep us near to each other. We sit next to each other on planes and this is the 7th room Iāve shared with him. As shift working diggers we scored an air conditioned room as apposed to tent lines but we have to share with Sargents which means we need to behave. It sound like theyāre having a party down at the tent lines, but at least weāre acclimatising to the cold weather. In four days weāre going to be in Autumn :(
The outgoing rotation smell excited which contrasts the nervous odor of the newbies. They are very keen and itās interesting to see how the two groups interact. Two diggers just ran past me in their full army costume, they are very keen. Iām outside on a breeze way taking advantage of one of my last working lazy days. Afternoon shifts mean I donāt start until four.
My post deployment psych interview was on Monday. I passed. They gave us some pointers on fitting back into non military society. It will be hard, at the moment I find it so difficult not to punch the slow walking civilian staff in the back of the head when they are strolling down the paths to the mess or where every those snails go to eat. It is hard to imagine a whole street full of civilians. I didnāt mention this to the psych, but he did say he thought I was holding something back.
# TranscendTranscend your physical body through your works. Da Vinciās skills exists in the Mona Lisa, a part of him will exist while she does.
# The beginning of the endThe NZ replacements have arrived which signals the beginning of the end of our trip here. In a week our Australian replacements arrive and Saturday week Iāll be on a plane back to Australia, then after a few days in Adelaide Iāll be on my way home :) Iāve enjoyed my time here and the experience has pushed me to a more global leftist view of the world.
Last night was my final rostered graveyard shift. I quite enjoyed the graveyard shift, it gave me time to do little projects like programming one time pad encryption software and writing custom backup scripts, basically nerd stuff. The grave yard shift was from midnight to 8am and because of the tempo of operation here it meant watching movies, surfing the Internet and radio checks on the hour. Afternoon shifts start at 4pm till midnight and there is a little bit more work but by 7pm youāre watching a movie. The main difference between day shifts and afternoon and graveyard shifts is no movies and crappy internet (Defence internet instead of welfare internet, it means no Facebook :(). The forth and final shift on our roster is rest on call. Itās hardly ever a rest though but it sounds nice. I havenāt really been challenged here so Iām looking forward to returning to my studies, even if only for a couple of months before this Antarctica trip kicks off :)
Today the seas turned two tones, a dark blue out to the horizon and a light green with white caps close to shore. This signified an incoming storm. It was short and heavy. The wet season wasnāt as constant as it should have been and we had weeks of sunshine and weeks of floods. The toads that once patrolled the path ways have retired which is a signal that the wet season is winding down.
Nathalie and I have taken a break while Iāve been away. It was decided a couple of months ago and my plans to go to Antarctica have added a new dimension since the decision. I love her but I want adventure, Iām young and donāt want to regret not doing things, I want to have amazing stories and experiences to tell my children. I donāt think I can do that with Nathalie at the moment and canāt see a time in the near future when I will. It sucks.
# A day offToday was my first full day off in a couple of months (the first since Christmas I think). Our roster is over 16 days, 4 day shifts, 4 afternoon shifts, 4 graveyard shifts, and then 3 rest on call shifts (the extra day is eaten up by the rotating process). Rest on call days are normally shorter days unless they fall on a Sunday in which case we get the whole day off :) and because of the way the rosters work it can be a couple of months before that happens. We do get down time here and to be honest my job isnāt that challenging but it was nice to sleep in to noon and not have to don my uniform for a whole day.
After a light lunch of fruit, meat, and olives, and a coffee with Mark (Cattaneo, Sig, Nathalieās Brother) and Rod (Int) I hit the pool in my talk of the town red Milano swimmers. Timmy (CML Sig) made his usual comment and looked at them for too long to be comfortable. I was then invited to a police BBQ which ended up being rained out so we all headed back to the pool and played relays at the demands of Aleena (the latin dance teacher). After the pool came Latin dancing. My legs were sore so I didnāt put in but I learned the foot work for Salsa which looks really fun. I threw in some Ceroc moves while dancing Goomba with Megan (PPF), she told Jeramey (Tech Sig) that I had put him to shame. That was a bad idea, Jeramey is very competitive and he has become quite cold towards me since I joined the dance classes.
Last night the Sigs had dinner at the Honiara Hotel. It was the last such occasion as the New Zealanders were heading home next week. I sat next to Robyn, the NZ sig, which made the night very frustrating. Robyn turned everything into a dirty pun to bring the conversation to a level she was comfortable with. I really canāt stand her, she just doesnāt have the skills necessary to act in a non repulsive way out at dinner or in a professional way at work. She has a chip on her shoulder about something and defiantly didnāt get my sense of humour which didnāt help our relationship. But enough about Robyn. After dinner we followed the NZ Sgts lead and swam in the pool. I, not thinking we were going to go for a swim, wore my bonds camouflaged under wear which brought me lots of ridicule.
Iāve had some great coffee of late thanks to my mum, sheās sent me everything I need and prior to night shifts I take full advantage of my new milk frother to make a brilliant brew. I looking forward to getting home and making a
# ZahliIāve got a niece and I canāt wait to meet her. She was born this morning at about 1am. I had given out the duty sig phone number so I could get informed as soon as the little one came. Iām looking forward to my new toy and itās made me realise how much I miss Panda and Ollie. I heard Ollie is quite independent and Zander is getting around. Itās sad missing out on this part of their life but itāll be nice having adventurous bed time stories to tell them.
# Controlling the collectiveA study found that one person repeating the same opinion three times has 90% of the effect of three different people in the group expressing the same opinion. This coupled with sheep theory can be used to influence the opinion of a small group and then spreading it using sheep theory.
# believersIt is logical to kill all the believe in heaven and an after life. If they are right they will be in heaven, if they are wrong they will no longer exist.
# The end is nearIāve had a good couple of weeks here, weāre on the home straight and the atmosphere smells of excitement. Tonight we went out for dinner at a fancy French restaurant. It was a large group of ORs and Robyn the NZ sig covered my shift. It was a large group of about 20 so I ordered my steak rare, this meant it came out first :) A little trick Iāve picked up. The whole meal with starters and non alcoholic drinks came to about $SOL300 which is about $AU60 so the prices are on par with Australia which was a little odd although all the food must have been imported (I had some of Rodās snails), so I guess that makes sense.
On the way home the topic of our presence in the country came up and the argument was made that we should just leave these people alone because they donāt want to help them selves. I went on the defensive and pointed out that we are very similar, the main difference being our loyalties lie with our nation and theirs lie with their wontok. Timmy made the argument that they should get a job and move to another country, I was just shocked, his belly was full with a weeks wages in local currency. He must know that the people that work at GBR are getting paid less in a week then he is in a day. I heard figures like $SOL200 per week, thatās $AU40 a week and they work long hours with little thanks. Timmy and I earn about $AU1300 tax free a week with the knowledge that we are leaving this place in less then 4 months. I also made the humanity argument but it was a tough crowd.
Speaking of doing it hard here in the Solomon Islands, the rest of my week was fairly easy. Tuesday was a low tempo day for the Sig Cell, we went to the pool at one of the fancy hotels, then for dinner we ordered Chinese take out. Then Wednesday night I organised a BBQ (Iām the resident BBQer because and I get good reviews :) ). Iām a little disappointed about the comments on the way home, weāve made it possible for children to go to school and not fear being killed because of their ethnicity, a fact that seems to be lost on the majority of the people sent here to help them. I hope wontokism and nationalism are replaced by humanism by the time these twins explore the world.
# TroubleI was playing radio and I introduced some ratel (radio telephone procedure) I picked up from Generation Kill, an american TV series about troops invading Iraq. The watch keeper wasnāt impressed but I was speaking to Buzz on the other end and I know he loves that show so he got what I was putting down.
# Reason for my actionsMy actions should first improve the universe,
Secondly living creatures,
Thirdly the human race,
And last myself.
Rationality is in the eye of the beholder.
Observing unrational behaviour is a failure of the observer.
Every action is rational, one just needs to deduce the particular rational thought process that brought about the observed action.
# JusticeJustice only needs to be perceived to prevent crime.
# Gullible IdiotThe collective is a gullible idiot, I can use that.
# Eternal LifeI class myself as my thoughts, if my thoughts pass from this body to the next I have survived death. So I should write a book.
# PeopleDemocracy, because none of us are as stupid as all of us.
From Buzz
Flowers are worth 10 times more when delivered to her work.
# Greg's famousThis week I appeared in the Army Newspaper in the Our People section. So Iām pretty much famous now. I signed all the papers I could find with phrases like āreach of the starsā. Being in the paper means I owe beers and everyone is trying to call me up on it.
My mum sent me more presents today :) My family have been really good to me, so supportive, theyāve sent me a couple dozen packages. It is a real morale boost. Sam and Aaron sent me a Christmas Tree and a framed picture of Zander which is in my room, Ninny and Gerard sent me some funky clothes, Stu and Janell sent me a book on trading on the stock market, and my mum has sent me heaps and heaps of stuff. An old school coffee grinder, a milk frother, heaps and heaps of food (I think sheās worried that theyāre not feeding me here). Nathalie sent me a wine set and some art supplies, and a girl from my unit sent some home made cookies. I think Iāve received the most packages :)
Sam is due shortly and Ninny is due later this year. Iām very excited about my new nephews or nieces. Zander is trying to walk and Oliver is up and about. Iām sad that Iām missing all that :( and I just found out that today that my application to the Australian Antarctic program has progressed to the next selection stage which may mean another 12 months away. Iām very lucky to have such a supportive family.
Trivia was great. The team name I suggested was altered from āClarkey and Friendsā to āClarkey has no friendsā by a democratic decision :( but I received a $50 pity drink voucher from the MC. We came third last but at least there are people dumber than us and Iām a lesser man so that means a lot to me. Last night we had a group of performers from Australia come and entertain us. The line up was singer/song writer Mark Wilkinson, the band Asleep in the Park, Comedian Dave Jory, and MCing the night was television presenter Renee Brack (she was the lady who interview Chopper Reid). We were allowed to drink so we all knocked back and few and had a really good night. The MC said a quote that really moved me. āReal compassion is caring from someone you donāt knowā she was making a reference to our efforts here in the Solomon Islands. After the last set was played I showed off some moves with some of the people Iād been learning latin dance with. We partied until midnight then weāre sent to bed but we got up to more shenagians in the lines.
Danni got āfood poisingā last night and is in the medical centre so Iām covering her shift. Itās not too bad because I hadnāt successfully gotten out of the graveyard sleep pattern yet :) But I really havenāt had much sleep lately. I found out that I was working tonight this morning and I had to go on a helicopter flight so I only got my head down for a couple of hours. I was feeling really seedy in the chopper :( I tried to sleep but the window next to me said āemergency exit, pushā so I didnāt want to put my head against it.
I think Iāve done pretty well blogging at this wee hour.
# From Renee Bracks friendāCompassion is caring for someone you donāt knowā - Renee Bracks friend (I forget who exactly, I was a little drunk when I heard it :))
Itās easy to care for people you love but the ability to care for people you donāt know is something special.
# Wedding speech for Stu and JanellI was lucky enough to be born in the same family as my best friend and heās taught me a lot in 25 years. He taught me that Thomas the tank engine lives in the closet, heās taught me that a one dollar coin is worth more than a two dollar coin because itās bigger, he taught me how to drive, but most importantly he taught me how to be a man, and on quite a few occasions how to be a woman. Now I look forward to him teaching me how to be a husband.
Iāve had the honour of living with this beautiful couple for 6 months, and this has made me privy to some special times. Iāve seen Janell worry that Iām going to break Stuās legs taking him sky diving and Iāve seen Stu sand for hours to give Janell something she really wanted. The love they have for each other radiates, and it makes their house warm.
Thank you all for come to celebrating this wonderful day, and especially those who came from as far as Newtown, Nathan, thatās a top effort, also those who came from the other side of the world and those who came from the other side of the country, and thank you Stu for finding me two more wonderful sisters. So I ask you to tip your glasses to my new extended family and their fold out sofas.
To add if occasion calls
The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps theyāre too old to do it. (Ann Bancroft)
A wet knot is hard to untie and weāre surrounded by water.
# Trivia night and BFATonight weāre playing trivia so we might get to drink tonight. For a dry deployment there has been a lot of drinking :) Iāve filled my boots on three occasions, the last time being last trivia night where I decided to be classy and get smashed on red wine. I paid for it the next day spending a good portion of it nursing a toilet bowl. That day I had to cover lunch which I spent lying in the watch keepers stretcher. I explained to him that I must have caught gastro from the red wine, he seemed satisfied with this explanation. Iām excited about tonight, last trivia night I was helping out because I didnāt get on a team in time. I sold raffle tickets. To boost sales with the officers I put fake answers on the back.
This morning we had a basic fitness test. It came in the immediate wake of 4 grave yard shifts. Iād been up for 18 hours and was high on coffee. All things considered I did pretty well, a PB on the push ups (64 in 2 minutes, pass is 40), a full set of sit ups (100, pass is 70), and the run in 10:47 (2.4km, pass is 11:18). I was a little disappointed in the run, I want to get sub 10 but I think I need to start running for that to happen :( and running bores me. I fought sleep until 10 and pillowed for 3 hours so as to get out of the graveyard rhythm.
# The Big Crunch1988*
My father, stuart, floppy (our dog), and i would go for bush walks up red hill starting at the end of our road. After passing flying floppy rock (the name given to the path that required my dad to throw floppy to get her pass, although given time she did find her own way) and gregās bridge (a short pass around a puddle in the path that my brother didnāt take after advice from myself resulting in him slipping and getting wet) we would find somewhere to rest and talk. One day my father explained the then current model of the big bang/big crunch. He told us that the universe is expanding which i was happy with but then he explained the concept of the big crunch illustrated with a big clap. This shocked me and my expression must have shown because he attempted to reassure me by letting me know i wonāt be around for it. this quelled my worries for a few minutes but on the walk home i contemplated ānot been aroundā which forced me to face my mortality (probably the beginning of my interest in philosophy), a much scarier concept then been squished, even if my dads hands made an almighty clap. I didnāt sleep well for a while and have only in the past few months become close to feeling comfortable with my mortality.
# red eyesIām still on night shift, itās 4 am and I have a fitness test in 2 hours. I havenāt done much cardio since I arrived so Iām a little worried about the run. Iām watching Bond and I just finished uploading my blog from my trip to Europe in 2007, Iāve been really slack. My brain isnāt really working so Iāll sign off here and try again later.
# Random thoughts from PDALive before you die.
The finish line is death so donāt hurry.
God, Protect me from your followers.
Evolution is anti-religious because religion is anti-evolutionary.
You can not experience non existence.
A wet knot is hard to untie.
Donāt listen to anybody who says āyou canātā¦ā because itās likely that they are just too scared. Sam 07
It better to regret something youāve done than something you havenāt done. Sam 07
Just because itās legal doesnāt mean itās right. Stu 00
Jihad on god!
A single cell can manipulate the collective consciousness of a whole.
A collective consciousness has no head, that is the nature of consciousness, the collective is the head.
A society must evolve to new levels, you wouldnāt give a chimp a gun. We are after all evolved chimps and we do not force our moral code on the animal kingdom, to do so would be hypocritical.
When a man and a women are intimate the result is a pregnant woman who risks her life to give birth and a man who has passed on her genes with no cost to his survival. Thus evolutionary is inclined to encourage men to be promiscuous and discourage women from the same act. Our society has evolved, so should our ideas.
Hydroponic herbs, increase pressure and co2 levels.
Human nature is the cause of human suffering is the cause of human nature.
Racism is a generalisation but race by nature is a generalisation.
A noun is a generalisation.
The children blame the parents, the parents blame the grandparents, the grandparents blame the children.
American football against riot police.
Paint a TV screen
Print $0 notes and give them out
French flag as a jig saw puzzle
Weāre all clinging to a few bits of green on a blue bubble floating around in space.
It is impossible to see someone not do something but it is possible to not see someone do something.
It is illogical to use what you donāt know as a reason for what you believe to be correct.
Iād rather sit high on a solid fence then low in a field I canāt know exists.
My mum caught me looking at porn, she said the Jesus doesnāt want me to be looking at porn and that every time i feel the urge to masturbate, Jesus wants me to turn to the bible. Now Iām in to all kinds of sick things.
Only a weak man is always right.
A man should make the world a better place.
Men think with their heads, boys think with their other head.
Germans need not apply.
Respect your enemies and understand their motives.
If you canāt find weakness in your enemies, find weakness in their motives.
Find weaknesses in your self before your enemies do.
Itās not important to find the holy grail, but it is important to search.
Free soap, PLEASE take one.
Justice is subjective.
Motorized unicycle, 1 dead.
We accept that we donāt exist in other space but doubt that we donāt exist in other time.
Religion was created by the scared to control the stupid.
The things weāre scared of show what weāre made of.
Atheists rock.
Internalise global issues. How to i help to make this problem.
Balcombe confessions, gas, tooth brush, cpl, silvea, water beer, picture, calls, fence climb alarm etc
My model of wingeing pomies. The english are subservent to athority, king and queen, removing responsibility and allowing them to externalise problems onto their government.
The key to control is manipulating insecurities about reproduction.
Boy want to have sex with lots of young girls, girls want to be with a rich old boy, men and women on the other hand seek a partner who forfill them.
If we are just put on this earth to procreate then the joke is on us and the punch line is āheat death of the universeā
In war, scared boys do horrible things while brave men do great, while women suffer.
Iād rather a pretty pansy then end up in this shit hole.
Art work; french flag, lots of blue with only a little red, or same proportions but blue/white/purple
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. Voltaire
Many people would sooner die then think, in fact they do. Bertrand russell
My name is my only label
Ignorance is warm.
One doesnāt morn the fact that a path has an end, instead, one is grateful for itās existence.
If the point of life is merely copulation, what a cruel joke the expansion of the sun is.
The state of the world is my fault.
I think therefore i am
I exist in my reality, therefore my reality exists
We are, therefore i am not.
Forgivegermany.com
Hithero.org
Stophitler.org
When wronged, cancel the act with charity.
Freedom of religion gives you the opportunity to choose your oppresser.
Control science and you will control the truth.
The difference between hitler and roseavelt is hilter lost.
If your god is so powerful, why does he need soliders?
Civilization rises like the sun, from east to west, babylon, egypt, greece, rome, britan, usaā¦ China then the EU?
Empires lifespans are shorting while religions lifespans are increasing, the key to a long empire is making it a religion.
Understand your own reasons to better achieve your goal.
Soviet Russia was free but whatās the point of freedom when there is no food.
Level bullet
Fake corrupt cop
From Granny 2007
Edward thompson (drumgivery farmer) - marry porter
Married in Parrish church, templemachury, county furmanny, clerk union, enniskillen, county fermanagh
Children
William (canada, 2 factories), john(belfast), george(irvinastown), henery(edernay)
Sarah (england dr), sydney(us), kathleen(irvinastown), mary(irvinā¦), jane(us?).
And edward thompson who married norah mulchany in New york, flushing, st michael church, long island. 1910-12
Moved back to ireland from america.
Edward recieved 2 black boardered envelopes from newry, county down.
Norah mulchay had 2 bros, 1 sis Michel and joe, bridget (died at 15?) . They were from county limerick.
Michel and joe, bridget, norah mulchay from limerick. Catholic.
Edward thompson (drumgivery farmer), sister that was doctor, northern ireland (Fernen, Larne). Prodistent. Mothers name is mary porter.
Ed thomp, married marry porter, Parrish church, templemachury, county furmanny, clerk union, enniskillen, county fermanagh
William (canada, 2 factories), john(belfast), george(irvinastown), henery(edernay)
Sarah (england dr), sydney(us), kathleen(irvinastown), mary(irvinā¦), jane(us?).
2 newry, county down.
Meet in america.
Edwards mother dishonned him for marrying a prosident so they returned to ireland and settled in trim, county meath. When black boarded letters arrived signaling the deaths arrived for edward he would burn them commenting that itās too late for all that. Edward was the only person in the village who could drive so when the hotel heard they sent for him and offered him a job.
Edward and norah were married in New york, flushing, st michael church, long island. 1910-12
Questions.
Year of marrage?
What is the birth date of edward and norah?
What was edwards sisters name?
Did edward have anyother brothers or sisters?
What was norahs parents names?
Conways
James conway
Sisters
Mordy and lilly, and one that died young
Owen, jim, ramond, berny vivien
Uncle capt andy conway used to give jim Ā£20
Uncle Berney conway
lives are not as important to governments as money (as seen in Iraq) so forced policy change would be more successful targeting the finical sector of a government.
I class myself as my thoughts, if my thoughts pass from this body to the next I have survived death.
every idea is rational, irrational thoughts are just thoughts where the rationale is not known. āan apple is an orangeā is rational, I am saying it to prove a point.
who cares what crazy global ideas we adopt, after a while they will become the norm and the masses will be content.
Justice only needs to be perceived to prevent crime.
Irrationality is a failure of the beholder. Every person is rational, you just need to figure them out.
Democratic corporation
life first, human second.
If Al aha so powerful why does he need an army?
If God controls all whatās up with the tsunami?
1990
In my second attempt at year one i did my first really couniosly naughty act. Work men were doing some repairs at school during lunch, they were cutting up some wood leaving some off cuts. Robert beared was the only one brave enough to approach them and ask for some of this scrap wood. The worker obliged and gave him a piece which he rushed to his bag. The bell rang to return us to class and the jealousy grew. I wanted that wood. We all returned to class but the jealousy grew stronger. āwhy did he get a piece of wood while i went without?ā i justified, the world wasnāt fair so i decided to fix it. I raised my hand and asked the teacher if i could goto the bag room to retrieve a pencil. She allowed me to go and i returned moments later empty handed but with a smile. the deed was done, my bag was heavy with the stolen wood and the world was fair. I returned to my seat chuffed but this feeling didnāt last. As i sat in my chair i suddenly realised how big the off cut was, you could clearly see the shape of the wood in my thin fabric bag. When the final bell rang for home time i rushed to the bag room, collected my bag and disappeared home. Then came the feeling of regret when i realised that i hadnāt made the universe fair, iād wronged Robert. This feeling got worse once i realised that i had no need for a block of wood. It ended up under a chair in our front room before been thrown out. I never got caught but it taught me a valuable lesson about weighing up material reward verse agonising regret.
# First memoryFirst memory
Early 1986
My first memory is of my dog tinker been told off by my father. I am on the floor in the front room of our house, tinker is a brown mass lying on the sofa. The room is shades of red and cream. My dad appears in the door way, looks at tinker then points and yells something i canāt understand. Tinker quickly slides of the sofa and with her head low passes by me to her bed of blankets on the floor. I was two years old and it was shortly before we immigrate to australia and shortly before tinker disappeared from my life. My concept of our family was that tinker was my sister and when i learned more about anatomy i simply included tinker into the equation, assuming that my mother had given birth to her. It wasnāt until we bought our next dog, floppy, at five years old that i figured out dogs were another species. Tinker was my first loss and i donāt think a two year old greg understood so i held onto her memory and until i wrote this down i never realised how much i miss her, even if she only exists in a single fuzzy memory.
