The largest list of menstruation euphemisms

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A

  • All anal sex week
  • All over
  • Arts and crafts week at Panty Camp
  • At high tide
  • Aunt Dot
  • Aunt Flo(w)’s in town
  • Aunt Rose visiting
  • Aunt Ruby

B

  • Barbequed chicken
  • Bitchy witchy week
  • Bleedies
  • Blobbing
  • Blobs, The
  • Bloody Mary
  • Blow job week
  • Bodily functions

C

  • Calendar days
  • Charlie popped out of the bush and I need allies
  • Checking into the Red Roof Inn
  • Clean-up on aisle one
  • Clogging molly
  • Closed for business
  • Closed for maintenance
  • Closed shop
  • Code red
  • Communists in the Summer House
  • Condensation
  • Cousin Claudia
  • Cousin Tom (Time Of the Month)
  • Crimson curse, The
  • Crimson tide, The
  • Crimson wave, The
  • Curse, The

D

  • Dam has burst, The
  • Dark week, The
  • Dead week
  • Dishonorable discharge from the Uterine Navy
  • Dracula’s tea bag
  • Dropping clots

E

  • End of sentence
  • Executive week

F

  • Falling to the communists
  • Flying the red flag
  • Friend from the Red Sea

G

  • Game Day for the crimson tide
  • Gift, The
  • Girl time
  • Got the thingies

H

  • Hammock season
  • Happy Fun Time
  • Having the painters in
  • Horny
  • Hummer week
  • Hunt for Red October, The

I

  • In season

J

K

  • Kitty has a nosebleed, The

L

  • Lady days
  • Lady in the red dress
  • Leak week
  • Leaky basement
  • Lining the drawers
  • Little enemy
  • Little ketchup with my steak, A
  • Little Red Riding Hood (in the woods)

M

  • Massacre at the beef curtain
  • Massacre at the Y
  • Menopause
  • Misery
  • Misery, The
  • Miss Scarlett’s come home to Tara
  • Monkey has a nosebleed, The
  • Monthies
  • Monthlies
  • Monthly bill
  • Monthly bloodpool
  • Monthly curse
  • Monthly evacuations
  • Monthly time
  • Monthly trouble
  • Monthly visitor
  • Moody monthly
  • Moon time
  • Moses parting the Red Sea
  • Mother nature’s curse
  • Mother Nature’s gift
  • Mucking out
  • Mudslide in Crotch Canyon
  • My cup of joy is overflowing
  • My Friends
  • My little friend came to visit
  • My red-headed cousin from down south
  • My red-headed cousin from Virginia
  • My steak is raw

N

  • Nosebleed in Australia
  • Nuisance, The

O

  • Oil change
  • On the blob
  • On the rag
  • Ordering l’Omelette Rouge
  • Out of commission
  • Out of order

P

  • Pad straddling
  • Painters are in, The
  • Panty line
  • Panty painting
  • Panty shields up, Captain!
  • Periodical
  • Pink Light
  • Planting cotton
  • Playground’s muddy, The
  • Playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote’s Ragtime Band

Q

  • Quiff cry

R

  • Rag, The
  • Ragtime
  • Raining down South
  • Raising the Japanese flag
  • Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System
  • Red Beard’s toothpaste
  • Red dollar days
  • Red flag is up, The
  • Red letter day
  • Red light district
  • Red moon rising
  • Red ribbon week
  • Red rider’s revenge
  • Red river blues
  • Red scare, The
  • Red snow, The
  • Red Sox are in town
  • Red special
  • Red thread in the sowing machine
  • Red wings
  • Red witch
  • Riding the cotton bicycle
  • Riding the cotton cowboy
  • Riding the cotton pony
  • Riding the crimson tide
  • Riding the crimson wave
  • Riding the red ball special

S

  • Saddling Old Rusty
  • Santa’s bringing the presents
  • Scarlet letter, The
  • Seeing red
  • Serving up the womb steak medium rare
  • Shark bait
  • Sitting on a sock
  • Snatchbox decorated with red roses, A
  • Soggy box
  • Sprung a leak
  • Squeaky mattress symphony
  • Strings attached
  • Surfing the crimson tide
  • Surfing the crimson wave

T

  • T-Minus 9 months and holding
  • T.O.M. (Time Of the Month)
  • Taking Carrie to the prom
  • tampon
  • Technical difficulties
  • That time of the month
  • Time
  • Time to change the filter
  • Tin roof’s rusted
  • Tomato boat has come in
  • Too wet to plow
  • Train wreck
  • Trolling for vampires

U

  • Up on blocks

V

  • Vampire’s bag lunch
  • Visit from Cap’n Bloodsnatch, A
  • Visit from the Cardinal, A
  • Visitations, The

W

  • War in Virginia
  • Weeping womb
  • Wound of Eve that never heals, The
  • Wounded clam

X

Y

Z