Conspiracy Theories

Greg’s Conspiracy Theories

The fly mosquito theory

Mosquitos are only ever seen at night, flies are only ever seen during the day. The question is often asked “where do the flies go at night and where do the mosquitos go during the day?”. The answer is flies and mosquitos are the same thing, I postulate that flies are merely mosquito’s with their armour on. Mosquitos come from the same evolutionary path as the vampire and thus sun light is deadly to them. By night they roam the earth feeding on the blood of the living and by day they retire to there armour, protected from sun light and continue to scope out the world of the mortals looking for weaknesses in our defences and annoying us at BBQ’s.

The world is flat

We are taught in school that the world is round but this is a lie. The world must be flat because if it was the people in China would fall up into the sky. This lie was first introduced but a fellow called Christopher Columbus who had a stock pile of soccer balls that he had to get ride of. So he came up with a brilliant plan to sell his soccer balls as maps but no one would buy his ball maps as he called them because they were inaccurate due to the curvature of the ball. So he conspired with the Queen of Spain who was a drunk to let him sail “around” the world. For this the Queen would receive 3.5% of profit made from selling his now called “world globes”. Today the globe industry is worth over half a million US dollars annually and still today 3.5% of the profits from those sales goes to the Spanish Royal Family. This industry is so powerful that I risk my life just typing this.

Blind people have X-ray vision

Do not read this out loud

If someone had super X-ray vision that could see though everything they would in fact see nothing. For this reason I postulate that “blind” people aren’t blind at all but merely have the super power of X-ray vision. These so called “blind” people are actually a super race of people who, if trained correctly could take over the world. I am only safe in writing this down as it is not in brail and that is why I had the warning above about not reading this particular conspiracy out loud.

The Queen is behind the September 11 attacks

The Queen was behind the September 11 attacks on the United States. You will notice that the Queen was not in the Twin Towers or the Pentagon at the time of the attacks. Another incriminating fact is that no Royal properties were targeted in the attacks, only United States properties. But why would the Queen want to destroy the Twin Towers and the Pentagon?

Greg’s Biblical Conspiracy Theories

Jesus walked on ice

 

Jesus had an advanced knowledge of marine agriculture

 

Jesus faked his own death to be popular

tick crucified

Jesus invented port

More coming soon…

7 comments on “Conspiracy Theories
  1. Nathan says:

    Jesus walking on water is described in Mark 6:45-52, John 6:15-21, and Matthew 14:22-33. The sea was obviously not frozen for multiple reasons: 1) The sea in question is the sea of Galilee, which is never frozen even at the winter solstice. 2) Even so, this is far from the winter solstice, as the Gospel of John indicates that this is after Passover (early April, see John 6:4). 3) Given that it was frozen, there is no way the boat could have sailed from Bethsaida to Capernum as the text says. 4) furthermore, the passage mentions the water “rising up” and the waves “tossing”, which is impossible if it was frozen (John 6:18, Matthew 14:24).

    As for the world being flat, you would have to debunk quite a lot more than Columbus to prove that one. Ancient scholars such as Plato, Aristotle, Aristarchus and Euclid all mention (with sound reasoning) that the earth is round. Further, there are mathematical formulas to calculate the circumference of the Earth, you would have to explain these mathematics some other way. Additionally, you would have to explain how all explorers from Magellan onward circumnavigated the globe. Finally, satilite images since the 1950s have seen visually that the Earth is round.

    As for 9/11, why would the Queen be expected at the world trade center, on September 11 or any other time? Doesn’t she have more important things to do back in England?

    As for fly-mosquitos, I have been personally attacked by mosquitos in the middle of the day, and I have seen flies at night. Whenever you makes a theory so broad, you must realize that a single piece of evidence against it proves the whole theory wrong.

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