# Favorite paintingsPierre-narcisse guerin
Francesco di cristofano bigi, franciabigio
Jacques gamelin, escarmouche de cavalerie
Salvator rosa, bataille heroique
Salvator rosa, lāombre de samuel apparaissant a saul chez la pythonisse dāendor
Joseph vernet, la nuit; un port de mer au clair de lune
Pavel brazda, podobizna otce aka fatherās portrait, 1967
Richard gerstl, Selbstbildnis als halbakt aka semi-nude self portrait, 1904/05 & bildnis des vaters emil gerstl aka portrait of the father emil gerstl 1907
Simone pignoni 1611-1698, allegory of music, georgios averoff bequest inv. No. 1181
Georgios vroutos (1843-1909), leda and the swan, marble, inv. No. 5274
Nikolaos gysis (1842-1901), wishbone, 1878, inv, no. 119
Georgios vroutos (1843-1909), cupid breaking his bow, marble, in 5276
Leonidas drosis (1834-1882), penelope, 1873, marble, donation of the palace, in 508
Konstantinos parthenis (1878-1967), christ, c. 1900, donation of national bank of greece, in 522
Itās ridiculous oāclock and Iām manning the radios. The graveyard shift is from midnight to 8am for 4 nights. It gives me a chance to catch up on movies and net research so I donāt mind. I went out on a patrol with a Tongan section on Friday. After the recent flooding a lot of the bridges had been washed away, so our job was to drive as far east and west as we could gathering information. I was attached for my HF skills (although I failed to get any HF comms). We headed west for an hour in the back of a IIMV (an Infantry vehicle with seats facing outwards). The world passed from right to left and dirty Honiara streets became paradise with palm trees and inviting beaches. The road stopped to let a river by so we turned around and headed back to Honiara. We broke down halfway home so I spent 3 hours trying to sleep using my camelpack as a head hammock. Because we didnāt have a serviceable vehicle the trip east was canceled :( But I did get to see a good chunk of the island west.
Yesterday night the Sig Cell and Evo (heās not a Sig but he doesnāt get out much) went out for dinner at a local Chinese joint. I splurged on the chili crayfish. It is quite a mix in the Sig Cell and it makes for interestingly awkward moments. Some of the comments are better suited to the field then a dinner table at a restaurant (for example references to fellatio with the waitresses). I find other comments to be really culturally insensitive, granted these people are poor but you donāt have to remind them of that fact when they are in ear shot. I hope this doesnāt make me sound ultra superior, itās just that I enjoy the whole experience of going out for dinner, a change in conversation and behavior not just cuisine. There are some really interesting people here that I really enjoy talking to but I suppose in such a large group it is only natural to talk on a level that is accessible to all. For this reason I tend to stay quite on our large outings.
# Latin danceSome new PPF players arrived the other day and one has really gotten the boys attention. She is very well endowed. Sheās a blue shirt which is a sworn police woman meaning that she walks around base with a loaded gun and handcuffs on a heavy black belt exaggerates her hip swing. I love walking behind her watching her hips swing and knowing that she has the ability hurt me so much. If that wasnāt great enough I found out that sheās running dance classes. Iāve become known as a bit of a dance floor diva in these parts due to a few cracks at Christmas and NYE. Tonight fashioning a week long moe that really isnāt worth writing about I turned up for a lesson. Playing it cool I turned up 15 minutes early. She ran us through some basic Latin dance steps, her bare feet massaged the ground and I was envious. Her hips flowed. So sexy, I tried very hard mixing in some Ceroc moves to show off a little, not too much. But after dancing with me she suggested I dance with some of the less experienced people, I was torn. After an hour of bare foot dancing we finished and she showed off some samba moves. A blur of feet glided her body across the floor, I was even more amazed and determined to learn Latin dance. Iāll practice my foot work on shift :)
Today also brought good news about my Australian Antarctic Division application. Iām applying for the position of communications tech and supervisor communications tech. There are 4 stations and each has 2 positions so I think my chances are pretty good. Ads the Geek applied for the position as well. He doesnāt have much experience in radio communications so Iām not sure how heāll go. As luck would have it Adcock comes before Clarke in the alphabet so he received a call before me regarding his application. I grilled him about the pseudo interview and I collected valuable information that gave me time to prepare. By the time the call came I had a word document with bases, scientific research, etc ready to go. One of the simple questions was what station do you want to go to. I chose Dawson and gave him two reasons for wanting it, it has a laser that shoots into space (worded better) and itās the furtherest south. That gave me some real brownie points as it showed how much I knew about the stations. A question about the receiver strength of a VHF radio lost me but that was the only answer I wasnāt confident about. I shot back as many questions as they shot at me trying to allude to my great communications skills. I think it worked and I hung up feeling really confident about success.
Weāre shooting flat people tomorrow so Iād better shower after my gym session, Iāve been good today, dance and gym and I even had my protein shake with water not soy milk (but it doesnāt mix well so never again). Good night.
# Back in GBRIām back in GBR missing the freedoms and sweet potatoes of the jungle. I just came home from a BBQ with Stevens, the Belgium hiker we rescued from the jungle (I didnāt really do much but Iām telling the story here). Only 5 of us went, I think a platoon of Tongans might have been a bit much for his civilised church function. I got shafted with a middle seat on the way there which was alright because it meant I didnāt have to wave to all the locals. It was held at a church / school for the deaf (at least that what I think it was, there were a lot of deaf people there and I tired to practice my sign language which I learned on a train in Europe from another backpacker). I told stories of my heroism getting sunburnt and not requesting a casvac. It was really nice to see a pleasant ending to the story. I could see by the way his girlfriend stared at him that she really loved him and it would have been cruel for fate to take him away from her. The food was great and the wine was so close :( but alas none for us. I spoke to some really interesting people and I think people like that are drawn to this kind of place.
The army newspaper reported āone big happy unitā in big letters and had a cheesy picture of our boss. Australia Day was canceled because it was overcast in the morning, itās the wet season and by 10am the sun was out. One of the grunts was banned from Christmas Day celebrations because he put a $500 bounty on pushing the boss in the pool. 3 of the men escaped and partied until 5am, they were caught on re entry. Another propaganda story claimed we had a great Australia Day with sports against the police and boot throwing. Needless to say moral is not great. Iām having a good time but I always have a good time and with a quick smile I get away with anything. Buzz commented that the OC was one big happy unit.
I just had the Tongan special (hair cut by a Tongan) after two comments from the OC regarding my hair. After the first comment I tried to give myself a hair cut, it didnāt work very well so I was glad to see one of them attacking Youngies head. Itās late and we have battle PT in the morning so Iām going to hit the sack. I should complain about battle PT, I havenāt done much exercise for a while, I have only been to the gym once since returning from the J. Iāll never look like Arney at this rate.
# They found himThey found him which means we might be out of here today. Good news for him, bad news for us. On the first day the Tongan LT was talking to locals, on his return he said āgood news, theyāve found a pale body.ā This news is even better than that.
# Radio checks and sleepingThere coming to pick us up tomorrow. I was hoping weād leave today because I really needed to go to the toilet and didnāt like the idea of squatting over a soggy hole in tall grass but I wasnāt so lucky and had an awful experience. On the up side another night here probably means more pipping hot sweat potatoes from the locals and another visit to the river for a swim. But now that live gotten use to the insects, heat and mud Iām actually enjoying myself. Iāve slowed to the pace of the locals. I just lie on my reed bed studying the insects and the occasional radio check. The locals come and join us, they just sit next to us for half the day. Iām not sure how the economy works in these parts but it makes the locals very time rich. I guess the jungle must provide. Everyone else is asleep, a pig is investigating us and the local children from the school are watching. I think Iāll have another sleep then a swim in the river.
# Resupply dayItās raining and in the distance I can hear the jungle eating machines. When thereās no more jungle to eat the machines will leave and with no flora to absorb the monsoons the rivers will flood and the villages that rely on rivers will was away. There is a lot of corruption here especially with the logging industry. The people getting rich from Solomon Islands natural resources isnāt the Solomon Islanders. Here there exists a wontok system, where each few villages has a chief who is a pseudo head of state. The notion of a Solomon Islands nation has been thrust upon them and the SI governments influence in there parts is minimal and its sovereignty questionable. The wontok system has lead to community cooperation but these communities lack any higher entity to facilitate inter wontok cooperation and the eruption of this problem has lead me here. The government fails because the wontok system that has served these people well for hundreds of years is stronger than their nationalism. Politicians will favour their wontok system leading to unfair distribution os resources. Without a functioning collective organisation to control resource exports the villages are all loosing revenue, environment, and possibly their homes. It shows how important international cooperation is.
It rains at 3 and my raised stretcher has water on all sides. No swim in the river today :( but rats and sweat potato.
Mossies are probing my position. Mossie net is holding. Iām lying on a bed made of jungle by one of my Tongan friends, and weāve just had a heavy down pour. Weāre involved in a search and rescue. A Belgium tourist tried to cross the island during wed season flooding and hasnāt been seen for ten days. Our party is made up of 4 Tongans, an Aussie grunt, and myself. Our job is to wait at the end of the trail for the Belgium or out other search party to come out. Weve been in this location for 2 days after a chopper flight, a dodge boat ride, and a half day 7km hike. The hike was a killer, I drank 6L of water but my pee still remained a dark yellow. The Tongans motivated me by telling me we were half way there, it stopped working on the forth āhalf wayā. A bastard mossie has broken through the lines but she wonāt leave with her life, this mossie net works well as a mossie trap. We took breaks every few hundred meters for my benefit. A mixed Tongan Australian party is only as fast as the Australians. On arrival we met with the village chief and set up camp in a field. I started playing with radios and the Tongans prepared our bed spaces. HF wasnāt playing and alternate communications had been pucked (I entered the wrong pin 3 times on our Iridium) so HQ hadnāt heard from us all day. HF came through the next morning so my sole purpose as a sig on this trip was not wasted.
Days are spent trying to avoid the heat while been stared at by the locals. Mol and I are the only white people in the area and it amuses the locals. We give away our rations and they supply is with coconuts. Todayās efforts to avoid the heat lead us to a waterfall with the help of a local.
Iāve arrived in the Solomon Islands today and swam to the the air conditioned coach. After an annoyling long tour of GBR we setup camp in an air conditioned room.
# I've got more sistersJanell became one of us yesterday and I gained two more sisters. The service was held on Clark Island in Sydney harbour. It was a lot of effort but it really paid off and it was a great day. Stu and Janell showed off a ceroc routine for their first dance which went down really well. Then I got to dance with the beautiful bride. My brother has done well and I can see by the way they look at each other that they adore each other. After a few beers I was reminded of my best man speech duties. I think pulled it off.
Iāve returned to Sydney for a week getting back on the morning of Stuartās Bucks night. We headed up to Newcastle where Aaron and Sam had organised pub golf at the races (you drink lots of beer and wear pub clothes with some really loose pub style rules :)). We arrived late and rushed off to the races for the first race but were turned away because of a no buck parties rule. It was a blessing in disguise, we altered our plans and played regular pub golf crawling through Newcastle spending 30 minutes at each hole. Aaron and Sam really went all out getting us laminated playing cards, they really made the day. By the 8th hole the sun was down and we headed into town. Not many places wanted us and in the confusion we became separated. Aaron, Tim, and I headed home and Stuart and the others came back later with great stories :(
On Wednesday Mum, Sam and I kidnapped Stu and Stu and I went sky diving. He figured it out pretty quickly but he still played the game. It was awesome and after a stern warning from Janell I was glad his legs werenāt broken from the landing.
My last night in Sydney was spent with Nathalie in a fancy hotel in the city. We were going to order room service but I was too tired after the big day and fell asleep. In the morning we brokefast at the hotel. There was a large variety of nice food so it was the first time Nathalie and I had been able to eat out somewhere nice. After breakfast we coffeed with Ninny and Oliver and Nathalie and I headed to the airport to say our goodbyes for 4 months :ā(
# BFA and power pointMark and the others went to the pub. After the BCCC Iām keen to have some quite nights. I passed my fitness test today so didnāt feel guilty about eating desert at lunch today :) The test was at some ridiculous hour and because I was the only one getting up for it, I was scared I would sleep in so I spent half the night checking the time on my phone. I was the only one doing the BFA (basic fitness test) so it was nice of the CSM to come in and run the show. It was very lonely running alone so I might do the run again tomorrow with one of the other guys who has failed.
Weāve been issued some pretty cool kit, chest webbing, armour, helmets, camel back, and even sandals. I donāt think Iām going to get much use out of a lot of it but it makes me look wary. The mess food has been getting better as I get to know the mess staff. They started getting in tofu :) and Iāve had some really nice meals of late. Weāve done a little be of actually radio work but we havenāt been very successful yet :( One of the guys called Mark āNo comms Cattā. He reused the joke on me because the alliteration works for both of us :( It was a 75km HF shot which should be easy for us but no joy today. In between not getting comms and getting cool kit weāve been bored to death by power point presentations and been jabbed in the arm with inoculations (15 down, 1 or so to go :) ). Iād better get some sleep, Iāve got a day and a half of power point presentations ahead of me and I donāt want to be the first to fall asleep :)
Good night.
# BCCCToday I started continuous full time service for the Australia Army, one day down 202 to go. We had a fitness test (I failed the run :S), filled out some paper work, got some patches denoting our operation, and listened to brass talk about what colour shorts to wear. Then Mark and I played botchie with some grunts. Iām playing with the HQ coy which is a pleasant change from the basic combat communications course I completed a week ago with the grunts. That was two weeks of been treated like a grunt, it wasnāt great but it was a good chance to get to know the people weāll be talking to. Weāre going over to the Solomon Islands on OP Anode. My Job is to talk on the radio. Iāll be positioned at HQ which is a paid resort. Weāve got wireless internet, door service washing, a pool, air conditioning, a gym, foxtel and a decent mess. The grunts get tents if theyāre lucky. Iāve been rubbing this fact in where ever possible. I donāt know how these grunts do it, they just get stuffed around. We were issued with some chest webbing and body armour. The grunts struggled off with their bags full of equipment and we put it in a trailer and marched back to our separate cosy lines. Itās the little things.
Iām sharing a room with Mark. He will be on this deployment with me which is nice as this Christmas is an away Christmas thus I should be spending it with Nathalieās family. Itās just too bad that Nathalie wonāt be there as well. Iāll miss Nathalie but itās good being a sig, I get access to satellite phones and the internet so weāll be able to stay in contact.
A lot has happened this year. I started studying a BA in terrorism, counter terrorism, and security through Open Universities. Itās good being able to travel around and Iāve been taking full advantage of this. Iāve been on over a dozen flights this year. I spent 2 months in Perth early on this year (I played army with Markās unit), some time in Melbourne, and another month back in Perth. The first two months in Perth were at Nathalieās fathers apartment. It was right in the city on the main strip of North Bridge. A couple had moved in the second time I went to Perth so I was playing house husband in the suburbs.
Iāve been living with Stuart and Janell in Lane Cove North. Itās been great spending time with them. They wedding is during our stand down period in November. There is a chance I will miss the bucks night which is poor form for the best man and I hope Stuart understands. Iāve booked us both in for sky diving on the Wednesday before the big day :) which will be a nice surprise for him. I yet to get excited about this deployment because Iām stressed about my duties as best man. I donāt want to fail Stuart but I kind of feel like Iām failing him both ways. Fail him as best man or fail him as a solider.
Anyway, Iāve put on a bit of extra weight :( the vegetarian mess food is pretty fatty, itās normally deep fried :( so Iāve been preparing myself for eating meat. The girls at the mess are nice to me and I donāt want to fail them because I know they try to get me nice food. I over heard them ordering tofu after they saw me arrive today. Iām pretty sure Iām the only pseudo vegetarian that visits them at the mess. One of the reasons for my vegetarianism is health and 203 days of deep fried vegetables is not healthy.
After my BCCC I had a week off back home and decided to do a nephew run. I flew down to Melbourne to see Oliver, Ninny, and Gerard and then up to Newcastle to see Zander, Sam, and Aaron. Nathalie was also in Melbourne so she came around for dinner and we had lunch in the city with one of her friends. It was good to see her again if only for 24 hours but Iām not sure if it was a good idea to expose her to a baby, chicks are weird like that. Oliver says a few words, I canāt understand them but Ninny translates. I changed some nappies and went to Oliverās or Ninnyās mothers group. Oliver is one good looking baby, Anne says he looks like me :). Zander doesnāt look as much like me but heās still handsome. I love the way he screws up his face before he starts crying. Heās very close to getting up on two legs. I kept videoing him, hoping to get his first steps, instead all I got was him crying when his teeth hurt.
Anyway, Iād best get to sleep. Tomorrow is lectures so I need my beauty sleep to stay awake :)
# Meeting ZanderThe Family and I sat outside the delivery rooms all day waiting for word of our latest member. Zander Ty Sampson was born at 16:24 on the 2nd of January 2008. He is my latest nephew and is a strange red colour with brown hair. My premination about his sex turned out to be wrong. After double checking Iāve asserted that heās defiantly a boy. His willy lost me a case of beer from my brother and cost him the pink outfit I bought him Turkey.
Today I saw both my sisters breast feeding. It was the first time Iāve seen them both as mothers. They are both very natural and elegant mothers and itās hard to get used to. When I left Australia, my mum was a mum, my sisters were sisters, and I was the baby. Now however, My mum is a granny, my sisters are mums and Iām an uncle. Itās hard to get used to after been the baby for 24 years, although I feel sorry for Oliver having only held the title for 5 memoryless months.
NYE was a dry occasion for me. Zander was over due and Stuart, Janell, Mathew (one of Stuās ADFA mates) and I were partying in Sydney and might have needed to drive up to Newcastle to greet him. The city was packed as usual and after a few drinks at a city bar we made our way down to circular quay to watch the fire works. By the time we arrived the police had stopped people entering the quay because it was at capacity. We conducted a quick recky of the perimeter fence and found a small unprotected gap. With Stu as Decoy kicking an Australia post box, Janell entered followed by Mathew followed by myself followed by 4 police officers who had only seen me enter. I ran into the crowd followed by the bright yellow vests and crouched down. A few seconds passed with nothing then two pairs of arms grabbed me and tore me from the crowd. I was roughly escorted past Janell and Mathew out of the quay and given an order to move. I ended up watching the display from a big TV. On the upside it did have more camera angles then the real thing :)
# more to comeIāve been blogging from my pda on my travels so I have a lot of back logged blog entries to come :)
# Home to meet Oliver :)Biram closed the city of Istanbul and I was lucky to get my christmas shopping done. I found a few little stores but my barging powers were greatly reduced as the grand bizzar was closed :( It also meant I missed out on islamic art galleries which I was really interesting in visiting.
My flight left Istanbul at 17:55 on the 23rd and arrived in Sydney at 06:25 on the 25th via Frankfurt and Singapore. The flight wasnāt too bad, I lied and said I get leg cramps on long flights so could I get a exit row seat :) It really made a difference. I tried to fight jet lag on the plane by working in Australian time as soon as I boarded. It didnāt work and I ended up only getting a couple of hours sleep on the 30 hour trip.
After customs cleaned my boots I exited the gates to the sight of my brother. It was great to see my Stuart and to know I was home. After a long hug we headed to Newcastle to surprise the rest of the family (the rest of the family thought I was coming home in march ā08). My brother had left Newcastle at 0345 telling the family that he had āNavy Dutyā in Sydney. A quick shave at the twin caltex and I changed into Stuarts Navy uniform. Just around the block Stuart disembarked Black Betty (the name of his car), and I drove up to Sam and Aaronās house. A very pregnant Sam was outside and walked in with me. After a bit of idle conversation about breakfast not being ready, Jannell spotted me and gave me a hug. Then Sam clued on and screamed. My mum quickly ran out wondering what had happened and after looking at me for a second she too screamed. Then it was time to introduce myself to Oliver (my Nephew that had arrived while I was overseas). Ollie and I bonded as I bathed and dressed him. Heās got a very strong character and beautiful blue eyes. The family and I merrily feasted in the uncommonly bad weathered christmas day. Stuart and I still had our traditional swim.
Iām returned to Sydney to organise myself. As soon as labour hits Stuart and I will return to Newcastle to greet our new niece into the world. It was great to get home and see Molly (our dog who still new my personal commands). Something was different at home, my room was now a baby room :s I tried to explain to my mum that I am the baby but it appears that oliver has stolen the crown from me after 24 years. It was a good run though.
# Greg at Galipoli and TroyYesterday marked the 92nd anniversary of the allied retreat from Galipoli. Yesterday was also the first day of Greater Bairam, a celebration of Abrahamās sacrifice of a lamb instead of his son. This meant the locals were to busy sacrificing sheep on the side of the road to take me on a tour so i had to spend another night in the little town of Eshabat. I took a free ferry (an upside of Bairam) across the Dardanelles and spent the day in canakkale. As with Eshabat, nearly everything was closed but it was a bigger town so it occupied my time more efficiently. When Iād had enough of looking into closed shops and internet cafes full of youth playing counter strike, i ferried back to my hostel, watched Galipoli once more, then slept.
Last night i dreamed of my new niece and woke up excited about meeting her.
Troy was first on todayās itinerary and i set off with two fellow Aussies. Only 10% of the site had been excavated and it showed. After an hour of looking at rocks we headed back to the hostel for the main event. It was interesting to see Galiploi from the turk point of view. School had painted a different picture of the Galiploi campaign. One of the many trinket salesmen gave me and my two Aussie comrades some spent round cases. Iām a little concerned how Iām going to return them home.
The bus is now halfway to Istanbul but its too hot to sleep :( and the movie is in Turkish with no subtitles. On the upside, Turkish buses have stewards who bring you cake and water :)
# Greg and the TurksThe train for Alexanderop left Athens at the ungodly hour of 6 something yesterday morning. The land scape changed from greens, to greens, oranges, & white then finally to solid white as the train carried me through the mountains. a Greek girl started chatting with me and invited me to her place while i wait the 8 hours for my connection to Constantinople (what the Greeks call Istanbul). I met her family then she took me out for dinner (a euros and she insisted she pay). We returned to the family home for Greek coffee then explored the city accompanied by her younger sister.
While waiting for the night train connection to Constantinople i struck up more conversations with an American Islamic mother & child, and a French student studying in Istanbul. The mother was interested in my trip and offered her husbands assistance in driving me to the appropriate bus terminal with connections to Galipoli. By the time we reached Istanbul (9 hours later) the mother of 6 had collected 3 new strays (frenchy, an American girl, & myself) which she distributed throughout the city.
With some assistance from a helpful Turkish high school student i ordered my bus ticket and 6 hours later, at 18:30, i arrived in Eckabash on the Galipoli peninsulapininclour. I found a hostel, ate an odd sort of kebab, had a nice long shower, then visited the barber for a cut and a shave. Gapilopi the movie had just started when i returned to the hostel so i settled down to get annoyed at British officers.
# More kebabsAfter a corner store lamb kebab i followed my gps 2.9km to the national gallery & Alexandros soutzos museum (stopping briefly at the military museum to look at planes and cannons). It was interesting to see how modern artists dealt with their antique ancestry. There were some amazing marble statues, so real that i was sure i could stir life into them by tickling their toes. Mono-brows where a common sight in the galleries paintings. My favorite pieces were ;
Simone pignoni 1611-1698, allegory of music, georgios averoff bequest inv. No. 1181
Georgios vroutos (1843-1909), leda and the swan, marble, inv. No. 5274
Nikolaos gysis (1842-1901), wishbone, 1878, inv. no. 119
Georgios vroutos (1843-1909), cupid breaking his bow, marble, inv. No. 5276
Leonidas drosis (1834-1882), penelope, 1873, marble, donation of the palace, inv. No. 508
Konstantinos parthenis (1878-1967), christ, c. 1900, donation of national bank of greece, inv. No. 522
Next on my to do list was the national archaeological museum. There were some amazing pieces there and lots of accompanying English information to explain the view. I made sure Iād passed every piece to get my 3e worth then headed back to my dodge hostel via the corner store for another kebab, this time chicken.
# Greg in GreeceThe ferry wagged itās tale to the horizon as it happily navigated the islands towards parits. After befriending some Americans i followed them to Athens via train. Greece has similar terrain to Italy but the undisciplined telegraph poles lying near horizontal shows the difference in wealth. I have found a cheap hostel in the dodge side of town. Tomorrow i shall visit galleries then Tuesday i am heading north.
# Picking olives with the God FatherThe snow has followed me south. I left dales olive grove this morning taking the train from pescara to Bari. Currently i am aboard a stationary superfast ferry bound for Greece.
Dale (my God Father) really looked after me. Amon (a friend of dales) and i helped Dale pick olives and work on his property. We were rewarded with wine filled lunch breaks in interesting Italian restaurants that continued until dark. The grove has mountain views that continually change as the clouds flow in different directions. I experienced my first legal drive on the right hand side of the road in dales left wheel drive golf. It was great fun and a lot more difficult in dales right wheel drive transit. Dale is in contact with a big expatriate community and we spent many a afternoon drinking with other Englishmen. I would like to spend a while in Italy and Dale has invited me back indefinitely (big mistake) so it might be me and Nathalieās next big trip.
I arrived in Bari at around midday and sort out the ferry terminal. After checking in and stowing my pack i made my way around the old town.
The invisible lady just informed me that the ferry will have an hour delayed departure due to bad whether.
Then i shopped for Christmas presents.
# Sinning in RomeIām on a train heading for pescara which is 3 hours due east from Rome on the coast. There i will rendezvous with dale, a family friend and spend some time with him.
After climbing the sleeping volcano in Napolis we headed north for Rome. Dinner was pasta and pizza followed by a stroll around the Colosseum. Adrian and Everlean continued homeward and i booked into a hostel for 2 nights.
The Vatican was my first stop on Sunday. I wore my Sunday best, jeans and my āJesus loves greg mostā t-shirt, and wondered through st Peterās basilica. After some time i stumbled upon the confessionals and thought, being the good catholic boy, that i should cleanse my soul, evidently, Iām in trouble. We discussed my teenage years and every fun thing Iād done was a mortal sin. When he asked if Iād stolen anything the issue of the legitimacy of mp3 laws was raised, he suggested an electronic block. He even had an issue with what i studied at university. Jean-Paul Sartre (my favorite philosopher) is filling my head with rubbish he asserted and psychology is a dangerous science. He suggested Thomas Aquinas and a catholic university then ordered i recite 30 prayers, none of which i knew so i just sat on a pew and pretended. i think god clued on that i was pretending because it rained on my walk home.
I kipped back at the hostel and plotted the nights mortal sins. I bought some beers & a kebab (sin #1, your only allowed to get drunk for surgery but i donāt think J.C. has an issue with kababs), saw some porn (sin #2, i passed a newsagency), watched star wars (sin #3, i denied my faith and asserted i was jedi), then jumped the fence at the Colosseum and sneeked around playing gladiators with an american mate (sin #4, iām pretty sure thatās a no no).
# Free slippers01/12/07
09:20
Lāaquila , Italy
We stayed in 4 star luxury last night. It was the best option at 00:30 when Adrian had been driving for 8 hours. They gave us slippers. Now weāre on our way to Napoli to climb a volcano :)
# The hot part of SwitzerlandAdrian and i drove to his fatherās holiday house in Lugano and Everlean trained down after work. Itās the āhotā part to Switzerland :)
# The floating city and expencive coffeeAfter swimming through the Milano smog we found the floating city of Venice. It was expensive, smelly, and poorly maintained. After miles of tacky shop lined lanes we found the square. We coffeed (4.8e espresso but it was on my life to do list), pizzaed, then escaped the endless shopping arcade as quick as we could.
# Pretty lightsSan Marino is like a tiny clean Italy. We stopped here for dinner in a pizzeria. The streets are clean, the food is good, the castle is covered in pretty Christmas lights, and the parking free. I will return to explore this brilliant little country.
# Busy eatingI havenāt had time to write, i was to busy eating.
Day 1 (21/11/07); caught a train to ZĆ¼rich through the tiny country of Liechtenstein then a connection to Zug where Adrian, everlean and i had some beers in zug before heading back to there place.
Day 2; luzern and pasico gallery.
Day 3; hiked up wildspitz (1580m) and rossberg with Adrian and Sheela (Everleans dog). Sheela enjoyed showing us the advantages of four legs on the steep snow covered climb. My explanation of the importance of opposable thumbs was lost on her. That night we enjoyed a swiss delicacy (a hot plate in the centre of the table with vegetables and cheese) with Adrianās parents and their Australian friend. I had bought a bottle of Australian wine as a welcoming present, the most expensive bottle in the shop in fact but the shop was Aldi supermarket and the Australian friend was a wine connoisseurconosur. I graciously consumed his wine gift but noticed he left some of mine.
Day 4; we visited grindlevault to snow board but the weather was bad so we ate chicken in a bucket and at night became really really drunk with Adrianās mates and clubbed until 5:30am
Day 5; nursing a hangover we made Aussie burgers and lamingtons using lemon sponge.
Day 6; lazy day
Day 7; we went snow boarding at titlist and Adrian took me down a closed black pist. I lost faith in his teaching skills when i spotted him penguinning down the steep slope.
Day 8; Adrian and i searched for a fog ocean, visited zurich, lunched with everlean, then played in electronic stores.
Day 9; today weāre off to Lugano in the Italian part of Switzerland.
Again on a train this time bound for ZĆ¼rich. I enjoyed my short stay in Vienna. I arrived into Vienna around 14:00 and followed a sign and my gps to a hostel which i later discovered was converted from a bordello. Quickly i settled in and with only a couple of hours of sun left i wondered the local area getting my bearings. A stationary shop caught my eye and i purchased some pascals to pass the time on long train trips. I made the mistake of buying some fruit with gloves then returned to the hostel promising myself Iād make more of tomorrow.
Tomorrow came early thanks to an old Chinese man with plastic bags in the same dorm. I was in the museum quarter before the ticket sellers. Soon though, i was wondering through one of the many galleries in the museum quarter, lennod, which featured works from the inter war years. My favorite pieces were Richard gerstlās, Selbstbildnis als halbakt aka semi-nude self portrait, 1904/05 & bildnis des vaters emil gerstl aka portrait of the father emil gerstl 1907. A further wonder through the city brought me to a market where i feasted on deep fried bread coated in garlic oil. A little sickly. Then returned to the hostel with more fruit, this time purchased glovelessly.
At night i ventured to the wiener staatsoper for the ballet, coppelia. I purchased standing tickets which positioned me in the back row on the top floor but with a full view of the stage and only 2e out of pocket i wasnāt complaining. It was my first ballet experience and at first i found it hard to know what to focus on, i was used to Hollywood telling me what was important. Quickly though i started enjoying the subtle background acting and magical dancing and I think it was because of this that i bonded so quickly with the characters. i was also amazed at the audience and i enjoyed swimming through expensive perfumes and colognes people watching in between acts. I will definitely see more shows when i return home.
# Powder then on to PraguePrague is slowly getting smaller as i sit traveling backwards on a train heading toward Vienna.
The morning of my last day in Krakow was spent enjoying the powdered snow in a park near the river. It was there that i saw my first yellow snow produced by a dog. This German shepherd bounced through the snow toward me. I threw him a snow ball which his nose chased until it disappeared. Then he turned and looked at me confusingly.
On returning to the hostel the Brits Iād ambushed the night before invited me go karting with them. I was a little wary about befriending the victims of our ambush citing a possible revenge attack but the temptation of free go karting was to much (they were on a stag weekend and had a spare seat). I only had 11zloti which i was saving for dinner so i was happy to learn that door to door pickup was included. 20 minutes later i was flying around an indoor track, the suspensionless axels transfered every bump directly to my spine. My hands bruised fighting the steering wheel but by the end of round one i was in third place (it was 4 people per round and one person in our round crashed out). But by the end of the day i was in second place out of the 12 competitors.
That night i left for Prague by night train. I shared a cabin with two Aussie girls (Amy & Peta), they had been staying at the same hostel in Krakow and we decided to be hostel buddies in Prague so the blind can follow the blind. We entered and empty carriage, the attendant led us to our cabin and warned us to lock the door. After a few games of shit head, and a few travel horror stories we slept. A few hours later we produced our passports and then returned to sleep. I woke again and in our room stood a dark figure with a torch in his mouth. I sat up assuming it was the guard checking our tickets, he quickly exited leaving the door open. I climbed off my bunk and re locked the door. I didnāt sleep much after that incident. The next morning we found out our carriage had been broken into by bandits, a woman in the adjacent carriage had her bag stolen and our attendant assured us he had not entered our cabin. Luckily nothing from our cabin was missing but it was a close call and has made me a little more vigilant.
My travel buddies were gen x and as such carried maps and directions. Wanting to prove a point they refused help from gps. They got us 800m from the hostel but they considered defeat and gps delivered us to the door. The hostel (plus Prague) was fancy pants, it had a sauna, swimming pool, and included a continental breakfast all for $AU16 a night. Day one; we explored the city looking at old things, i piked and kipped out then hit the hostel bar with some more Aussies for $1.50 half litre beers and shared pizza (there were 3 of us sharing the pizza so i asked if it could be cut into 6 slices. they took the piss and cut it into 7 slices which caused an uneasy stand off until we realised we could further divide the last piece with a knife). We ended up in a club in town. I was again the first to pike and walked to the tram station. The trams stopped running 30 mins earlier so i followed the tram lines 4km home with an eye out for grease in kebab form but no such luck. Day two; I woke with a dry mouth, a headache, and a dirty feeling in my tummy. Amy, Peta and i still managed to make it out that day. We zombied to the castle, watched a very impressive changing of the guard while wrestling with rude Russia women who tried to push in and then ate vitamins. A full tummy gave me new life and we wondered through the castle then Amy and i headed for an art gallery (narodni galerie). At $AU10 it wasnāt a cheap gallery but with 5 levels of interesting art it was value for money ($AU2 per floor for the mathematically challenged). There was some really interesting works. My favorite piece was Pavel brazda, podobizna otce aka fatherās portrait, 1967. The last floor we visited was for high school art works (i think). Subtlety is never their strong point but it was loud and exciting and woke me up. A hamburger for dinner then in bed by 9.
The terrain surrounding the train has turned white :) itās a good sign.
# Back to Krakow15/11/07
23:30
Krakow, Poland
I realised Iād left my pda in Krakow so Iāve returned to collect it. It was a good excuse to return to this charming city.
I spent 3 days in Budapest. Day one; i went to the tourist information centre and inquired about art galleries. The assistant gave me a map, circled some points of interest and sent me on my way. A couple of kmās later i was standing in front of the closed modern art gallery because it was a Monday. Day two; i spent the day exploring the castle and sights of Buda. Day three; i returned the the art gallery and was told that their next show didnāt start until December :s but luckily across the square was another museum (szepmuveszeti muzeum) which was filled with interesting art, antiquities, and a pasico, klee, and kandinszkij show. I bought a cheap ticket, 1100Ft but was let into all the exhibitions anyway. As in Poland the art was shown on coloured walls but the museum chose to light only the art works giving them extra effect. I wasnāt a fan but it was good to see something different.
Yesterday i boarded the night train back to Krakow. It arrived 11 hours later in Krakow at 5:30am. The hostel was helpful and let me check in at 6am. I slept. Dinner was potato dumplings at the milky bar with felicity and then we returned to the hostel for beer (i drank mostly tea and i made ice tea with snow) and snow fights. new hostel friend and i spent at least an hour snow fighting and i earned the reputation as the sniper from some drunk Brits we ambushed. Next came a snow man and finally we warmed up in the bar :)
Tomorrow night Iām off to Prague :)
# I'm in HungaryIām in Hungary :) I have been blogging on my pda but youāll have to wait until I get a good computer to upload them :)
# I'm in BudapestIām in Budapest
# Night with the IrishI arrived in Krakow the night before last staying again at Nathanās villa hostel. In my room lived two English girls who were reuniting with some Polish and Slovakian work friends (they worked at a Jewish summer camp in the US). The next day the invited me to join them on a sight seeing tour of the city. With Polish interpreters we visited visited one of Krakow museums (the czartoryski) which hung art in the Polish fashion Iād become accustomed too. Lady with an ermine by da Vinci was placed on a maroon wall. My favorite pieces were Rembrandtās van rijn and Egbert van Der poelās fire in a town. Our Polish friends guided us through the art works and gave us a history lesson. Then my new Polish friends introduced me to some donut shaped salty bread and took us through a Jewish museum.
When our legs were tired and with our heads still processing todayās inputs we headed to a milky bar where one could acquire traditional polish food for cheap :) I had something that resembled cheese tortellini :)
We returned to the hostel for drinks and snow ball fights when our night was hijacked by the Irish. After a few beers (two decent beers, one non alcoholic that i didnāt bother finishing and one apple flavoured) i found my self dancing and drinking with them in an underground club. 5am, Kebab then sleep.
Today is the Polish day of independence and more snow fell. At first the ground licked it up but when it was full it began to settle. The snow fell slowly, slow enough to catch in your mouth. In a hung over state we coffeed, castled and returned to the milky bar. Iām taking the night train to Budapest tonight.
# AuschwitzFrom Warsaw i caught a train to Krakow then from Krakow to Oswiecim known in German as Auschwitz. The camp is now a museum, each building a different exhibition. It was peaceful with the intermittent guided tours roaming past. A corridor in one building was lined 3 high with photoās of polish inmates. Some looked scared, others somewhat partial, but most stood proud, their heads tilted slightly backwards in brave defiance. Behind glass in one of the rooms was piles of human hair and on the other side of the room, piles of shoes. It wasnāt the quantity that disturbed me, it was the details. In the piles of hair, now greyed with age, was a pretty pony tail. A blue shoe stood out amongst a sea of dust covered black and brown leather. It belonged to a baby and i thought of Oliver.
It was obvious that something had happened in this camp, that many people had died, but I didnāt see what I was told I was looking at. I saw more evidence of neglect then intent. I wonder what the fate of the interned Japanese in Australia would have been if Australia could no longer feed her front line troops.
# Greg and PolesThe buildings evolved into shacks and caravans as the train headed westward. The only sign that Iād crossed the boarder was new letters in the alphabet of the station names. 6 hours after leaving Berlin i was released into a maze of underground tunnels lined with 24 hour kebab joints and buera de exchanges. i escaped the underground city into rainy Warsaw and found a pleasant hostel not far from the station (Nathanās villa hostel). With 2 nights booked i headed back into the city.
In search of some polish art i visited panstwowe muzeum etnograficzne w warszawie. The walls were greens and blues and it gave the art works a warmth not found in western European art galleries. It was warming to see a young couple introduce their toddler to his rich culture and history.
Next came the royal castle of Warsaw. On the outside it was a boring red brick building topped with copper green but inside it was breathe taking. rooms flowing with gold and mirrors, glowing white marble, art works as good as any Iād seen in western Europe.
after WWII Warsaw was left with 80% of its buildings destroyed and 50% of its population killed. Walking the streets of Warsaw today youāll only find reminders of this horrible past in art works. Warsaw the most exciting city Iāve visited. The police have black eyes and the museums are crowded with young people interested in their history and culture.
Tomorrow i am heading to Auschwitz. I decided against a guided tour, i didnāt want someone else telling me what Iām seeing.
# Eating cereal with a spatulaFrom Malmo i caught a train to Kobenhavn, Kobenhavn to hamburg (the train drives onto a ferry), hamburg to Berlin, arriving at about 6pm yesterday. I found a hostel (A&O) and had a long hot shower, my first in 3 days. Feeling clean and refreshed i hit the local supermarket for dinner. The hostels advertised a kitchen but it had very few utensils and no cutlery. I enjoyed my cereal and chocolate milk with a spatula.
Today started with a stroll through tiergarten, a massive park in central Berlin, then onto the Brandenburg gate for a free walking tour finishing the day at staatliche museen zu Berlin with a goofy head set. The sights i saw on the walking tour included the hotel window MJ hung his baby out of, the Berlin wall (which is now fenced off), Hitlers bunker (now a car park), checkpoint Charlie (where a gorilla artist had erected a merueal of the Israeli wall in the west bank), the holocaust memorial (NAZI holocaust), and humbotit university (where the book burning started). It was a very enlighten tour but it was only concerned with pre 1933 and post 1945. I found it sad and interesting that there are no war memorials for the fallen German soldiers of WWII. In the middle of tiergarten stands proudly a pillar celebrating the Germanyās victory in the franko Prussian war. There is even a memorial for the soviet soldiers but nothing for Germanyās bravest. German children (Hitlers youth) were armed and vainly gave their lives to protect their familyās from the red fate that had fallen to cities further east. These poor souls donāt even have a plaques. It really disturbed me at Humbotit University where Nazis burnt books. A plaque quoting Heinrich Heine from 1821, Dort, wo man BĆ¼cher verbrennt, verbrennt man am Ende auch Menschen (Where they have burned books, they will in the end burn people.), marks the spot where books that did not correspond with the German governmentās ideology were ceremonially burnt. The tour guide then informed us that Germany has learned its lesson and that the only book band in Germany now is Mine Kumph. After some research I found out that there are 8 books band in Germany. It scared me that the irony was lost on her.
There is a lot about Germany reaction to WWII and the Nazi holocaust that i find disturbing and ironic. Maybe i would think differently were i raised with original sin.
# Leaving ScandinaviaIām in Malmo waiting for the ticket office to open so i can book my ticket to Germany. Two hours to wait so i might take a little trip to Denmark. The night went quickly and comfortably. There were no showers so i bird bathed in the shaving room before been rocked to sleep. Scandinavia is beautiful with a friendly population and i will return when Iām a richer man.
# Another Train Station HotelIām waiting for an over night train to malmo in southern Sweden. I forked out the extra for a bed and shower. From their Iāll try and get a connection to Berlin where i want to spend a couple of days before Warsaw.
Sweden is meant to have one of the highest standards of living but on my budget i didnāt experience that. My eyes are carrying bags after a second night spent in a train station. I arrived in Stockholm late and started searching for some accommodation. After a few kms of searching with my back pack following the best i found was 300sk, about $60 for a dorm room on the other side of town. Apparently it was a long weekend. So i decided to head back to the train station where a night train would take me somewhere new but because of the long weekend the earliest seat or bed they had was tonight :( so i put my pack in a locker and settled down. Security had a no lying down policy and woke me every 30 minutes for disobeying so I had a couple of broken hours sleep before the station closed for 3 hours. I wondered and met 2 Germans in the same predicament. We utilised the heated subway before returning to the train station for a few more hours broken sleep. Once the sun had sufficient time to warm the city i left the station.
My first stop was the coin museum. I was interested why Sweden was so attached to it krone. It was pretty dull. Soon after i went to see the changing of the guard at the palace. An army platoon was being replaced by navy. From my understanding the guard duties fell upon officer cadets and it really showed. The armies effort was the most unprofessional display of discipline and drill Iād seen in uniform. After skipping around the parade ground they left to the sound of applause. The marching band and navy were impressive though. After the ceremony i passed the army platoon clearing their weapons into eagerly snapping tourists. horizontal waist level sand buckets. Granted there was a red sand filled bucket and ten meters between the two but if their drill was any measure of their soldiering skills, theyād be lucky to hit the bucket. I took a quick photo before retreating.
I wondered some more until i noticed the sun near the horizon. With a nice water scene before me i found a comfortable bench and waited for it to disappear. After 30 minutes of watching the sun slowly drift sideways i lost interest. It was still light two hours later.
# Train Station HotelItās raining and the nearest hostel is 3km away so unless it clears up soon tonight my home is a train station.
# Long bridgeI went on the longest bridge in the world today and now Iām just waiting for my transfer to Oslo. It is meant to be a really scenic rail journey. Iām not sure if Iāll stay there or try to get an overnight train to Stockholm. I got some Swedish sausage from a hole in the wall (sausage and mash or cash from an ATM) I bought an apple and a banana.
# Hippies, books on horses and free wineIām on a train out of Copenhagen heading for Oslo in Norway. I arrived in Copenhagen at 10am yesterday, found a hostel ($50 a night), and then searched the city for fun free entertainment as i didnāt have a single krone on me (i used visa to book my hostel and train ticket because i didnāt want another currency floating around in my bag). My GPS took me to the usual statues and fountains but then she guided me to a hippie commune, Christiania. Inside steal drums burned surrounded by shivering hippies. Stray dogs policed the muddy gravel streets and the walls of the tatty buildings were covered in colourful āpublic artā. There was a strict no photo policy. I wondered through, the air was thick with the smell weed, a sick looking man offered to supply me. The commune was surrounded by the city and i didnāt understand how it existed. I didnāt feel safe and escaped to more statues and fountains through gates that informed me of my reentry into the EU. At one of the statues i asked a local what Christiania was. She informed me that it was a haven for hippies. No laws, free electricity, no tax, and back in the day you could build a home there. She said it was filled with aging hippies and the government wanted to get rid of it.
I continued my exploration coming across crowd in front of a statue museum. A trumpet announced the arrival of several horse drawn carts escorted by 4 police horses. A man said some words in a foreign tongue and i entered through the crowd into the museum. A table was piled high with a book about horses and another table was covered in glasses of red wine. At each side of the lobby where massive horse statues with stone men riding. Everyone inside was viewing the commotion outside and i slipped into the museum unnoticed. Every room was full of frozen white figures and i spent 30 minutes wondering. By the time i returned to the lobby it was full of people enjoying the wine and i assume talking about the book. I grabbed a glass and avoided eye contact lest i be found out. After a few glasses and with my spirits and confidence raised i reentered the museum to appreciate more statues. I returned to the lobby to fill my glass but once full i was trapped by the announcement of a speech by the author (i assume) among others. I stood, quite drunk by that stage, laughing and clapping when cued by the audience. I thought it ironic to be at a book launch for a book i cannot read listening to an author i donāt understand. I was asked a question by a lady behind, fearful she would discovered my secret, i handed her a programme. It worked and she smiled. After six glasses i was one of the last guests to leave. I returned to my hostel, settled in, and then searched my tourist map for more free entertainment. I found a museum that promised free entry and spent the rest of my day viewing mummies, old coins and Greek antiquities. I returned to my hostel a slept waking at 8pm with a headache.
# Furthest northIāve decided to head back to Gƶteborg tonight as there were no trains to Stockholm. I had a wonder around the city but was limited by my pack. The train ride here was awesome, lots of beautiful lakes but now the sun is sleeping so Iāll get the stars on my return. This is the furthest north Iāve been and Iām feeling it. My hands are numb.
# No tripodsIām waiting at a train station in koln for the over night to Copenhagen. Twelve hours in a seat but at least i donāt have to folk out for accommodation tonight :)
With a 7am start i was in koln by 12:45. My backpack went into a locker and i booked my next ticket then set about exploring the city. I started at the cathedral where I met a real life Nazi. He lives in a little wooden and glass room in one of the cathedrals towers. His job is to stop people using tripods to take pictures of the bells. When i asked why he simply repeated āfree hand onlyā getting louder with every repetition. His dedication to his duty would have made Hitler proud. After a little wonder i ended up at the museum Ludwig which was full of some really crazy po mo art works, some really funny and others pornographic, i āappreciatedā those for a while. There was only a few references to WWII and only one Swastika and Iām yet to see a tribute to German soldiers of WWII. I think thatās sad, they were no less brave then the Australian and British, why do they deserve any less respect.
# Greg Vs the EUUsing my legs and an analog GPS receiver, a.k.a. a map, i visited the sights of Brussels. I found tall glass buildings towering over cobbled streets in an odd mix of old and new. My first stop was the unknown solider. He lay between two lions who mirrored each other facing outwards. Behind him climbed a pillar carrying other statues. A flame burned. It was a powerful scene and i wish i could have understood the inscriptions.
I headed for the museums next passing the EU centre for equality. Outside stood half a dozen statutes of women next to half a dozen breathing men. I wondered how many women worked there. I reached a massive old building which housed musees royaux dāart et histoire (royal museums of art & history) & musee royal de lāarmee (army museum). I spent 3 hours exploring the art & history museum and a further hour in the army museum.
As Brussels is the home of the EU parliament i thought it was my duty to investigate. I had a few questions regarding articles 5 & 10 of the charter of fundamental rights of the European union. Article 5 is regarding prohibition of slavery and forced labour and i was wondering if that would prevent conscription. Article 10 is regarding freedom of thought, conscience and religion and i was wondering if that protected people who deny the holocaust. The tour started with an airport style security check. After security we where given head sets and taken to the public seating area for parliament. For the next 45 minutes a voice in my head set droned on about the EU while i stared at empty 785 empty seats. I had been to eager and as such was sat furthest from the exit and had no chance of escape :(. I left quickly and on my way to my next sight i saw a well dressed immigrant woman begging with her toddler in the street. I wondered if she was aware of article 5 of the charter of fundamental rights of the European union and i wondered if those words could protect her from her husband.
The pissing boy, manneke pis was my next stop. I watched the cheeky little fellow wee into the fountain until it inspired me then I headed to a church wall that had been converted into an outside urinal.
I finished my 10km walk on top of a 10 story car park which gave me 360 views of the city and then retired to my hostel with some apples and sore legs. Itās an early one for me, tomorrow Iām off to Koln :)
# Sushi and churchI watched Google Earth from my flight out of Dublin. The clouds thickened and as the plane descended into Brussels rain worms started darting across my window. After finding a bed in a cheap hostel i went for a walk around the city and discovered a square lined with old tall buildings, most of which wore Belgium flags. The rain hardened and I found my self sheltering in a church where a priest was giving holy communion. With the cracker melting in my mouth i sat and found myself talking to god wondering if a Belgium god could understand English. I didnāt pack an umbrella so Iām lying in bed waiting for the rain to ease up so i can continue my exploration.
My last night in Dublin was spent stuff my face with Scott, Jacqui, & Chris at an all you can eat sushi restaurant (at Scottās expense). I spent the rest of the night quiet, near throwing up but content Iād tried my hardest to eat all i could. After dinner we went to a church that had been converted into a pub. The outside looked like a normal church except for the bouncer out front. Inside stood massive brass organ pipes stretching to the roof of the two story building. An inside balcony lined the walls where the pipes did not. It still had a churchy feel and i felt naughty drinking the black inside. With full tummies we nursed our half pints and then retired to Scott and Jacquiās apartment.
It is silent so i think i will venture outside for a walk. I am off to the war museum tomorrow and will book my train ticket for Wednesday, Iām thinking koln in Germany.
# Kissing stonesWeāve made it to cork. Saturday night was in Galway, Sunday night in Tralee, Monday night in Doolin (in a really nice hostel with all the little things covered like multiple hooks in the bathrooms and a peat fire place where we played cards and board games with some Aussie girls), Tuesday we drove the ring of Kerry and spent the night in Kinsale (a really European sea side town with lots of narrow lane ways but i didnāt like the guy at the hostel, he was German), and today we kissed the Balarny stone (i got tongue action and am now feeling a little unwell).
Weāve been playing a game where we try to get the cheapest alcohol. Normally beer at 1e a can but yesterday i found a bottle of fortified British wine for 3.75e which i am enjoying as i write this. Weāve extended the game to food so every day on this trip lunch has been ham & cheese sandwiches (2e each) and dinner is tuna pasta (1e each).
The Blanary castle was a fun adventure and we spent most of our day exploring the castle and surrounding caves (it was 8e entry and we were keen to get our moneys worth). The castle was in good order and we climbed a tight spiral stair case to the blarney stone at its summit. We were rushed to kiss it by a rude Irish man so i didnāt get a chance to get to intermittent.
Tuna pasta has arrived so i will bid you goodbye.
# Still road trippingweāre in doolin at the moment about to head off to see some caves in the rain. We visited Trim, where my grandmother was born and found her mothers grave. I didnāt know where the grave was and we played a morbid game of wheres wally. Chris won. I took some photos and the grave was well tended which was nice to know.
Saturday night was spent in Galway which is a party town but I wasnāt feeling so good so I skived.
# Half way roundWeāre back in Dublin and weāre continuing our trip around Ireland. We went north spending 2 nights in Belfast, 1 night in Portstewart, and 2 nights in Westport. My photos will tell more then my words. I will write more when I get a chance.
Check out Scotts website, www.scottmc.com.au (deprecated) for photos on the fly.
# Guinness factoryChris, Scott, and I visited the Guinness factory with 3 of Chrisā backpacker mates yesterday. We drank a lot of black and then hit up a crepe bar. The Guinness factory was pretty cool, it cost 14e and we got at least 3 pints so it was a really good deal, plus now I know how they make barrels.
Today was Jacquis birthday so we made chicken burgers and lamingtons. Jacqui cleaned the kitchen because weāre boys and donāt do that kind of stuff.
Weāre heading off tomorrow around Ireland if we can get a car so I will be out of blog range for about 2 weeks.
# In Ireland :)Iām in Dublin, Ireland :)
# I'm in IrelandIāve made it to Ireland. Last night we hit the piss in an Irish themed pub, there are heaps of them here! I haddnāt seen chris, scott, and jacqui for about 6 months so we had some drinking up to do. it was quite expensive at the pub so we bought some nasty cheap beer and continued at home.
Iām using my French phone number again so if you want to contact me +33 (0)615 629 198
# Second place isn't that badAustralia came second place in the ruby world cup match against England which I think is an alright attempt. Iām off to Ireland tomorrow to drink black beer :) with Scott, Chris, and Jacqui. My blog entries will be erratic for the next few months because Iāll be traveling around Europe.
Itās been nice staying in Swanage between my aunt & uncleās bed and breakfast and my grandmotherās apartment. My mumās nose is also stuck to my auntās face which is oddly comforting. Yesterday I visited a castle with my Grandmother (it was built in the 1800ās and was designed to be a restaurant). Sheās quite mobile for her age and I enjoyed the walk. She told me about berries. I walked her home and then went for a guided walk around the old rock quarries that litter the Perbeck coast. After the walk I played geologist and hunted fossils. I found lots of fossilized rocks.
Caroline and John took me out again today. We lunched in an English pub in the port town of Weymouth and visited the museum. It has prison ship floating out in the harbour. After Weymouth we visited an 800 year old church today, it sat cold and lonely on top of a whether beaten cliff with great ocean views.
Iām going to miss England. Itās coming into autumn and the leaves are turning yellow. Itās something that doesnāt occur to the same scale in Australia and I would have liked to crush them beneath my bare feet. The houses are very cosy here and they group together like penguins. Time scales are completely different here, Iām amazed that people created structures that out live them and their great great great grandchildren. It is time for me to go though and I am excited about my impending adventure to more new countries.
# Naked again :)Iām at Studly nudist beach in Dorset. Itās 3mm and blue so Iām wearing a scarfā¦ But thatās all. The nudist part is a mile or so long so Iāve had a nice little strut up and down past a few older couples who find the ground immediately in front of them very interesting but Iāve caught them having a little look when i pass. There are dunes behind me with lots of bird watchers welding binoculars and cameras with big lenses. A flock of old people just passed and I received a very disapproving look off an old man, I think itās because I left my boots on (I donāt want to have sand in my shoes for the walk home). I think Iāll go for a jog then walk the 5km back to jasper knights, my aunty and uncles B&B in Swanage.
# Visiting GranFriday night was a heavy drinking session with the boys (my 3 second cousins from Bracknell). It was my farewell from Bracknell. We hit Windsor at a bar call ha ha then a club called liquid. A girl in liquid told me i had petty eyes :) then asked if i was gay. I macked it out on the dance floor and due to my unfitness a quickly exhausted myself thus needed frequent refreshments. We kebabed outside, had words with fellow drunk testosterone sacks, then taxied home. It was a good experience but nearly identical to a night out in oz. The only differences were, peculiar open kebabs with very little salad & no BBQ sauce, colder whether, funny accents, and 3 times as expensive (55 quid, $140 in gods currency).
I am currently in Swanage at my grans. She took me out for lunch today and tried to fatten me up with various temptation during the day. I survived all but one attempt. Iāll be in Swanage until the 9th of October.
There is talk of an election here. I enjoy being immersed in foreign elections, i think they show a lot about the people. The candidates are David Cameron and Gordon brown. David Cameron is a sleazy fellow who touches his nose when lying and doesnāt allow ladies to pass in front of him through door ways. Gordon brown is also sleazy who is too religious for my liking. I want to vote to finish my British experience but i donāt trust either of them. I want to know what theyāre going to do for the Aussie backpacker. I donāt suppose there is a pro republic party?
# clubbing, elections, and granFriday night was a heavy drinking session with the boys (my 3 second cousins from bracknell). It was my farewell from bracknell. We hit windsor at a bar call ha ha then a club called liquid. A girl in liquid told me I had petty eyes :) then asked if i was gay. I macked it out on the dance floor and due to my unfitness I quickly exhausted myself thus needed frequent refreshments. We kebabed outside, had words with fellow drunk testosterone sacks, then taxied home. It was a good experience but nearly identical to a night out in oz. The only differences were, peculiar open kebabs with very little salad & no bbq sauce, colder whether, funny accents, and 3 times as expensive (55 quid, $140 in gods currency).
I am currently in swanage at my grans. She took me out for lunch today and tried to fatten me up with various temptations during the day. I survived all but one attempt. Iāll be in swanage until the 9th of October.
There is talk of an election here. I enjoy being immersed in foreign elections, I think they show a lot about the people. The candidates are David Cameron and Gordon Brown. David Cameron is a sleazy fellow who touches his nose when lying and doesnāt allow ladies to pass in front of him through door ways. Gordon brown on the other hand is a sleazy fellow who is too religious for my liking. I want to vote to finish my British experience but I donāt trust either of them. I want to know what theyāre going to do for the aussie backpacker. I donāt suppose there is a pro republic party?
# in SwanageIāve arrived in swanage
# Blisterd handsMy hands are blistered and my legs are sore :( I spent the last two days landscape gardening. Itās been good working outside and itās been fun commenting on the ābirdsā with the boys. I feel tough working with my hands but I donāt like it when the dirt makes them feel too dry so I keep washing them but that doesnāt make me any less of a man. I got to play with the cement mixer today. It was really fun but I made it too watery because I was washing my hands when filling the mixer, I think Iāll invest in gloves of a rejuvenating moisturiser for night time use. Iām working with my cousin, Greg, and his work partner Neil on a property in Ascot.
Last night I had a few pints of Guinesses with my cousins down at the local, the Boots. The Rugby was on but the TV in the pub didnāt have channel 3 so we watch East Enders, it made me feel more British. After East Enders we played some pool. Greg and I played against two gentlemen called Dave. Evidently Gregās are better pool players then Daves.
Weāre meant to be going out tonight but I really donāt feel up to it. Iāll try and get out of it because I think theyāre having a big one and I donāt have the money or energy for such and adventure.
# On the raod againIām going to miss the Gryniers :ā( They really made a part of their family and when I left there I felt home sick for the first time on this journey. I think itās harder leaving people when youāre not sure when youāll see them again. Knowing that the Gryniers would have a hard time dealing with my departure I left chocolates, wine, and sympathy cards. I also got Kay and Bob theatre tickets to a murder mystery :O I had been complaining about the cold September weather so they bought me more thermal underwear :) so Iāll stay nice and toasty.
I trained to Bracknell today to spend a week or so with some more family on my dadās side. Sheena and Graham (my dadās cousin) have three sons, Frasier 20, Greg 22, & Jamie 24. Theyāve already organised my weekend and Greg has got me some work tomorrow with this landscaping company which will help pay for the weekend :) Iām looking forward to working outside, Iāve been in an office full of chocolates for 3 months and with my lack of will power my trousers have tightened :( Kay was also involved in my bellyās expansion with her massive meals :) she even admitted to testing to see how much I could eatā¦ I passedā¦ and felt ill and content.
# last day :(Today was my last day of work at the Laurel Pub Company. I spent the day stuffing my self full of chocolates and feeling sick, guilty and oddly content.
Iāve really enjoyed my time there and played some fun pranks on the new staff. I thoughtfully lent Sarah my pass when she left hers at home but I swapped the Laurel security pass for my Ceroc membership card so she had an amusing conversation with one of the building staff. Yesterday I played the lift game on the new girl Cheryl. It worked perfectly as Kirtsy and I observed Cheryl trying to swipe her card into a different company while the meeting inside stared at her. Cheryl however had seen accessed my myspace page and shared some pictures sheād discovered with the office in revenge. I will get her back. We went out for lunch and I received some nice words in my cards and some warm goodbye hugs.
My new adventures start in Bracknell on Thursday :) so Iāve got a lot of packing to get done. My laptop will be going home to Australia so for the next few months my blog entries may be far and few between but Iāll try to keep you up to date :)
# Greg vs the MosqueYesterday I visited a Mosque in Luton. I am planning on traveling to Turkey and I wanted to get a better understanding of the Muslim Faith and culture. My timing worked out quite well and when I arrived I was informed by a fellow outside that there was an open day of sorts upstairs. They had lots of information in the form of posters, pamphlets, and talks from people of different faiths out lining Islam and itās relationships to Christianity and women etc. I also talked to an Irish fellow who had converted to Islam because of Christianities effect on his home land. I agreed with most of what was said (except for a really boring talk by a 13 year old boy about Islam and the environment, it just didnāt finish and he used all those annoying effects in powerpoint with the spinning letters and annoying sounds!) but I donāt understand why people choose to derive their morality and humanity from contradictory ancient books as apposed to thought and reason. It seems a little dangerous no matter how good your intentions. Iāll stick to my agnostic pantheism, thatās the way god made me ;), and youāre entitled to disagreeā¦ but your opinion is wrong. One thing that I really did like about Islam was the free chocolate croissant at the back of the Mosque but Iām pretty sure thatās just a trick to get me back, weāll see if it worked next Saturday.
Last night I cooked for everyone. I was meant to cook 3 cheese tortellini with creamy sage sauce but because Tescos doesnāt sell fresh sage leafs and Iād bought square pasta sheets instead of round pasta sheets it became 3 cheese ravioli with creamy red sauce :) Silly Tescos with itās lack of sage and abundance of Yorkshire puddings and alike.
Today was spent playing with air rifles, bows and arrows, kayaks, and rock climbing walls. It was a scout event for adults that Hayley took me to. I really enjoyed it, it was like year 10 camp but my voice had broken. We played with the air rifles first. The target was 10 meters away and we wore funky science glasses. Iād never shot an air rifle before and I was quite surprised by their accuracy and power and now I want one to shoot stuff. Next we played with the Kayaks, they werenāt all that great and there was something wrong with mine because it wouldnāt go straight. Archery was set in woods and I felt just like Robin Hood expect I had trouble hitting the target 20 meters away unlike Robin Hood who can split an arrow in half. We finished the day on the rock climbing wall but I wasnāt feeling that well and Hayley and I only played once before retiring home for supper and pudding (that means dinner and desert for those who arenāt familiar with pomie english).
# yet another lazy weekend :)Iām having yet another lazy weekend :) in preparation for my go go travel in the coming months. I booked my train ticket for Europe and look up hire cars for Ireland but my weekend has mainly been filled with laying in bed. Before I left the UK I was planning on visiting my grandmother on my dads side but when I called her and asked she turned me down :( Sheās not aging so well and I donāt think Iām going to be back in the UK anytime soon so I was a little disappointed. She seems to have the maternal instincts of a sponge. I donāt actually have any memories of her and it would have been nice to have met her if only once. The experience made me appreciate my other grandmother, sheās my real grandmother, she sends me birthday cards, makes me fat with roasts & fry-ups, and has an Irish accent.
So here is my plan for the next few months.
19th September
I finish work and have a going away bash :)
21th September
Visit family on my mums side.
5th October
Head to Ireland and stay with Scott and Jacqui.
5th-10th October
Drink Guinness and be merry with Chris while waiting for Scott and Jacqui to finish work. Maybe visit some family.
10th - 24th October
Road trip around Ireland with Scott, Chris, & Jacqui.
25th - 30th October
Fly to Europe, maybe in the north, and chill for a few days
31st October
My 22 days of rail starts so Iāll head south through some random places in eastern Europe and maybe get as far a Turkey.
22nd September
Head to Switzerland to visit a mate Adrian.
Very lose and itās a work in progress :)
If you have any ideas of cool places to visit over that side of the world please leave a comment and let me know :)
# Not dead, just lazyIām not dead, just lazy. Hayley and I visited Amsterdam 2 weekends ago. Very interesting š we stayed at a Christian youth hostel which was conveniently located next to a Thai massage parlor and next door to that were pretty red lights denoting a lady who would make you feel happy for 50 eruosā¦ So i over heard. The district was packed from 9pm till late and Hayley and I spent every night strolling past the ladies. i especially liked the weird exotic fetishās, like the big mummaās and my favorite, the frog eyed lady friend.
Hayley and I were forced to take advantage of the day due to the Christians 2am curfew, so on Saturday we went on a free walking tour offered by the hostel. As expected it was old bridge, Nazi, and jesus heavy which left out the red light district. Still, it was quite interesting and Christianity was a large part of the cities history so i took some photoās of JC and I. We spent the rest of the day exploring Amsterdamās canals on a leg powered paddle boat.
Day two was spent getting a sore bum on a tandem bike. As with the paddle boat I did more then my fair share of peddling :s the bike took us to the art gallery which was full of paintings of battles won and epic conquests for mysterious new lands. It was incredibly busy and i couldnāt have a painting to myself :(
On our last night we strolled the district so Hayley could have one last stare. Thanks to goofy looking ponchos and a heavy down pour we had the red lights to our self. The ponchos acted like blinkers on horse making Hayleyās unsubtle staring even more obvious, and because of our matching film 4 ponchoās I couldnāt even pull the āsheās not with meā look.
Over the past few weekends Iāve been playing chief for the Grinyerās. Aussie burgers came first and went down well, sushi next without as much success, then last night, summer spring rolls with satay dipping sauce and optional chili (I ate a lot of chili which hurt a lot more coming out then it did going in). For the sushi and spring rolls ingredients i had to wonder the peculiar isles of the Chinese supermarket. The same ingredients in Australia can be found in any supermarket because Australia has a lot heavier oriental influence so Iām excited to see what Indian influenced foods england has to offer that I havenāt discovered at home. In the Chinese supermarket I bought what I needed and also a surprise can of drink that had bits of jelly in it. It tastedā¦ interesting but i wanted to appear open minded so I drank half of it.
# Bye Bye GeorgeGeorge (the lucky fellow who had the honour of sitting opposite me at work) had his last day on Friday. Heās heading back to collage one day a week and needs a 6 day weekend. On Thursday we bought him lunch and then I convinced him that Kristy had rubbed cheese on his chair. George has a phobia of unmelted cheese but he believes he is allergic to it and explained to me that when you melt cheese the bad bits disappear but the bad bits return when it returns to its solid state. He ended up going home early because he was sick. Before he left he looked at me with a pale face and said āNow do you believe this cheese thing isnāt all in my head?ā I smiled and agreed with him.
Lynn bought George chocolates on Friday which he shared with us although I had to threaten his new puppies life with a gypsy curse to get the good purple ones. To celebrate his last day George and I played the elevator game tricking Lynn and David into getting off at the wrong floor. George and I had a good laugh as they swore revenge and waited for the elevator to collect them. When George and I returned to our desks George noticed his going away chocolates were missing. His suspicions led him straight to my desk draws where David had planted them. It was nicely played.
# Back in DunstableBack in Dunstable
# In AmsterdamIn Amsterdam for the weekend with Hayley.
# Relaxing WeekendAfter 4 weekends away while working 5 days a week it was nice to stay in bed until 11 on Saturday, even if i still woke at 7. After breakfast i returned to my bed for more recuperation.
# Summers in EnglandThe sun is on my back, water has changed to its liquid state and Iām enjoying the finest summer day england has offered me yet. Itās been a long slow week because i havenāt been feeling well, Iām a little run down after 4 weekends back to back so i declined Jamieās offer of a drinking session tonight in favor of bed restā¦ And maybe grease the musical on dvd.
On Tuesday Trudy tasked me with the challenging job of looking for the word coffee in 800 invoices. It was something different so i eagerly searched the pile. After about 200 invoices and not one containing the word coffee, Trudy appears with a smile and says ādonāt worry about that, Iāve got something else for you to doā. Later she informed me that the invoices containing the word coffee were at the bottom, a fact that she claims she didnāt know before tasking me, but i know better. Phase one of my revenge came today when she was training the latest Angie replacement, Patricia. The email system at work pops up any received emails with with the subject and first few words of the email. So while Patricia was in front of Trudyās computer being trained I sent Trudy an email regarding her human flea treatment. Phase two wonāt be noticeable until mid august.
I went Ceroc dancing on Tuesday and applied to be a dance buddy. If iām successful Iāll help the new comers on Tuesday night but more importantly i can say with an arrogant dancers posture āi teach danceā.
Wednesday and Thursday went by slowly because my eyes found a clock on the wall. Iād disabled my computer clock and turn my phones display away unless the time is favorable to me. I helped speed up time by drinking lots of hot chocolate, which led me to a side by side comparison of chocomilk vs hot chocolate, two drinks competing in the vending machine for my tummy. Hot chocolate won with its superior chocolate flavour and lack of sickly after taste, followed by chocomilk, followed finally by the 50/50 mix which had the worst of both beverages.
# MilanoIām on the bus home from work because Cathy is dedicatedā¦ Or slow, but either way she had to stay back. Iām not feeling 100% after 4 consecutive weekends away so itāll be nice to have a weekend at home before Amsterdam with Hayley, my cousin.
I arrived at the hotel I had booked at midnight after a two hour flight, a hour shuttle bus trip, and a 45 minute public transport adventure. I handed my printed booking slip to the gentleman at the service desk. He turned it over and scribbled an address on the back informing me that there was no longer any room because a family had arrived. I was a little worried that this would result in me sleeping under the star (i could only see one star in the Milano night sky) so i took the address along with some shoddy directions and headed on my way. The directions led me for 30 minutes until i arrived at a cafe. I showed some of its patrons my scribbled piece of paper, which they replied to with laughter. With some help from the wateriness i arrived at the address and understood what the laughter referred too. In front of me was a dilapidated building with a panel of wires and dim lights where the intercom would normally be. After starring at it for 5 minutes trying to figure out how to activate it a gentleman came down to greet me. He read my booking slip, collected my money, and took me to a door. He rang the door bell and a rather large man in his underwear answered the door. After some Italian gibber I ended up in a room with 6 other beds occupied by 4 female Mexicans and a male Spaniard. It was now past 1am and I was tired and glad to have a roof so I hit the sack.
When I woke up I realised I was staying in someone apartment. It had 4 rooms housing 15 backpackers with one toilet/shower room. I was very disappointed but keen to get out and see Milano so I heading into town. While wondering through the little streets of Milano a massive white cathedral appeared in front of me. It was so intricate with hundreds of statues climbing itās walls. Some more wondering brought me to the central square where some Algerian man gave me a āgiftā. He tied some colourful string to my wrist and before we parted he shook my hand and did the over the top American style hand slappy thing resulting in him having position of my thumb. This was when he asked for a donation. I declined and his grip tightened and his facials dropped. I retrieved my thumb and walked off colourful string richer. By the end of the weekend I had gained 2 more colourful pieces of string attached to my wrists. I looked quite festive.
Next I headed to the main shopping arcade with fancy shops where people open the doors for you. I visited some pretending that I could afford to wear their names. In the centre of the shopping arcade was a mosaic of a bull. People were spinning on the bulls bollocks. Apparently it is good luck for the coming year. It didnāt seem to be good luck for the bull, the spinning had resulted in a deep hole where his bollocks should be, but Nathalie had told me it was a must do and with my accommodation issues I decided it was a good idea.
Then I was off to the art galleries. Firstly I visited an exhibition of Italian art. It was really interesting art from 1968 to present but one of the guards was a stare picker, as in, he stared at you and picked his nose at the same time. It was oddly intimidated. The Milano contemporary art gallery was my next stop which was full of Jesus and Mary. My sister, Samantha gave me a little lesson after my Louvre comments which helped me appreciate the Jesus and Mary paintings. They were quite interesting, seeing the important differences that had pasted me in the Louvre.
I continued to explore Milano and came across some cool Milano sunnies for 8e. With my new Milano sunnies I strutted around and was mistaken for a local on a few occasions :) By Sunday I spent my budget, so I tricked my self and claimed that things took home didnāt count towards my budget. With this mind set I spent 50% over my budget. I donāt think Iāll use that excuse again, although I do have some funky Milano swimmers, and I got something for Nathalie and Oliver. Oliver wonāt get his cool Milano clothes for quite some time, in my excitement about buying childrenās clothes I ended up getting 2yo+ sizes :( but heāll get bigger :)
After an Exhausting weekend I heading to the airport, flew back to the mother land and had a hour wait to get though customs.
# Back in DunstableBack from Milan
# In MilanFlying to Milan
# I'm an uncle!Oliver OāConnor entered the after-birth at 8:30am on the 26th day of July, 2007. Iām yet to see a picture of him because technology let me down :( but Iām very excited about meeting the little fellow. I brought chocolates to work today to celebrate his arrival and Iāve got some sparkling wine which Iām yet to consume in his honour. Iāll post pictures when I get some :)
Work was very slow because I was excited so at lunch I found ways to amuse myself. I work in a 3 story building which has 2 elevators. People normally only use the elevator to move from the ground floor to the second floor. With this in mind I sat on the first floor and called the elevator and whenever I noticed it move down I would press the up button so as the elevator would stop at the first floor before continuing onto the second. But because the floors look so similar people would leave the elevator, notice something wasnāt right then turn around to see the doors behind them close. I would giggle on the inside so as not to give away my guilt. One of the ladies from my office on the top floor went as far as trying to swipe into the office below but was alerted by the strange beeps the swiper was making. Good times.
# Moved againI donāt think Anne got much work done last week and people must have noticed because I was moved again today. Iām sitting on the other side of the office in Angieās old desk. When I turned on the computer her name appeared in the login window. I felt a chill down my spin and quickly deleted it. Iām sitting next to a new fellow, Scott. After my last experience it took he a while to build up the courage to ask him if he wants to file together but to my surprise he replied softly āOKā.
I start open uni soon. My first course is called Globalisation: The Asia Pacific and Australia through Griffith University. Iāve never studied by correspondence and I was concerned that I wouldnāt have the initiative or will power to do well, but then I realised that at Newcastle University I didnāt have the initiative or will power to do well :)
# BremenI left the tram and after five minutes walking the hostel appeared. It was clean but cozy. I entered a room with 6 beds, one occupied by a French Canadian Chick, and 4 occupied by young Irish fellows. After a quick chat I hit the town on my lonesome to make some German friends. It didnāt really work :( and the only guy I spoke to was an ex army Sargent who left shortly after I bought him a round, not that I cared when the beers were 1.5e. After standing in a club looking uncomfortable and drinking my beer to try and lessen my uncomfortability I went in search of food. For 3e I got the biggest piece of pizza Iād ever seen and a long neck of beer. I sat down and enjoyed my pizza, drank my beer, watched the hundreds of push bikes go by, then retired to the hostel.
The next day I got up fairly early as I normally do after a night on the piss and walking into the town centre where I found a market. I wondered through and came across a gentleman selling bikes. I asked āHow much?ā
to which he replied ā30ā,
I said ā5ā,
He said ā10ā,
I said ā5ā,
He said ā7ā,
I said āOKā,
and I had a bike. It was an old red girls bike with only a back peddle brake so people kept asking me question in German assuming I was a local, Iād look at them blankly and because I canāt get my head around multiple foreign languages I would reply with something in French explaining that I donāt speak German and then peddle onto my next adventure.
I visited some Art Galleries in Bremen which all impressed me. The first was The Bremen Art Museum and I could have spent the weekend in there, not because it was so big but because they gave you seats to sit on and the art works were really challenging. The classical works were very fresh and not as dry as other art Iāve seen here in Europe and their contemporary pieces were very industrial which was quite refreshing after the Louvre. I would like to visit some more German Art Galleries.
After a Day of exploring Bremenās parks and side streets on my bike I heading back to the hostel
to consume beer that came in plastic bottles and chips (or crisps if youāre a soap dodger) with what I though was dip but ended up been potato salad. I drank with my room mates and after some drinking games we headed to a club that was 4 floors high (I didnāt find that out until after I left) and we boogied till 4am.
The next day I did another 2 art galleries which didnāt impress me as much as the first one but were still good. Then I did some more bicycle exploring and bought some little red berries that Iād never seen before. They were too sour and the ducks in the park agreed with me. It was annoying having such a late flight out, been a Sunday there wasnāt as much to do so I ended up arriving at the airport 3 hours early. I put a sign on my bicycle that read āFree Bikeā and left it on the bike rack near the tram stop. After a yet another pat down from custom officers š I found a comfortable bench and kipped out until my plane arrived.
# Back in DunstableIām back in Dunstable. The plane was delayed, I donāt think Iāve been on an easy jet flight that hasnāt been delayed. A taxi driver at the air port tried to charge me 40 quid, or $100 in gods currency, for a 10 minute ride, so I took a free shuttle bus to the train station and got a 10 quid taxi there :)
# In GermanyIām in Germany :) So far so good. Iām blogging from my phone because my GPS PDA is loosing battery and itās my way to the hostel. I sat next to a German who works for Macquarie Bank and an English woman who sleeps with her mouth open. I spoke my first German words in Germany when I came through customs, I said ābitterā. I was very chuffed with myself. The only other German words I know are from Rammstein songs so Iām not sure what kind of friends Iāll make here. Iāve just gotten on a fancy tram. I havenāt got a ticket but Iāll play the āIām Australianā card and give them a smile, and if that fails Iāll pull some Rammstein lyrics and theyāll think Iām manically depressed and leave me alone.
# Great Co-WorkersMy co-workers are really smart good looking funny people. On an unrelated note, Cathy, my cousin, showed the office, to my embarrassment, my blog. On another unrelated note, Cathy is 1/4 pikie on the opposite side of the family to me :)
Iām at the airport about to fly to Germany. I walked here from work because the roads were chaos after flooding, it rains a lot here. People at work werenāt complaining too much because there was a summer party going on down stairs with beer and ice cream. You can make beer spiders with that combination :) everything is quite hectic here been the first day of school holidays and my flight is delayed so Iām sitting here drinking some lemonade that is apparently ājust like granny makes itā waiting for a screen to change from blue to red to let me know how delayed my flight is :( I could be enjoying beer spiders. Iām going to tell my granny that her lemonade is too bubbly when I see her next. I smuggled some toothpaste past customs, Iām a bad person but I thought it was wrong to charge me Ā£1 for a clear bag to prove Iām not a terrorist. If my toothpaste was capable of destroying a plane, think of the damage it would do to my teeth! They chose me for a ārandomā personal search. I use ārandomā loosely because I know he was just looking for an excuse to touch me, and to make it less obvious he did it to a dozen people before and after me, youāre not fooling anyone mate, but I donāt blame you and Iām not one to turn down any attention š
# PhotocopingAfter feeling a little guilty for eating so much chocolate yesterday I decided to make my self feel better by tempting Trudy, who has more will power then me and has been on a diet after her holiday. I slowly pushed an open box of roses chocolates closer to her until she noticed them and lidded them and moved them far away. When she left her desk next, I scattered some chocolates on her desk but when she returned she didnāt crack, she just cleared them away and gave me a dirty look. The day continued and by 4 sheād broken and enjoyed the evil delicious chocolate. I smiled on the inside.
Iām feeling a little more comfortable at work and have started been a little mischievous. After using the printer I left it set to print 11 copies instead of the usual one. I went back to my desk so I didnāt get to enjoy the fruits of my labour but my next attempt led to Pat, the girl who sits next to me, returning to her desk with an annoyed look on her face and a hand full of paper. She exclaimed āIāve got 10 of these stupid sheets cause someone didnāt return the photocopier to one sheetā. It made my day. Funnily enough Iāve been told that I can rub some people the wrong wayā¦
Iām off to Germany tomorrow. Bremen, Iād never heard of it until I stumbled upon it on the easy jet web site. Iād never been to Germany so I thought Iād visit. Iām still not sure what Iāll do when I finish my work contract here. Iām tossing up between a Russia-China train trip and an Europe-India back packing trip. Iād love to do a Bollywood dance course in India. But the Trans-Siberian express would be a brilliant adventure too. hmmmmā¦. What do you think I should do?
# too many sweets :(Iām on the bus today, Cathy is playing with horses this evening. I donāt mind because I needed some exercise and itās a 20 minute walk to the bus stop. The custom at work is to bring sweets and chocolate for everyone on special occasions but because I work in an office full of women they use any occasion to ātreatā them selves which results in chocolate and sweets been available everyday. I was moved on Monday directly across from my boss and right next to where the chocolate and sweets are distributed. While itās understandable that my boss chooses to look at me all day, although i donāt know how sheās going to get any work done now, itās annoying been so close to so much tasty sugar. but Iām not one to turn down attention (Except maybe from Bec Cartwright, I donāt like her chin) so Iāll sit there contently :)
Iām back home now, Iāve eaten dinner. I was talking to a Czech friend at lunch today and she was telling me about her home land. She showed me some pictures and Iām keen to visit Prague. They have an easter tradition where the men of the town get two sticks from by the river, weave them together, put a ribbon on the end, and then hit the girls to keep them pretty. It sounds fun!
# late train and some photosI didnāt get home until after 9pm yesterday :( the whole trip from Swanage to Dunstable took over 6 hours because of train delays due to a fatality at Luton Station, but donāt worry, it wasnāt me :) After checking my email etc I didnāt get to sleep until late last night so I was tired this morning. One extra strong mocha later and I was wide eyes open, pounding my keyboard into my desk. My extra energy was focused into my bouncing right leg until the lady opposite, Pat, remarked āCan anyone feel that, my computer is shakingā. I quickly stopped but the caffeine had hold. Minutes later my leg was off again. My leg stopped and started all day, confusing Pat until I couldnāt handle the guilt any more and admitted that the shaking wasnāt just in her head, and that in fact it had been me :( The up side of this caffeine trip was that I got through twice as much work as I usually do :) But I donāt want them to get used to it so Iāll give the mocha a miss tomorrow.
Now for some photos :)
Taken in the Louvre, Iām cultured š
Feeding Horses in France
Iām on the train home to Luton from Swanage. I stayed with my 89 year old grandmother. She speaks with a thick Irish accent and hears opera music that no one else can hear and then tries to convince me that I can hear it too. I like grandmaās cooking but Iām a little weary of it seen as though last time i was exposed to it for 6 months i gained 20kgs :s so I avoided the full Irish fry up in favour of corn flakes. I was feeling a little nostalgic so I steered our the conventions towards to old county and away from immigration and how bad this country has become because of all the foreigners, never mind the fact that Iām earning more in 10 minutes then most people earn in a week. Poor native British population with their cheap international travel and top notch health care, i hope in the future they treat the native British as well in they as we treat the native Australians :s but i suppose itās all perspective. When we got to grannyās flat she pointed out the door opposite and informed me that the owner is a farmer and spends 2 weeks a year here, ālucky ole girlā she remarked, completely disregarding the fact that she gets to spend 52 weeks a year in sunny Swanage. I tried to get as much information as i could about her parents and grandparents. She got her younger sister, Gerty, on the case and between the two of them i learned a lot. I found out that my great grandparents were married in New York but had to return to Ireland because Edward Thompson, my protestant great grandfather was dis honed for marrying a catholic :s Iām going to do some other research to see what else i can discover about my families sordid past. My eyes leaked when we parted, sheās old and i donāt know if Iāll see her again, so before i left we enjoyed a sherry, her favorite drink, and she told me about kitchens.
Last night i enjoyed fish, chips, and later beer with aunty carol, uncle john, cousin Alexander, and her fiancee Brendan. We walked along the sea front and then retired to an English pub for beer and convention. The olds got tired and left us to it.
Today carol and john took me out for a drive and a ploughmans in an old English pub with the celling as low as 5 feet in parts. I think it was created by hobbits. I tasted some local beers and got a little tipsy which is making this train ride quite pleasant. When i was in england at 16 carol told me i was welcome back anytime and i did really feel welcome. Carol and john run a medieval theme Bed and breakfast called jasper knights in Swanage which keeps them busy. Itās really interesting and iāll take advantage of it in the off season š
# Friday the 13thIām on a train on my way to my grandmothers in Swanage. Iāve been writing my memoirs and now Iām feeling a little sad about my first dog. The train cost over 50 quid for the 3 hour return trip :s it really hurts giving someone $130 for 3 hours on a train that will inevitably be late. I havenāt seen my gran for 7 years so Iām nervous excited which is a bad mix for the bowel. The train driver has just apologised for the delay :s
Last night was fun. I met bob parents, and bobs dad was also a sig in the British army, he served in japan and India among other places. We ate lots of food and then George help laura open her presents. I would not have known that George had been sick earlier that day, he was full of beans and was either happy as larry or balling his eye out.
Nothing exciting happened at work even though itās Friday the 13th.
# At Granny'sIām in bed at grannyās apartment. John jasper, my uncle, picked me up from the train station and dropped me over. My grandmother is doing very well, sheās got a nice apartment with ocean views that i am yet to see seen as though it is night and raining. I think the TV has been telling my granny stories because she keeps telling me to watch out for groups of boys saying that theyāll just attack me for no reason and how much worse it is now days. Seen as though life expectancy in the UK is at a all time high, i doubt that Britain is spiraling into anarchy :s and even if the TV says one person every few weeks gets stabbed and killed in the UK, there are 60 million people here, zebras wish they had those odds. So i just listen to her thick Irish accent and think of rolling green hills and lepricorns :) sheās been fussing over me a lot which is sweet but i have to tell her quite firmly not to worry about me. She wanted to show me how to use the shower but i told her Iām a man of the world and can figure it out :)
# More GeorgeNow Iām on the bus home after a hard 7 hours work. Nothing too exciting happened apart from having lasagna instead of salad for lunch and finding the strength button on the coffee machine :) Fridays are alway exciting though because itās the day they test the fire alarm. At about 10am for about 5 seconds the fire alarm sounds, which is good i suppose unless a fire breaks out for 5 seconds at about 10am on a Friday, weād all be burnt alive with no warning :(
George will make an appearance at lauraās birthday do but canāt eat anything because it comes back up and although chocolate cake can taste nice when in the form of forced seconds, heās only two so might not have his regurgitate-chew-swallow-reflex down pat. Plus heās become self aware and just like Skynet in the terminator series, heās been naughty. Weāre lucky he isnāt employed by the US government and doesnāt have the same resources as Skynet.
I bought laura a bottle of wine. I like wine presents Because if they donāt like it they donāt feel obliged to keep it, they can just lie to you āyeah Greg, it was really niceā. My stop!
# GeorgeItās lauraās birthday today so weāre doing something tonight. Iām on the bus to work running a little late. George was sick this morning so Cathy couldnāt take me to work with her. The nerve of that two year old! My stop :) will finish later.
# SuspendersI missed beavers but still went Ceroc dancing with Haley tonight. My legs are sore. I wore suspenders because it makes me look classy so I pointed this out to Kay before we left. On the way there I also informed Haley of my suspenders which by this stage were under my jumper and she looked puzzled at me. I flicked them and she corrected me, in England they are called braces, and suspenders are the things girls attach their stockings to from their knickers. I would have looked the right fool impressing girls who I was dancing with by saying ādo you like my suspenders?ā. I pointed this out to Kay, she laughed.
I booked flights and accommodation in Amsterdam for me and Haley :) and now Iām looking into a trans siberian train trip home, I can get as far as China then fly or swim the rest of the way. I think Iād be an adventure but Iād like to do it with someone. I can get the tickets from China so I might get my new step mum to hook me up seen as though she is Chinese.
Bot bot update; itās itchy so I think itās going to peel :( stupid British sun burn, it wasnāt even hot!
Leave comments :) I got a poem from my dad :)
# Weekend in BrightonIām off to Brighton for the weekend. Itās a town on the south coast where the soap dodgers go to swim when its hot. Itās also got a big gay community so Iām hoping the night life will be good š its an hour and a half train trip and costs 30 quid return or $75 in gods currency. I thought that was a bit steep seen as though some flights over seas are that much and on flights you get to watch the stewardess go through the safety instructions. I really enjoy that part of the flight, itās like a little synchronized play. I booked two weekend trips for later in the month. one to Milan in Italy and the other to Bremen in Germany. Iād never heard of Bremen but Google told me itās in Germany and I have never been there so i figured it was a good idea. Next month Haley and i are going to Amsterdam and then Iām thinking of having a long weekend in Marrakesh, northern Africa which would be exciting and knock another Continent off my todo list (leaving just south America and antarctic).
Natalie, my sister, is due in julaugust so Iāll have a little nephew or niece to play with on my return to oz. Iām not sure but i think i will have had enough of england once my 3 month contract is up. But Iāll play it by ear.
Work was slow today and i didnāt do much. I tried coffee but that just made my legs move fast under the desk. Then, through Carie, the lady who sits next to me, i found out they can see how many invoices i put on each day. Damn machines! It was a Friday though, and we got let out 10 minutes early because a section of the ceiling fell down. That was exciting.
# Sore bot botIām back in Dunstable and Iāve discovered that because I spent most of my time on my tummy at the nudest beach my bottom is sun burnt :) I didnāt think I could get sun burnt here! Iāve never had a sun burnt bottom and itās at the stage where it feels lightly burnt, like a gentle heat on your skin.
# I'm nakedIām lying naked on a nudist beach in Brighton giving my bot bot a tan. Brighton, been the gay capital of the UK, has a high percentage of guys on its nudist beach or maybe all nudist beaches are like this. I didnāt bring a towel and this ābeachā doesnāt have sand just hard pebbles that stick uncomfortably into your back.
I arrived at Brighton train station at 8pm with the addresses of 5 hostels and my phone and camera batteries dead. After walking around Brighton for 2 hours with my trusty hand held GPS I discovered that one of the hostels was full and that the other 4 werenāt real, Google had lied to me again. So I tried some bed and breakfastās. Of the 30 or so seen only two had vacancies and that was for 45 quid a night. On my walk around Brighton ladies out the front of clubs had given me promotional vouchers telling me that i could get cocktails for 2.50. I quickly did the math and discovered that for the same price as a room i could get 18 cocktails and party all night. I walked to the club with the cheap drinks and on the way was attacked by a cow girl hens party who pinched my bum and made rude comments. I quickly found the club and used my voucher which also gave me free entry. I paid the a pound to the cloak lady to hold my bag and when i turned around i saw the cow girl hens party that had been pinching my bottom. When I walked further into the club and found it completely empty so I ordered a drink and sat down to ponder my sleeping situation. A couple of minutes later the dance floor was filled with cow girls. The cow girls then put a chair a few feet in front of me and the bride to be did a little dance. Me having a girlfriend felt terribly uncomfortable and didnāt enjoy the attention at all š the āwhat do I do nowā tension was broken by a crazy dancing old man of about 70 years who kept climbing on chairs and jumping off. He had very white pants that glowed brightly in the UV lights. That kept the cow girls occupied and once i finished my drink i disappeared back on Brightonās lively streets where i was frontally groped by a passing girl. It was late, i still didnāt have accommodation and all the bed and breakfastās were closed so i decided that i might be sleeping under the stars on the cold pebbly beach. I walked under the pier and bumped into some random guys who started chatting to me. One of the gentlemen, Dave who was on a stag night but had lost his friends, offered me accommodation at his hotel room. His philosophy was that heād been wronged in the past by random people and by helping other random perople out it would be saying āf#@% youā to the wrong doing randoms by not letting those events change him for the worse. With that in mind and the fact that he was a lot shorter and drunker than I and was on a stag night we set out for his place stopping for a beer on the way home (i made sure i bought the beer and kept a good eye on it to make sure nothing other than beer went into my glass, picturing my self in a bath of ice or with a sore bot bot). Dave assured me it was just 2km up the road. 5km later we came to the blue lagoon bed and breakfast. I still wasnāt sure if i was going to stay but when we entered a dreadfully messy room with 5 beds, 4 empty and one filled with a loud snoring fellow I knew it was a stag night and felt quite safe. For some reason Dave insisted on taking the floor and I lay in his bed. I woke a couple of hours later to some guy saying āwhoās that and why is Dave on the floor?ā and 3 guys in the door way. I replied āGāday, Iām Gregā. He looked confused so i continued āI met Dave under a pierā. He seemed fine with that but was a little concerned because i was from Australia, the land of convicts, and assumed all his stuff would be gone in the morning. They were very friendly though and that didnāt seem enough reason to throw me out so we just went to sleep. In the morning Dave was still asleep on the floor and missed the not only the bed but the breakfast part of the bed and breakfast so the other boys invited me down to eat his which I willing obliged. After breakfast i said my thanks and goodbyes, left my email with the still sleeping Dave and caught a bus back to Brighton to save me the hour walk and ended up naked on a pebble beach blogging on my PDA :) Iāll head back to Dunstable today, Iām not going to risk another night without accommodation :s
# BeaversIām at work waiting for Cathy, my cousin to finish and give me a lift home. I thought Iād hang around because Cathy will be 30 mins and will take 10 mins to drive home verse the 90 mins or so catching the bus takes :s Plus I get to blog in the mean time.
Iāve been helping Haley, my cousin, with beavers. Itās scouts for younger children 6 to 8 years old. I enjoy it but have discovered that itās a lot more religious then I realised. Andrew, a beaver leader told the children the story of Noahās Ark and then they drew pictures of the ark. I donāt really think itās a suitable story for children. This majicaly creature in the sky gets angry with the world and decides to kill everyone except for one crazy guy who thinks god is talking to him and his family. Then the guy and his family incestuously repopulate the world. I didnāt understand what morel the beavers were meant to take away from this. Maybe that if you hear voices that tell you to build a massive ark you should do it, or that incest isnāt really a bad thing, or that there is a magically creature in the sky that will kill you and everyone you know but he loves you. But beavers are moving forward and apparently it doesnāt matter what faith you are as long as you have faith. But what about poor atheists?
We played a games at beavers called sticks in which you have a tug of war with a stick. The beavers were put into two teams and then individually coupled against a beaver on the opposing team. The teams were odd so I was played to even things up. I was coupled against the smallest beaver who came no higher than my waist. I dominated the beaver! I kicked his little arse twice. Then he sat down with a disappointed expression on his face like heād failed. It made me feel strong.
# Bye bye AngieIt was Angies last day today. Her parting wasnāt anything special, she just disappeared at 5 with not a word spoken which was probably best because she might of yelled at me for suggesting filing together, that and the fact that i found out her name was actually Angela not Angie which Iād been calling her for the past 2 weeks :s
One of the girls at called me gorgeous and when i declined a sweet commented that i was sweet enough :) which while been true, made me feel a little uncomfortable and i blushed. If i had said to a girl what she said to me Iād probably get in trouble, well maybe not me, but if another less super attractive man said what this lady said to me to another female member of staff theyād definitely get in trouble.
I took the bus home today which meant a 20 minute walk into Luton but it was alright because i walked with a czech friend from work. We talked about silly English people. I Might be going on holiday with my other czech friend on the weekend if i can find somewhere cheap.
One of the advantages of working for a pub company is freebies. Yesterday they had a box of st patrickās stuff which i help myself too and today they had weird bottles of sickly sweet juice smoothies. Itās good for morel but bad for my bowel and i spent 30 minutes in the toilet after i finished it.
Gregās office tips:
Turn off your screen saver so when you leave your desk it gives the impression that youāve just left. If youāre screen goes blank when even when you turn off your screen saver just change your screen saver to pictures of your screen.
Get one of those rubber finger things, it makes you look important and makes it easier to point at things.
Forward your personal email to your business email so you can look busy.
# No smokingTheyāve just brought in a smoking ban in the UK which means that all the pubs will smell of the soap dodger BO instead of smoke. Itās going to affect business so a guy with a slide show told me in a meeting at work (I now work in the industry, Iām in accounts payable of a pub company). I really enjoyed the slide show, it meant that I didnāt have to work for 30 mins but even better than that my name, among others, was on the slide show as a new member to the team. The gentleman at the front of the meeting asked everyone to give the new members a round of applause. I wasnāt sure if I was meant to applaud the other members or just stand there and make the most of been applauded. So I stood there uncomfortably smiling and did a half arsed leg tap. Angie wasnāt invited to the meeting because sheās finishing up tomorrow. Iāve been avoiding eye contact and have found a longer but less dangerous way to the coffee machine. Iām still quite scared that sheās going to stab me tomorrow. Itād better wear an under shirt.
I went Ceroc dancing with Haley and Laura tonight. It was fun and interesting to see the different way they dance here. They have a different dance culture which I wasnāt aware of and which made for an embarrassing situation when I told a lady, who I later found out was an instructor, that she didnāt know what she was talking about and that Iāve been dancing for a year now.
Nathalie has gone back to Australia because she was quite ill :( Itās good that sheās back home with her family and Iām sure sheāll be well again shortly so Iām not too worried. Her job in Greece turned out to be a bit of a dud. The place was nice but soulless, and her health insurance didnāt start until September, which is fine if youāre not sick but if that was true you wouldnāt need health insurance. Bob Fillis, the gentleman who employed her wasnāt happy but heās Greek so it doesnāt matter.
# She's goneAngie is been let go as of next Wednesday so Anne told me early yesterday :) but because shes working through a temp agency Anne contacted them to terminate her contract and it doesnāt appear as though she knows yet :s so Iām worried Iāll get stabbed on Monday, or maybe sheās a good employee and will see out the rest of her contract professionally and then stab me, Iāll just have to wait and see. Iāve been doing my best to avoid her and not make eye contact.
However this victory of mine feels a little shallow and no longer having an arch enemy has left me feeling a little empty. Itās like Fidel Castro dying of old age, sure the US has one less enemy but they didnāt get the pleasure and satisfaction of destroying him themselves. The US lost by default. And Iāve got this other feeling in my stomach, itās like hunger but eating doesnāt make it go away and every time i think about Angie losing her job because of me, it gets stronger. Maybe drinking will help :)
There was a failed car bomb attempt in London today, the tv is telling me that it was Al Qaeda but the tv also told me there was a 24 hour postal strike today. The tv hasnāt made the connection between thousands of disgruntled postal workers with free time on their hands and a dud car bomb but Iām sure it wonāt take them long.
# run inI had a bit of a run in with my new arch enemy Angie yesterday. She is a my way or the highway kind of girl but because of that, i end up doing more work (she makes me file in between her work which takes a lot longer than if we did it together). So i went to articulate a possible solution but by the 5th word of my idea she got narkie and went on a 5 minute spiel about how she doesnāt want to file with me and every time i tried to explain my point she raised her voice. So i stood there in an open plan office been yelled at by a crazy lady. Everyone averted their eyes uncomfortably and I walked away a little shocked and did my filing by myself. A little later Kate came up to me and told me that she shouldnāt be speaking to me like that and that sheād informed Angie and my boss, Anne. Later Anne came up and asked how i was going. I think there was an episode of Dilbert like this.
# Week oneIāve finished my first week of 9 till 5, monday to friday work. Itās not that i havenāt worked 9 till 5, or monday to friday, just never together. Iāve already got an arch enemy. Her name is Angie and she does the same job as me. Sheās doesnāt believe in systems and makes me do a lot more work than i need to.
Iām moving from kath and boyds (my dads aunty and uncle) to kay (my dads cousin) and bobs (kays cousin) on sunday. They have the internet. I really liked staying with kat and boyd but itās hard living with older people when your generation why and used to living on the fly. Kath told me off today for coming home too late. Iāve never made it home from work in time to eat dinner and itās usually in the microwave so i figured an extra 30 minutes wouldnāt matter but it did. I didnāt know how to react been told off at 24 so i went outside and played with the dog uncomfortably for a while.
Iām off to the real estate agencyās tomorrow. Theyāre showing me two cheaper places and then on monday iām seeing a nice one. The nice one has been in the paper for a while and the agent is very keen to get someone in it, so keen infact that heās picking me up to show it to me. I can stay with kay and bob for as long as i like but i want nathalie to move over from greece and it would be nice to have a place of our own.
# The summer salsaItās still light outside on this, the day of summer salsa. I went swimming with haley and liz. I donāt have goggles so my eyes hurt. Office work is nothing like the tv show. I type numbers into a screen then click a button, then type more numbers. Itās quite boring but the company seems like a good company to work for because they have free hot chocolate.
Today Trudy asked if iād met Angie, iād met a lot of people in my first 4 days of work and this Angie wasnāt important enough to remember so Trudy introduced us again to which Angie replied āyes, we met yesterdayā. I smiled and looked at Trudy like she was a fool for re-introducing us.
Well itās late and iāve got dress down day tomorrow, I feel just like Dilbert!
# First dayI had my first working day in 3 months today. I put invoices into a spreadsheet. Itās pretty boring but the company seems to have good promotion opportunities. I get an hour for lunch making it a 35 hour week. There is a gym close to my work but itās incredibly expensive, Ā£65 a month, thatās $2k a year in gods currency, so i think iāll give that a miss. Well iāve got a contract to fill out :)
# :sI just got in from a night out with my second cousin, cathy. It was an early one because iām shattered from friday night. I went out with Haley, another second cousin and got very drunk on tripples :s so i couldnāt give it my all tonight. Cathy wouldnāt let me walk home because she feared for my safety and put me in a cab which was sweet. when Haley and i walked home on friday night we had a big drunking deep and meaningful.
Today haley took me shopping for work clothes but i was quite hung over :( then i had a hair cut which made me feel surprisingly good. It set me back Ā£9, thatās twice what old mate in carrington charges and they didnāt even pull out the cut throat!
Iām moving in with kay (my dads cousin), bob (her husband) and haley (their daughter, my second cousin). It is close to cathy (their middle daughter, also my second cousin) who got me my job and who i will be traveling to work with. They also have the internet :) they have 2 english sheep dogs. Iām not sure if their called english sheep dogs because they look like sheep or because their used for herding sheep.
My last lie in tomorrow :(
# I'm employedI just finished an interview at kathyās work for a data entry position. The pay is Ā£16,000 about 40k in real money, and iāve been given a 3 month contract starting monday week. Iām pretty excited about having an office job. Belay that second last comment, iāve just been told that i start next monday, that means i can get well sloshed tonight in celebration :) kathy organised it for me and even picked me up for the interview, easiest job hunt ever. I had another interview today for a national insurance number. I had to goto a town called bedford which is an hour and a half bus trip through some really nice english countryside.
Nathalie is living it up in greece but says that the food makes you sick, they should advertise it as a diet holiday.
# Some helpToday I met Kay, my dads cousin, her husband, bob, one of their daughters, kathy, and kathyās son, george, who is 2. This helped me piece some of my family tree together :) kathy took me to a pub in search of work and beer. I didnāt get a job but i got a little tipsy :) once i was a little tipsy i asked her how i was related to the people i was currently staying with. She filled me in with lots of details and we shared some family secrets. It was nice to speak to her, i really didnāt expect to feel some welcome on my dads side of the family because of the stories he told me about his parents but it was a pleasant surprise to feel so warm with strangers that share only a small amount of blood with me. Iāve got a big day tomorrow so iāll cut it short. Good night.
# Still ConfusedIām still no closer to figuring out what relation kath and boyd are to me :( iāll give my mum call and ask her. I bought a sim card today with cheap international rates, so cheap it is actually cheaper for me to call oz then the uk. I also applied for some jobs, one at Windsor Castle, i figure the promotion opportunities there would be pretty good and if i work hard i might get to be the queen of england! I also applied for a job at a pub. I looked into getting benefits but it seems a lot easier to get job then to get benefits, and even when you do itās only Ā£47 a week, hardly enough to get drunk on in the UK. I really miss centre link :( i donāt have the internet at the moment and iām getting withdrawals. There are a lot of wifi hot spots around but there all locked :( kath has noticed iāve gotten a little bored and has suggested i go stay with boz who has 3 sons around my age. They live closer to london town so i think iāll do that, and boz works at heathrow so he might be able to line me up with some work. maybe theyāll let me fly the planes or even give people petit bags of really salty nuts and then little cans of coke that wouldnāt quench the thirst of a drowning mouse whoās not really thirsty in the first place because he was having a drink before he started drowning. Iām going to go to the library tomorrow to use the internet to continue my search for work.
# In EnglandIāve arrived safely in england and iām staying with some relatives, Kath and Boyd, from my dads side but because i have no idea about my dads family i donāt know how i am related to them. I think they are my great aunty and uncle, but kath is Scottish and boyd is English and i thought i was irish :s They picked me up from the airport and because iād never seen them before they had a name plark ready. I felt very special. They have been really warm and have a really nice home complete with dog (jamie). Tomorrow iām going to go looking for the dole office, get a hair cut, and then get a job.
Nathalie called me as soon as i got to kath and boyds home. She is safely in greece with part time job that includes a beach front apartment. Not that iām jealous, iāve got tescos.
# Left ParisLeft Paris by plane
# Arrived at LutonArrived at Luton, north of London, and staying in Dunstable.
15 minute plane flight including time difference :)
Iām sitting at charles de gall airport in paris. Nathalie left for greece a few hours ago for her teaching job and iām off to london staying with some family on my dads side. Iāve been at airports for 22 hours now and my flight doesnāt leave for another 2. The reason for this is that nathalies flight was at 06:10 out of orly which meant she needed to be there at 04:10 so it was easier to go there the night before and because we couldnāt be bothered dragging all our luggage around paris all day we decided to head straight there after we checked out of our hotel. So we slept on some reasonably comfortable airport chairs and then i bid her goodbye and headed over to the other side of paris to the airport i was flying out from.
Iād like to do paris in the winter when there there less tourists like me :) the louver was awesome but honestly i got a little bored in there, too many paintings of jesus. I found londons tate to be more stimulating, and at the tate you donāt get in trouble for sitting on the ground, i think theyād encourage it. Next time iām in paris iād like to see what morden art paris has to offer.
Now for some travel tips;
The trick with public transport in france is to not validity your ticket, that way you can use the same ticket over and over š
another trick iām using is bringing a laptop with me, most airlines allow you to bring a laptop as well as your regular hand luggage so iāve pack my laptop case with heaps of heavy junk and iāve got and extra 5kg to play with (minus a couple of kgs for the laptop its self)
And if you have a pda, get a program called metro. Itās free to download and will give you public transport directions in most major cities using buses, subways, shuttles, trams, and trains. Itās been very useful.
Never complain to a person behind a desk, they have the customer service skills of a donkey and the initiative of a brick. Cut your losses on the day and complain to the company via email. I scored Ā£40 of eurostar vouchers this way.
Weāve left cahors and are currently in paris. I saw the tower today and it was a different colour than i expected. There were huge lines so i just admired it from below. Iām off to the uk on tuesday because of a break down in communications between Bob Fillis (the greek guy organising nats teaching job) and nathalie is still heading for greece for her english teaching job then sheāll come to the uk once iām setup :) will write more soon
# At the louverIām in the louver sitting down taking a break. Itās massive bedassive. My legs are sore :( i had a squizz at the Mona Lisa, it was a lot bigger then Iād imagined, i think because everyone told me how small it was. It was hidden behind a piece of glass that reflected an image of a lot people staring. If she was conscious i think sheād be quite embarrassed. Iāve had enough of France and will be glad to be in a country that speaks gods language. I had high expatiations of France and she really didnāt hold up. She is hardly the utopian society Iād envisioned, welcoming, warm, the cultural centre of the world as it is portrayed in movies. Instead i found a France that was scared of its self and the rest of the world. I see a lot of guns floating around been carried by police and soldiers but they donāt make me feel safe, they make me feel controlled. And the French have a mentality not to ask questions and just accept this from their government as the new norm. I thought that France somehow had more culture then Australia but that statement itās self is ignorant. The only culture that is quantitative is the kind found on toilet seats. Paintings donāt equate to culture. I found France to have a very static culture. the youth want to evolve and talk politics a lot but if burning cars for 10 nights in paris doesnāt change government policyās, i doubt talking will. The youth are offered free university but only the rich can afford to go. You need a job to get welfare and access to the health system. So the youth that can leave do so, which has made London the 7th biggest French city with 300,000 French living there. This is counter balanced by thousands of British retiring to French country towns with their strong pound. Well enough bad mouthing France, it has some really nice scenery and a lot of paintings and if youāre rich and British itās a nice place to retire to. Plus Iām over eating begets!
# Left CahorsLeft Cahors on Train for Paris
# Arrived in ParisArrived in Paris
# Nothing muchI havenāt blogged for a while because I havenāt done a hell of a lot. Nathalie has been working and Iāve been a house husband :) Weāve got a residency at the hostel. Itās really cool, we get our own room and they feed us breakfast every day and dinner every weekday, but best of all, our room has a bidet! Nathalie said I canāt wizz in it :(
Weāre off to Greece on the 12th for Nathalieās English teaching job. Itās very exciting, iāll have to start again learning a whole new language. Iāve been in France for under 2 months and can get by on my own so Iām sure Iāll be alright. The place weāre going is on the water so Iām going to enjoy some much needed swimming, lots of cheese makes me happy but itās starting to show.
I am writing this blog entry from the discomfort of a toilet paying for my birthdays wonderful cheesefest (isnāt technology grand) I ate about a kilo of cheese on my birthday and the following day and it does bad things to your insides. Maybe I shouldnāt have eaten the wax as well :s Nathalie had to work on my birthday so I spent the day inspecting the towns wall while enjoying the hardest cheese I could find (Iām a little over soft cheese, I just wanted cheader or parmigiana) it wasn;t very hard. Nathalie came home with lots of little cakes, bread & cheese (which although made me burst a blood vessel was very tasty and well worth it), and a wizard figure for my nefew or niece (i want to build him or her a castle or palace, but either way a wizard fits in with both). We lit the candles (20 candles not 24, it made me feel better) and I made my wish. Then it was pizza, beer, and dancing :)
Nathalieās 22nd birthday was the day before mine on the 2nd of may. It was also the day she started her new job at au buerau (I think thatās how you spell it, it means the office) which she seems to enjoy. Because she was at work I had a lot more time to prepare. I wanted to buy her party hats and but they donāt sell them in super markets here so I decided to make some. I bought some cardboard and sticky tape and with the help of a friendly Germans toe nail clippers I had two fancy looking hats. I also got her sims 2, an odd game where you control peoples lives, itās like a virtual doll house for grown ups. We ate ice cream cake, drank cahors wine, and then pizza.
Weāve both been sick for the last few days which isnāt fun when itās your birthdays plus in Natās case, youāre starting a new job. I was sick first so I have to live with the guilt that I made Nat sick :(
Well Iām going to shower and go visit Nat at her work.
# Sugar mummaI just dropped Nathalie at work for her second day. She doesnāt really like it there, itās a really snooty French restaurant but sheās got another job offer starting on Wednesday and this is good experience for her. Plus itās money and how can she be my sugar mumma if sheās not earning? I watching French TV and Iām a bit over not knowing whatās going on :(
I was sitting at a fountain reading my Tin Tin comic when 5 homeless looking ultra hippies, maybe Gipsyās came with there pack of about 10 dogs. They pushed the dogs in the fountain, I assume to wash them, and then pulled them out. The dogs seemed in better condition then the people but were clearly scared of them and cowered when a fast movement was made. These people keep dogs with them so they cannot be arrested as the police need a vet present to arrest someone with a pet so you see a lot of these people with dogs, rabbits, cats, etc so Iāve been told. It was an odd sight so I took a photo.
France has a lack of public toilets and it gives the streets a distinct smell of urine. On my way back to our hotel today after dropping Nathalie off I saw an old man taking a slash in a car park. I was a little confused and I think I was staring. I did find what I think/hope was a public toilet. It was very odd and the troff was clearly visible from outside. I took my chances anyway.
Weāre currently staying about 2.5Km out of town and itās very country. There is a field next door with 3 horses in it, 2 white and a black. I donāt like the black one. We fed them carrots and took some photos of them. They donāt have horse shoes and there hooves are all cracked. Maybe thatās why horse shoes are good luck, because they stop your hooves from cracking. Maybe they are food horses and thatās why they donāt have shoes. I hope the black one is food but Iāll miss the 2 white ones. I named them.
# ANZAC day in FranceIām in a bar writing this blog entry analogically :( whilst reading the French comic Tin Tin (Iām up to the 5th box and the first two boxes didnāt have words in them) Nathalie is at work until 11 so Iām just hanging out to pick her up (by pick up I mean walk her home, we donāt have one of those fancy motor cars) Sheās had a long day, she started at 9:30 with a two hour break. But sheās got other job offers so I donāt think sheās too fussed, itās only a 3 day trial. I on the other hand am still unemployed but my French is improving and I think I should be job worthy within weeks :) I think :)
Last night at bar I am currently residing in, we meet a few people who bought us some local booze. The people in Cahors are really friendly once you explain youāre not English (I tell a white lie) A couple who spoke no English showed me a place where I can learn French, Iāve been doing a lot of paper talking (getting people to write down on paper what they are saying so I can look it up in my French/English dictionary) I long for English speaking company (apart from Nathalie) and the other night we found some in the form of an American staying at the hostel. Nat and I talked her ear off and we shared 2 bottles of Cahors cheapest (under 3e for a nice bottle).
Weāre staying at a formule 1 hotel for 3 days. The hostel was booked out and we didnāt reserve enough in advance. Itās 29e for a room which can hold 3 people (although itās only the two of us) verse 10e each for dorm accommodation at the hostel. Weāve applied for long stay accommodation at the hostel. Itās pretty good and comes with breakfast and dinner 5 days a week for 332e each a month.
My hand held GPS let us down yesterday. We were on our way to the formule 1 hotel from the hostel, a 1.5Km trip so my GPS friend told us but when we reached the supposed location of the hotel it was nowhere to be seen. I tried asking a local but unless they speak really slowly, using really basic words, and lots of hand gestures (and preferably speak in English) I struggle to understand. With Nathalieās help (she speaks the tongue of the frog fluently) we discovered we were 4Km away from the hotel and were in fact walking in the wrong direction. But a gentleman by the name of Alex, after seeing how much baggage Nathalie was struggling to drag offered to drive us. Very helpful, weāve got his number and will be buying him a drink.
I ate Brie cheese with a baguette for bread and cheese day (18th of April, the day we emigrated to Australia which we celebrate by eating bread and cheese as that was the food my father brought back for our first Aussie meal). And for ANZAC day I drank Fosters, real Australian :)
Well my hand hurts from analog typing so Iāll sing off here :)
# In CahorsNathalie has a job interview today at a bar here in Cahors. If she gets it weāll get an apartment here and settle here for a while. Itās a nice place and itās wine country although I havenāt had much wine yet. If Nathalie gets this job weāll drink wine :) I am trying to apply for uni here. Itās really difficulty trying to get though all the French bureaucracy. My first taste of French bureaucracy was 15 minutes after arriving in France. We paid for the tickets using Laurens credit card which we obviously didnāt have with us when we reached the first stop on our train trip to Montpelier. But they wouldnāt let us onto the next train until we showed them Laurens credit card or gave them the numbers from the credit card again. It was for security but they didnāt actually want to see the card, just get the numbers again :s I wonder if thatās why the unemployment rate is so high here, maybe they just havenāt filled out the right forms.
Cahors is really nice, itās defended on 3 sides by a river which has a 16th century castle bridge crossing it and on the other side by a wall. The defences must be really good because I havenāt seen a Viking yet!
Iām picking up French pretty well, today I asked where the plastic forks were and the guy understood me. A lot of words are very similar and most of the time I just speak English with a thick accent.
Weāre still in a back packers here and Iāve found wireless internet :) so I spent a lot of yesterday putting a map of where Iāve been on my site. Itās on the main page, just scroll down :) There are lots of hippies here. Nathalie and I washed out clothes in the bath yesterday and hung they up in a spare room here. Then Nathalie got yelled at by the cleaning lady. It made me laugh.
# sitting in a web cafeIām sitting in a web cafe with 2 minutes left and I just wanted to say hello and left you know I&m safe and well :)
# Left MontpellierLeft Montpellier in search of jobs and appartment
# Arrived in CahorsArrived in Cahors, itās wine country :)
# Down Town MontpellierIām sitting in the center square of Montpellier been spoken at by some drunk French man. He seems happy though although I have know idea. He probably wants to play pin the tail on the Aussie :( he just kissed me on the neck but it is France :s l told Nathalie that I would meet her here so Iām a little stuck :( I took lots of photoās today, Montpellier has heaps of really pretty lane ways. Weāre leaving here on Monday because weāve been here a week and are yet to find an apartment or jobs. A week is all Montpellier gets to impress me :)
With my neck still wet I continue this blog from the comfort of Kevinās apartment. Kevin is a friend of Nathalieās. They were each others exchange students when Kevin lived in Reunion Island. Heās been letting us stay at his place which is really nice because he lives in a studio apartment and has had no privacy since we arrived last Sunday.
# Left LondonLeft London on train to Montpellier
# Arrived in MontpellierArrived in Montpellier
# Day out in LondonOn Friday after weād arrived in London Mrs Greenall offered us some tea and we chatted to her and Lauren about our trip and plans. After our tea we showered and retired to bed for a short kip. I hadnāt told any of my family or friends that I was coming home to the mother land so I decided to give a surprise visit to some family friends living just 2Km away. Nathalie and I walked to Julie and Dales home to stretch our legs after 20 hours sitting down and when we arrived Samantha, Julie and Dales 17 year old daughter answered the door and after not seeing me since I was 16, in 2000 welcomed me in thinking I was my brother. Dale unfortunately was in Italy and Julie was embarrassed because she hadnāt had time to clean up the house. My mum had called Julie to make sure sheād be home and Julie was quite surprised how deceiving my mum was. After 2 cups of tea and 4 hours of conversation we went back to Laurens house where Mrs Greenall offered us some tea. Day 1, 4 cups of tea.
Yesterday Lauren took us into London to see the sights. We bought all day passes and took the tube into town. The Tube was packed but after a while Nathalie Lauren and I scored seats. I noticed an older lady standing so I stood up and offered her my seat but by the time I moved to let her sit some French child had stolen it :( Rude little French boy. We arrived at Big Ben just in time to hear it ring for 11:15am. It was amazing. They have a lot of anti ramp and blow up protection around parliament house and there are lots of police, or as the locals call them, Mr Plods walking around. I think the idea is to make the people feel safe but just seeing all these police every where made me feel uneasy. A bit over the top. We then went to visit Tony for tea at number 10. There were 3 police behind a big black metal gate guarding the end of the road. One had a machine gun and there was more anti ramp protection. You couldnāt even see Tonyās door :(
After trying to visit Tony we headed to Buckingham Palace for tea with the Queen. On the way we came across the funny looking guards with swords. They had funny metal hats topped with white strands and red poncho style coats. Iām not sure what they were protecting but Iām sure the police standing around would have done a lot better job, but maybe theyād attract less tourists. After walking through the park we came to the Palace where the queens flag flew high. The crowd was massive and we arrived just in time to see some 6 or so red coats surrounded by 4 guys in black with what looked to be giant PA systems on their backs surrounded by 2 police officers on horses walk though the gate for the changing of the guard ceremony. We couldnāt see any of it because the crowd was too big so we left and walked down the south bank to visit the TATE museum. There is so much detail on the buildings in London, it really amazed me.
The TATE was packed and an annoying man in a green shirt was standing really close to Salvador Daliās, Metamorphosis of Narcissus. This annoyed me and when I said to Nathalie that āthere are too many people looking at paintings and not appreciating them as artworksā she said I was pretentious. We continued around the TATE and when I came across an sectioned off empty room I decided that I wanted to be appreciated. When no one was around I crouched down and remained still in the sectioned off part. By the time Nathalie and Lauren found me there was quite a crowd appreciating me. Once my leg got sore I stood up and quickly continued on my appreciating of others works.
We then caught an old London double decker bus to Trafalgar Square so I could climb a Lion. Last time Lauren took me to London, 7 years ago we also went to Trafalgar Square where I climbed a Lion. Iāve still got it š
Last night Nicola (a friend from Harlington High, the school I went to when I lived here for 6 months in 2000 and also the school where I met Lauren), Sheena (Laurens friends who came with her when she visited me in Sydney), Lauren, Nathalie, Mrs Greenall and I had pizzaās, wine and an easter egg hunt. Sheena was the winner of the easter egg hunt but as it had become dark she had the advantage of a good torch. 15 of the 17 eggs were recovered so 2 eggs remain for me to find this morning although no one believes me the other 2 exist.
Weāve booked tickets to Montpellier and leave on Sunday :) How exciting! Nathalie still needs to get in contact with her Montpellier friend so we have a place to crash for a couple of days.
# In London :)Weāre in London. We arrived at 5:24am and Lauren and her mum picked us up :) This will only be a short one, Iāll fill you in with details later on.
# Arrived in LondonArrived in London
# Stop over in Kuala LumpurOne and a half hours in Kuala Lumpur
# Left Kuala LumpurLeft Kuala Lumpur in flight to London
# Left Australia :'(Left Perth next stop Kuala Lumpur then London
# Chiling at the airportAlthough my web site would have you believe Iām currently in flight from Kuala Lumpar to London Iām really just at the airport and the mistake is due to stupid time zones and my lack of being able to figure them out :s
Weāve got an hour and a half here and they have free internet. The airport at least is quite western but a lot of the women have head scarfs. Iām wearing a shirt that says āJesus Loves Greg Mostā and I got some weird looks from the flight attendent as I left. Maybe he doesnāt understand my British humour.
Iāve got a money belt that I was quite impressed with and used for my passports when going through customs at Perth International. The customs officer told me to be carefully with it as it may be misconstrude as a bomb or something. I laughed but she was quite serious. Billions of dollars, thousands dead, on the war on terror and I donāt even have the freedom to wear a goofy money belt :( Where is the justice?
# Light EntertainingIām playing hang overs after a big night. Nathalie and I entertained some of Natās friends at her dadās apartment in North Bridge. Itās a really cool apartment with a balcony on the main strip of Perthās night area. We cooked a cake and I offered some to some passing Irish peasants walking along the foot path below us. They didnāt reply kindly and wanted to fight. I from the comfortable vantage point asked from where in England they came. I felt safe in a the apartment, separated from the 2 angry Irish by 4 metres, a security door, an elevator that needed keys, and the apartment door. I didnāt count on the persistence of the Irish and about 30 minutes after they disappeared to try and find the stairs they also appeared on the balcony. I was a lot more humble to them when they stood a level to me but when I turned to Nathalie I saw her eyes burn through me. Brenden noticed this too and I knew I had to coerce them to leave. I got them nearly to the front door when one of them offered to kick box Brenden, he said he was some sort of champ and I stopped doubting him when he removed his front two teeth and placed them on the kitchen bench and started bouncing around. With some help from the girls we finally got them out side of the apartment and locked the door.
When the clock struck kebab oāclock Brenden, Chris and I heading down the strip to get our fix. The kebabs cost $7 dollars which was very helpful as with notes it gave us a $2 coin in the change. All except Brenden who bought his girlfriend one too. It was helpful because we passed a $2 peep show on the way back to the apartment. We entered all excited, it was my first time at a $2 peep show and I entered a dark booth placed my $2 dollar coin in a slot about a opaque screen and to my amazement the screen instantly cleared and before my eyes was a naked girl doing something rather sexy with dice. She told me to close the door behind me to which obliged. It was then, in a closed cubical smaller than a toilet that the smell hit me. It was thick and I can still taste it in the back of my throat. I noticed tissues and a bin that was full of used ones. That kind of ruined it for me as I realised that dice girl was seeing other men :( I over heard Brenden struggling to put his $2 worth of 50c pieces in the $2 coin slot. I welcomed him into my booth but dice girl didnāt approve and the screen returned to its opaque beginning. I donāt think Iāll see her again, I think she was just using me.
Nathalie and I visited Fremantle and I saw a bus on itās way to āCockburn Centralā. I didnāt get on it but I did take a photo. Nathalie told me then pronounce it differently and itās a social fopa to in Perth to refer to it as Cock Burn and scratch yourself.
# Still in PerthIām still in Perth spending time with Natty and her family. Weāve been spending some time at Natās Dads place right in the centre of town. Itās noisy on a Saturday night and by saying that I feel old. We went dancing the other night, which was pretty cool. Iām getting really excited about travelling over seas now. Itās not long at all now. Iāve got a few pennies saved. I have a few thousand Australian Dollars, 20 British Pounds, 20 New Zealand Dollars (I have no plans on visiting there but I like to be prepared and Gerard doesnāt like to pay be back in Australian currency) and 1 Canadian Dollar. To put this in perspective for future readers here are some common benchmarks. The Australian Dollar is worth about 0.80 US Dollars, about 0.60 Euros, bread costs about $1 for a 700g loaf, gold costs $820 per ounce, my one way plane ticket cost $1280, a 2007 Hyundia Getz 3 door auto costs $15,990 ($330 extra for metallic paint), and energy costs as of today are as follows,
PETROLEUM (US$/bbl)
Nymex Crude Future 65.87
Dated Brent Spot 68.42
WTI Cushing Spot 65.87
PETROLEUM (USĀ¢/gal)
Nymex Heating Oil Future 187.69
Nymex RBOB Gasoline Future 205.80
NATURAL GAS (US$/MMBtu)
Nymex Henry Hub Future 7.73
Henry Hub Spot 7.50
New York City Gate Spot 8.08
ELECTRICITY (US$/megawatt hour)
Mid-Columbia, firm on-peak, spot 19.36
Palo Verde, firm on-peak, spot 49.73
Bloomberg, firm on-peak, day ahead spot/West Coast 54.77
I Arrived in Perth.
# Chilling in MelbourneI just said goodbye to Ninny :ā( Thatās the last Iāll see of my family for a while. Iām off to Perth tomorrow then leaving for London on the 4th of April with my girlfriend Nathalie. I want to learn comedy in another language so I might be away for a while. It has been nice spending time with Ninny and Gerard before I go. Except Ninny took us out to a restaurant and failed to inform me that it was a vegetarian restaurant, so when I asked if the feta pasta salad had meat in it I was answered with a really slow āā¦ This is a vegetarian restaurantā
Iām having coffee with an army mate now, Ninny and Gerard are at a wedding.
# In MelbourneIām in Melbourne visiting Ninnyāo, my sister. Sheās got a little person growing inside her and she showed me a video of the creature :)
On tuesday Nath and I were ushers at Aleesha and Dylans wedding. Nath didnāt do much ushering but having him stand next to me made me look even prettier. After the cermony I drank and danced and was merry and served El on the dance floor. I triangle clicked El so hard I even felt sorry for her, for a little while at least. Off to Perth on Saturday then leaving for London on the 4th of April.
# Arrived in MelbourneI arrived in Melbourne
# I'm in NewcastleIāve left Sydney and am in Newcastle with my sister and new brother in law. My Dad drove me up. Iām no longer a postie and Iām excited about my travels. I donāt have to get up at 5 tomorrow so Iām quite happy. My going away party was on friday and Iāve had a few beers now so Iām a little tipsy. Iām also a little sad about leaving everyone. Iāll keep you in touch.
# Arrived in NewcastleI arrived in Newcastle
# Long time no blogWell itās been 2 months since my last blog and Iāve been busy busy busyā¦ and a little lazy with regards to blogging :( Work pre Christmas is quite full on when youāre a postie and I made an extra effort tricking my victims in to thinking Iām as friendly as Pat so they give me presents :) But my plan didnāt work :( All I got was a bottle of wine and some chocolates :( I deliver to a few hundred delivery points and only two people fell for my tricks :( So there will be lots of miss sorts this year :) Lesson learnt, being nice to people doesnāt pay off.
My sister became Sam Sampson on the 23rd of December when she married Aaron :) In the morning we had a family breakfast, I ate banana toast among other things, and for some reason we got presents from Sam and Aaron. Nathalie and I received a pink plastic play phone and a David Middlebrook art work. I liked the art work best. The ceremony was on Dudley Beach which worked really well for Bundy, he dug a hole during the vowels and got sand all over his doggy suit. Then we went to Sam and Aarons home for the reception. I had an awesome time drinking, swimming, chatting and burning up the dance floor with help from 4 months of lessons.
Iāll fill you in with more details in my next blog :)
# Greg goes for a drive and dancesOn Friday I travelled down to Canberra to see my brother and his fiancĆ©sā new place. I drove my dads van down and was paying the toll at the entrance to the Sydney harbour tunnel when a really annoying alarm went off. Some people in fluoro vests scrambled and then I saw a big truck speed past me. A sign above flashed over sized vehicle but the truck didnāt stop. I chased it in my van hoping to see some sparks and maybe a multi car pile up. To my disappointment nothing of the sort eventuated in the Sydney harbour tunnel :( It was alright though, when I arrived at the eastern distributor there was a multi car accident. The traffic was built up from all these nosey people having a look at an accident that had just occurred. So when I finally got to the smashed cars I made sure I had a good look to make up for all the waiting I had to do. There was a lady sitting in a car with a very odd scared look on her face. She still had her hands on the steering wheel but the car was facing the wrong way. There were another 5 cars parked in the tunnel all with their faces and bums punched in and lots of people trying to use their mobile phones to call the police.
My brothers place was nice. We played in his roof putting up a projector screen. There was fluffy yellow stuff in his roof that made me breathe funny. We went to the hardware store and bought face masks, we were well domestic, than the yellow stuff got in our eyes :( The projector screen looked really good in the end, weāre very smart.
I came across a little birdy on my way home. It was flying along but couldnāt outrun my dads van, it went flap flap thud and then there were feathers in my rear view mirror :) Stupid bird.
Nathalie and I went to the Ceroc Christmas party on Saturday night. It was lots of fun, we danced and blistered and were merry. They had a door prize raffle for which Nathalie had our tickets. She had paid as a student and thus had a purple ticket, C72, I had paid as an adult and thus had a black ticket, E50. I eagerly sat next to Nathalie looking at my ticket and getting more and more excited as more and more of the winning tickets details were read out. Blackā¦ Eā¦ 50ā¦ My eyes light up and I looked to Nathalie, but she was standing up with my ticket in her hand. She moved swiftly to the stage to pick up the present, a present that clearly belonged to me. People clapped and congratulated her :s Those claps and congratulations belonged to me not her! But it didnāt just end there, as we left she received even more misdirected praise. I donāt think Iāll take her dancing again.
# Junk mailersToday I came across a junk mail delivery fellow. We made pleasantries as we both stuffed papers into the a massive unit blocks mail boxes. On face value we were doing the same job but clearly not. I could see in his eyes that the pleasantries we made were only face value. I donāt understand why, he smelt like BO and didnāt even have a motorbike!
Auspost is giving us a nice BBQ set for Christmas :) I noticed that the set didnāt have a knife. I donāt think they trust 150 posties with knives after a long pre Christmas work day.
# BabeI had an exciting weekend :) My Australia Post Christmas party on Friday at the Styne, Dylan and Aleeshaās engagement party in Newie on Saturday, and then push bike riding around city on Sunday with Nathalie. The postie party had a $3000 beer tab so to get my quota I got in early. With all this sudden confidence I asked an older Italian postie for a dance. We danced until she got blisters and we had a wonderful time. Then when I saw her today she called me babe, my little Italian sugar mummy :)
It was nice to see all my Newie friends on Saturday. I hadnāt seen them for 3 months so I got a little over excited as I sometimes do and annoyed Dylan :( Nathalie didnāt come with me, I told everyone it was because she was having her period but even if God hadnāt punished her sex for that whole forbidden fruit mishap she still couldnāt have made it because she was at my Samanthaās hens night. I picked her up that night after driving back to Sydney being the good boyfriend that I am. She was a little drunk and we got a little intimate until she told me what Aaronās (my sisters fiancĆ©) favourite sex position was :s Something that sheād learnt about my sister in a quiz. I got into the foetal position and went to sleep with my eyes open.
On Sunday Nathalie and I went to the city by ferry. We rode around for a while and then she tricked me into playing shopping. 3 hours later and Iād bought her a dress :(
# My new toyItās been a week since I last blogged and here is what Iāve learnt since my last blog;
1) Donāt over load your postie bike or youāll get death wobbles when you go over 80.
2) When you buy a postie bike at the auctions they put an extra 15% for a trading fee and $2.50 for using eftpos.
3) My dad is getting married again.
&
4) Learnt that I laugh in my sleep.
I had to drive all the way to Bankstown to pick up the postie I won at auction. Iām still deciding what to call my new baby. I was thinking of calling it cat and painting it black and white. I used my Dadās van to pick it up but it doesnāt have any strapping points so I broke a few things trying to tie it down :( My new toy needs a mirrors and a brake leaver before I can get it registered. I think my bike at work might have a few things go missing :) Maybe a whole bike :) I hope no one at my work reads my blog. And if you do, youāre an accessory for doing so.
# My new beatI pasted my test yesterday :) I sorted my little heart out, then figured out I was a little behind, then fudged the results so I passed! Brilliant! Now that Iāve passed I will be an official postie in 2 weeks, uniform and all. Passing the test meant that I could get a transfer to a new beat so yesterday was also my last day delivering Pamās mail. I was a bit nostalgic. Iāll miss the old man at the nursing home that asks me if I have any love letters for him, I never figured out if he was cracking on to me or not. Iāll assume he was. I wonāt miss the smell of the nursing home though, it was a mix of hospital, old people, and colostomy bags. And my old beat had lots of apartment blocks on it too which was annoying, especially when I had to deliver junk mail about solar heating. It was kind of rubbing into people that lived in units that firstly they canāt afford a place with a pool, and secondly, even if they could they wouldnāt be able to afford to heat it. But thatās all over because Iām on a new beat :)
My new beat is mainly businesses which means I get to talk to lots of people. There are still dogs on my beat and theyāre a lot nicer then the dogs on my old beat. They donāt even try to bit me. On my new beat I get to deliver to a brothel š When I was told this I imagined a Moulin Rouge style burlesque house with music and dancers and a pre World War II German host wearing scanty outfits and surrounded my women in corsets but I was very disappointed to discover that the brothel was nothing more than a purple door with off street parking :( I did the community thing and talked to all the people on my new beat and they were very nice to me, I think itās important to stay on the good side of the postie if you donāt want crumpled mail. One gentleman even invited me to help my self to his freshly squeezed orange juice on hot days. My new beat does mean 0530 starts but the up side of that is 1200 finishes, so now Iāve got lots of time to update my Blog! :)
# Postie MafiaToday the fellow from the front tyre place at 14 Roger street came out to see me. Weād had a little altercation a few days earlier. This altercation was because at 14 Roger street there are 3 businesses, the brothel and two tyre shops. The mail going for the brothel is addressed to 14a but the two tyre places are both just addressed to 14, so understandably I get them confused. The fellow from the front tyre place had threatened to āthrow their (the rear tyre placesā) mail into the street if he gets it again.ā He went on to tell me that the rear tyre place is competition and the he doesnāt want anything to do with them but he doesnāt mind giving the brothel their mail :) I didnāt really care and I didnāt want to get involved in his petty little neighbourly feud so I smiled and said āOK, Iāll fix it.ā Then today when he came out he had changed his tune, he was very apologetic and said āI havenāt received any mail for the last 3 days.ā Apparently all his mail had being going to the rear tyre place. I think he learnt his lesson, donāt get on the bad side of your postie.
# Greg the exposerI wore my tanning shorts to work today. It had being a hot weekend and I was keen to get my legs ready for the impeding summer. I spent a few hours sorting and by the time I was ready to get out on my bike the rain clouds had gathered and a gale was blowing :( No tanning for me I thought. So I put on rain bright yellow jacket and wet delivering. The rain jacket they gave me is a walkers rain jacket so it goes down to past my knees. This looks alright when Iām wearing my matching bright yellow pants but because I was in shorts and the material isnāt the nicest I decided to leave them off. So with my super short tanning shorts and bright yellow knee length jacket I looked quite suspicious, a little like a bright yellow streaker. A seemingly naked Greg wearing only a bright yellow jacket and boots ready to show off little Greg to unsuspecting old ladies at the bus stop outside Bridge Real Estate in Brookvale at 4:15pm last Wednesday. About an hour into my beat the Sun decided to show its face again. So off came the jacket to give my tanning shorts a work out. Because it had being such bad weather at the beginning of the day I hadnāt put any sunscreen on so my tan was very British :(
At work Iāve become known as the guy with the funny shirts, so much so that people donāt comment when I wear funny shirts, instead they comment when I donāt wear funny shirts. Iām cool with that title, āthe guy with the funny shirtsā itās better then the guy who always wears a vest, they call him āvestyā. I have a jumper that has Indiana on it. Itās really annoying because when ever I wear it people talk to me about their experience in Indiana or their third cousin who once went there. I need to find a jumper with a less known state on it :(
# Art impersonating life impersonating artThe other day I discovered that male brains donāt stop maturing until 25. This made me feel so much better. Now Iāve got an excuse for the next year and a half! Iām still saving up all my money for a trip overseas. A fellow called me the other day regarding a message I left on a forum. He has a ship in Australia and he needs crew for a trip to India! Heāll be leaving early next year so if I can get a berth on that ship Iāll be off :)
I went to Chrisās last night for his birthday party. They have renovated a lot of their house and I noticed that in the corner of their new toilet they had a replica of Kazimir Malevichās, White on white, a suprematist composition. I was very impressed that one, they had this piece of art work and were brave enough to make such a bold statement about suprematism by placing it in their toilet, and two that Iād remembered something from my art modernism 1010 course. I told Chrisās mum that I liked the ark work in the toilet. She said āthe photo?ā I replied āno, that Russian one in the corner.ā She looked at me with a confused look and then she told me to open it, thatās when I discovered that it was an electrical box :( I felt a little dumb. I took a photo of it so I can prove that they look very similar.
I spent the weekend cleaning my room and getting Nathalieās room ready and then did the domestic thing for my mum. Put together some benches, went shopping, and then I re tiled some of the back yard. Now my weekend is nearly over but itās alright, Iāll get to see Michael tomorrow. Heās the fellow that hooked up my part time job. Heās got pretty eyes and me lets me call him Mike š
# A lot about nothing muchYesterday I finished at 4:30pm :s so I didnāt get drunk for the Melbourne Cup. Instead I listened to the race on a radio with the secretary of Rent-a-Space, which wasnāt as good. You see, a lot of posties get sick on Melbourne Cup day which means the posties that arenāt āsickā have to do more work, those jack pricks :( Posties also get sick on rainy days. Itās not all bad, I do get paid for the extra work and I am saving for travel.
Today I had to do the beat on my own. For the last couple of days Iāve had a friend who knows the beat showing me around but because of staffing problems they had to take him away from me. Itās not all bad though, he was a little annoying. He had a western medicine approach to hygiene. By that I mean, he reeked of deodorant and used lots of breathe mints. I could smell him when I was riding behind him. I also discovered the wonders of pod casted radio shows. Iād being feeling a little brain dead sorting the mail for 4 hours a day so I downloaded heaps of ABC pod casts onto it and listened to that all day. Itās brilliant, I learned heaps of interesting thing, like the European Space Agency sent a space craft to the moon using an ion engine. It took 18 months to get there and crashed into the surface but apparently itās some sort of break though in engine propulsion. They did it in 3 days in the 60ās, thatās if they went there at allā¦ dun dun.
For my new beat they gave me a new bike and this oneās name is Sue (I named her). Sheās faster and newer than Bert was but I still miss him. She gets me in trouble sometimes. I use the throttle to reverse down slops but sometimes Sue stalls which disengages the centrifugal clutch thus making me roll backwards quickly. This is a problem because my front brake doesnāt work when all the weight is on the rear wheel and struggle to use my back brake because Iām using both feet to balance my self. Naughty naughty Sue. I still see Bert though. When I come back from delivering I see him and notice that he hasnāt gone out yet. That makes me feel good knowing that the new fellow that theyāve put on my old beat is going through what I was going through. I was talking to my sister Sam and she told me that Auspost is one of the worlds worst employers. She saw it on Today Tonight!
I went for a swim after work with my Dad. The lady at the front desk of the pool seemed happy today, normally sheās a grumpy pants. Maybe sheās got inverted PMS? Because I finished a little late those damn kids were already at the pool for their after school swimming lessons which means that there is only a few lanes for doing laps. I jumped into an empty lane, did a warm up 100m, started stretching when this chubby middle aged lady jumps in the lane with me. She gets right into it and starts going at the water like a crazy cat lady, but sheās not getting anywhere. So I had an excuse not to try and beat my 1Km time :) My dad takes to long to get changed so to punish by turning the cold water on in the shower so when the money runs out on the coin timer he is hit with a burst of just cold water, mahahaha. I donāt think it makes him any faster but it makes me laugh to hear his squeal.
Iām going to have a little sleep before I go dancing tonight, Yay! It wonāt be long until Iām going dancing with Nathalie. She wantās to learn the salsa so thatāll be fun to do something different. Itās under a week till she moves in with me :s Iāll have to have a boys night this weekend š
# Toilet TennisI brought my new MP3 player to work today and listened to it while I sorted. It really helped me sort faster until Moby came on, then I just drifted into this euphoric trance and spaced out for a while. Cyndi Lauper snapped me out of it but then I found myself dancing, so a happy medium was The Pet Shop Boys :) When I get bored I go to the toilet. There are two good toilets, one has the newspaper in it but Iām only game enough to read the first page for hygiene reasons, the second one has toilet tennis. Itās a simple game, on the cubic door someone has written ālook leftā on the left wall someone has written ālook rightā and on the right wall someone has written ālook leftā. I stay in there until my neck hurts.
I delivered a registered letter to this funky business on my beat today. It was one of those new age businesses, open plan, lots of new computers, and whose purpose I was unsure. There were 4 people in the office, 3 behind computers talking to each other and a forth standing in the middle of the office playing with a yoyo. I asked someone to sign for the letter and the closest person to me with the person with the yoyo, but he didnāt have time to sign the letter, he was the yoyo guy. Instead one of the people talking about eBay came across the room and signed for the letter. It looked like a successful business and they only had one yoyo guy, I wonder how a business with 2 yoyo guys would go? I might send them my resumĆ©.
After work I went for a swim with my dad. I cut my best time for 1km by 10 seconds. I wonāt tell you the actually time because I donāt want you to laugh at me. There was a young mother looking after her children by the side of the pool and as I was getting out of the pool, looking as buff as I ever do in my budgie smugglers, I caught her copping a look at my package. He was pressed up against the fabric because I hadnāt had time to readjust and he wasnāt at full potential :( Iāll have to fluff before I get out of the pool from now on. I hope the mothers donāt see me doing it, I donāt think theyāll be happy with me fluffing myself in the same pool that their children are swimming in.
# Football and milkshakesMy brother came up for the weekend so we went to a party on Friday night. We wanted to try something new so instead of our usual Toohyes Old we decided on some wog juice, some Italian beer whoās name looked like a type of sausage. At the party I decided to do the cooking. Being a vegetarian I was not distracted by taste in my cooking, and for this reason I seasoned a couple of the steaks with plenty of spices :) Then on Saturday I got myself one of those new wizz bang MP3 players. It came with a carry bag that could fit 4 of them. After playing with my new toy for a few hours Tim came round and we decided to go play mini golf. When we got there Tim pointed out that it was raining, a fact that had been apparent to us long before we arrived and for this reason he ruled out mini golf as a Saturday night activity :( I was quite disappointed, it was pirate mini golf :( So we went and got milk shakes and watched some football. Weāre very manly :)
# Postie bikes need petrolPutt putt burrā¦ and then my bike wouldnāt go anymore :( I looked in the petrol tank and there wasnāt any of that bad tasting water in there :( Iād turned the fuel switch to reserve earlier on my beat and I forgot about it so putt putt burr. I put the choke on full to get the last bit of fuel out of the lines which got me a few hundred metres but by the time she putt putt burred for the last time I was still half a click from the petrol station. So push push push and sweat sweat sweat and I was home sweet :) I donāt think Iāll forget fuel any time soon.
Tomorrow Iāve got my big 9 week postie test. If I donāt sort my mail fast enough I donāt get offered a full time job :( The funny thing is they donāt do an accuracy check š so itāll be sort sort sort, until I find my self lagging, then itāll be stuff stuff stuff and Pam from Campbell Parade will be reading Sue from Gordon Streetās mail :) But it doesnāt matter, Pamās nosey and Sue has dementia and lives in an old folks home.
# The BallThe Masquerade Ball went really well last night. I preformed the routine Iād being practicing for 2 months in front of about 600 people. It was such a thrill, and I didnāt even drop Connie! It was awesome dancing in front of all those people. After my performance I danced until my legs hurt then drunk $3 schooners to numb the pain. Getting home was a little bit of a challenge though, being that the UNSW is on the other side of the city. But 2 hours, 2 busses and a taxi later I was home in my warm bed :)
# My biggest yet! Greg Vs Auspost ;)Iāve had a few little spills on my postie but on Friday I had my best one yet! I wanted to get home a little early, it was a Friday and Iād had a long week and I could see the storm clouds gathering in the south. I had a dead ride to my next delivery point (a short distance where you donāt deliver any mail) and it had just started to rain. Iāve being getting a little confident on my little postie and when I raced right at a roundabout my tyres didnāt stick on the slightly wet road and the bike came away from beneath me :( It was quite embarrassing, there were lots of people around and a fellow in a mercedes stopped all the traffic while I picked my bike up and moved it off the road. I hurt my right leg and my palms :(
Australia Post expect a lot of over time from me. It says in the contract which they quoted when I asked to work rostered hours āYou are expected to work a reasonable amount of overtimeā. To me, a reasonable amount is none :) What monkey puts such an ambiguous statement in a legal contract. I asked my team leader about working rostered hours so he asked the big bosses. He came back with the answer āno, no you canātā. So the next day I decided to be a little more forceful and asked if I could speak to the big bosses. It was Greg verse Auspost. When I went and spoke to them they were actually quite understanding, I was a little disappointed, Iād come up with a whole string of insults to use. I guess Iāll have to find someone small to insult, maybe a childā¦ one without an older brother, or parents, yeah, Iāll insult her good. So the out come of the little meeting was the possibility of working part time. Iād be very happy working part time, thatād give me more time to devote to my web site š and a few other projects that Iām interested in starting up. Maybe I could sell insultsā¦ home delivered, like flowers but they make people cry.
# Dancing and JohnnyāFreedom of expression online is a right, not a privilege - but itās a right that needs defending,ā said Steve Ballinger of Amnesty International. āWeāre asking bloggers worldwide to show their solidarity with web users in countries where they can face jail just for criticising the government.ā
I think Iāll do my part :) Johnny is a Dick!
Iām nervous, Iāve got my ball tonight : Iāll be performing my routine in front of 600 people. Thatās 1200 eyeās. Well from my research approximately 3% of the population are blind or visually impaired which makes me feel a little better, that would bring it down to 1164 eyes but Iām not sure why blind people would come to watch a dance routine. I hope I donāt trip Connie (my dance partner) over during it :( There will be a DVD so I can show anyone interested.
# Scared little girls, art, and ChinaOn my round today I came across a little girl standing next to a letter box. I rode up to her to give her the mail and maybe I was going a little fast but she cowered as I beard down on her. It made me feel like God, I fed on her fear, is that sick? Once I stopped she moved her hands away from her face and smiled. I gave her the mail and she then she decided to tell me all about her living arrangements. She was a little chubby so I didnāt believe her.
My dad bought me an art work from China (He went there to see his fiancĆ©e, heās going for number 3). Itās a hologram of a dog wearing glasses in a frame. I donāt really like it as the description my allude :( He doesnāt know me very well and I think art is quite personal. I think Iāll eBay it, am I a bad person? He offered to buy me some clothes. I quickly told him no thank you.
I found out today that when I get on my new beat Iāll be rostered to finish at 10:30 4 days a week š YAY for me. Plus itās a business beat so when Christmas comes round there will be hardly any mail so Iāll be able to finish very early and still get paid for my rostered hours :) Genius!
# why are you stealing my letters Mr postie, why?I like it when people come out to collect their mail, they say the joke āI hope youāre not giving me bills postieā in its various forms and I laugh hysterically. Sometimes though, I pull up at a house, they walk over, they tell me their version of the joke, I laugh hysterically, then when I look in my little pouch I find that Iāve miss sorted a letter (itās not for the house that Iām in front of, like Iāve gotten the street name wrong or something) so I have to quickly put it in the side pocket of the bike. When they see this they look at me and their eyes say āwhy are you stealing my letters Mr postie, why?ā to which I reply ābyeā and speed away.
Some letters say do not bend but the day I let a stupid letter tell me what to do is probably the day Iām being simonised to court for indecent exposure. Some letters make it part of their design, it looks good but I canāt see it so when I do happen to notice it I ignore it out of principle. The other day I had a letter from Sweden that I had to feed into a really little letter box. It was quite stiff and bending it was really hard until I heard a snap sound, then it bend really easily. I think it was a CD, probably Viking songs.
I told my team leader that Iām not going to work any more over time from next week onwards. It had been a while since I last attempted to stop working over time. The close to 50 hour weeks are killing me. So I says to Marty I says āIām not working any more over time from next Monday onwards.ā He says to me he says āIāll see what I can do but itās part of the job, if youāre not going to do the over time they might just say no.ā Auspost is having a few issues with recruitment, I know this, they know this so I call his bluff. I look him in the eyes and says to him āThatās alright.ā Anyway, to cut a long story that is surely going to have a lot more āsaysā in it I won. They are going to have me on a part time beat by next Thursday. Part time means 26 hours a week plus over time which Iām really happy with. It does mean a 5:30am start but that means I finish at 11am and also I get 15% loading for having to get up at such a crazy hour. This means Iāll have a lot more time to do things like update my blog, watch day time TV, or download porn!
# Scary TeddyWhile I was playing postie today I came across a cute doggie. He was chocolate brown with a woolly coat that covered everything but his dark indented eyes. He waged his tail at me and barked āhelloā. I thought to myself, what a cute woolly doggie, just like a living teddy bearā¦ but I was wrong. As soon as Iād finished feeding his letter box and was turning around to leave he came. And that cute teddy bear was gone, in its place was one pissed off grizzly bear showing its teeth, growling, and trying to bite my legs. I gave my postie all it had which wasnāt much due to the fact that Auspost wonāt splash out and buy us R1 postie bikes :( and I managed to get away unscathed and with a valuable lesson learnt, the dog at 147 Campbell Pde is a cute bastard.
Iām going to 4 weddings in the next year and Iāll be taking Nathalie to all of them. I hope she doesnāt get any ideas. The next one Iām going to is my neighbours. Heās a charming fellow and as a wedding present he only wantās money for his honeymoon. I like it because itās easy but it doesnāt allow me to stand out from the crowd. So my plan is to get him money in the currency of the country he is visiting on his honeymoon. This is good for two reasons. Firstly it makes me look good, I still give him what he wants but I do it in a personal way. And secondly if he is travelling to a country that has a poor exchange rate Iāll be able to give him thousands of said currency!
I am worried about taking Nathalie to so many weddings. Iāll just make sure I cork her leg before she goes anywhere near the bouquet. Maybe itād be easier to just break her leg. Iāll make it look like an accident. I hope she doesnāt read my Blog.
# Greg and the LesbianI riding my little postie to the first delivery point of my beat, going down the windy Alambie road when this car started tail gating me. I slowed down to try and let the naughty little car that I wasnāt comfortable riding a push bike with a motor down a windy road with a car 4 meters behind me. This didnāt work. A few bends later she decided that sheād had enough and over took on a curve with double white lines. I had to swerve to not get hit. This wouldnāt have been a funny accident :( She sped off down the road. A little further down the road I met her again in traffic. I pulled up next to her to discuss what her game was. She was an angry lesbian who mustnāt have liked mail men. I could tell she was lesbian because she wasnāt trying to pick me upā¦ and she had a gay pride flag on the back of her car. I donāt know why she was so angry at me, I love lesbians, I support their industry, I love their movies but she didnāt look like the ones on the internet, not at all and thatās probably why she didnāt like me. We played āIām annoyedā hand signals for a while and then I rode in front of her. She replied to this by moving slowly up to my bike with her bumper bar, which I didnāt really care about, her car was quite a bit nicer than my postie.
That wasnāt even the best part of my day. I was sorting my mail when I came across a miss sorted letter that was meant to go to Parliament House. What could this letter? Maybe it was a letter from Jesus? But alas, it wasnāt, it was just some stupid letter complaining about a bill thatās being passed through the senate. So with a little bit of sticky tape the letter was back on its travels to the countries capital.
# My jaw isn't distinctive.As a postie Iāve bumped into a couple of old school mate who just look blankly at me while I ask in depth questions about their lives. Daniel Howitt from high school has apparently done ānot muchā when I asked what heās being up too. I havenāt seen him for 7 years, Iām pretty sure heās done something in those 7 years, I know heās cut his hair in those 7 years, if he hadnāt heād look like a hippie. After my little discussion with Daniel about his life I went back to my bike and looked at myself in the mirror, had I really changed that much since high school, that was when I discovered that yes, yes I had, because in high school I didnāt wear a helmet and sunnies, I didnāt go to one of those high schools.
My dad is coming home from China tomorrow and now that Iāve sold my bike I no longer have any mode of transport. Iām a slave to my legs, my bike and public transport. I didnāt really think that one through. But Iāll get a postie soon, then Iāll be mobile again!
I had my 5 week test at work today. I failed :( I needed to sort 16 letters per minute but only managed 12.9 letters per minute. Damn letters, they just keep coming and coming. Maybe if I put all the letters in the river people will stop sending them and I can just go to work and play games, like toilet tennis. Iāve got another test at week 9 :(
# Accident II and Greg vs North Korean SanctionsI fell off my bike again today but this one didnāt hurt as much because it was on grass, Iām cleaver like that. I was trying to skid sideways down a slope. This time the mail didnāt go everywhere and no one saw. The guy from Prison Break had pretty eyes.
I visited North Koreaās official web site and signed up as a member of the Korean Friendship Association. āDefend the Democratic Republic of Korea!!ā was their slogan. I think they need all the help then can get when their most powerful weapon is less than one kiloton and then only have the material to make 6 of them. Russia had a 100 megaton nuclear bomb, now that would ruin your day. On the official web site of North Korea they have merchandise that you can buy, I would have thought that North Korea being the socialist country they are they would have giving it too me if I needed it but capitalism has spread, they actually have capitalist parts of North Korea so my research tells me and there are a growing amount of farmers markets which bypass the rations system, but anyway, there are a few things I want to buy but because of the new sanctions on North Korea Iām not sure if theyād get here. One of the clauses of the sanctions bans sale of luxury goods. Do you suppose that a KFA Badge would count as a luxury good? Itās only 15 EUR but it is pretty shinny :( Maybe Iāll go for the Propaganda Poster āKPA Soldiersā they look too serious for it to be a luxury good.
# Playing ArmySo I sold my bike :( Iām going to miss her. Her new owners renamed her too :( now sheās called Ashleigh. Her new owners look like theyāll have fun with her but we were together for 3 years. On the up side Iāve now got enough money for my plane ticket to Europe. I hope she forgives meā¦
Last night I went out with the army boys. Liam OāRielly is leaving to play army with the full timers. Heāll get to shoot stuff full time. YAY! I had a good night, drunk, danced, went to town, break danced, bruised, drunk, danced some more, went back to base, climbed gate, figured out gate wasnāt locked, locked gate to make the people coming home after us have to climb the gate too, slept. So now Iām a little hung over but itās alright, my mum just asked me if I wanted any thing for breakfast so I ordered her to make me eggs benedict.
# Greg vs parked cars and old ladiesToday it reached a billion degrees Celsius so to combat this extreme heat I had a quick drink at the bowling club I deliver to. Even with this break and subsequent breaks later on I still managed to finish 10 minutes earlier I was suppose too. Yay for me. There were a few problems along the way though. Firstly a parked car hit me, or something like that, I was frustrated at it because it was parked in front of a letter box I needed to feed. So I when I turned around to get passed it my front wheel hit the cars front bumper bar. It didnāt really matter, this particular car had obviously had a few altercations with other things. Something before my tyre had punched it in the face, and I assume with as good cause. So after my little fight with Mr Car I continued on my way. Only a few houses later I came across an old lady sitting in the middle of the foot path that I needed to ride on. So I beeped my little horn to no avail :( I had two choices, run over her, or go around her. I took the later as I didnāt want to get charged with murder. I think I may have scared her as I went past, she may have had a heart attack from the fright, who knows? Well Iāll see if sheās still lying there on Monday. If she is sheās going to get such a stick poking.
When I got home, early :) , I received a phone call about my bike. I placed an ad on a notice board at Hart, (Honda something Road something, where you go to get your bike licence) about a month a go. I wasnāt really that proactive in selling her and thus itās taken a month to get a phone call. So Rebecca is coming around after 6 to see my little baby. Iāll be sad to see her go but Iāll be happy to see her changed into money. I think Iāll get my self a postie. Then I can deliver mail on weekends.
# Greg Vs Biscuit and North KoreaI was riding along today, feeding all the letter boxes when biscuit the dog snuck up on me and tried to scare me. Me being the big burly postman I am, was unscathed by the whole ordeal. But biscuit got in lots of trouble. Me and biscuit donāt see eye to eye about postal matters. Heās made it quite clear that he doesnāt believe in the need for a postal service and seeās any attempt to deliver mail to his property as an encroachment on his territory. I on the other hand feel that the mail system is a vital part of our society, necessary for communications. Things got worse the other day when I got him in trouble. He doesnāt seem to like the noise of the engine and I like getting him all riled up. Everything was all fun and games until his owner came out and gave him a good telling off. So I think he may be holding a grudge against me from that incident.
For the first time today I did my beat all by myself. No one holding my hand any more. It took me half an hour longer than it should have but I had a few breaks, it was hot.
So North Korea has the bomb eh? And old George isnāt happy. I feel safe knowing that their best missiles donāt have the range to get me, or for that matter anything in the southern hemisphere. This means that nuclear winds wouldnāt hit us for a while which will give me time to go out and buy a dust mask. And anyway, it doesnāt really matter, I donāt want to live in North Korea, I looked at Pyongyang on Google Earth and it looks very brown.
# Work, Pool, DanceI saw a very funny letter today, just one of the perks. It was a pink letter addressed to āthe Gay Familyā. Iām assuming the person who wrote the letter didnāt like this particular family :) There are a few familyās with funny last names, like the Cockburnās, the Frogottās, the Mavtronicās. I saw Pam today, sheās an old lady on my beat, about 60 years old, and she doesnāt like it when I ride on her lawn. In fact she is so against me riding on her lawn she put some rope there to stop me. Iāve had people try this kind of game on me before and I just ride on through it. The powerful CT110 normally gets me though. But Pam always says hello to me so I think Iāll destroy her lawn under the cover of darkness. Itās the school holidays so there are lots of little brats around. They ask me for rubber bands and tell me itās so they can tie their hair back. The strange thing is, they have short hair. I oblige anyway and tell them that Iāll meet them at the skate park later to show them what tricks I can do on my postie. I hope they wait a while. Iām getting quite good at riding the little postie. Iāve got it clear off the ground a couple of times, and Iāve got these monoās down pat. Iām now focusing on trying to perfect my side saddle queen waves.
After work I went for a swim. They have opened the out side pool so I got a tan and got fit. The water tasted a little odd though. Iām not sure if itās because it hasnāt been contaminated with urine yet or if they just havenāt put enough chlorine in. Itās probably the urine because it was 4 degreeās colder then the inside pool.
I went dancing tonight with my mum, Iām so cool. But tonight I met my friend Tina there. So now Iāve got a dance buddy that didnāt give birth to me. YAY! She did however try to trick me into using the wrong hand for one of the moves but I clued on before I made too much of a fool of my self. There were lots of young people there tonight, so young in fact I would be able to call them wiper snappers. Lotās of new people is good but they didnāt want to dance with the Gregster, so cry cry.
# Hungry hungry letter box!The letters boxes were hungry yesterday! I worked from 0630 to 1820 :( I was as you might imagine a little tired so I decided to leave my blogging for today. I need more doggie biscuits to pay off the doggie mafia.
Today however was a little easier. When I got to work I was pleased to see only a smallish pile of letters that Iād be feeding to the letter boxes today. But to my disappointment some of those naughty letter boxes had already eaten! Theyād filled up on junk mail which made my job a lot harder. I smacked them, pulled out their naughty snacks and filled their mouths with some bills.
There were quite a few large letters that said ādo not foldā But Iām a naughty postie and sometimes I do want to let some stupid letter tell me what to do, so when on one is looking I bend and fold to my hearts content. There are some letters that are all stylish and as part of the design have ādo not foldā on them. But because itās part of the design and the fact that they have heaps of information on these envelops I sometimes miss it, or I do see it and donāt care out of principle. I deliver a lot to unit blocks and they have very little mouths so they canāt eat ādo not foldsā. I normally donāt care and I shove them in their little mouths, but the other day I had a letter for some preppie private school, for that reason I went to all the trouble to write the occupant out a little slip that informed them to pick up their parcel from the post office, dare there magazine about antique cars get bent. Iām sure someone that rich has the time to venture all the way down to the post office which is open until the late hour of 5, to collect their āparcelā for lack of a better box to tick. Power to the people, or just those that canāt afford antique cars :(
Iām on a bus returning from practicing my dance routine with my dance partner Connie. Weāre getting along quite nicely. London Ballet company will be knocking at my door shortly. Iām sitting in the wheelchair access seats at the from of the bus. Iām not really sure why people in wheelchairs need seats but Iām not going to get into a fight with a person in a wheelchair, they might win and then Iād look like a bad person. Iām driving over the spit bridge, I used to think it was called the split bridge which made more sense to me as a little tacker. There are some fancy pants restaurants here and wisely enough they have left out the name of their area in their names. Orsos etc, because I donāt think that Iād visit a restaurant with the word spit in its title. On that note, donāt try the Mc Spit, itās got nothing to do with the area.
Well Iām nearly at my destination. I am planning on doing some web cam comedy soon so Iāll keep you all posted.
# I'm sickIām at home today playing sick :( Today is the busiest mail day of the year because itās a long weekend and October is generally the busiest month because of stupid rich people with their share reports. So I went to work and I was sick :( so I came home and with all my spare time between sleeping and watching tacky day time TV I fixed up my site and added this Blog.
# All about phlegmSo Iāve been doing some research. Iāve been told not to drink milk products because they cause phlegm and thus makes you sick. I wasnāt sure if I agreed with that logic so I decided to do some research. So on DMT123.com health question and answer, I found some interesting information on phlegm.
āPhlegm is actually an expelled blob of mucus produced by respiratory tract lining cells, infection causing organisms and immune wastes. Phlegm is not always green, it could be in all shades of green-yellow and also white. In fact the colour of phlegm is the first indicator of what kind of infection you have. If the infection is bacterial, it is in the shades of greenish yellow, if the infection is viral, it is white to cream. This is a broad indicator before a phlegm analysis confirms.ā
So your body produces phlegm to expel immune waste and thus it is important for your body to produce phlegm and for your body to expel this immune waste. A little more research reviled that an easy way to expel this phlegm with steam. Steam loosen up the phlegm and makes it easier to expel, this is why you cough more when you have a hot shower.
But anyway, back to my first point, is milk bad for you when you have a cough. I did a little more research and came across some conflicting information. There is a lot of very subjective anti milk and pro milk web site both contradicting each other. There isnāt much objective information on the internet regarding milks effect on phlegm production. If milk does increase the production of phlegm when you have a cough it isnāt necessarily a bad thing. It is an immune reaction, a symptom and not a cause of illness. It helps you get better quicker, so even if it does cause phlegm production itās not bad for you.
Well now that Iāve justified drinking milk to myself I will have a big glass of chocolate milk :) If nothing else Iāll enjoy it!
# Still still sick :(So I decided to give work a go today. It wasnāt a good idea. I was well sick and I didnāt have a fun day :( I did however get to befriend some dogs. Theyāre all mean to me but as soon as I feed them theyāre mine for the taking, stupid mortal hounds. I went to the doctors and got another day off so youāve got a very interesting blog entry to look forward to tomorrow.
# Still sickIām still sick :( I need sympathyā¦ I bought natural yogurt. I thought Iād be healthy, get some good cultures while Iām taking antibiotics. I figured natural yogurt would be really nice but no, no it isnāt. It doesnāt have any sugar in it :( itās so plan and boring. Itās just milk and cultures. Who came up with that? Itās ridiculous!
Someone from the spastic centre called me about a fund raising event. He asked me in a really cheerful voice if I wanted to donate, when I said no he sounded really disappointed. Am I a bad person?
My mum has gone away and Molly, my dog, is so annoying. I think sheās really sad. Maybe I should smack her.
# No bike ride :(On the weekend I was going to be involved in a 24 hour mountain bike race with the Army. A team of 6 have 24 hours to ride as many laps as possible. But I just received a phone call from my Sgt that weāre not going any more :,( Stupid unorganised army.
# I've got a blog!Itās about time but now Iāve got a Blog to keep you all up to date with everything that is going in the world of Greg. YAY!
# Toast RiderShowing off my mad motor bike skills
# Pocket BikeShowing off my mad motor pocket bike skills
# BornToday I was born. Waaaaaa!